Little by little Phantalmina and her friends learned many new things about the blood-bands. Some of them were confusing then others. Like the part Phantom said they will be like her, she realized it first. Demeter and Jemima stayed all day with Phantalmina without going hunting, but they weren't hungry at all during all night. Then they all recalled that Phantalmina only ate once a week. And now, so did they. Not only Demeter and Jemima, so did Justin and the rest of them who had the blood-bands.
All that made Phantalmina feel worse for this matter. More she learned the consequences from her actions, she didn't dared to face Ashley . She hardly saw her when she woke up. She did recognized her form roosting far away in the seat boxes, but she didn't have courage to call her. She still left her plate of fruits, although she now ate it once a week as well.
But mostly, the hardest part for everyone was that Phantalmina didn't played nor sing much anymore. Most of the time she was in her bed, laying down. When she got out of it, she didn't do much. She just went outside to buy more food for her friends who still needed to eat, or locked herself in the office to write her sad feelings as a sad songs.
12 weeks has past since that night and Phantalmina stayed in the office writing lyrics for her new song.
"Mina? Are you in there?" came behind the office door. Phantalmina snapped out from her lyrics recognizing Demeter's voice and there was no doubt she noticed Luna's figure on the door's window.
"Please, I like to be alone."she sighed. Till another voice came from the door and she could tell who else was there with them.
"Told ya she would say that." Phantalmina rolled her eyes knowing Tugger was there starting another foolish round.
"Tugger, don't help!"
"Hey. I'm just saying."
Phantalmina sighed and placed her notes safe before coming out from the office. Once opening the door she saw Demeter, Tugger, Dusk and Luna close to the doorway.
"I'm going out." she simply said without showing her feelings and walked by them.
"Mina... please." Luna tried to talk to her but Demeter shook her head to leave her alone.
Phantalmina was just getting close to the stage getting to the mirror, it was then when she noticed Ashley roosting close to the ceiling just above her. Being able to look at her now closely was hard on Phantalmina, her eyes started to get watery seeing her with the bands. It was hard to tell was she mad at her, she still was little far away to tell. Phantalmina walked quickly away before she started to cry or make things worse for her.
Ashley did noticed her moving though, but there wasn't any moment to talk. In fact she wasn't sure she could talk to Mina. Not sure did she even wanted to talk to her. She went to fast away. But still, her eyes looked so sad. It all was still so confusing to her.
Ashley soon took a flight. She needed air. Not sure how far she could go now with the blood-bands, so she tried to go to the rooftop. She took notice that Justin was going to the same way to the roof, by foot of course. She lowed herself close to him.
"Justin? Where are you going?" she asked still flying. Justin turned quickly to spot her and kept moving to the roof.
"I saw Mina going this way up to the roof instead to the mirror. She seemed so miserable then usual in these days."
"Mina? She did came out from the office, and she did looked sad. But why would she go to the roof?" Ashley asked even though she wasn't sure should she go there to see her. But to be honest, she was worried about seeing her like that and now knowing her to be up there.
"I can only guess a reason." Justin replied little worried.
They both managed to get to the roof close to the frontage of the theater. They were able to see Phantalmina now in there, some distance away from them in the middle of the roof. She didn't noticed them, her back was turned to the frontage. She sat on her knees and looked up into the sky. Even though the summer nights were short, but there still was some darkness and few stars shining in the night sky.
Ashley and Justin didn't move from their spot, since they saw Phantalmina and heard her singing.
Mama, can you hear me? Mama, are you near me? Looking at the skies Where are you now that yesterday The world I see is so much bigger now that I'm alone.
Mama, can you see me?
Mama, can you find me in the night?
Mama, can you hear me?
Mama, can you help me not be frightened?
I seem to see a million eyes
Which ones are yours?
Has waved goodbye
And closed its doors?
The night is so much darker.
The wind is so much colder
All that time, Phantalmina only sat there on her knees. Closing her eyes and then opening them again to look at the sky. Having tears running her face.
Mama, please forgive me. Can you hear me praying, I remember ev'rything you taught me Mama, how I love you.
Try to understand me.
Mama, don't you know I had no choice?
Anything I'm saying,
Even though the night is filled with voices?
Ev'ry book I've ever read.
Can all the words in all the books
Help me to face what lies ahead?
The trees are so much taller
And I feel so much smaller.
The moon is twice as lonely
And the stars are half as bright.
Mama, how I need you.
Mama, how I miss you
Kissing me goodnight
For moment there was a silence after the song. Only sounds of the streets broke it. But soon Justin and Ashley could recognized sound of sobbing coming from Phantalmina. She was crying.
Justin moved closer to her. Ashley just stood still. That sad song somehow moved her and left her hold still. Somehow she felt like she herself wanted to cry as well.
Phantalmina had her head down, crying like she never had a chance to cry before. Maybe because she was able to sing it out without judgement.
"Phantalmina?"
Phantalmina gasped hearing her name knowing that means she wasn't alone on the roof. She turned to look around and saw Justin right next to her. He quickly climbed by her arm and sat on her shoulder. Been able to see her sad eyes, her tears were coming down and her lips were trembling. Phantalmina hiccuped couple time. Justin just gave her a kind and warm smile so she won't be scarred.
