Disclaimer: The lovely and talented Ms. Meyer owns all things Twilight. Thanks for reading! See you below... (I give up trying to fix FF re-editing...sorry)
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The future is but a question mark
Hangs above my head there in the dark
Can't see for the brightness
Is staring me blind
God bid yesterday goodbye
"Bring on the Night" ~ The Police
BPOV
I watch Jasper walk out my bedroom door. I hear him moving around in the living room as my heart is tearing in two. I want to call him back, but my voice is stuck in my throat. My words won't leave my mouth. Please, Jasper. Don't leave me. I don't know what I'm saying.
My sensible side takes this opportunity to remind me why I told him to leave. James. The man who would hurt the ones I love. Wait! What? Love?
Love is impossible for me. Who could love me? The one who destroys everything, the one who makes others miserable, the one disowned by her own flesh and blood. I sell myself for other people's pleasure. My body belongs to another man, one who is very possessive of his property. I am nothing.
I hear the apartment door close and I collapse in on myself, trying unsuccessfully to fight the tears coursing down my face.
Oh Jasper! If only you could understand how desperately I want you to come back to me. How desperately I want to be wanted, I want your words to be true. How desperately I want the same things, to have you in return.
How did I get to this point? My life has meant nothing to anyone, just a paycheck for James, a receptacle for hundreds of men. What does Jasper see in me, that no one else, including me, can see? He must be delusional or blind. Although, doctor's aren't typically delusional. Arrogant, yes. Delusional, not so much.
Perhaps he has a save-the-world complex and he wants to save me. I know the truth, I'm not worth saving. He should save someone with fixable wounds, with purpose in her life. My scars are deep and will never heal. My life ended when I couldn't save my baby, and I lost my purpose when I sold my body for money.
I realize I'm sobbing uncontrollably and making a large wet mess of my t-shirt and sheets. I pull myself together and wipe my face with my shirt. Breathing slowly and deeply, I start to relax and take in my surroundings. The sun is starting to set and the room is steeped in shadows. I notice a small sheet of paper on the bedside table with a number and Jasper's name on it. The writing blurs as the tears again fill my vision. Jesus, this man is trying my resolve. I need reinforcements.
I quickly text Rose.
Doc's gone. Need tequila. ~B
Her response is just as quick. She must have been waiting for this.
Uh oh. Didn't go well? Fuck. Be there soon. ~R
I smile when I realize she thinks he fucked up. That he is the reason I need the tequila to drown my sorrows. But it's just my same stupid life and my same stupid heart making me a blubbering idiot.
If I'm going to be drinking tequila, I had better put on some clothes. Bad things can happen with tequila, and it helps to have a head start with clothing. I grab a fresh shirt and jeans from my closet and quickly change while walking into the bathroom. My face is red and splotchy and I sigh as I splash some cold water over my eyes, hoping to look slightly presentable. I brush my teeth and hair, feeling more normal by the minute. Throwing my hair into a loose ponytail, I hear a knock at the door and Rose's voice calling down the hall.
"Bella? Hey! I brought your fucking tequila. That asshole better not have hurt you or I'll have his fucking balls. You hear me?"
"I hear ya', Rose," I yell back as I walk out to the living room.
Rose stands in front of the kitchen, long legs encased in thigh-high black leather boots, a small red miniskirt barely covering her, and a tight black tanktop accentuating her large breasts that are almost spilling out the top. She has her arms spread wide, one hand holding tequila, the other a bag of limes. I love this girl.
"Jesus, Rose. Where have you been hanging out?"
"It's been a good day, Bella. I had five boys before noon and I wasn't even trying. This outfit is going to make me a fucking superstar." She smirks before tossing the limes at me and turning back to the kitchen to get shot glasses and a knife. Yeah, we're all class like that.
"With legs like those, I'm not even sure you need the boots."
She sits next to me on the couch, setting the bottle, glasses and knife on the coffee table before unzipping and removing the ridiculous boots. I giggle imagining myself in them, and the epic face plant that would result.
