(November 07, 2010)
"I'm crying out, I'm breaking down,
I am fearing it all,
Stuck inside these walls,
Tell me there is hope for me
Is anybody out there listening?Can't you hear my call?
Are you coming to get me now?
I've been waiting for,
You to come rescue me,
I need you to hold,
All of the sadness I can not,
Living inside of me"
I'm In Here- Sia
"Hermione, this has to be some bloody joke!"
Hermione continued walking to class, ignoring the outburst from behind. Students parted before her, allowing her to pass while sending daggers through her soul. Ever since the kiss with Malfoy, that was all students talked about. Even the professors looked peculiarly at her. Footsteps echoed against the weary walls, rampaging towards her and then finally stopped as they caught up to her pace.
"Harry, how kind of you to stalk me," she said weakly when he ran in front of her. Harry glared down at her and shook his head, knowing that the rumor was true.
"How could you let this happen, Malfoy of all people? I thought you were smarter than this. This man is the essence of evil. The things he has done are unspeakable. He holds resemblance of the defeated Dark Lord. He is trouble Hermione, stay away from him," Harry scolded.
Harry was right. She should keep her distance from him, but how can she? Feelings have already developed; he was constantly on her mind and that kiss, who could deny such a kiss? Hermione sighed and debated what to say. Harry opened his mouth to speak once again but then closed it and averted his glare behind Hermione. Strong arms grabbed Hermione arms and pulled her away. Hermione gasped and looked up to find Draco shooting bullets to Harry's head.
"Malfoy, what are you doing?" Hermione asked but there was no reply for he was having a glaring contest with Harry. Hermione turned around in his arms and placed her hands on his chest. "Malfoy?" she whispered.
Draco broke the gaze and looked down at her shaking his head. He formed his lips into a thin line and his eyes were filled with struggle. "Never mind," he whispered back hesitantly and walked away with his hands in his pockets.
Hermione stood in the corridor with her head in a daze. "Hermione let's go, before we're late to class," Harry said while taking her hand and leading her to class.
~o~
Whispers followed him where ever he went. He was used to it though; he went through his whole life with people talking about him. This, to him, was second nature. But out of all the things people said about him he had never thought in his whole life that Granger would be the reason for it.
What the bloody hell am I doing? Why did I kiss Granger in front of everyone? Damn Malfoy, you are losing it. Since when do you let one girl mess with your mind like that? he thought.
Draco stopped walking down the crowded hallway and punched his fist into the wall. Pain ran through his hand and everyone froze watching him cautiously. He kept a blank face not caring that he left a dent in the wall. He leaned back against the wall and closed his eyes.
He felt the eyes of everyone burning into this face. A moment later her opened his eyes and surely enough people where staring at him. He straightened up and glared at everyone motioning them that if they didn't leave they would regret it. Everyone got the idea and scrambled along while each of them whispered something into each other's ears while turning their head slightly to look at Draco.
The bell rang indicating that classes started but Draco didn't move an inch. He didn't want to go to Professor Snape's class especially since Granger was in it. Draco walked the opposite way from class and headed to the lake. I need to end this. Granger and I aren't supposed to happen, he thought.
He kicked the pile of dry leaves in front of him and kept walking until he was by a tree that could hide him from Hogwarts. He sat down on the crunchy leaves and watched the lake. Flashbacks came and went through his mind, good but mostly bad. Like the times his father punished him physically and emotionally; the images of Lord Voldemort from last year; the look of his father's face when Aurors came to take him away; the sorrow on his mother's face when she thought that he was dead; Professor Snape's lifeless body when Nagini bit him; the fear on Hermione's face when she was holding onto the bar of the ledge; her seductive face when she kissed him for the first time; the hot rainy scene of them at the tower; Hermione's sad face when she though that he wasn't going to kiss her when she asked him to this morning. Draco shook his head and stared at the afternoon sun. Skipping classes the whole day wasn't part of his routine but what else could he do when so many things were running through his mind.
This is bad, really bad. Even if I consider letting Granger be anything with me, she won't know what she will be getting herself into. Doesn't she know who I am? Doesn't she remember all of the pain I caused her? I can't be with her, it just can't happen, he thought. Draco got up off the ground and walked back to Hogwarts. The halls were empty and the sound of his shoes echoed from the walls. He walked to his potions class and walked in without missing a beat.
The room quickly became quite and students stopped what they were doing
"Malfoy, explain to the class why missing half of my class was important to you," Professor Snape sneered and stopped writing on the chalkboard.
