Erza paces back forth on the dock behind the guild hall, trying to call herself down. Why should she feel like this? She and Jellal have talked about their relationship before…right? Erza scrambles to remember how they finally got together in the first place, groaning when she remembers that it didn't involve talking at all.

18 months ago

They did it!

Acnologia is defeated; the Dragon Slayers have been returned; everyone is okay.

Erza pushes her way through the jubilant crowd and back toward the shore, where Jellal is holding a bawling Kagura. Erza keeps her distance, not wanting to disturb whatever's happening, but also ready to jump in should Kagura change her mind and try to kill Jellal again. It is several minutes before Kagura settles down and pulls back from Jellal, wiping her eyes.

"I'm so sorry!"

"I am the one who is sorry," Jellal replies. "I will never forget Simon, nor what I did to him."

"He died to save the one he loved. You love her, too, don't you?" She looks at Jellal, who averts his gaze and blushes. "Then take care of her like my brother would have. Live for him." She kisses Jellal's forehead, and before running off to her guild, smirks and says, "Starting now."

Jellal looks confused for a moment, then notices Erza. He smiles, struggles to his feet, and walks over to her.

Erza's heart is nearly beating out of her chest. She is more nervous than during the battle. She might actually pass out! Why, cruel Fate? Why, when she has finally decided to take action?

Jellal frowns as he gets closer to her, rips the sleeve off of his shirt, then grabs her by the arm. He ties the sleeve around her upper arm, saying, "You're losing a lot of blood, Erza. We should get you –."

Erza kisses him. She kisses him the way she's wanted to nearly her whole life. She kisses him like she might never have the chance again, because, hey–she might not.

Everything went black after that.

Erza goes completely still on the dock; she doesn't even breath.

He didn't say it, she thinks. He didn't say anything when Kagura asked him if he loved me. Has he ever said it?!

Erza tries to remember the last time he said, "I love you, Erza." She can't remember. He must have said it sometime! Why else would she stay with him for so long?

You had what you wanted and you never stopped to ask if he did, too.

Her knees wobble and she nearly falls.

Screw this.

Erza strengthens her resolve, in turn strengthening her body. She walks into the guild hall, determined to have a good time with her friends until Jellal arrives, and determined to have a good time after, no matter what happens. One thing she has realized is that Gray has some good points, even if his conclusions might be flawed: Jellal does not communicate with Erza as often as she wants, nor does he spend as much time with her as she wants. Both of those things have made Erza behave differently for Jellal in an unconscious attempt to get his attention, instead of just outright telling Jella what she needs from him. So Erza resolves to have a straightforward conversation with Jellal, and to be outcome independent about it; she has her needs, but if they can't or won't be met by Jellal, her life isn't over.

"Erza!" Levy leaves Jet and Droy at their table to run over to the redhead. Quietly, Levy says, "I am so sorry!"

"I appreciate your apology, Levy. Accepted."

"Great! You wanna eat with Team Shadowgear?"

"I'd love to."

"Kiwi, Miss Erza?" Pantherlily offers as Levy and Erza take a seat.

"No, thank you, Lily. Where is Gajeel?" Erza looks around the guild hall and can't see him anywhere.

Levy, Jet, and Droy all groan, and Lily just chuckles. "He has gone on a mission with the other Dragon Slayers."

"I don't think I heard you right." Erza says, lowering her head to be closer to Lily.

"He is on a mission with the other Dragon Slayers."

"On purpose?"

"Yes," Lily laughs, "on purpose."

"Wow. What kind of mission could possibly get the four of them to work together?"

"Four?" Levy asks.

"Laxus, Natsu, Gajeel, and Wendy. You said the Dragon Slayers, correct?"

"As far as I know," Pantherlily says, "Wendy is not with them. I believe she is visiting Shellia at Lamia Scale."

"That's troubling; she is the only one who works well with each of them, and has the best chance at keeping them all from killing each other."