"They accentuate what I've already got. And most of the guys were much quicker with them on. And you know what that means."
"Less time, more dime. Yeah, I know." I sigh. This is just what I need. Rose is already pulling me back into my normal world, out of fantasy land where Jasper and I have our happily ever after.
"So," Rose begins, looking at me expectantly. "How'd it go?" She grabs the bottle and starts pouring as I cut the limes.
"Hold on just a second. I'm going to need a couple before I start blubbering my nonsense."
We each take a couple shots, grimacing at the burn and sucking on the limes to quench it. Ahh, tequila, my long lost friend. It burns so good.
"Okay, B. One more for the road and then spill." We clink shot glasses and down the amber liquid.
Shaking my head slightly from the lime, I set down the glass and slide back on the couch. Rose and I face each other in mirror positions, one leg tucked under and arm across the back of the couch.
"So? Doctor boy?"
"Um...yeah, well. He brought me breakfast..."
"I saw that, B. And I told him to not fucking break you or I would break him. How'd that go?"
"Well, we talked." She motions impatiently at me to hurry up with the story. "And we kissed." I can feel the blush spreading over my cheeks and I put my hands on my face to hide it.
"Seriously?" Rose pulls my hands from my face. "You're fucking blushing? Since when do you blush, especially over a kiss?"
"I don't know. Just since I met Jasper, I think."
"Well, he definitely has your panties in a twist. You haven't been thinking right since then either."
She pats my hand as I sigh, realizing that it's true. He's infiltrated my whole life. I was content before he showed up. I have an apartment, and Rose, and a job I don't hate. What more could a girl ask for?
"After the kiss, then what? You know, nice girls don't have sex on the first date." She wiggles her eyebrows at me and we both dissolve into hysterics.
"Well, we all know I'm not a nice girl." I manage to retort through my giggles.
"Okay, so after the sex, what happened?"
I'm immediately serious as I realize she just assumes that we would have sex. Because sex is nothing. "We didn't have sex, Rose. Just kissing and then we took a nap."
"And I thought I had heard all the euphemisms out there. That's a new one. 'Took a nap,' as if you could just sleep with him." She snorts, shaking her head, and begins to laugh, until she looks up at me.
I'm slightly appalled that she can't believe we just slept together, but I do have sex with random strangers for money. I would have the same incredulity if she said the same to me. "No, really. We just took a nap. We woke up around four when I had a nightmare, and I made him leave."
"You kicked him out? Why would you do that?"
"What do you mean, Rose? He can't be with me. Why would I torture myself like that? You said yourself he would never stay and I shouldn't believe he would."
"I know what I said, but I've been thinking more about this, B. He could be your ticket out of here. You could stop this, stop living like this. Why would you throw that away?"
"You know why." I shot her a dark look. She doesn't remember the last time?
"I know you're scared, but Jasper isn't him. I don't think he'd run at the first hint of trouble."
"But I would want him to run. I won't anyone put in danger because of me. And we both know James is danger."
"James is a lot of talk, but I don't think he'd actually hurt you or Jasper. You just have to tell him you're done. If you think Jasper is worth it, and I think you do, you should go talk to James."
"I don't know, Rose. You've seen James lately. He's becoming more possessive with each client I see. I don't even want to think about what happened to Felix."
"Yeah, I know. But James loses girls every year and doesn't even blink. It'll be fine." She gives me a half-hearted smile and I know that she doesn't even truly believe it.
"What about you, Rose? I can't leave you."
"You can leave me and you will. I won't have you stay in this life for me. Maybe I'll quit, too. I could get a job at a bar or something."
"Emmett sure has a thing for you. I bet you he'd give you a job." I wink at her and she shoves my shoulder.
"Are you kidding me? That guy hasn't said two words to me. But man, I could look at him all day. Who needs words?"
We both laugh, relieving some of the tension, but we quickly settle down, eying the tequila.
