Chapter 7

Pranked

Kyle

The eye drops worked wonders for my eyes and I am just so thankful that someone just happened to be there when I needed it the most. Maybe my luck is starting to turn around for once. I mean I do deserve a break from reality after going through so much crap up till this day. Fate must have taken pity on me and sent me an angel with eye drops. Am I finally forgiven for my past mistakes?

I laugh at myself for referring to a complete strange as my angel. I couldn't even make out his features through the blurriness so I shouldn't be comparing him to an angel. For all I know, he could've been some kind of homeless weirdo who followed me to the mall just to get a thrill out of giving me...eye drops? Okay, so I guess that doesn't make any sense at all. But regardless, I just wish he had stayed long enough for me to thank him properly, homeless weirdo or angel.

Or at least allowed me to say goodbye since I most likely won't see him again.

I lay back in bed for a nap. Okay, so today wasn't exactly the best day in my life but it also wasn't the worse either. I just wish I can see that guy again; his aura just had something trustful about him that made me feel very natural around him despite the fact that I couldn't see him at all.

I close my very tired and sore eyes to rest them. Some sleep should do me some good and maybe I can conjure up a mental image of that guy in my dreams. Who knows I might get lucky and get an accurate picture of him somehow.

(Monday Morning)

Ike's official graduation ceremony is coming up this Friday and I want to make sure that I'm there for the little bugger. Not that I wouldn't be there otherwise. The little guy's finally going onto university and I want to be there to see it. I want to see his high school year end in a memorable way rather than what happened with me years before. I want to see what it's like to be walking down the stage and receiving a diploma with pure happiness evoking from Ike; not a fake look of content when in reality there is deep suffering beneath the surface. Not like the way Stan and I managed to ruin both of our last years in high school together.

I walk around the school hallway and look around to make sure the grade twelve posters reminding students to attend the last prom of the year are up and ensuring that graduates have paid the proper fees to rent grad gowns and yada, yada, yada...same old shit like back when I was in high school. Nothing's changed much in five years.

I notice shreds of what looks like what was once a poster and grumble in annoyance. I make my way other to the very badly ripped down poster to fix it and sigh to myself. Well, unlike in my day where students tend to leave these kinds of things on the walls alone, kids today seem like they will wreck anything that's considered an eyesore. And it's even more insulting to me since I worked on these posters with the help my some of the students in my class.

I bring the shredded pieces up and decide that there's no point in fixing it when here's already so many stuck on the walls. One less poster isn't going to kill anyone. Except a tree.

"Broflovski!"

"Jesus!" I jump and throw the poster pieces back on the floor. Ugh. The principal.

"Morning, Mrs. Johnson." I say back politely after realizing it's her as I bend down to gather up the shreds of paper again. Did she really have to sneak up on me this early in the morning? I mean it would have been better if she cleared her throat to warn me, or even better, walked in loud steps so I know that I'm not the only one in the hallway.

"Yes, a great morning indeed. Especially for a Monday." She says sarcastically.

Goddammit, what the hell does she want now?

"Uh hm." I fake enthusiasm in my voice just to get her to back the hell off of me. I already made a bad impression on her on my first day of teaching so I don't want to get on that side again just when we're starting to tolerate each other.

"How was the meeting a couple of days ago."

'Boring' is what I want to say to her. There wasn't any point in making that meeting mandatory for all teachers at Denver High to attend. Honestly, it was a complete waste of a few days and money to stay at a nearby hotel just because the school was too freaking cheap to provide the living expenses for us. Not only that, but we were all forced to sit there for hours listening boring talk about how new staff will be coming to our school and how we're all expected to treat them with the same respect as we do with each other. I'm just amazed how they still treat working adults like a bunch of fourth graders.

"It was fine." I glance around the hall to try to spot any other posters that are in need of finding a new home in the trash.

"And you know all of the rules regarding your teaching position and your way around the school?"

"Yes..." I answer and I think by now she's starting to understand that this conversation isn't getting either of us anywhere. Even I can recognize the boredom in my voice.

