Thanks again for your lovely comments my friends, I'm so glad you are enjoying the story :=)

Hope you like this chapter!

...

Esposito and Ryan arrived at the hospital just as Lanie was leaving. Lanie and Beckett briefed them on Castle's situation. The boys were surprised at first, and then pissed off that they would never have the opportunity to sue Lerlyn Magetti for what she had done to their friend.

"Guys, being angry at the world is not going to do Castle any favors, OK?" Beckett sighed as she crouched in front of the two men who were sitting on those damn unaccommodating hospital waiting room chairs. "What we need to do for Castle now is be supportive. Patience guys, patience is the best thing we can offer him right now."

Ryan and Esposito shared a look. Both men sighed and then slowly nodded.

Beckett gave each of their knees a friendly pat and stood up. "So come on, let me introduce you to Richard Alexander Edgar Castle Rodgers."

The three of them walked to Castle's room feeling very nervous. When they got there, it seemed for a moment that the old Castle might have come back to them, because he was chatting up a young nurse with blonde hair and a pen in her hand. He had one of those grins on his face that he usually wore for pretty young women at his book signings.

When he saw Beckett and the boys enter the room, he turned his attention away from the nurse and his eyes instantly locked on Beckett's.

"Hey, you're back! And you've brought...people that I don't know, but I'm assuming I should."

Beckett smiled. "Castle, these are our workmates, they work with us every day, they're my team. Kevin Ryan and Javier Esposito."

Esposito stepped forward and shook Castle's hand. "Hey bro."

Ryan looked uncomfortable, and he swallowed a lump in his throat. "M-Mr. Rodgers." Ryan still felt a strong sense of guilt for putting Castle in the crosshairs that lead to him being in this position.

"Hey Kevin... it's Kevin, right?" Castle said, reaching up to touch him on the back.

"Y-yes", Ryan spluttered.

"You know, I don't know you from Larry. But I do know my twenty one year old self, and he would offer a hug to a guy when he could see he was in need of one, now... would you like a hug, Kevin Ryan?"

Ryan pursed his lips, he tried to resist, but the man was just so damn charming!

"Yeah", he said like a child.

Ryan and Castle shared an awkward one armed guy-hug.

"There you go, Kevin... feel better? I know you do", Castle cooed.

Ryan smiled like a little kid. "Yeah, thanks."

"Oh you're welcome Kevin, and hey, there's more where that came from, whenever you need it", Castle beamed.

Ryan turned around to be greeted with Esposito shaking his head and giving him an odd look.

"So Castle, you really don't remember us?" Esposito gave him a faux hurt look.

"Well don't take it personally Javier, I'm sure you're very memorable."

Beckett covered her mouth, trying not to laugh.

"But really, the last thing I remember is being in college. I can remember my childhood. I had a really good childhood. Where is my mother by the way?"

"Um, she's in Alaska", Beckett muttered.

"Alaska! What, did she marry an eskimo?"

"No", Beckett giggled. Wait - she giggled? Why was she suddenly so delirious whenever she was around him? "No, she was visiting an old friend of hers there and then got stuck in a snow storm."

"Snow storm? Is it winter? Oh man, did I miss Christmas?" Castle practically bounced out of bed with excitableness.

"Afraid so, but don't worry, you got everyone gifts", Beckett told him.

"Yeah and we already got yours too, so don't even think about asking for more. We're on cop's wages here", Esposito told him.

"What did I get you all?" Castle asked them, his childlike side coming out to play.

"You got Jenny and I a beautiful fondue set that Jenny uses practically every day. Man, I tell ya, you haven't tasted swiss cheese until it's come from Jenny's kitchen. All the other stuff is a lie", Ryan grinned.

"Classic", Castle nodded. "What else?"

"Ah, well you got me some new threads that I've been wanting for like ever. Proper cotton pants. We never got anything like these bad boys in the special forces", he told Castle. "Sooo warm", he purred.

"Mm. What about you Kate? What did I get you? Gift of friendship?"

"And more", Beckett told him before winking at him.

"More than friendship?" Castle smirked back.

Ryan and Esposito shared an amused glance.

Beckett coughed. "More in terms of a gift, I mean."

Castle eyed her up. "Riiight. So what could I possibly have purchased that would meet your discerning tastes Miss Detective Lady?"

Beckett narrowed her eyes at him.

Castle gasped. "Victoria's secret, right?"

Behind Beckett, Ryan and Esposito snorted.