"We both need another shot and then we'll watch a movie or something," Rose suggests. I lean forward to cut more lime wedges and we each down a shot.
My toes and fingers start to tingle and I know the liquor is working its magic. Soon I will drift off to sleep with no dreams or nightmares and I can ignore everything until tomorrow. I flick on the TV and we settle in to watch some 80's movie with John Cusack. He's kind of hot in a nerdy, teenage way. We giggle and drink and generally forget about life for a while. This is why I love Rose. She makes my life feel normal, makes me feel normal. Like we're just two college girls hanging out and watching movies.
We're curled up together on the couch, trying to decide what to watch next when Rose's phone beeps. "That's probably James, I need to get back to work."
I sigh and sit up, pleasantly buzzing and eager to go to bed.
"S'alright, Rosie. I'm fine." My words are slurred, but I'm fairly certain that Rose understands. I look blearily up at her and she laughs.
"Bella, you can not handle tequila. Here, let me get you to bed."
I let her half carry me to bed and pull her in for a tight hug, leaning into her tall frame. "Rosie, I love you. You're the best."
"I love you, too, B. And I'll get you some aspirin for that terrible hangover you're gonna have."
I lay down and hear her rustling around the room and turning off the lights.
"Night, B. I'll stop by tomorrow for breakfast," she says as she walks down the hallway.
"Night, Rose. Be safe," I call after her, sleep dragging me down.
"Always am," she responds. I hear the front door close and lock, and everything else fades to black.
~0~0~
The next morning, the sunlight is streaming in the window and I groan as I try to pull the covers over my eyes. The blood is pounding in my head and my stomach is rolling at the same rhythm. Ugh, no more tequila on an empty stomach.
After several minutes of coaxing, my stomach decides not to empty itself and I make my way cautiously to the bathroom. Standing in the shower, the hot water melting away my pain and nausea, I think about yesterday with Jasper. The morning was heaven, pure heaven. I haven't been so excited or nervous or turned on in a very long time. And Jasper was perfect.
Even when you kicked him out.
I feel the tears form unbidden when I remember his face, the hope fading from his eyes, as I told him to leave. My heart ripping and shredding in the process.
I don't understand how I have such a strong attachment to this man. I have known him for four days. Four days is nothing.
You trusted Rose after four minutes. Four days is a lifetime.
Oh, God, I'm finally insane. I'm arguing with myself.
I huff and exit the shower, toweling off and putting on clean pajamas. I don't plan to leave the apartment, so I don't feel the need to really get dressed. I laze around, catching up on some reading and eating ice cream out of the container, generally feeling sorry for myself. Around noon, Rose calls and says she just woke up and will be over soon with some food.
She arrives shortly with hot meatball subs which we devour in record time, the only sounds are the moans of us enjoying the meal. When we're done and we've cleaned everything up, we go to the living room to relax.
"Well, B, now that you're sober, can we chat?"
"Don't you have somewhere to be? Some money to make?"
"You know I have today off. Where do I have to be?"
"You have the day off? Wait. What day is it?"
"It's Monday. Are you sure you should be up and about? Haven't hit your head again?"
"Fuck you, whore. Just because I don't know what day of the week it is, doesn't mean you can make fun of me."
"Sure, it does." She smiles at me, glad that I'm being feisty again. "That's what friends are for. And for kicking your ass, too."
"Why are you going to kick my ass, again?"
"Because you are moping and it's just wrong."
"Why is it wrong? I kicked him out. I told him to leave and he left. I think I can feel sad for a day or so."
"No, I don't think you can. You need to get over this or go get him. There are no other options."
"But he left me. He's gone." I can tell I'm edging onto whiny, and Rose is going to smack me soon.