"I hadn't thought about that." Levy says worriedly.

"They will be fine," Lily assures them. "I am positive that their mission is more important to them than any feud that may arise."

"What's their mission?" Erza asks.

"Look at that," Lily looks at the cuff on his wrist, which does not contain a watch, "time for me to go."

He flies off before Erza can grab him and force him to tell her.

"What was that about?" Erza smacks the table.

"He won't tell us, either." Levy says. "So…you have any plans tonight?"

"Crime Sorciére will be here soon; I'm sure an inter-guild party will get started soon after." Erza smiles.

As if on cue, Crime Sorciére enters the guild hall.

"Love!" Richard shouts.

"Give it a rest." Macbeth says lazily.

Erza's gut churns with anger, betrayal, and disappointment: Jellal isn't here. So now she has an answer. She slams a butter knife halfway into the wooden table and storms out the back of the guild hall.

So much for being outcome independent.

"She is not happy," Erik steps next to Meredy at the entrance of the guild.

"What did she think?"

"Words I've never heard her think before."

"Shit."

"Yep, that was one of 'em; preceded by 'little piece of,'" he chuckles.

"This isn't funny, Erik! Jellal could lose her!"

"Nah; she's head-over-heels for him. She's just upset that she can't jump his bones now…my thoughts, not hers," he adds at Meredy's look of shock.

"You perv! You know he hasn't been right for weeks, even if he has figured out how to stop you from reading his mind."

Erik pouts at this comment and crosses his arms petulantly.

"We can't let whatever is making him act so strange break up him and Erza! They must! be! together!" Meredy shakes Erik by his collar.

"Why do you care so much?"

"Because they're Jellal and Erza! Erza and Jellal! Jerza!"

"You did not just combine their names like celebrities."

"You bet your ass I did! Where did she go?"

"She didn't think that."

Meredy groans and pinches the bridge of her nose. "Wherever Jellal is, he'd better get his shit together soon."

"A-choo!" Jellal sneezes.

"Oh, no!" Juvia says. "I've given you a cold."

"Don't worry about me, Juvia. I feel fine."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

They walk silently together, watching the Dragon Slayers up ahead of them as they all head back toward the train station.

"Jellal. Did…did Gray actually say that he loves Erza?" Juvia asks timidly.

"Yes." Jellal says quietly.

"Oh. And…and you really tried to kill him?"

"Yes."

Juvia notices the Dragon Slayers tense up and turn their heads slightly, presumably in anticipation of her attacking Jellal. Yet, she feels no antipathy toward the man. It is strange, feeling this detached from the life of the one she's been obsessing over for so many years. She wonders if this signals some sort of growth on her part, or if it just means that she never really cared about Gray as a person, only as a possession. She hopes the former, but can easily see the case to be made for the latter.

"Why didn't you?" She asks.

Jellal sighs, and looks at Juvia for a moment. "You were at the Tower of Heaven; you saw what a monster I had allowed myself to become because of my hatred."

"You were possessed," Juvia points out.

"And I'm not now. If I had murdered Gray, it would have meant that the monster has always been me. Not to mention that I would not only lose Erza, but she would insist on being the one to take my life; I couldn't do that to her."

"You are a good man, Jellal."

"A good man wouldn't even have thought of killing him."

"Listen here, runt." Laxus appears suddenly, grabbing Jellal by the collar and lifting him off his feet.

"LAXUS!" Everyone shouts, but no one steps in just yet.

"I'm sick and tired of your bitchin' and moanin'. Every man, good or bad, would have thought of killing him. Only a perfect man wouldn't have, and no one is perfect. This world is an imperfect place, and you will never make it perfect, understood? The more you try, the more miserable you'll be, which means Titania will be miserable, which means Lucy will be miserable. And anyone who makes Lucy miserable will face my fuckin' wrath, got it?"