"In your dreams", Beckett said with an eye roll.

"You bet in my dreams", Castle told her with a look so serious that she almost dropped to her knees.

"So not skimpy underwear... jewelry?" Castle narrowed his eyes in question.

Beckett shook her head.

"Well then what did I buy you? Come on Kate don't leave me guessing, my brain is already sore", Castle whined.

Beckett took pity on him, but she didn't tell him the whole truth. What she said to him though, she said in a very sincere tone of voice. "It wasn't something you bought me. It was something you brought me."

Castle looked at her, intrigued. "And what did I bring you?"

She smiled down at him. "Some peace."

The genuinely grateful smile she was giving him told him that he would be insensitive to joke about it, or keep probing. So he stopped pushing, for which Beckett was grateful.

"So I'm guessing I missed New Years too then."

"Yeah and last year went so quick too", Beckett said.

"Yeah, feels like I blinked and missed it", Esposito reiterated.

Castle scoffed. "Try blinking and missing twenty."

The three detectives shifted uncomfortably.

"What year is it now anyway?"

"Two thousand and twelve."

"Two thousand? I missed the millennium? Oh man! I guess the whole millennium bug thing didn't happen then? Damn."

The three cops looked at each other.

"Well, don't worry bro, the Mayans reckon twenty twelve is going to be the end of the world, so we've got that to look forward to now", Esposito told him with a chuckle.

Ryan held a hand up in front of his partner. "Don't even joke."

"Anyway...", Beckett interrupted, changing the subject before an argument had the opportunity to ensue. "End of the world or not, one thing is certain, and that is that for every day leading up to it, there will be a murder to solve, and right now three of New York's best detectives are in this room when they should be out there solving a fresh one."

"Yeah, you're right, we just wanted to come by, see if there was anything we could do to help."

Beckett nodded. "I appreciate that", she gave Esposito a smile. "Thank you Javi."

Esposito gave her a hug. "I got you girl, and I got your boy." He pulled away to look into her eyes. "He doesn't know anything about you. Look, there are no lingering doubts about waiting for you to solve your mom's case anymore, and I know that you are trying to let go of those doubts yourself so... give him a chance, give it a shot girl, you deserve it, he makes you happy, so go be happy for once."

Beckett swallowed. The latino detective was right, Castle didn't know about her mom's case, he didn't know about that wall she had inside that had begun to crumble when he took her to his bed that night a week before when a sniper had infiltrated the precinct. Now was her chance to make an important decision. Would she tell him everything? Or would she keep it from him, choosing to hurdle the wall and run away with him across the plains of a new life?

"See you back at the precinct, Beckett", Ryan gave the female detective a hug.

Beckett lowered her voice to speak to him. "Yeah, um... listen Ry I don't know if I'll be back to the precinct for a while. Gates might screw my neck and bury me in the woods of traffic violations but Castle needs someone and, I think the one he needs... is me", Beckett shook her head at herself, conflicted by so many emotions.

Ryan smiled. "if that's what you need to do, then you take the rest of your life", Ryan winked at her and followed his partner out.

Beckett turned back to her own partner and paused for a moment, watching him futilely try and untangle the chord of his call button.

She thought about Johanna and how Dr. Burke had been helping her to see that she could never let her Mom down. And then lately, when she'd been thinking about Johanna; even before Castle's stabbing, all Beckett could see was her favorite writer. Now, the thing she most wished for in the world, second to Castle's love, was for her mother and Castle to meet. She knew it wasn't possible of course, but some nights she would dream of them all having dinner together, where Beckett and Castle would hold hands beneath the table, and Johanna and Jim would laugh at Castle's anecdotes, and Johanna would catch her daughter's eye across the dinner table, and she would know that her Katie was happy and very much in love.

Beckett took a step toward his bed and sat down on it, making his head snap up. Beckett gave him a warm smile. "Here, let me help you with that." Gently, she prized the chord from his hand. He was gawking at her with his mouth hanging open slightly. She chuckled at the dumb look on his face. He closed his mouth and grinned sheepishly.

"Kate?" Castle drawled out, sounding ominous.

"Mhm", she said, her tongue poking out slightly between her lips as she concentrated on the chord.

"Have we ever kissed?"

Her fingers fumbled and she dropped the call button to the floor with a crack. She looked up at him, her mouth the one hanging open now. She managed to regain composure, despite his dazzling blue eyes piercing into her resolve.

She inhaled "Yes we have."