"Oh, just shut up. Will you listen to yourself? 'He left me. I'm so helpless.'" she mocks, in a sing-song voice. "Grow up, B. He left because you asked him to. He left you his number in case you change your mind. You have every opportunity to get him back, and believe me he wants you back." I move to argue with her but she just clamps her hand over my mouth. "No, B. I won't let you interrupt me with your silly protests. That boy loves you. I'm not sure how or why, honestly, but he does. You pushed him away. So, either get over him and stop feeling sorry for yourself for your own actions, or go get him back. It's as simple as that."
"I'm not sure it's so simple, but I'll think about it. And I promise to not be mopey for the rest of the day."
"Great! Now what should we do?" Rose smiles brilliantly at me, and I know she's done with her rant.
We decide to get out my Wii and we play MarioKart and Super Mario Bros until the sun begins to fade. We order Chinese take-out and watch Simpson's reruns while we wait.
The delivery guy shows up a short while later and we eat while watching TV and making small talk. We make no mention of Jasper or James or my life choices haunting me. Eventually I must have dozed off, because next thing I know the room is dark and Rose is trying to lift me off the couch.
"Mmph. Rose, what's going on?"
"Just trying to get you to bed, silly girl."
I allow her to help me to bed and we both strip and climb under the covers. I'm glad Rose is here tonight. I'm not sure I want to be alone right now.
"Rose?"
"Hmmm?" Her voice is muffled by the comforter pulled over her head.
"I'm glad you're here," I mumble into my pillow.
"Me too, B."
I fall quickly into a dreamless sleep.
The morning sun slanting across my face wakes me, and I roll over and face Rose who's snoring softly. Behind her, I see the small piece of paper on the table, Jasper's number taunting me.
I flop onto my back, remembering his perfect face, perfect lips, perfect everything. Why would I mar that perfection by dragging him into my life? My world of darkness and heartache and pain. He will find out the truth of my parents' loathing, their abandonment, my shame, my loss, and all the depraved acts that I have performed willingly for money, for a better life. How could he ever look at me again after he knew the truth? I hope for nothing.
A quiet sob escapes my lips and Rose's eyes open slowly. She pulls me into her as tears course across my face, pooling on the pillow.
"Oh, Sweetie. You can't keep torturing yourself. It will ruin you," she murmurs, while running her hand over my back soothingly.
"But, what if I choose Jasper and he leaves me? What if he doesn't love me enough?"
"You can't let the 'what if's run your life. What if you don't choose Jasper and it's the biggest mistake of your life? What if you regret that decision forever? Are those worse choices?"
"I don't know, Rose. I just don't know."
"I know you don't, Sweetie. And I will support you and help you with whatever choice you make." She glances at the clock quickly. "Ah, shit it's almost ten." She turns back to me and smiles encouragingly. "Want me to come back later? It'll be late. I have to work tonight."
I cringe when I think about returning to my job soon. It's never really bothered me before, but I feel different. Jasper makes me feel worth more. Rose stands and quickly gathers her clothes.
"Why don't I just talk to you tomorrow, Rosie? I'm just going to relax and catch up on some reading." I gesture to the large pile of books next to my bed and she chuckles.
"You and your happily ever afters. I'm sorry to be leaving so quickly, but I'll call you later," she calls over her shoulder on the way to the bathroom.
"Sounds good."
I hear the bathroom door close and the water run as she makes herself presentable. A short time later, Rose emerges fully dressed and ready to leave. Returning to the bedroom, as my lazy ass has yet to move, she sits beside me on the bed and wraps me in her arms.
"It'll work out, B. I know it will."
"You know, Rose, that actually makes me feel better."
"Actually? Like I'm never encouraging?"
"Not really."
Rose smacks my arm and grins at me, earning a loud "Ow!" from me.
"You totally deserved that, bitch. I won't be happy anymore. From now on, only fucking pissy bitch."
I giggle a little and hug her again. "Thanks, Rose."
"Anytime, B."
She stands and grabs her purse on the way out the door. I hear the front door close and flop back onto the pillows, willing my mind to stop racing.
