Lethal Affections

AN: I know many of you are angry with me for not updated like for 10 years! My reasons are that I have writers block and no inspiration….till NOW! I love you all 3 Promise.

Chapter 7: Drowned Memories

"You bastard…." He hissed.

The man and I had placed our underwear on. He stepped in front of me.

"Kiyoshi, I can explain this son." The man in the bed said.

The other silhouette was crying, "N-no, I saw that video of you fucking Shuichi… he's just a kid!"

"Kiyoshi please listen!"

A shot went off and something shattered in many pieces.

"Shuichi, why couldn't you have been with me? I'm closer to your age!"

"Kiyoshi, you like me?" the words just slithered out automatically.

"Yes, I loved you… remember when we made out? I loved it so much to feel your warm tongue slithering into my mouth; the sensation of your tiny hands caressing through my hair and down my back…."

"Kiyoshi…." I said. "I had no idea, why didn't you tell me?" Now I was the one crying. I don't know why I'm crying—why? What's going on?

"Son, please…I didn't do this against you. I love Shuichi as well. Ever since your mother died, I just couldn't date or have intimacy with anyone until I met Shu-Shu."

"Don't call him that!" he snapped. "Why does it have to be my Shuichi? Why couldn't you have fucked another boy instead? Huh, you pervert?"

"I can't help who I fall in love with." The man said in his defense.

"Me neither, Dad."

Two shots went off and the next thing I knew, blood was covering my barely clothed body. I look down upon the bed…. And saw this man dead.

I screamed after him, this feeling of dread overwhelmed me. "Darius! Darius! Wake up!" I became hysterical for one reason or another, "God damn it, get up Darius!" I looked at the man and said one word… "Why?"

He dropped the gun, "I can't help who I fall in love with," was all that he said.

I wake up with a headache. I look around me and see a spectrum of white lights glowing upon me. What was that dream just now? Who the hell are Darius and Kyoshi?

The sound of a pen scratching against paper catches my attention. My eyes adjust and I notice a man next to me dressed up very nicely. His hand glides on the clip board gracefully.

I blink. "W-Who're you?"

The man quickly turns his head towards me and stops writing; his eyes pierce me. "Pardon me. My name is Dr. Leroy. I'm a psychologist."

I eye him suspiciously, "A psychologist? For what?" My voice felt a little defensive then it should have been.

He smirks. "Well I'm more like a Forensic Psychologist, Shuichi."

I flinch and the wound on my stomach throbs with pain. "My name is Miyagi…Miyagi Hinata…not Shuichi." The only man who ever called me by that name was Yuki.

"No I'm afraid you're mistaken." He steps closer to the hospital. "You're suffering from psychogenic amnesia."

My eyes widen at the word amnesia. "Psycho-what?"

"Psychogenic Amnesia. The causes of psychogenic amnesia are psychological, and include many factors. By interviewing a close subject, I was able to find out the cause of your amnesia—emotional trauma. However, Shuichi, recently there has been studies that emotional trauma may alter the brain physiology, thus setting the stage for the relationship of psychological and physiological factors in the etiology of amnesia. The most mysterious psychogenic amnesia is identity loss."

I intervened. "Identity loss?"

"Yes, the person affected by this type of amnesia loses all personal memories, while retaining his or her general knowledge. For instance, the amnesiac, such as yourself, may not know his or her name, but can still be able to speak an acquired second language. Also, in psychogenic amnesia, there is no post-after memory loss."

"So, how long does this amnesia, if I do have it, last?"

"Psychogenic amnesia can be reversible. It lasts from hours to days. It's a serious condition that can be rather difficult to treat. However, what baffles me the most is that the subject I interviewed said that you have had this condition for three years already."

I get frustrated by this claim. And who is this subject that's telling complete bullshit to this damn psychologist anyway?

"My name is Miyagi Hinata. I don't know a Shuichi."

He sighs. "Miyagi Hinata is merely a fake persona. You are really Shuichi."

"No I'm not!" I yell. I feel the throbbing of the stab get denser. "Do you have proof of this so called Shuichi?" My heartbeat races.

"Matter of fact, I do." He reaches inside the inside pocket of his jacket and hands me a photograph. I study the picture and find myself at a loss of words.

The picture displays a young boy smiling gleefully. He had pink hair with…purple eyes.

The photo drops from my hands and I shake my head violently, "No, no, no. This isn't me!"

Mr. Leroy takes the picture from my lap and forces it to my face. "Look Miyagi at this boy, this boy is you, and this boy is named Shuichi Shindou! Hinata Miyagi isn't real! There is no one that exists by that name."

I snatch the photo from his hands and rip it in many halves. That boy is not me, and I am not that boy! Why can't anyone understand that?

"Go away!" Tears run down my face. "Just go away…"

The psychologist backs away. "Alright, if you wish that. But I am going to talk to that doctor about my diagnoses."

I scream at him, "Just go!" The man leaves and shuts the door behind him. I cover my eyes with my trembling hands, my body shakes. When I heard that door open up again, I furiously throw my pillow at the unknown individual, "Didn't I just say I didn't want to see you?"

"No, you haven't."

I look closely at the man and realize that it's not Mr. Leroy, but Yuki Eiri.

"Eiri…I thought that you were…someone else."

He slowly advances and leans over me. My mouth leans forward into a passionate kiss. When we broke our kiss, he kissed my forehead lightly and said:

"I love you Shuichi."

I back away from him, "I'm not Shuichi, I'm Miyagi! Can't you understand? Why can't you say you love Miyagi?"

Eiri's eyes become red and wet. He looks down at my lap and sees the shattered pieces of the photo of the pink haired boy. He sweeps the pieces into his hands and sadly smiles.

"I'm sorry." he places the pieces into his pocket.

I cross my arms, "About what?"

He sighs deeply and hesitates to speak.

"I don't love you Miyagi."

My limbs fall limp and my mouth drops down. "You don't love me? Didn't you just say you did?" streaming tears fall down my cheeks and soak my hospital gown.

"I said I love Shuichi, not Miyagi. When you got shot that one day, my Shuichi died. How can I love someone else other than him? Shuichi's dead and I can't handle this torment of being with a ghost."

I wipe tears away, "Ghost? What the hell are you talking about! I'm completely solid you idiot!"

He backs away, "Until you can remember who you really are, I can't see the reason of being with you. You cause me too much pain."

I can't believe my ears; I don't want this to be real. Isn't this a dream?

"B-But all those memories we had together…we're lovers aren't we, aren't we Yuki?"

"I only cherish the memories I had with Shuichi, not you."

Yuki swings around and walks out of the room. I'm left here in this lonely room—alone. The shock is beyond tears and screams. I'd finally found love and now I lost it. Yuki was the only man I loved. Now he doesn't love me.

I would be better off dead.

Next in Lethal Affections

Heartbroken, Miyagi returns to Donovan and continues to being a prostitute. However, at night, when he sleeps, more strange memories appear in his dreams. Meanwhile, Yuki confines himself in his house.

AN: Hey, sorry if this is short! I've been very busy lately with school/college work and being sick—gah! But I hoped you enjoyed this chapter. The next one will be up soon. :D