"Then can you do me a favour?" she asks suddenly.

This sparks a bit of my interest. She's actually asking me to take part in an important school activity? Does this mean she finally accepts me as a proper staff member in the school instead of a do-gooder-who-doesn't-know-when-to-shut-up?

"Sure. I don't mind." I answer not caring what she wants me to do. I'm just happy that I'm finally given something else to occupy my spare time other than making stupid posters that will get ripped down anyways.

"Good. I need to you to show a new staff around the school after lunch. You can do that, right?" she stops walking and rests both of her hands on her hips, showing that she only expects one answer to that rhetorical question.

"Of course." I reply simply.

"Thank you, Broflovski." She pats me on the shoulder and walks by me. "Just swing by the main office and I'll introduce you two. We need him to fill out some paper work so just be patient when you arrive." She says and cocks a smile and studies me for a moment, almost reminding me of how Kenny looks at me sometimes. "You know, you guys should get along, you're about the same age."

I don't know why age difference will determine whether two people can get along but I shrug it off and she walks away from me. She clearly hasn't seen just how 'well' Cartman and I get along and we're the same age. I should bring him over one day just to prove her wrong. But then again, I don't think it's such a good idea to bring together two people that hate me.

"Oh." I say and she turns around. "How does he look like? You know just in case I bump into him in the hallway."

She places a hand on her hips with the other one on her chin as she studies me again. "Better looking than you."

Ugh.

Kenny

"Kenny! You gotta help me!"

"Alright! Calm the fuck down, Ike!" I reassure the panicking voice on other side of the phone. He's been screaming that for five minutes already and I still don't know what the hell he's freaking out for. He's woke me up this early and if he doesn't tell me the reason soon I'm going to really be mad. I hate being woken for stupid reasons.

I clutch the phone and switch ears so I can sit up from our bed. "IKE! What the fuck is the problem?"

The poor kid sounds like he's on the brink of tears and it's starting to tug the worry inside of me. The way he's huffing and hyperventilating is freaking me out in so many ways that even I'm on the border of panicking myself. I tell him to calm down and to slowly explain everything to me and that I'll do my best to help him. Man, just what the hell happened to this poor kid?

"K-Kyle..." he begins.

Kyle? Oh shit. What the hell happened now?

"T-today's the last day to purchase prom tickets at Kyle's school. A-and I forgot to tell Kyle to get them for me!" he yells into the phone and blubbers uncontrollably.

Oh so that's the problem? With the way he was talking, I could have mistaken him for confessing to murder or rape. God, the kid really needs to control his emotions before calling for help, especially for something this trivial.

"It's okay. Just calm down, Ike." I get up and pull on a shirt. " Why don't you call Kyle?" I suggest while running my hand through my messed up hair.

"He's not allowed to take phone calls at school." He whines.

I grab a pair of socks and pull them on since I know where this phone conversation is going to lead. "That's stupid." I chuckled into the speaker. "His school's not far from my place, I'll take a little walk over there around lunch okay? I have to pick up some groceries before work anyways." I suggest.

"Would you? Oh man! Thank, Ken! I owe you one!" his exclaims excitedly on the other end with his previous breathing problem gone.

"Sure, sure. I just don't want you to die from a nervous breakdown. Take care." I hang up and head to the bathroom to brush my teeth and then grab some breakfast on the way out.

I smile to myself thinking that I'm still a sucker for young love.

At exactly noon I arrive at Denver High just when the lunch bell rings through the school. The place isn't too bad for an old building. A bit too antique for my liking but nonetheless pretty classy and rich looking. Those nicely curved deco designs and lifelike statues at the front tells me that this isn't an ordinary school that people like me could get into without paying an arm or a leg. Everything here just reeks of rich people and I already feel out of place without even stepping into the school. Fuck, maybe it was a bad idea to come here after all. But it's also a bad idea standing out here and staring suspiciously at the school.

