Okay, here's chapter seven. The beginning of this chapter is a bit fillerish and plot dropping, and then it gets better.
Disclaimer: I do not own Tales of Symphonia.
Training was one of his alone times, the time where he just…let go. But today, of all days, he couldn't let go of anything. Too much had happened lately, and his mind was spinning, trying to wrap his brain around it all.
First, there was what Yuan had revealed. The Great Tree… and Martel. A woman trapped for eternity until she could be resurrected at the cost of the world's only hope. He wasn't sure what to think of that. If they did revive the tree, and killed her, would they be doing the right thing? Sacrificing one person to save the world-like Colette. Exactly like Colette. He was uneasy with doing this, but they had already said they would, he had said he would, so he was caught.
And the Great Tree… He had tried to imagine it-a gigantic tree that gave mana to the entire world-but couldn't. He had even tried to substitute one of the big trees in Iselia Forest for it. It still didn't work. It must have been an amazing sight when it was alive.
Which brought him around to Sylvarant and Tethe'alla. Two worlds…that used to be one world. And they were ripping them apart more by breaking mana links. Was it right…? Well, leaving them the way that Yggdrasill made them wasn't helping anybody either. They had to stop it. And him. And Lloyd knew that someday, he had to fight him. Which made this training even more important.
He tried to focus, but his brain wouldn't. He kept going back to the past. Now he was at Rodyle's ranch again. Dammit, why did everybody have to die? And he knew it was his fault. Not his fault entirely, but he shared some of the blame. And that hurt. It made him think of all the people he had killed, and were now weighing on his conscious. The people of Iselia, Marble, the Desians they'd killed, Dorr, and now the Renegades.
What's worse is that he didn't regret some of it. He had wanted to kill the Desians, and sometimes even the Renegades. But he shouldn't think about that. He wasn't going to. It'd only lead to more bad thoughts.
Speaking of bad thoughts, now he was thinking of the fight that had occurred between him and his father.
They had encountered him in Meltokio, when going to the Elemental Research Academy. He had been going the opposite way. He had breezed past Lloyd, going straight for Presea, questioning her about sacred wood. Lloyd's eyes had narrowed, and he asked Kratos what he wanted it for. He was ignored. And that hurt, even though he knew they had to act indifferent to each other. …Mostly.
And then he had the nerve to turn around and tell them to stop breaking mana links. And that's when Lloyd had lost it.
'You don't control me! Don't tell me what to do!'
'Lloyd, don't you dare speak to me like that.'
'Don't speak to you like what? You're not my father, so don't act like it!'
Stupid, stupid, stupid! It had just…slipped out. He started swinging his sword faster, with more fury as anger at himself overwhelmed him. In the next second, his sword had lodged itself halfway into a tree. And he couldn't get it out.
Damned angelic strength that liked to come and go when it pleased. He hoped it settled down after this was all over or else he'd have problems, like he was now. He continued to tug at the hilt, trying to dislodge it from the tree. It didn't want to come out.
He sighed, throwing himself to the ground underneath the tree, and sticking his sword into the ground. At least he'd be able to get that one out. The other one was another matter. How would he explain that to his friends? He'd explained away too much already. He was certain the Professor was getting suspicious.
He pulled his knees up to his chest, resting his head on them. He didn't want this to happen. He was in too deep, and he was drowning, suffocating, in his own lies. Explaining away one thing or another, excuse after excuse, they were all lies. He lifted his head up, punching the ground next to him. He never wanted it to happen like this! His entire life was a lie.
And now he was lashing out at the only person who knew the truth.
"Dammit! Why did I even say that? I knew it would hurt him, I knew it would, and yet I said it anyway! Why?!"
"Once again, I reiterate. You're a teenager, Lloyd. It's your job to hate me." Lloyd looked up, startled, to see his father standing a few feet away from him.
"But I don't want to hate you…" he said weakly, feeling slightly sick.
"Well, hate is indeed a strong work. More like resent. And once it passes, you feel terrible about it, yes?"
"I do…I still do. I'm sorry!" Lloyd said, probably looking very pitiful. Kratos just chuckled.
"I'm sure you are. But you don't need to apologize, Lloyd. I understand." Lloyd gave him a slight smile that he returned and Lloyd felt that all was forgiven.
"How'd you get so good at this, anyway?" Lloyd asked, his usual grin starting to return even though things still weighed on his mind. He could think about them later.
"I should hope I would be, after 4,000 years of observing people," Kratos said, holding out two hands for Lloyd to grab. Lloyd almost took them, but that comment finally registered.
"Wait…4,000 years?!" Kratos paled, realizing his mistake.
"It was a slight of mind, Lloyd. I meant forty," he said, trying to brush it off. Lloyd had heard what he heard, however.
"No, you said 4,000…You're 4,000 years old?!" Kratos involuntarily winced, as Lloyd got to his feet. "You are, aren't you…?"
"Yes, yes I am, Lloyd," he said through clenched teeth. This was it. He could already imagine his son yelling at him, rejecting him.
And then Lloyd started laughing. Not tame laughter, more like doubled up, crying your eyes out laughter.
"Lloyd…?" Kratos started to fear for his sanity, that the angelic transformation had been too much for him, and this was the final thing that made him snap.
He finally stopped, leaning on the tree and looking up. His eyes were sparkling mischievously and an evil grin was on his face.
"So you really ARE an old man!" The first emotion Kratos felt was relief, for a great many things. But then he glared at Lloyd.
"So that's all you can think of, is it? That I'm an old man?" There was still that defensiveness around those words, the pessimistic part of him that still expected Lloyd to reject him.
Lloyd noticed, and his smile faded, his face growing serious.
"Dad, I don't care if you're 4,000 years old or 10,000. It makes no difference to me." He walked over to his father, standing right in front of him. "I mean it, I really do. Just because your mind has aged and your body hasn't…well, I stick by a theory of mine that age is just a mindset."
Kratos laughed bitterly. "Lloyd, when you really look, I'm just a cynical, pessimistic old man. Please don't try and make me feel better by saying that."
Lloyd smiled wryly. "Then how do you explain why you got into a snowball fight with me a few weeks ago?" His father opened his mouth, but then closed it again. "…I thought so. The young man inside of you is always there. You just don't acknowledge him much. You need to start doing that more often," he said, satisfied at the shocked expression on his father's face. He turned around and looked at his sword poking out of the tree.
"Now, will you get that out for me?" Kratos obliged, easily grasping the hilt and tugging it out of the tree. He offered it to Lloyd, who took it gratefully and collected his other sword, sheathing them.
"Thanks for that. I should probably be going now. Bye…" He started to walk away, until Kratos grabbed his shoulder.
"Wait! I mean…" Lloyd turned around, intrigued. Kratos looked nervous all of a sudden. Had he caused that…?
"Yes, Dad?"
"What were you doing out here, anyway?"
"Training," Lloyd replied. "Exactly what it looked like." Kratos seemed to contemplate this for a moment.
"Would you like…to train with me again?" Lloyd's eyes started to develop that sparkle that they always did when he was excited or happy. Kratos half-expected him to jump up and down with sheer delight.
"I don't know, I do have to go back to my camp…"
"And I have to go back to Cruxis. That's not a valid point." And there it was, hidden underneath the fancy words. The young man in his father shining through, wanting to train with his son.
"I was right," he said softly, almost amazed. An ever so slight pink drifted across Kratos' cheeks. He changed the subject, neither gracefully nor slowly.
"So are you leaving now, or are you staying with me?"
"Of course I'm staying."