Draco stopped walking and took a look at Snape then at the class. He looked at everyone's eyes and stopped when he met Hermione's.
"Because I have better things to do than waste my time with non-worthy beings including a certain Mudblood," Draco said clearly so that everyone heard. He still looked at Hermione and he saw how hurt she was by his words. The classroom looked at one another and then back at Hermione.
"Malfoy, a word," Snape said.
"No, I believe that is unnecessary."
"Now," Professor Snape snapped.
Draco took his eyes off of Hermione and quickly looked at the rest of the unspoken class. He turned around and followed Snape out of the room.
"What?" Draco asked.
"How dare you miss half of my class and disrupt it with your vulgarity?" he asked.
Draco looked at Snape with no pity. "Because I can," Draco stated.
Snape was taken aback. "Excuse me?" he snarled. "Malfoy, don't ruin the last chance you get. Be thankful for once in your life that you're not dead, didn't end up like your beloved father and that you got one more chance to fix things right," Snape screamed to his face while holding his shoulders.
Students stood by the doorway eager to hear what was going on. Hermione sat down in her chair silently. She didn't need to be by the door to hear the conversation. She perfectly heard every word from where she was sitting. After all, Snape and Draco where talking way too loudly for the whole world to hear.
"Fix what Snape? My life is over; I have nothing left to live for. People know what I was and what I still am, there's no need for me to prove any of them wrong! I have money; I have better education than all of these students combined. I don't need any of them when this year is over; all they'll ever be is a faded memory. This place is dead to me and the people in it!" Draco bellowed knowing he had lost his temper once again.
Everyone turned around and looked at the only girl that was sitting in a desk. Hermione looked back at them but her mind was somewhere else. He doesn't mean that. How can he say that after what we have been through, after that kiss? He doesn't mean that, he doesn't mean that, she thought, but deep down she knew he was right.
Draco and Snape stood facing each other with faces red and veins popping out from their necks.
"No one cares about you anymore boy! What do you have other than those whose loyalty you forced?" Snape said callously. "No one." Draco hardened his jaw with fury. "Everyone except me; you were once a manipulative child whose parents altered your train of thought and caused pain in every direction you walked. But something changed when I saw you with Granger the other night," Draco straightened up relaxing his tense body. "I don't know how you two got together and honestly I don't care. All I have to say is, stop messing up your life 'cause I'm tired of cleaning up after you." Snape finished and stared at Draco like he was his own son.
Draco didn't say anything and walked away from him. Snape sighed and shook his head; he opened the door and saw students stumble back to their desks.
"Return to your work," Snape ordered.
Hermione looked at the door waiting for Draco to walk out of it but he never did. She looked at Snape who was reading a book on his desk and then back at the door.
"Hermione," Ron whispered. Hermione ignored him and stared at the door. "Just let him go. You heard what he said out there, he doesn't want you," he said.
Hermione looked at him and felt her stomach drop. Snape looked at Hermione and caught her eye. She bit the inside of her lips and started to twirl the ends of her hair. She didn't know why she was nervous but what she did know was that she couldn't sit in this chair with everyone staring at her every second. Hermione got up from her desk, grabbed her bag and walked to Snape's desk. She placed her notebook on his desk and walked out before dashing into a run.
"Hermione!" Ron screamed after her.
"Sit down Mr. Weasley before I issue a detention." Ron glared at Snape and slowly sat down on his seat. Snape opened up Hermione's notebook and saw that the only thing written for the assignment he assigned was the date.
~o~
Draco walked into the men's room and threw his book bag on the floor before reaching the sink. His emotions were overpowering him, making him crumble down to the verge of tears.
No one cares about you anymore boy!
He looked into the mirror and washed his face from the weakening tears. What do you have other than those whose loyalty you forced? Professor Snape spoke the words of truth. Who cared about him anymore? Draco glanced at his pale reflection. No one, Snape's words haunted Draco's mind. No one.
Not even Hermione Granger.
~o~
Hermione ran down the hall searching for Draco. She didn't know why she wanted to find him but something inside of her told her to. She finally spotted his blond hair at the end of the hallway and dropped her book bag.
"Malfoy!" she yelled.
Draco kept on walking. The last thing he wanted was to see her.
"Malfoy!" she called after him again. He heard her footsteps running after him, but he still didn't stop. He heard her breathe in deeply behind him and felt her hand on his shoulder. Draco quickly spun around and yanked her hand off of him.
"Stay away from me!" Draco screamed at her. Hermione stood still and watched his forsaken eyes grow in fiery.