I sigh and roll out of bed, deciding to get on with my day. I take a long shower, relishing the hot water streaming over my body. When my fingers begin to wrinkle, I turn off the water and step out. After drying myself, I wrap my over-sized robe around me and walk back to the bedroom.
If I'm going to relax and read today, I'm going to do this the right way. Selecting several books from the pile on the floor, I drop them quickly onto the coffee table and head into the kitchen. I brew a cup of tea and toast a bagel, bringing those to the couch as well. I snuggle under a blanket, grab a book and sip my tea. Slowly, I start to relax, the tension of the last few days seeping out of me.
I close the book I'm reading when my stomach growls and I wonder what time it is. The room is significantly darkened and I reach behind me to switch on the light. The clock on the wall reads 6:45.
Holy shit! I spent the whole day here in my little fantasy world!
Well, that's what you wanted isn't it?
I ignore the snarky voice in my head as I pull the blanket off and trudge to the kitchen. I rummage through the pantry and refrigerator, deciding I had the ingredients to make pasta with garlic sauce. Comfort food it is.
After dinner, I watch a couple hours of TV, but decide to go to bed early. Laying down and staring at the ceiling, the last thoughts through my head are of Jasper. I'm no closer to a decision, but this day for myself has made my head clearer. It's like a mental reset button and I feel refreshed and renewed. I drift to sleep, visions of blonde hair and gray eyes swimming through my dreams.
I wake abruptly to Rose's ringtone screaming from my cell phone. I scramble for the phone on my bedside table, knocking it onto the floor.
"Shit!" I grab the phone and answer a little breathlessly.
"What the fuck are you doing, B? Is Jasper over? I don't want to interrupt."
"No, he's not here, Rose. You woke me up," I huff at her, indignant about her accusation.
"Jesus fuck, Bella. It's almost noon. You've been sleeping all day?"
"No, I'm up. I'm up," I reassure her as I sit up in bed and rub my eyes. "How'd last night go?"
"Same shit, different night. You know."
I did know. That also meant she didn't get any big money.
"Anyway, I was calling to let you know I'm coming over with lunch. What d'ya want?"
With that, my stomach growls loudly. "Whatever you bring is fine with me. I haven't eaten anything in forever."
"Okay, be there soon then." She hangs up and I sigh. What would I do without Rose?
By the time I'm brushing my teeth and hair, Rose knocks at the door. I race to the door, but she's already walking in, having used her own key.
"Sorry, I was in the bathroom," I explain, a little breathless.
"S'alright. That's why I have a key, so I don't have to wait for your slow ass." She chuckles at me and hands me a bag with sandwiches and chips as she removes her shoes and jacket.
"Thanks for bringing over lunch, Rose. I'm not sure I have much left here to eat."
"Not a problem. Plus, we need to talk." She looks seriously into my eyes and suddenly I'm a little afraid.
I never liked that phrase from Rose. It always meant bad news.
"Okay, well let's eat and we can talk." I smile at her, trying to dispel my feelings of dread.
We sit in the bar stools at the kitchen counter and I nibble at the hoagie she brought.
I take a deep breath, unable to contain my anxiety any longer.
"Shit, Rose, you're seriously freaking me the fuck out. Spit it out already."
"Jesus, Bella. Calm the fuck down, it's not that bad. It's just...I ran into Newton last night."
I choke on my sandwich and Rose whacks me on the back until I can breathe again.
"Dude, you have to warn a girl when you're going to do that."
"Sorry, B. I just thought you should know he was back in town."
"Wait, you saw Mike? Alive? James told me that he 'took care of him' and that Mike wouldn't be coming back."
Mike was the first regular who wanted me to quit hooking and be his girlfriend. At the time, I was fairly new to the business and believed him when he said he loved me. I told James I was quitting to be with Mike and James became livid. He locked me in his apartment and said he would go after Mike. I couldn't stop him. I never saw Mike again and I thought James had killed him.