Walking inside, the hallways swarm with students getting ready to go for lunch. Some head out the front and some run to the cafeteria with their friends laughing about God knows what. At least the kids here look normal enough and not all high class snobby like the school's appearance. I overhear a couple of girls at the side giggling sheepishly at me as they greet me with a flirtatious look when I look over at the noise during my walk. At least they act like normal teenagers as well.

I follow the sign that directs "All visitors must report to the main office" and turn the corner to the big ass office that anyone could see a mile away. No point in looking for Kyle myself if I run a risk of getting thrown out with looking suspicious.

I knock on the office door and the secretary looks up from her phone. "Yes?" she smiles as she covers the speaker part of the phone with her hand.

"I'm looking for Kyle Broflovski. It's...er...an emergency." I state remembering back to Ike's reaction when he called me.

"Okay, and you are?" she bats her eyes at me as a crappy attempt to flirt.

"Kenny. I'm his friend."

"Alright just one moment." She goes back to the phone and I'm left standing around waiting for her to finish. She glances at me a few times and looks back at her note pad with her face as red as a tomato, continuing her talk about having a new staff at the school or something like that. When she finally finishes her phone call, she gets up and tells me to wait a few minutes since she needs to drop off a bunch of papers before getting Kyle. She seems reluctant to leave me with the way she just keeps talking and going on about how if I have any questions I shouldn't hesitate to stay after school to ask her. She evens touches the side of my arm after saying that and a feeling of disgust runs through my body. Though, I do applaud her attempts to flirt with me, but with my wife being the only one on my mind she doesn't even register as attractive to me. Hence the disgusted feeling. I finally shoo her away with my disinterest in her conversation and she hurries out of the office, disappointed when I flashed her a look at my wedding ring by conveniently scratching my nose right when she looked at my face.

And this isn't the first time this kind of thing has happened to me. Curse my wretched good looks.

As I wait and more and more time passes by, I get restless and start walking around the office, looking at the various books placed in the tall shelf in front of me. There's a few year books and office documents kept in large binders and unfortunately none of them interest me the least. I look around some more to try and find something more interesting to distract me from boredom.

That's when the computer the secretary was seated at attracts my attention. I smile and make my way over to the black keyboard. I'm pretty sure she won't mind me playing a bit of cards or mindsweeper until she gets back. Besides, I can always seduce my way out of trouble if worse comes to worse.

I take the liberty of ridding the screensaver to begin my fun. But what I see in front of me proves to be more fun than any game of cards or mindsweeper. As I read through the information in front of me it becomes clear that these are indeed applications regarding staff registration for this school. And not only that, but the name of the person listed brings a huge grin to my face. So school nurse, huh? Nice.

This is just perfect.

I click around with the mouse and realize that I'm in full access of editing whatever information that is in front of me. I can do whatever I want and this power makes me feel that this is a perfect opportunity that I just cannot pass up for the life of me. Sure, I've sworn that I wouldn't interfere anymore, but this isn't exactly 'interference.' I'm just merely playing a prank for my own horrible amusement with no other intention behind it. There, no one can argue with that.

I take a quick glance towards the door and return to the screen to make the necessary changes that I have in mind. This is so bad, I haven't done anything like this in so long and it makes me feel reckless again even though it's not something super hardcore. For a twenty-three year old, I sure feel like a naughty sixteen year old again. Doing something so sneaky and yet having the feeling of getting caught any moment brings even more excitement to me.

I hit save and there. Done.

No one will suspect a thing. Well, no one except for the actual person who just fell victim to my little prank.

I chuckle quietly to myself and return to my previous waiting position in front of the main desk. I nearly jump out of my skin when Kyle comes rushing through the office entrance only seconds after, looking for me. Talk about a close call. Had I took any longer...I shudder at the thought.

"Kenny. The secretary said you needed me because of an emergency?" he approaches me with worry written all over his face.

I smile back to reassure him that it's not a life threatening emergency. "Don't worry, dude. It's an emergency, but not THAT kind of emergency."

Kyle takes a seat next to me "What?" he scratches his head.

