Kung Fu Panda: Harassing The Tiger

By Mitchicus

Chapter 7

The two walked into the barracks, the lights inside visible to the two. They heard laughter and Shifu ridiculing the students, and Po managed a chuckle.

"They're finally back." He said happily, eager to see his friends but was stopped by a paw on his shoulder. "Po, we have to play it cool." Tigress told him. "They don't know about…us." Po protested. "But I want to brag about being able to date you!" Tigress rolled her eyes. "Do you really want to die that badly?" She asked, and Po was about to respond yet again, but stopped and shook his head. "Good, now let's get going; stay cool and don't be suspicious."

The two made their way up the steps and went into the barracks, all to see a cup full of tea hit the wall next to them, spilling some of the tea on Po and making him yell. "You are paying for that tea cup, Monkey!" Shifu yelled, but realized who he had heard yelling. "Wait, is that Po and Tigress?"

A sound like a stampede began to build down the hall, until Mantis, Monkey, Crane, and Viper all came crashing into the two, tackling them and "greeting" them.

"I need air, I need air!" Tigress complained, throwing Crane through a paper wall and then wincing at how much force she used. "Oh…sorry about that."

There was no reply. The group began to settle down half an hour later, and Shifu emerged when he saw that the chaos had left the hall.

"Glad to see the Jade Palace in one piece." He complimented, and the two bowed. "Good to see you again, Master Shifu." Tigress replied. "Might you tell me where that half breed is though?" Shifu asked, Po shaking his head. "Haven't seen him in a while. Probably doing something zenny is my guess." Shifu nodded. "How did the trip go?" Tigress asked. "Well, when you deal with a bandit infestation, and then an earthquake that only happens every two decades that fell on us, it was glorious." Shifu sarcastically stated. "But we did our duty and their in our debt."

The group sat down again and began to finish dinner. Minus a few shurikens thrown about the table, and a few more smashed tea cups, the dinner went normally, as if the group had never been divided for so long. The masters settled in for bed, but Shifu had a different plan for Po. He knocked on his door in the middle of the night, and whispered his name. The only response was more snoring. He tried again, and only received the same response. Grumbling, he opened the door, grabbed a hold of a small chute of bamboo and smacked Po on the head with it. Po howled with pain before Shifu covered his mouth, and gestured for him to follow him outside. Po obliged, still rubbing the top of his head, and followed the old master into the Hall of Heroes.

"Why did you get me up so late, Master Shifu?" Po asked, Shifu lighting a torch and urging him towards the bookshelf.

Shifu pulled a book back, and the bookshelf opened, revealing another hallway that went deep underground. The two began to go forward, and came to a room filled with many relics.

"On my trip, I came across a small half buried temple. Without telling the others, I went inside, and found this." Shifu said, pointing at a large key. "I don't know what it is for, and what lies behind it." The wise master said, picking up the key and looking around at the strange language written on it. "And how does this apply to me exactly?" Po asked, puzzled by his purpose in this matter.

Shifu turned to the panda. "I would like you to find the lock this opens, as it can't be outside of China. And this depiction," Shifu said, pointing to a small carving of mountains and a valley, "is in the Kunlun Mountains. You should be able to find it in not too much time." Po's eyes widened. "You want ME to go and scour around to find a lock that will fit in your little key in a massive mountain range where it could be anywhere?!" Po yelled, Shifu shaking his head. "No, you and a few others can search for it."

Po bit his lip, staring down the Red Panda. Shifu handed Po the keys and began to walk away.

"Leave at dawn with a couple of the others, and try and find what it leads to. This could be a major-" Po cut him off. "Yes I know, a major breakthrough for Kung Fu and the benefit of China." Po said like a schoolboy.

Shifu rolled his eyes and continued on, leaving the panda still standing with the key.

…

"So do you want to come?" Po asked his lover. "Anything but staying here…it's getting so annoying being around them again. I don't know if being away from the palace has destroyed their minds or I am spoiled by not being in their presence, but I need another vacation after one night with them again. "And we should find Mitch; he's the only sane one besides Shifu left pretty much."

The two made their way to the Peach Tree, their best bet of finding him, and they were correct on their first guess. He stood folding his arms and leaning against the bark, looking into the rising sun and its surroundings.