His eyebrow raised. He sat himself up in his bed, looking intrigued.

"This kissing that we do..." Castle began.

Beckett resisted the urge to roll her eyes.

"Is this a usual occurrence?"

"No..." Beckett drawled out the word. She had meant to make it sound so final, but evidently she failed miserably.

"Well how many times have we kissed?" Castle asked her, his eyes sparkling with playfulness but his voice low and serious.

Beckett had to think for a moment. "Three. Three times."

He raised his eyebrow, encouraging her to continue. She sighed and spoke quickly. "First time, it wasn't technically us kissing, I mean I didn't really participate in it... you kissed me on the cheek, caught me by surprise, so I didn't really get a say in the matter."

Castle wasn't buying it.

"The second time..." Beckett's voice caught in her throat. "The second time we kissed while undercover, to distract a bullish looking guard. Again, you caught me with my defenses down, I wasn't exactly sure what was going on at the time, and I wasn't willing to jeopardize the op or Ryan and Esposito's lives, who were being detained and tortured, by the way; so I just went with it."

Castle definitely was buying that.

Beckett stopped to take a breath.

"And the third time?" Castle pushed.

Beckett stared at him, her eyes showed what looked a little like fear. "The third time was a week ago. Just before you were stabbed."

Castle swallowed, his eyes were now as serious as his tone. "And was that me catching you by surprise again?"

Beckett shook her head, she was so close to him, it was making her dizzy. "No. I initiated it."

Castle's mouth twitched, almost into a smile. "Why?"

Beckett sighed. "I was scared I was going to lose you."

Castle shook his head and reached out with his good arm to stroke Beckett's cheek with his thumb. "You may feel like you've lost me at the moment. But I'm still here." Beckett bowed her head, Castle reached down to gently lift her chin. "I'm still here, Kate."

Beckett's brow furrowed. How was he connecting to her like this? He wasn't just talking to her in this way because she was beautiful (that nurse before was blonde and not lacking in top-heaviness) There had to be something familiar that he sensed from her presence.

"Castle-"

"-Rick. My name is Rick. That name is foreign to me, it doesn't sound right. It would be like me calling you Castle."

Beckett bit her lip and blushed.

Castle's expression mirrored hers as he realized what he'd implied. He took her hand in his "Look, does it make you uncomfortable when I call you Kate?"

Beckett's eyebrow lifted as often it did when she smiled at him. "No, it makes me feel... more than comfortable actually. It makes me feel safe."

He smiled back. "People calling me Castle makes me feel insecure somehow. Like I've lost my own identity. This whole not knowing who I am thing is damn upsetting, you know? Do you have any idea what it's like to go through a traumatic event and not be able to remember it after?"

Beckett inhaled sharply and shook her head. "No, I don't."

"Let alone anything else from the past twenty years of your life", Castle continued. "So you see, all the other things might have changed. My whole life has been altered in what seems to me like overnight. But at least Rick is still there, at least some part of me is still the same man."

Beckett shook her head and palmed his face. "But you're not the same man at all. You're a much better one."

That jolt of undeniable electricity sparked between them again. Both could feel it, one for reasons he could not explain, the other, for reasons she knew all too well. Nevertheless, the connection was undeniable and both knew that fulfilling that connection, sating the hunger each felt would be too delicious to the senses to deny.

Beckett leaned forward to meet his parted lips and gave him a very chaste kiss. Obviously more chaste than he was expecting, as he was left with his mouth hanging open when she pulled back to look at him.

Beckett patted his cheek, in an attempt to rouse him from his daze. "Rick?"

Castle's eyes flickered open. An immeasurably large smile dressed his face, making it glow. "You called me Rick."

"I did."

"Does this mean this whole kissing thing might just become a more regular occurrence after all?" Castle asked with an impish grin.

Beckett narrowed her eyes at him.

Castle chuckled. "I guess I'll just take the first name for now."

Beckett couldn't help but laugh with along him.

"Maybe I should call you Castle", Castle told her.

She stopped laughing at once. "Why? What? Why?" She spluttered.

Castle shrugged. "Well I know that I'm impulsive, but that was just so... out of the blue."

Beckett smirked. "Out of the blue like some kind of a shark attack?"

Castle leaned forward so that their noses were touching. "Out of the blue like some kind of an angel."

Beckett sighed, and closed her eyes, feeling his warm forehead resting against hers. She reached her hand up to cup his face again.

"Hey Kate?"