Everyone stands by tensely, prepared to either fight or take flight, depending on how serious the magic gets.

"Is Erza really that terrible to be around when she's mad at me?" Jellal asks after what feels like an eternity.

"She's a fuckin' barbarian!" Laxus cries.

"True dat." Natsu nods vehemently, making everyone giggle, and breaking the tension.

Jellal smirks. "I guess I'd better learn to accept that I'm not perfect, then."

"Thank Mavis." Laxus releases Jellal unceremoniously, and the blue-haired mage nearly loses his footing. "I was ready to strangle the emo right out of you."

"Here, here!" Gajeel shouts.

"Aye!" Natsu and Happy nod their heads.

"Frosch, too."

Jellal blushes and runs his hand through his hair.

"Well, stop gawking at him already." Juvia runs interference for him. "We have a train to catch!"

"Thank you." Jellal tells her as everyone continues toward the station.

"You're welcome."

"You know, you're the last person I thought would be kind to me. I thought you–"

"I did…do," she admits with a sigh. "But he doesn't belong to me. I realize now that I can't make him love me, and if I love him, I'd want him to be happy, even without me."

Jellal makes a strange noise, but Juvia doesn't hear.

"How blind I was, so worried about Lucy as my love-rival, I never even considered Erza. If anyone were to go after Erza, I would have guessed Natsu."

"Natsu?!" Everyone rounds on her.

"It isn't so far-fetched!" Juvia says defensively. "He pretended to be her to save her from the Magic Council; she saved him in the battle against Aria when Phantom Lord attacked; he refused to abandon her to you–the former you," she looks at Jellal, "in the Tower of Heaven; he–"

"You've made your point." Jellal says, giving Natsu a suspicious glare.

"Erza's my teammate." Natsu shrugs matter-of-factly. "Of course I was always there for her. I caught Lucy after she jumped out of Phantom Lord's tower, too, but I'm not in love with her, either."

"She did what?!" Everyone, especially Juvia and Gajeel, round on Natsu this time.

"Yeah. Jose was keeping her in the tower, and she decided it was better to jump. But only because she saw me comin' up the path!" He hastens to say when he sees the looks of horror on Gajeel and Juvia's faces. "She knew I would catch her. Come on, we gotta get to the station!"

Once again, they are off. Jellal and Juvia walk silently for a few minutes, then Jellal looks up at the dark sky and asks,

"How do you control the weather so effortlessly?"

"I don't. It just is." She shrugs, and after a moment, says, "I never saw blue sky before Gray. I thought he was my soul mate." She shakes her head and looks up at the dark gray sky above them and a tear trickles from her eye. "I wonder if I'll ever see it again."

"Listen here, you two gloomy gus-es." Gajeel turns around and jumps in front of Juvia and Jellal.

"Gloomy?" Juvia whimpers.

"You heard me, Rain Woman: gloomy. Watcha gonna do about it?"

"Uh, I–"

"Lay off her, Gajeel," Laxus growls.

"You don't like bein' called gloomy?" Gajeel demands an answer.

"N-no."

"I can't hear you!"

"Gajeel." Natsu warns.

"No." Juvia says a little more firmly.

"What was that?"

"Gajeel, come on man." Sting interrupts.

Gajeel continues glaring at Juvia.

"NO!" She finally shouts.

"Why not?"

"Because I'm not gloomy! Not anymore!"

"Ha! Prove it!"

"I'm Juvia-fuckin'-Locksar! The Rain Woman! I belong to Fairy Tail, and I am powerful enough to protect my friends! The mighty 'Black Steel' Gajeel–" she pokes him hard in the chest, "–refuses to fight me." This draws an eye tick from Gajeel, but he keeps his mouth shut. "I have nothing to be gloomy about! So why don't you–"

She stops poking Gajeel in the chest to look up at the sky. The blue sky. The sunny, bright blue sky. Juvia covers her mouth with her hands, and tears run down her face, but she is laughing.

