Pieces

Chapter 6 – Keep holding on

Keep holing on

Cause you know, we'll make it through

Just stay strong

Cause you know, I'm here for you

Brooke's stuffs were packed and she was waiting. Today she was getting released from the hospital and moving in with Lucas and Karen. She didn't know what to expect or to do, but one thing she was sure of: no matter what happened, Lucas would be there and this simple fact gave her strength.

The door opened and he went into the room. He looked at her and smiled a little. He knew it was going to be hard probably, but he couldn't help but be happy Brooke was leaving the hospital and moving in with him. Since the shooting, he felt some need to be around her, especially after he learned about the baby. Somehow, all the awful things that happened leaded to one good thing: Lucas realized that he wanted Brooke in his life more than he could explain and he could swear she felt the same way. Sometime during those few days, a strong connection formed between them, a connection that they could not explain, but there was no need to.

Their eyes met and Brooke smiled a little when that happened.

"Ready to leave, Pretty Girl?"

"You have no idea."

Brooke tried to stand up, but the pain in her leg was too strong. Lucas saw that and helped her. After she stood up, they locked their eyes and suddenly felt the urge to kiss her, but he stopped himself.

"Thanks, Luke."

He just kept looking in her eyes and she kept looking at his. Like there was some kind of magic not letting them break the contact. Then, Brooke's cell rang and the moment was gone. Lucas took her bags, but he couldn't get rid of the feeling he got when his eyes met hers.

Brooke looked at the caller's ID and saw it was Peyton. She picked up, but she could still see Lucas' eyes and the way they looked at her just seconds ago.

"Hey, P. Sawyer."

"Hey. I picked all the stuff you wanted and I just dropped them at Karen's."

"Thanks, buddy. You're the best."

"How are you? How do you feel about moving in with Lucas?"

Brooke hesitated on her answer, and she couldn't talk when Lucas was there, so she tried to escape the situation.

"Peyton, Lucas is here and we are just about to leave and I just want to get as far from this place as I could the soonest possible, so I'll call you back later, ok?"

"Ok. Love you, B. Davis."

"You too."

She hung up and looked at Lucas. They smiled a little to each other and then the both started walking. When Brooke was on the door, she turned around to face the room where she lived those last few days, the room where she lived probably the hardest moments in her life. She was just glad she was leaving.

*-*-*

The ride was silent. Lucas parked in front of his house, just in front of the stairs where he and Brooke talked about their relationship and he told her he was with her for who she was and they admitted they cared deeply about each other. This memory came into both their minds, but neither one of them mentioned it.

"You ready?"

She nodded and just when he was about to go get her baggage, she spoke.

"Hey, Luke."

He turned again in her direction and looked her straight in the eyes.

"We went through a lot lately. And you were with me every step of the way, no matter what. I wanna thank you. For saving me. By running in that school but not only this way. Your support, you being there, it saved my life. I couldn't make it through even one of those days without you. So, thanks."

He wanted to explain to her how he felt, but he couldn't find the right words, so he just said:

"I'll always protect you. We'll get through this, through everything, together. You and me."

They smiled at each other a little, then Lucas spoke again.

"Now, let's go. Mom really wants to see you."

He took the nags and helped her with the stairs and the door. Then, he called his mom.

"Mom, we are in my room."

Karen came into the room. Brooke was nervous about her reaction. She knew Karen was an amazing woman, but she just didn't know what to expect, so she was nervous. But Karen just smiled at her and hugged her, whispering:

"Welcome home, dear."

Lucas looked at them and at this moment, he knew it was gonna be ok.

*-*-*

Brooke woke up in Lucas' room. He and Karen insisted that she should take her and eventually she agreed. She looked around her. It was filled with many memories. Like the time Keith interrupted them. She felt so embarrassed then. Or that time after the game. It was one of their best nights together. But there was one more reason why it was so important to her. When they got the positive test, she calculated that their baby was probably conceived that night. She closed her eyes and sighed. Even with the days passing, she couldn't get rid of the feeling of emptiness and the pain. It still hurt as much as it did when she learned. But she had to be strong. For Lucas. And she would be, because he deserved it.

She looked at the clock. It was 7 AM. She wasn't sure if Lucas and Karen were awake, but she just couldn't stay in bed any longer, so she went to the kitchen where she saw Karen cooking. The older woman saw her and smiled.

"Brooke, I didn't expect you to be up so early."

As she sat down, Brooke started talking.