"Okay, well to Ike it's an emergency but it's not the type where someone is dying or whatever." I try to explain. I realize after a while that I'm not making any more sense than I did the first time so I just outwardly spill it. "Ike wants you to buy prom tickets for him and his little girlfriend. Apparently it's the last day to get them?"

Kyle rolls his eyes. "Oh, Jesus. He made you come all the way here for something that stupid?"

I can understand why Kyle would be irritated with Ike's request but I also understand why Ike would freak out over something like this, so I automatically jump to his defence. It seems like the trauma from high school has rendered Kyle incapable of remembering how it feels like to be in love with someone. Not that he would know with Wendy.

"Oh comon, dude! Aren't you being a bit too hard on him? This is clearly very important to Ike."

Kyle doesn't respond but only looks more annoyed than usual, and this is turn just annoys the fuck out of me.

"Just don't yell at him when you get home, alright?"

Kyle shakes his head. "I mean what the hell's the big deal with this whole prom thing? Is it that important that he must bother everyone else and involve them?" he complains as he sits myself down next to me in the lounge chairs .

"I think he wants to spend some time with her before they part." I reply matter-of-factly.

"He's still young. And they're going to be apart for a long time! Do you honestly think they would last? It's just stupid puppy love." He exclaims loudly and I thanks God that no one else is in this office with us.

I can't believe what I'm hearing. And from Kyle, the one who's suppose to be the voice of reason out of all of us. He's being such a hypocrite right now that it's not even funny. I don't know if he has forgotten that he was even younger than Ike when Stan and him were in love with each other, or he is just refusing to remember something like that in order to not bring up baggage from the past, but he is, for once, being the irrational one here.

"I gotta get going." I get up from my seat. "If you're that bothered by this whole thing, I'll get Ike the prom tickets, okay?"

Kyle shakes his head in defeat. "No. It's fine. I'll pick them up. You just go on home." He waves me off from his seated position.

I nod. "See you later."

The more I look at Kyle the more it seems as though he's jealous of Ike's relationship with that girl. When he was talking, his eyes were filled with regret and also questions about why he and Stan couldn't have turned out the way Ike's and his girlfriend did. I could tell when Kyle started yelling about Ike troubling me, he really wasn't mad about that, he was more angry at the fact that the only thing that Ike has to worry about in his relationship are stupid prom tickets. Whereas he and Stan...well, you know. I'm sure Kyle's anger is rooted in wishing that he was as lucky as Ike to only worry about prom tickets with Stan.

I feel sorry for him.

Kyle also gets up from his seat and follows me out "Oh you're leaving too?" I ask him.

"No, I'm supposed to show some new guy around the school. I don't know why they would ask me though. I'm pretty new here, myself." He shrugs.

I grin at this. This is more than just perfect. Not only did they 'happen' to ask Kyle of all the staff here to show the new guy around, but my little prank back there plays into this even better now. If all goes well, it'll be the most awesome thing that's ever happened in these five years. No it'll be the most epic thing and to think I'm the one responsible for it. But more importantly, things will finally start to turn around for poor Kyle.

I hope.

"Where are you going after this, Kenny?" he asks when he stops walking and leans on the wall across the office.

I stop a bit ahead of him."Grocery shopping." I say simply.

"Okay, I'll come by your place sometime. I gotta wait for them to show up with the new guy." He glances at his wrist watch impatiently, indicating that they must be late with him.

I almost laugh out loud at Kyle's cluelessness. I do wish they would hurry it up with the new guy already. I would love to be here when to see Kyle's reaction when they show up, but I have to hurry if I don't want to be late for work later. Besides, I can hear all about it when Kyle comes by to complain later.

"I should get going, dude." I turn a around and wave a hand at him. "You can tell me all about it later."

He grumbles something and nods towards me. I wonder what will happen when they do show up with the new worker? I can just imagine Kyle's reaction but I wonder how would the other guy react. That will be an interesting thing to think about on the way home. Amusing too.

This is going to be so interesting.

Chapter 7 END- TBC