"Yeah, well James lied. He may have threatened a little, but there was definitely no killing. He told Mike to leave you alone or things could be worse."
"All this time, I thought James killed him," I muse. Tears springing to my eyes.
"No, Bella. Mike does not deserve tears. James told him to fuck off and he did. He didn't even try for you, didn't fight at all."
"What are you trying to say, Rose?"
"When I saw Mike yesterday, he tried to hire me, like nothing had ever happened between him and you. He knew who I was, and wasn't even afraid to be seen with me, the little prick. So, I told him off for leaving and not trying for you. And you know what he said?"
I stare at her wide-eyed, shaking my head slightly.
"He said 'No real man will ever want a whore. You are all used trash.'" She takes a deep breath through gritted teeth and continues with a growl. "So, I punched him in the nuts."
I gasp and my hand covers my mouth, half at his words and half at Rose's response. How could he say that? Mike once told me he loved me and would never leave me. The pain of this realization arcs through me and I stifle a sob. She reaches over and squeezes my arm.
"Bella, I know this is hard to hear, but he never wanted you. He wanted sex he didn't have to pay for. He is not worth your tears."
"He said he loved me," I try to explain. I'm rocked to my core when I think of Jasper, who has not declared his love. I was considering leaving James for Jasper, and he would leave me just the same. I should just accept that I will be alone.
The tears are flowing freely down my cheeks and Rose leans over and grasps my face in her hands, pulling my gaze to her.
"Ah, Bella. I know what you're thinking and you are wrong. Mike was always a sleaze, and I always said so. Jasper is nothing like Mike. I think he may be the real deal."
"'May be' might not be good enough any more," I mumble, trying to break her intense gaze.
"Did you love Mike?"
"No," I sigh. I may have been willing to leave James with Mike with promises of love and a better life, but I never loved him.
"Do you love Jasper?" she questions, still staring intently into my eyes.
"What?!" I back up involuntarily, shocked by her question.
"Do you love Jasper?" She enunciates each word clearly, like speaking to a child.
"Uh, I don't know. I mean, I like...hell, I'm not sure."
Rose laughs and releases my face. I open and close my mouth, flexing my jaw newly freed from her grasp.
"Well, I think you need to figure that part out first, and then you will have your answers."
"I didn't know philosopher-Rose was coming to visit," I joke, trying to lighten the mood.
"Well, you never know what you're going to get when you open the door. It's part of the mystery that is me." I laugh with her and we finish our sandwiches.
"Bella, I can't stay tonight. I have a client at four and need to get ready."
"Of course, Rose. I'm sorry you girls are all busier because I'm not working."
"Whatever. You'd do the same for us. Oh, and you should call James. I think he has plans for you this weekend."
I shudder thinking about that phone call and decide I should do it tonight so he didn't get too pissed off.
"Sure thing, Rose. I'll call him tonight."
"Excellent. Anyway, don't be mopey. Think through your options, but please, follow your heart."
"I will. Don't worry, I will."
I walk Rose to the door and she gives me a tight hug before leaving.
"I love you, B. And I will help you with whatever you decide."
"I love you, too, Rosie. And I know you will."
"Talk to you soon, whore," she calls over her shoulder while walking down the stairs. I shake my head and shut the door.
I clean up my apartment and read a little, biding my time until I need to call James. I wait until six to make sure he'll be awake. He answers on the first ring.
"Bella?"
"Yeah, hi James. How's it going?"
"Fucking great now! Haven't heard from ya, but that bitch Rose said you been sleepin' a bunch, so I let it go. I was worried, ya know, wonderin' if I needed to come over."
"No, no, James. I'm good." Shit, I couldn't have him come here. "Just needed some time to rest and heal, but I'm feeling much better."
"Right. Oh, I've a job for ya' Saturday. Guy's a repeat. Some fancy shit. I'll have details Friday and I'll call ya'."
"Sounds good, J. When did you want me back out at night?"
"Next Monday, yeah? But, let me know how Saturday goes."