"Why must you follow me? I don't want anything to do with you. You're an impure, disgracing Mudblood. Can't you see that I was playing you all along? I never thought that you were beautiful, I never wanted to kiss you, and I never even wanted to save you that night. Don't you get it?" Draco bellowed.
Hermione's vision started to blur. "You don't mean that," Hermione said softly.
"Are you deaf?" Draco said harshly. "Merlin Granger, are you even listening to the words that are coming out of my mouth. I don't have feelings for you, I never have!"
Slowly, tears ran down her cheek and Draco just watched them fall. He turned away from her when Hermione started to cry more.
"You're lying Malfoy!" she screamed and grabbed his hand. Draco roughly threw her against the window and let go of her hand. The window broke in pieces and shattered over her. Her face was scratched from the glass and started to bleed.
Hermione groaned in pain as she touched the warm blood from the cuts. She looked up at Draco and grasped everything that was happening. She knows that he just brutally hurt her, but she can't let him go. Draco looked down at her and saw a trail of blood flow down the side of her face. He stood still and looked at the helpless Hermione on the floor. Pain ran through her head as she placed her fingers on her temple. She breathed in hastily and looked up at Draco who was stood frozen in place.
"I warned you," was all he said and turned around.
"Don't do this," Hermione managed to mumble.
Draco closed his eyes and kept on walking. Hermione got up from the ground and walked around Draco to face him. She placed one of her hands on his jawbone and the other on this neck. She searched in his grey eyes for some sympathy but she couldn't find any. Butterflies and pain tingled through her body combining a weird combination.
He felt tears fall on chest and he knew that Hermione was crying once again. He closed his eyes and he wanted to badly to wrap his arms around her but he didn't. He just stood there. Draco opened his eyes and shoved Hermione off of him. Hermione stumbled back but caught her balance. She looked at him with swollen eyes but he just walked away. She watched his back until he rounded the corner and disappeared. Hermione went down on her knees and cried into her hands.
Draco leaned against the wall and heard Hermione cry. He felt like his whole world was falling apart. He was fighting the urge to go back and hug her.
"You did the right thing."
Draco turned around and saw a person in a black cloak stand beside him. He hit his head against the wall and closed his eyes.
"You did exactly what you were supposed to do; play her brittle heart and watch it shatter. It's amazing to see everything go so perfectly planned. Good job for pretending that you liked her back," the person said which came with a laugh. Draco took in a deep breath and glared at the person.
"Malfoy, don't look at me like that. Please don't tell me that you were actually falling for her?"
"No I wasn't," he said slowly. He walked up to the mysterious person and pulled the hood off revealing Pansy. "Trying to kill her wasn't part of the plan," he snarled through his teeth. "I told you specifically to form a way for her to come to me, not the other way around and most surely not to involve my death!"
Pansy smirked and took a step towards him. "Let's just say that you got what you wanted, which was to be in contact with this vermin, and for me to at least view her near death."
She grabbed his chin and made him face her. Draco grabbed her wrist and squeezed it hard. If there was pain running through her hand, she made no sign of showing it. "We made a deal Malfoy. You wanted to ruin Ms. Granger over there and asked me to help you. I said yes, only if you were mine."
"You're mistaking my words from the other night," Draco hissed. "I said that I would do anything you want for one night. Emphasize on the word one, Pansy."
"You know what I want Draco Malfoy," Pansy said seductively.
Draco licked his lips and sighed. He turned Pansy around; her back to the wall and kissed her. No feeling came from kissing her. He didn't feel the same way when Pansy placed her hands around his neck. But he let her think that he did, he had seventeen years' worth of false pretense. The kissing became steamier but Draco felt disgusted with her.
Hermione picked herself up as she heard the bell ring. She quickly picked up her bag and ran around the same corner Draco went. She stopped dead and watched Draco kiss Pansy passionately. He was moving his hands all around her body and she was doing to same. Hermione felt sick to her stomach watching this. She wanted to leave, run away, and forget that she even knew Malfoy but her feet were glued to the floor. Tears streamed down her face.
Draco stopped kissing Pansy when he heard other students' voices. "The rest will come tonight," he said while wiping his lips with the back of his palm. Draco turned the other direction and walked away without looking back.
Pansy fixed her coat and saw Hermione staring at her with fresh tears on her cheeks. A smile formed on Pansy's face and she walked to Hermione.
"He's mine Mudblood, not yours." Pansy shoved Hermione by her shoulder and walked away.
Hermione still couldn't move. People began to crowd around her, asking her what happened to her head but she gave no reply. She just watched her world fall apart in a matter of minutes.