"I woke up and I decided to come here. I didn't wake you, did I?"

"No. Actually, Lucas woke me around half an hour ago. I heard him walking around I got up. He went for a run, but I think he'll be home soon."

Brooke simply nodded and smiled. Karen gave her some food and a cup of coffee and sat next to her. Brooke smiled. All those years, her mother never cook her a breakfast and gave her coffee. And now this woman who she barely knew was making her feel like she had mother for the first time in her life.

"Karen, I wanna thank you for letting me stay here, for letting Lucas stay with me those days. For everything."

Karen looked her with loving and caring eyes.

"Brooke, you're welcome. I'm so glad you stayed here."

"I know you probably blame me for risking Lucas' life and you have every right to be mad…"

"Brooke, of course I freaked out when I learned he was in that school, but I don't blame you for anything. I'm just happy you are both ok."

Brooke smiled and started drinking her coffee.

"I want you to know that this is your home now. Don't hesitate to ask if you need anything, I want you to feel comfortable. We are here for you."

Brooke nodded, she just didn't know what to say. Karen looked at her and Brooke knew what was coming next.

"Look, I know that nothing could change what happened and I can't imagine how you feel, but if you need someone to talk to, you can always come to me. I know you have your friends and Lucas, and you and me don't know each other so well, but I can always listen to you and talk to you if you need it."

Brooke wasn't sure if it was good idea to talk to Karen, but there was one thing that made her different from everyone else: she has been pregnant at her age, she was a mother and maybe she could understand better.

"It's just so unreal, you know? All of it. 3 months ago, I was cheer captain Brooke Davis, party girl, hooking up with whoever caught my eye. But then Lucas came into my life and everything changed. I didn't want the parties and the hook ups anymore. For the first time I cared about a guy. And he was so sweet and amazing, I couldn't believe how lucky I was to be with him. But then it all messed up. First the car accident, then I learned about him and Peyton, the only person I trusted completely in my life. It broke me. After that, when I started thinking I was pregnant, it became even worse. I didn't know what to do, so I just pretended it was not happening. But one night, I decided it was enough. And when we saw the two lines, I was just so scared. I thought 'How can I be pregnant? I'm still in high school. And Lucas doesn't want anything to do with me. What I'm gonna do?' And then, when they told me I was not, I felt a bit relieved, you know? When I think about it now, I'm disgusted with myself. And then, the shooting happened and Lucas was the one who saved me. My knight in shining armor. I fell in love with him all over again. And then, the doctor told me my baby died. The second he said it, everything else just disappeared. All that remained was the emptiness and the pain. It aches so much. Like someone took my heart, broke it into many peaces and put deep a knife in each on of them and then returned them to me. I can't describe it. And all I can do is keep asking why. Why did fate gave us that baby just to take it away? Why this happened? It had no fault, it was innocent. And I try my best to be ok, but I just can't. I can't get rid of the feeling that I'm empty, lost, broken. When I close my eyes, all I could do is picture the life he or she could had. When I'm alone, I put my hands on my belly and imagine what it would be if I was still pregnant. When I look at Lucas, I see his pain and I feel guilty. And I picture our child. I picture how if it was a girl, she would be daddy's girl, but he would still stop me of spoiling her too much. I'd teach her how to cheer, and Lucas would read with her. I picture a little boy who would love basketball as much as his dad. He'd surely be stubborn. We'd go to eat ice cream and watch games together. And there comes a moment when reality hits me and it's like everything inside me burns painfully. And I just don't know what to do."

She was crying again. Tears were slowly falling from her eyes. She hasn't opened so much to anyone. She didn't know why she let Karen so deep in, but it made her feel a bit better. The other woman seemed so compassionate and caring.

"Oh, honey. I wish I could do anything to help you. But when it's about your child, nothing could help."

"I don't know. How can I love so much a child I thought I wasn't ready to have, a child I didn't really know about until I lost it? It probably sounds stupid, like I'm over reacting."

"It doesn't sound stupid at all. It was your baby."

Brooke closed her eyes for a second, she had to, because otherwise she would break down. Then, she spoke again.

"Our baby."

Karen just looked at her, not saying a word.

"I know he's putting a brave face for me. Tell me the truth. How is he?"

Karen sighed.

"He's hurting a lot. The last 3-4 months his world changed so much. Dan and Nathan came into it, then the whole situation with you and Peyton, and now this. He was upset enough because of the shooting. He lost Jimmy, he almost lost you. And then the baby. He's a mess."