"I did it!" She grins at Gajeel.

"Told ya ya could." Gajeel says proudly, giving her boogies again. "Now, can you two puh-lease find some other way of bonding besides your angst?"

Juvia laughs, a full, from-the-belly kind of laugh, that makes everyone else join in.

"We were being kind of petty, weren't we?"

"We apologize." Jellal bows his head.

"Yo!" Rogue rolls his eyes. "As stupid as it is that five Dragon Slayers are anxious to get on a moving vehicle, we have a train to catch!"

Erza walked around the lake for almost two hours, though she can't figure out why: she always ends up in the same spot next to the river. Ever since she joined Fairy Tail, this has been her spot. Somehow, this spot hasn't attracted anyone else, and every time she comes here, she finds solitude. Her walk around the lake had been anger-fueled and indignant, but now that she is in her spot, her buried feelings rise to the surface with her tears.

What a fool she has been. She can see it all now, from always walking away from her, to evading Kagura's question, to his unease at the wedding reception, to leaving her without a word, and not showing up with the rest of his guild today: he never loved her. That's not true; she is certain that he loves her. He just isn't in love with her. She should have figured that no man could date a woman he's in love with for a year and a half and not sleep with her.

Erza groans at her stupidity, dropping her head between her knees. Sure, they had kissed and made-out, but he had always kept it PG. It was infuriating! When she confronted him about it, he told her that he was old-fashioned, then distracted her ire with strawberry cheesecake. She had to admit that she always had fun with him when he was around. He always had something for them to do, somewhere for them to be; he made sure that they made the most out of their time together. She just wished that had included sex, too, dammit!

It appears it was for the best, though. She would undoubtedly be taking this whole situation a lot worse if she had slept with him. At least he was gentleman enough to not satisfy his needs with her when he knew it would have meant so much more to her than to him. Her heart clenches as she wonders who has been satisfying his needs. Surely, someone; he is a man, after all. The idea makes her want to die.

She is struck with the thought of Simon, and Kagura's imperative to Jellal: to take care of Erza the way Simon would have. Has all of this been some misplaced attempt at honoring Simon, and Kagura's request? Could Jellal have been so deluded as to think that lying to her, playing with her heart like this, is what Simon would have wanted? Is what she wants?

Erza tries to fight the sobs. Her body shakes, tears fall down her face, but she makes no noise until she feels a familiar arm wrap around her shoulders. She cries out then, because there's only one other person who knows about this place, and he's come to console her instead of to gloat.

"Gray–"

"Sshhh," he coos, squeezing her closer to him. "Don't worry about me."

She's not sure how long she cries, only that the sun has nearly set when she runs out of tears. When she finally sits up, Gray is holding out a handkerchief to her. She laughs and calls him an old man before wiping her tears and blowing her nose.

"Thank you."

"Any time."

"I owe you another broadsword."

"What for?"

"For dismissing you, when all you did was tell me the truth."

Gray sighs, and grits his teeth, but says, "Maybe not."

"What do you mean?"

"Look, Erza," he takes a deep breath as he turns to face her head on. "I love you. I'm in love with you. For years."

Erza's heart pounds furiously, and feels like it has lodged in her throat. Her forehead breaks out in sweat, and she scrambles for something to say. Fortunately, Gray continues,

"I don't like Jellal, but I have to admit when I'm wrong, 'cause if I have any chance at swaying you, I want it to be clean. I don't want you to have any doubts."

"I don't understand."

"I can see now that I let my hatred of Jellal, and my love for you, blind me to some things. Like, he's the poorest person I know, and he probably doesn't feel like he can settle down until he can offer you something."

"That's ridi–"

"It isn't, though, Erza. Even with a woman like you–actually, especially with a woman like you–who is his equal, and often his better, any decent man wants to feel like he's contributing to the relationship."

"What relationship?!" Erza punches the ground. "He's not even here!"