"Yo, Mitch!" Po said, but did not receive a joyful greeting from the white tiger. "Hello," He grumbled, not moving his head. "Is this still about that breakup you had a week ago? You really have gotten temperamental." Tigress ridiculed, receiving a low growl from the feline. "What do you guys want?" He demanded. "Shifu would like for me and two others to go find some relic to some old key, want to tag along?" Po asked, and Mitch sighed. "Fine," He said, and turned to them, walking up to the two. "Then let's get going."

"We need some food and water to take with us to go to Kunlun." Po said, walking in front of the two tigers. "Kunlun?!" The two felines yelled, and Po nodded. "Yeah…he wants us to do a scavenger hunt." The Dragon Warrior replied. "Glorious," Mitch commented.

Once they had been readied up, the trio began their long journey to the mountains, and after hours of travelling, and the coming night, the three made their camp. Po had cooked a few dumplings, and the group began to eat.

"I see your cooking has improved. Tigress complimented, and Po laughed. "Well I told myself if I love eating so much, why not eat even better food? Tweaking recipes runs in my blood…err…stepblood." The panda replied. "Could I see the relic?" Mitch asked, and Po tossed him the key, the tiger's eyes darting over every piece of the key with the fire's flame as his light. "Can't make out a damn think except the mountains." He commented, sitting back and folding his arms. "So…we just look around as long as it takes to find it?" Po asked, Tigress nodding. "That seems about right. We'll split up and try and find it, and if one of us does, we need to alert the others before we explore it. A lot of bad stuff could be in there waiting for us."

The group nodded, and after more discussion, slowly drifted to sleep. When morning came, the group did as they had planned, though Po was very groggy when he first started. Each had forgotten more resistant clothes to the cold, and it was beginning to take its toll on the group. Po found himself high on the side of one mountain, his breathing even more short and ragged by the thin air. He shivered with the cold, and kept trying to look for anything irregular. He saw Tigress and Mitch in the distance, each with no luck as well.

He sighed, and began to walk down the slope when he felt himself step on something that felt like stone, and while still walking, the ground opened up and he fell down a dark hole yelling. He landed on the hard ground, but his fat broke the fall, to his satisfaction. He looked around, and saw that he couldn't find a way out of the hole, as there was nothing to grab onto.

"Echo!" He yelled like a child as his voice carried around the room.

The panda moved around the room, squinting and seeing the same strange markings as on the key. He felt in his pocket, and found that the key was still there. He sighed with relief, thinking he had lost it like he loses everything else, and kept going around the room.

"Po! Where are you?" Tigress yelled, Po running back to the hole and looking for her, but did not see her. "I'm over here!" He responded. "We'll be right there, Po! Stay put!"

The panda moved back, and went looking around the room again as a kid would. He pushed away dust, and eventually found a small keyhole with a woman's drawing next to it. He scratched his head, and without thinking of Tigress's previous command, put the key in and twisted it. A groan was heard, and the wall began to shake. Po stepped back, and the wall split into two halves, and folding to the right and left like doors, revealing a blue portal. His jaw dropped, and his eyes widened. He stepped forward, trying to get a closer look…only tripping on a rock. The panda yelped and fell through the portal.

"I'm dead! I'm dead! I'm dead!" Po told himself, lying on the ground with his eyes closed. He slowly opened his eyes, and saw the environment around him.

He had entered what seemed to be another dimension, seeing asteroids and galaxies all around him. In front of him, a large sphinx was before him, flames on either side of the face. He heard laughter, and he was terrified.

"Who are you, and why do you come to my kingdom of Morbia?" The villainous voice demanded. Po stuttered. "I-I'm Po…Po Ping…and I'm here…because I tripped." The panda said, hearing another roar of laughter. "Well 'Po Ping', that is an excellent reason to come to my forbidden kingdom." The female said.

The flames rose, and out of the sphinx came a slender cat with grey fur and bright green eyes, wearing a ruby dress and an Egyptian headdress. Po was terrified, and she smirked.

"I am Mirage, Queen of Evil" She purred. "We have much to discuss…"

Po began to back up but with the snap of her finger, he began to float, and was thrown into a side of the sphinx. Po groaned and fell near the edge of the void. He was startled and rolled back to more ground, only to be picked up again and thrown into the sphinx by the feline. This time, before he could get up again, he was picked up and suspended in the air, the cat walking up to him slowly, savoring her quick victory.

