CHAPTER 7

NOT FUNNY YOU ARE!

"AHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Yoda screamed the same time the peeping Tom did."AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

The Jedi Master fell over.

"Wai!" the thing said. "Why are we screaming?"

"Why you're screaming I do not know," Yoda said from the floor, staring up at the thing. "Scared me because you did."

"What?" the thing asked, climbing in the window. "What did you say?"

"Scared me you did." Yoda said again.

"Is there something wrong with your grammer?" the thing asked, coming into the light.

Yoda saw it was a big brown bear wearing a brown cloak, a hat, and a tie. "Ewok!" the Jedi Master screamed. "Ewok you are!"

"What's an Ewok?" the bear asked.

"YOU!" Yoda exclaimed, scrambling to his feet. " Get here Ewok how did you?"

"Uh...," the bear 'Ewok' scratched his head. "Could you repeat the question in English please?"

"Get here how did you?" Yoda said again.

"What? Could you please repeat that again. Slower..."

Yoda rolled his eyes and said perfectly. "How did you get here?"

"I came here on a starship thing."

"Really?"

"Yeah."

"You are who?"

"Um..."

"Who are you?"

"Oh," Darth Fozzy grinned. "I am..."

A spot light appeared and centered on him. A piano played in the background and the bear started to tap dance. "I am Fozzy Bear!" he sang. "The greatest comedian in the universe!"

Yoda wacked him down with his walking stick. "Comedian you are?" he asked. "Show me you will."

"You want me to tell you a joke?"

"Yes."

Darth Fozzy got up and thought a moment.

"Uhhh... why did the chicken cross the road?"

Yoda didn't answer.

"To get to the other side! Waka waka waka!"

Yoda stared at him then shook his head. "Funny that was not."

Darth Fozzy thought a moment. "Umm.. Why did the skydivers parashoot fall off him?"

"Because he forgot to record!"

Yoda said nothing then yelled. "Funny you are not! Stupid those jokes were! Get out of here!" he started to chase the bear around his room.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Darth Fozzy screamed.

"Out of here now get!" Yoda shrieked, chasing the bear into the hall.

Darth Fozzy ran down the hall in total panic. He ran as fast as he could but somehow Yoda was about to keep up with him. "He sure runs fast for an old geezer," the bear said out loud.

"Oh geezer think I am?"

WOM! WOM! Yoda's green lightsaber swung over Darth Fozzy's head.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Obi-Wan stepped out of his room then. He had been awakened by the noise. He looked up just in time to see something brown come flying at him.

"OOOF!" the Jedi exclaimed, as the thing ran into him knocking over.

"Sorry," said the thing.

"What?" Obi-Wan opened his eyes. He saw that the thing that ran into him was a brown bear. "Who in the Force are you!" he asked.

"Umm.. I'm a bear," the thing replied. "My names Fozzy. Fozzy Bear."

"Huh?"

"Ewok!" a voice shouted.

Darth Fozzy looked over his shoulder. He saw Master Yoda, his lightsaber still on, coming down at him from a flying leap. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" the bear screamed flailing his arms as he climbed over Obi-Wan.

"Hey!" the man shouted, pushing the bear off of him. "What's the big idea?"

Just then he saw Master Yoda coming down at him with that lightsaber. "Oh boy!" he exclaimed.

The instant before Yoda's lightsaber would have cut him in half he pulled out his own and blocked it. Yoda landed on top of him. "What do you think you're doing?" Obi-Wan demanded reaching up and yanking the old Master's lightsaber away.

Yoda blinked. "Seen an unfunny Ewok have you?" he asked.

"Ewok?" the human Jedi said. "No, there are no Ewoks here."

"Yes there is," Yoda said standing on Obi-Wan's chest. "Saw one I did. Think's he's funny he does. Lame jokes he told me. Kill him I must."

"Wafor?"

"Made fun of my grammer he did."

The human Jedi raised an eyebrow. "Oh really?"

Yoda nodded, his big ears drooping. "Being made fun of I do not like."

"Well...Uh.. Maybe you were talking too fast..."

Yoda got right in Obi-Wan's face. "Think I talk fast do you?" he asked.

"Uhh...no... maybe... sometimes..."

Yoda let Obi-wan go. "Right you are," he agreed. 'Talk fast sometimes I do. " The old Master looked around. "Where did that Ewok go?"

Obi-Wan also looked around. "I don't know."

Yoda retrieved his lightsaber. 'Let's go," he said. "Find it we must."

Mace Windu stood in front of his bathroom mirror staring at his face. "Man, this acne will never go away," he whined. "How am I ever going to get as cool and popular as Anakin if I keep getting these breakouts?"

He walked away from the mirror. "Now where did I put my Noxima?"

Just as he walked away Darth Fozzy (who somehow got into the ventalation system) popped his head out of the vent just under the bathroom sink. "Phew!" he sighed in relief. "I think I lost that crazy frog...Now I can get out of here," he started to climb out of the vent but soon found out his body wouldn't let him. "I'm STUCK!" he exclaimed.

Mace came back into the mirror with the acne cream. He didn't notice Fozzy's head sticking out of the vent until he looked up at the mirror. "Hmm...Huh? Since when do I grow a beard this fast!" he said looking in the mirror. "And when did I start looking like a bear?"

Then his reflection spoke!

"Excuse me," it said. "Could you help me out of here, please?"

Mace blinked then let out a loud. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Yoda and Obi-Wan heard the scream from all the way down the hall.

"What was that?" Obi-Wan asked.

"Sounded like Master Windu it did," Yoda said. "In trouble he must be. Go to him now we should."

They ran down the hall.

When they reached Mace's room they burst through the door.

"Hey Mace!" Obi-Wan called. "What's wrong!"

Mace Windu came out of the bathroom his face white as a sheet. "My mirror just spoke to me!" he gasped. "It's been possesed!"

Yoda and Obi-Wan ran into the bathroom. What they saw in there made them burst out laughing.

They saw Darth Fozzy's head sticking out of the vent!

Hope that was funny. Sorry this chapter was so short. I promise the next one will be longer.