"About that," Gray blushes sheepishly. "I think it's my fault."

"How?"

"You remember the wedding reception?"

"Not well," she admits.

Gray chuckles. "Me, neither. But what I do remember is that I had some sort of confrontation with Jellal over you."

"Wha–what?" She gasps.

"I don't remember much, just that it happened."

That explains everything!

Erza sighs and shakes her head. "That only explains the last couple of weeks; there's so much more."

"I'm not going to try to talk you out of whatever that is–I am trying to win you over, after all," he winks at her good-naturedly, making her relax, and laugh a little. "But, I want to win you over fair and square, not because I may have–accidentally, of course–planted untrue doubts in your mind about your boyfriend."

"You're my best friend," she says emotionally after a few moments. Gray smiles at her, brushing some hair off her cheek. "You told me things no one else was willing to say. And I think they're true."

"I'm sorry," he says sincerely. "For your sake, I wish they weren't. I want you to be happy, Erza, even if it's not with me. Even if it's with that Smurf. In fact, I'll go find him and drag him here if that will make you feel better."

Erza searches Gray's eyes for any hint of deceit or manipulation, but can find none. That fact shouldn't make her want to cry, but it does.

"Why are you such a good man?" She tries to laugh, but it comes out closer to a sob.

"Because of you." He says simply.

Erza stares at him wonderingly, blood pounding in her ears as she contemplates the unthinkable. Her eyes move to his mouth, and she starts to lean forward.

"Erza." Gray puts his hands on her shoulders and gently pushes her away from him. "That'll only confuse you."

"It could un-confuse me." She says softly.

Gray gulps, and shakes his head, but his left hand tangles into her hair and pulls her a little closer. "Erza…"

"Gray." Erza raises an eyebrow at him.

"You should really talk to Jellal first."

"Why?" She hisses. "He never talks to me!"

"That only makes him a man, not someone who doesn't love you."

Erza scoffs.

"Our friendship can survive everything we've put it through since yesterday. It can even survive my confession of love. It won't survive even a kiss under these uncertain circumstances. If we're both wrong, and Jellal is in love with you, you'll regret this kiss, and start to hate me for making you doubt." He releases her hair and pushes her a little farther away. "I would die if you hated me."

Erza sighs and turns back to the river. What if Jellal does love her? What if he wants to give her everything she's ever dreamed of? What if they are going to live happily ever after? Is that still what she wants? Is Jellal still who she wants? She knows that she and Gray are nearly-perfectly compatible; she could easily be happy with him.

Not as happy as with Jellal.

You've never allowed yourself to be in love with anyone but Jellal. Gray could probably make you just as happy, if you were to let him.

"Gray," Erza's voice cracks, so she clears her throat and says again, "Gray?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you believe in soul mates?"

"Not even a little."

"Then why are you fighting for me?"

"Because I love you. I chose to love you. I never had the guts to say it 'til now, and I know I may be too late. I just couldn't let you continue pining over him, thinking he's all you've got. I'm here for you Erza; as your best friend if you choose Jellal...as more, if you don't."

Erza is breathless. How has she had this man in her life for so long and never realized who he is, and who he could be to her? Why did he wait so long to confess?

I don't care! I'm in love with Jellal.

Whom you believe is not in love with you, dipstick.

"Gray, I'm in love with Jellal. I know I am, all the way into my bones. And...and I'm glad you told me how you feel. I'm glad to know you're in my corner."

"No matter what."

"I do love you." Erza kisses his cheek. "Maybe one day, I'll be in love with you, too."

"I'm crossing my fingers." He grins at her.

I apologize for the long chapter; there just weren't any good breaks, and deletions weren't happening. Also, I apologize for the Grayza scene; it makes me feel like a dirty, guilty betrayer, but it couldn't be helped. Just remember, this really is a JERZA fan fic, even though it doesn't seem like it.