"Yeah?" Beckett stroked his cheek with her thumb.

"Am I a good father?"

Beckett tilted her head to one side, studying him, slightly taken aback. "Oh Cas-Rick. You are a terrific father to Alexis. You two are like peas in a pod. Seriously, you're best friends with her. Nothing and no one could shake the bond between you two."

"I'm just so unsure about the whole parenting thing. They say that when a baby comes into your life, you just instantly form a connection to them, but is it the same with a teenager?"

Beckett gave him a tender look. "That's what you're going to spend the next little while finding out."

"I really want to, at least for her sake. I never knew my Dad, and ever since I was a young boy I always planned it so that when I had my own kids I'd have a really close relationship with them."

"Well, all I know is that Richard Castle had a beautiful relationship with his daughter, and I have faith that Richard Rodgers will have a relationship with her that's just as special".

"This Richard Castle guy sounds like quite a marvel actually", Castle said, leaning into Beckett, a mischievous look on his face.

Beckett shrugged with a devious look in her eye. "Mm, he was OK. I think I like this Rodgers guy better though."

"You do?" Castle sighed, his breath close enough to mingle with Beckett's.

"Am I interrupting?" Alexis's voice made them jump apart a little way.

"No, not at all, come on in Alexa", Castle said to his daughter who was standing at the doorway of his room.

"Alexis" Beckett and Alexis said together.

Castle grimaced. "Alexis, right...I'm sorry pumpkin."

Alexis stopped in her tracks and stared down at her father, gobsmacked.

"Dad. You- Kate did you tell him?"

Beckett shook her head, just as amazed as Alexis. "No, I didn't say a thing."

"What's the big idea?" Castle asked, looking more than a little confused.

"It's just "pumpkin" is, well it's your pet name for me. Has been since I can remember", Alexis became teary-eyed.

"Really? Aw, hey come here", Castle extended his arms to Alexis who came to them willingly.

Alexis sniffed into her father's shirt "I appreciate that you might not be able to say this back, not yet anyway, because I know that you hardly know me but I just want you to know that... I love you dad."

Castle's eyes began to water, as he held on tight to his little girl. "You know what? I believe I love you too Alexis."

...

Alexis and Beckett spent another hour with Castle and then retired back to Beckett's apartment for the night.

"How about the progress we made today, huh? He took some pretty big steps, right?" Alexis chattered away excitedly to Beckett as they cleaned up the dishes.

"Yes, definitely", Beckett replied. She had only half been listening to Alexis's ramblings as she had too many of her own observations of the day, and of her time spent with Castle.

Beckett knew that things couldn't go far while he was still in hospital, and she was glad of that in a way, because she knew that as long as things weren't moving forward, she would have the opportunity to take their future into full consideration, and yes, she wanted some kind of a future with Castle, she knew that now. The inevitability of it was unquestioned in her mind's eye, it was just a case of how much, how soon. After all, just a week ago, there relationship had only gone as far as three kisses on separate occasions. Of course, Castle had wanted much more than that, but it had been her that had kept one foot out the door with him, mostly because of her mom's case, and the innate need to have it solved before beginning a relationship with him. But she'd decided that her mother would want her to bring that foot inside the door, kick off her heels and get cozy with Castle for every night of the rest of her life.

Speaking of her mother...

"Alexis, I'm a little tired. I think I'm going to hit the hay, OK?"

"No problem. Hey Kate?"

"Yeah? Umph!" Alexis barreled Beckett over with a bone crushing hug.

"Thanks", the teen murmured into Beckett's shoulder.

Beckett smiled softly at her as she pulled away. "Always Alexis".

Beckett turned around and then paused in her stride. OK, that was an unexpected thing to come out of her mouth, unexpected yet oddly perfect as well.

Beckett smiled to herself as she retreated to her bedroom and found the thing she was looking for on top of her dresser. A large silver photo frame with a picture of two women, one was a woman in her fifties, with caramel colored hair; she was Professor Jane Klegen, a law professor at NYU. The other woman was no older than twenty five, a brightly smiling young auburn haired girl with a look of pure pride on her face. Her name was Holly Peatree and she was Professor Klagen's student.

Below the photograph, a caption read:

"Holly Peatree, law graduate at New York University became the first ever recipient of the Johanna Beckett Scholarship Award for Promising Young Lawyers. This award is given to those who show great commitment to a life in the legal justice system."

Beckett smiled, running her index finger over her mother's name.

This was the peace Castle had brought her for Christmas.