"Where have you come from, Po Ping?" She asked. "Isn't kind of obvious? That portal that is in the mountains that leads right to here?" Po asked. "I don't keep up much with the mortal world." She said. "Where I built the portal was probably not where you are from." Po nodded. "Yeah…I'm from China, home of noodles and bean buns…" He answered. "I see. And why did you come? Besides tripping…" She demanded. "I was…supposed to use the key we found to find a relic…" Po answered her. "And I wish I hadn't now…" Mirage smiled and nodded. "Yes, you will regret that you came here."

"Put him down, bitch." A voice called, Mirage turning and seeing Tigress and Mitch standing at the entrance, in stances ready to fight. "Oh, the more the merrier!" She cooed and tried to levitate them and trap them as she did with Po, but was unable to do so. "It seems your powers only work on the weak-minded." Mitch said boldly. "Yeah!" Po cheered smiling, but slowly losing his smile. "Wait…what?" Mirage growled. "So be it! If you will not be slaves, then you will die where you stand!" She yelled, bringing her hands back and charging a ball of energy before bringing her hands forward and shooting the energy at the two.

Tigress and Mitch dodged just in time, the explosion barely missing them. Tigress went on all fours and charged at Mirage, dodging several more shots of energy. She went back on her legs and swung her fist at the cat, only to have her arm grabbed and her body thrown over Mirage's head and onto the hard ground. Mitch fired a bolt of lightning at her, which she deflected effortlessly and nearly hitting him. Angered at the uselessness of his power, he charged forward, swinging several times but Mirage dodging each attack. She grabbed him by the throat, and lifted him up off of the ground with one hand.

"So brave, but so futile." She said with a purr. "If we can work this out…" Mitch said, struggling for breath. "Would you like to get dinner sometime?" Mirage smiled and laughed. "I'll think about it." She replied before throwing Mitch into a wall, his bones crunching against the hard stone. "Damn, what a woman." Mitch said through a smile, groaning.

Without time to react, Tigress slammed her fists into Mirage's stomach, sending her tumbling to the ground and making Po fall to the ground with a thud. Tigress ran to him and helped him up.

"Haul ass! We're getting out of here!" She yelled to him, the two beginning to run out of the sphinx. "You will not leave here so easily!" Mirage yelled, the two beginning to dodge more bolts of energy.

Mitch followed close behind, and when he saw that Mirage was about to shoot his friends, he hit her with a bolt of electricity. She growled in rage, and by the time she recovered from the blast, Po and Tigress were about to reach the portal.

"No!" She yelled as she watched Po and Tigress smirk at her and run through the portal, and Mitch turning around before he went through it to tell her one last thing. "Write to me, ok?" He asked, and without her approval went through the portal.

Once inside, they pulled the key from the portal, and Mirage was unable to use the portal to get to them.

"This is not the end, Po Ping!" She said through bared fangs, and went back to her home.

"That was…awesome!" Po commented, to the panting Tigress and Mitch who lay on the ground recovering. "Let's do it again!" The two looked at the panda, glaring. "What?"

…

The group relayed all of the past events to Master Shifu, the wise master taking in the information with little surprise.

"Mirage…yes, I knew we would encounter her sooner or later. That goddess is one not to be messed with. Still, I wish the key went to something a bit more…helpful, rather than another foe." Shifu said, the three nodding. "Well, now that everything is back to normal again, resume your duties. Glad to have you all back." He said with a bow, and left them.

"We need to sign up for more special duties like that." Po said excitedly. "Go find the legendary Terra Cotta Warriors, or the mythical land of Rome, or…" Tigress cut him off. "Ok, Po, we get it." Mitch nudged Tigress on the shoulder, the feline turning to him. "Hey, you wouldn't happen to still have that key on you, would you?" He asked. "Yeah, why?" She asked. "Nothing really…just wanted to keep it as a souvenir." Tigress nodded and handed him the key. "Ok…just don't lose it if Shifu wants it back." Mitch nodded and Tigress turned to Po. "So…you booked the hot springs, right?" Po grinned and nodded. "Yep, we got the whole night to ourselves." The panda replied. "Awesome," She said, trying to imitate Po's way of saying it. "Ok, love birds" Mitch said and walked away, leaving the two to walk out of the palace and enjoy the day together.

A/N: So glad to be working again guys! I will try to post the next chapter for this soon, as well as a brand new story!