Hearing all those things just made Brooke feel worse. She never wanted that for Lucas. She loved him and all she wanted was to make him feel better.

"But when he's around you, it's better. Because you are very important to him, you have no idea how much you mean to him. And because you went through all this together. He needs you. And I know you need him. So, just both give yourself your time and do it together. Meanwhile, I'm here for both of you."

Brooke looked at her and whispered

"Thank you."

It was something simple, but both of them knew how much stood behind those two simple words.

*-*-*

Lucas ran and ran. Like he was running from something. But he knew he couldn't escape his own mind. After more than hour of running, he went to the rivercourt and sat down. His thoughts and feelings were a complete mess. He still felt sorry for Jimmy's death, but the news about the baby filled his heart with hate and anger for his one time friend. The baby. It didn't make sense. Why was he hurting so much over a child he didn't knew about? A child he was so young to have. But it was his child. And it was gone before getting its chance. It was so damn unfair. And hurtful. He couldn't stop thinking about it. His little baby. His and Brooke's. That was the other things Lucas felt messed up about. Brooke. 3 months ago, he hadn't even talked to her. Now, he couldn't figure out how he felt for her. When they were together, he felt like they were together just for the fun. He didn't pay enough attention to her, all he thought about was how to make up things with her best friend. Since the night she showed up at his room when he was with Brooke, all he could think about is what if. That's why he never thought about what he felt for Brooke. And that night in the motel and the times he was with Peyton after that, he though he was finally with the girl he wanted for so many years. But now, when he could think over everything, he started realizing there was a reason he chose Brooke that night, that he stopped in that motel room. And the reason was that Brooke was important to him. More important than he thought. And why did it take him so long to realize it? Why was it necessary that he almost lost her to figure it out? He didn't know. But there was something else bothering him. The need he felt to be around her, the want to be there for her and do everything for her, was it just because of everything that happened? He knew it wasn't. And that moment in the hospital. He felt like he could never take his eyes off of her. Like her eyes were hypnotizing him. And the need to kiss her, it wasn't like anything he felt ever before, let alone with Brooke. It was so strong. Lucas couldn't explain it. Then suddenly, Brooke's words from the library started spinning in his head. 'I love you." 'I love you.' 'I love you.'… Why was he thinking about this? Was it just because of everything that connected him with Brooke lately? Was it simply because the baby they could had? Was it because of the life they both knew could had been amazing, the two of them and their little girl or boy? Was it?

Something inside him told him he knew exactly why was he thinking about it and it was not just because of those things.

*-*-*

Lucas came home around nine. Karen had already left for the café. He decided to check on Brooke and he went into his room. He saw her looking at some pictures. She obviously hasn't noticed he came into the room. As good as it was to watch her smile a little at the photos, he wanted to talk to her, to make sure she was ok.

"Do you mind if I take a look?"

She looked at him. When she saw him, it became a bit better. After all he was her Lucas.

"No. Come sit here."

He sat next to her and looked at the photos she looked at. There were one of the cheer squad and the basketball team, some of her and Peyton, one of the two of them and him, and then several of him and her in the cabin. He smiled too when he saw the faces they had made.

"You remember when we took those photos?"

He slightly smiled.

"Of course. You took me to the mall and we shopped for what felt like forever. Then we ate in the cafeteria and you stole from my fries and laughed at the face I made. You put ice cream on my nose and took a picture with your cell. Then we decided to went to take some photos in the cabin."

Brooke looked at him amazed how well he remembered that date. It was nothing so special, but it was one of the sweetest days they had and he remembered. She smiled.

"I missed you, Broody."

"I missed you too, Cheery."

They looked at each other and hugged.

Brooke felt like he was going to disappear if she didn't hold him, so she pulled him even closer.

Lucas felt like it was the most natural thing, having his arms around her.

Somehow, they both knew the other felt the same way and they didn't need words.

After a while, they pulled away and Brooke saw a picture of much younger Karen with baby Lucas in her hands. She took the picture in her hands and looked sadly, but still smiled.

"You were such a cute baby."

Lucas put her hand on her shoulder and pulled her closer again.

"It's gonna get better, right? We'll make it through together, you and me?"

Her voice was quiet and raspier than usually when she asked him this. She needed to hear it from him to start believing.

Lucas caressed her while she rested her head on his shoulder.

"Yeah. It will be ok eventually. Till then, we'll do it all together."

And they stayed like this, no words needed.