"Okay."
"Gotta go, B. Call me tomorrow."
"Alright. Talk to you then," I respond, but he's already hung up. Fucking ass.
So, Saturday is my first job since Felix. I should be ecstatic that James gave me a week off. Jess barely got 2 days, and she had more stitches than me. I just can't bring myself to be happy about going back to work, to letting another man touch me after Jasper.
So, what are you going to do about it, Bella? Let Jasper go? Ask him what his intentions are?
What are my intentions? Do I love him? Do I want to be loved?
I don't know much, but the answer to the latter is easy. Of course, I want to be loved.
I can imagine a life with Jasper. The house with the white picket fence. I could go to school, perhaps become an English teacher. I could become someone respectable, worthy of having a doctor as a husband.
Husband? Where did that come from?
I had never thought of marriage for me before. Not even when I was pregnant. I was never that foolish that anyone would want me that way.
Jasper has changed all my preconceptions of myself. When I'm with him, I feel like I could accomplish something, be somebody, like I could matter.
I felt like this once, when I was a teenager, when all my dreams weren't broken. I remember my dreams of going to college, getting a degree, perhaps teaching at the university. I also had dreams of a family, introducing a boy to my parents, their beaming smiles accepting my love into the family.
When I got pregnant and my parents shoved me out of their lives, my dreams were trampled under their feet as they tossed me onto the streets. I made one small mistake and didn't conform to their expectations, and they washed their hands of me. I was an embarrassment, something they couldn't explain to their country club friends.
But now, today, I have hope again. Jasper has brought me hope. And love.
I smile.
I love him. I really do.
I yawn widely and look around at the surrounding darkness. I've been sitting and thinking in the bar stool for hours and my muscles are stiff and sore. My head is throbbing and I'm suddenly exhausted. I need to readjust my internal clock, or I'll never make it through a night of work.
I fall into bed and am asleep before my head hits the pillow.
I wake and it's still dark out, but I am calm.
I have decided. I will call Jasper today.
I wait until noon and nervously dial his number. It takes three tries, but I finally get the number correct. I listen to the ring in my ear, worrying my lip with my teeth. Then I hear his rough voice, and all my fears melt away.
"Hello?"
"Jasper?"
"Bella? Is that you? Oh, thank God."
I giggle. "Yes, it's me. Uh, I'd like to see you if that's okay."
"That's more than okay. When do you want to meet?"
"How about dinner? I need to get out of my apartment." I sniff myself, suddenly wary that I'm not very fresh.
"That sounds great. I'll come get you. Around five?"
I chuckle. "Isn't five a little early for dinner?" I hear him inhale to reply, but I quickly interrupt. "You know what? Five is great. I can't wait to see you either."
He laughs, too. "It's that obvious, is it?"
"Yeah, but I like it," I admit. I'm sure my face is a brilliant shade of red as I blush furiously.
"Bella, I can almost hear your blush."
"Yeah, well. I'm still not used to this."
"I hope you will be someday, Sweetness. I really do."
I can feel tears spring to my eyes. Does he even know how sweet he is?
I clear my throat and change the subject. "Right. Well, five then?"
"Sure. I'll see you then."
"See you." I hang up reluctantly, smiling at the phone as his number fades from the display.
My first date with Jasper. I hope I don't fuck this up.
.
.
A/N: Bet you didn't expect this so soon...well, me neither!
I just want to say that my beta, mhl1115, is the fuck-awesomest. I swear. Sent her this on Saturday, back to me on Sunday. If you appreciate this as much as I do, you should send her some love... And, embarrassingly, I have lost the ability to distinguish "their" and "there", but she has me all straightened out. I've never gotten all those silly comma rules correct. Any mistakes in here are all me editing post-beta. Bad bad bmango...
I've got this story all planned to 11 chapters, so not much longer now... Thanks for sticking with me, my loyal few... Reviews = my happiness!! Love you all! Mango, out.