"Shh. It's okay. Don't worry." he spoke softly to her petting her cheek.
Phantalmina couldn't help herself letting few sobs out. She wanted someone to comfort her, hug her. She wanted her mother.
"I... I never wanted this." she sobbed.
"What?"
"I never wanted to hurt you, or turn you all into a freaks like me."
Justin had an compassionate look on her. He tried to lift her face a little with his paw to make her look at him again.
"Oh Mina. You are not a freak."
"Yes I am!" She snapped. "My mother was a human and my father is a well known phantom, a monster. I'm too hideous and weird to be a human and I'm too humane to be a real phantom! What else would you call it?!"
"Special." Justin answered kindly.
Phantalmina was speechless by his answer. She didn't know how to react on that. Was this what they all think of her? Phantalmina looked down trying to gather her thoughts. Her eyes were still letting tears run down making her sight little unclear. Her lips were trembling. It almost looked like she was about to cry again, but she hold still like she wasn't sure about anything. Once Justin touched her cheek again she snapped to look at him again.
"No one is mad at you. We are just worried about you." he said to her. Phantalmina let few hiccups before answering that.
"What about Ashley? She surely doesn't want to be near me."
Justin hesitated to answer that. He took quick look behind him seeing Ashley was still there listening them. Her face was kinda questioning. Hard to tell what she was thinking right now. Justin looked back on Phantalmina who remind still.
"What makes you think that? Have you talk about it with her?" Phantalmina did noticed his hesitation, but she didn't care.
"No. But she is avoiding me for sure. I believe she hates me. I would too if someone took my freedom too."
"How can you believe such thing about her? I do know she is sad, but … I don't think she hates you. For goodness sake Mina, you saved her life."
"But with what cost? Even if I find her family, she can't leave. I ruined it all."
"Now stop talking like that! You didn't do nothing wrong. Your father tricked you. If someone has to be blamed about this, it's him." Justin let it out.
Phantalmina looked at him shocked a little, but then she tried to smile a little. It was obvious that he was trying to cheer her up when though she has acted so hard right now.
"Can I ask you something?" Phantalmina's question got Justin little by surprise."Why did you wanted to take the blood-bands? You have a colony of rats to look after. And you could still find your match someday and have a family."
Justin rubbed back of his head before answering.
"I used to have someone long time ago." he started. Phantalmina looked little amazed to be hearing his story but she didn't say a thing, she wanted to hear more.
"The others and me, we were lab rats. The humans gave us injections that affected our intelligence much, that we know how to get out of that place. We traveled sometime to find a place to live peacefully. I met her close to the one farm we stayed for rest. She and her family later on came with us. But, you see those injections also extended our lifespan. I'm already 28 years old, which is many times for our normal life. But I still look like it hardly has gone a month. She sadly died for old ages some years ago. One of the reasons why me and the colony don't trust humans. But meeting you was one of the exciting moment we never imaged to have. You're different like other humans. You protected us placing that rule and feed us, even though things don't work well for you. You are kind and good. I don't know if we ever meet someone or something like you in this world."
Phantalmina smiled to him for his words. Justin surely is a good friend for her, they all are. But then her smile turned down when her thoughts came back for Ashley.
"What about Ashley? Will she be okay? What should I do?" she asked worryingly.
Justin pet her cheek and answered.
"You don't need to do anything. Just give her little more time."
"But it is so hard. It hurts me the most not knowing will she forgive me." Phantalmina said and looked down feeling sad again.
"Ssh. It's alright." Justin calmed her down. "You can always turn to us when you need to. That's what we are here for." he said and showed his band.
"We always will be her for you."
Phantalmina smiled to him and wiped her eyes before standing up. She placed her hand for Justin, for him to step on her hand and help him down.
"I should be going for get more food for you."
"Nah. You know me and the others don't need to eat anymore till next week." Justin smiled to her. Phantalmina laugh.
"Yeah, maybe you and the other banded ones. But I meant the others without the bands. You know how much they eat." Phantalmina smiled to Justin and placed him down. Justin had still a little worry in his eyes.
"You sure you don't want me to come along?" Phantalmina shake her head.
"It's okay. I just need some air and a walk. Don't worry. I'll be back an hour before dawn." she finished smiling and went down from the ladders that lead to the back.
Once she was gone, Justin turned to look other way where Ashley was. She stood still. Having a little worried look on her. Justin moved closer to her.
"You okay?" he asked.
"I...I'm not sure. She.. she is really feeling bad for me, isn't she?"
Justin didn't answered. He tried to move back inside. Ashley followed him.
"Will she be okay? I mean,.. she won't be like that all the time?" she hesitated to ask.
"I don't know. You did heard our conversation. Maybe you know better what to do."
Ashley went quiet before they reached the stage. She went to sit on the piano and looked at her golden bands.
"You think I should talk to her?" She asked sounding little sad.
Justin looked at her and said friendly.
"Well,.. Like I said, just take some time to think things through. Just for you know, we are here for you too. You are not alone."
Ashley smiled and nod to him. Justin nodded back and returned to his friends. On the other end of the stage.