IIII
"You should really lay off those crab cakes," Caroline advised crinkling up her nose.
"I'm on a sea-food diet, I see food and I eat it," Bonnie explained before adding more onto her plate. "Besides in my condition it's only normal."
"There is nothing normal about your condition! You're pregnant with Damon Salvatore's kid!" the blonde exclaimed. "What are the odds your baby is born with two horns and a red tail?" she asked with an eye roll.
"Come on Damon isn't that bad," Bonnie defended, though only God knows why. She should be cursing Damon to kingdom come.
"See, the pregnancy has already gone to your head," Caroline tsked her expression one of deep worry.
Bonnie frowned. "No, it hasn't."
"Yes it has, you allowed him to move in! You dated Jeremy for how long and he never got that invitation? Guess he wasn't tall, pale and evil enough for your tastes," Caroline said.
Bonnie punched her lightly on the shoulder.
"Don't say stuff like that you know Damon is imposing," she chided.
"And sexy?"
"What does that have to do with anything?"
"Well you wouldn't have landed in this situation if he wasn't. Quick question, is he into kinky stuff?" Caroline asked with a grin.
Bonnie laughed, nearly snorting up her food in her nose.
"No, besides stuff like that are private," She replied wiping at her mouth.
"Oh, he's a biter? Roughens you up a bit?"
"Car, honestly this conversations is headed to creepy really fast," Bonnie said with a roll of her eyes.
"What? I tell you and Elena everything. But fine if you want to keep all the juicy tad bits of your affair a secret I'll shut up…for now."
Bonnie smiled. She wasn't really surprised Caroline was taking her confession well. Sure, she'd seemed stunned at first but then she'd made a joke and all was well again.
"So have you told Jeremy yet?" Caroline asked.
"Nope, I'm stalling," Bonnie admitted picking at her plate, suddenly she wasn't so hungry anymore.
"I foresee an awkward moment," Caroline sing-songed into her glass.
"Me too, but the sooner I tell him the better, right?"
"You are a brave woman my girl. Well you should tell him quick before he finds out by himself," Caroline advised.
Bonnie nodded and pushed her plate away. Of course Caroline was right, but that didn't mean she was jumping in her seat to go tell him. She'd wait and think about it very hard first.
"So what's it like living with Damon?" Caroline asked cleverly changing the topic.
"Well to be honest, it's not as difficult as I'd initially thought…"
"Really, so he's not the messy type?"
"Nope, freakishly neat in fact, I guess living for over a century can do that to you," Bonnie said with a shrug.
"Yep, but it must be scary living with someone who was probably at Shakespeare's christening."
"Caroline! He's not that old!" Bonnie exclaimed to which Caroline only laughed at.
"I smell a corpse," Damon said entering the kitchen.
"It must be that fragrance you got going," Caroline replied dryly.
"Nope, it's just the smell from the bunny you ate before coming here," Damon replied with a smirk.
Bonnie sighed, she wasn't in the mood for one of their word-duels.
Caroline glared at Damon, rising from her chair.
"I'd say act your age Damon, but then you might kneel over and die," she retorted.
"Someone's at the door Caroline, I thinks it's PETA so you better run," Damon said placing his hand behind his ear.
"That joke is so medieval, than again so are you!" Caroline snapped then turned to Bonnie. "I have to go before I'm given more history lessons, talk to you soon, Hon," with a peck on Bonnie's cheek, Caroline was gone.
"Damon, if you're living in my house you'll have to be nicer to my guests! Especially those I consider close friends!" Bonnie snapped clearing up the table.
"Come on Caroline is a big girl, if she can run with the wolves she can handle anything," Damon said with a dismissive wave of the hand.
"Still, be nice."
"Fine I'll try, so ready to go?" He asked holding up her coat.
"I thought I said I'm not going with you," Bonnie said folding her arms over her chest.
"I thought I told you over my undead body," Damon said.
"That can be arranged," Bonnie mumbled shrugging into her coat.
"I heard that."
"That was the intention."
Damon chuckled as he followed behind Bonnie.
/
Having Damon at her check up was far from ideal, but Bonnie was quickly learning which battles were worth pursuing and which weren't.
"Now Damon you promised to behave," Bonnie reminded him as they followed behind Dr. Creggs' assistant.
"I did?"
"Damon," Bonnie growled.
"Fine I'll behave, happy?" he asked rolling his eyes.
The assistant knocked on the door and after being called inside left them to enter.
Bonnie gave Damon one more look before leading the way inside.
"Hello, Dr. Creggs," Bonnie greeted.
Dr. Creggs scribbled a few things on a file, then looked up.
"Hello Bonnie…oh my," Her eyes landing on Damon she lost her words.
"Bonnie what are you doing with Mystic Fall's most eligible bachelor?" she asked rising from her chair.
Bonnie rolled her eyes, she'd thought people had forgotten that feature since she'd tried desperately too.
"Oh Dr. Creggs that's just tabloid stuff," Damon said all nonchalant.
Bonnie glared at him. He was trying to act all humble but she knew he was going to milk it for all it's worth.
"For once the tabloids don't lie, and call me Suzanne no need for formalities here," Dr. Creggs said coyly.
Bonnie stared stunned at her doctor. Was she seriously flirting with Damon?
"Well Suzanne, I can't really argue with your own opinion now," Damon said in his most suave voice.
"No you can't especially now that I've seen you with my own two eyes!" Dr. Creggs giggled.
Yes she giggled, a forty year old plus woman was giggling shamelessly.
"Now Suzanne, behave yourself," Damon said in a stern voice though he grinned with a wicked glint in his eyes.
Dr. Creggs placed a hand over her mouth stifling the giggles. It was enough to make Bonnie nauseous.
"Oh but you will love this, look up," Dr. Creggs gushed with excitement.
Bonnie raised her eyes to the ceiling and groaned, wishing she hadn't. Above the examination bed was a poster, a poster of a half naked Damon Salvatore.
"Now that's obviously photo shopped!" Damon exclaimed all modest.
"No I am a doctor, I can tell that's all male," Dr. Creggs said with appreciation in her voice.
Call it karma, or just plain bad luck. But how was it the very same article feature that had gotten her here was the same feature she'd be forced to stare at from the examination bed?
If she hadn't been forced to do the stupid feature she wouldn't have been in close proximate with a half naked Damon and then she wouldn't have gotten side tracked and landed in bed with him.
Yes, a whole lot wouldn't have happened if she hadn't done that feature.
"Well, you are the doctor, how can I possible argue against your expert opinion?" Damon asked with a shrug.
"Can we get started?" Bonne demanded getting really tired of this courtship that was all kinds of wrong.
"Oh sorry dear I forgot all about you," Dr. Creggs admitted with a blush, her eyes still lost on Damon.
You think?
"Well you should throw on a gown and we can get started then," Dr. Creggs said mentioning her to the changing room.
Bonnie grumbled to herself and went to change. When she re-entered Dr. Creggs was listening animatedly to Damon. She was a minute away from drooling.
"I'm ready," Bonnie said in an unnecessary loud voice.
"I'm old not deaf dear," Dr. Creggs said picking up the transducer.
Bonnie lay down on the bed propping her feet in the stirrups. It was still uncomfortable, she was never going to get used to this.
"Relax dear, so Damon you were telling me how you swept Bonnie of her feet," Dr. Creggs said while inserting the offending device.
Bonnie glanced at Damon giving him a look. When was the sweeping being done and why was it only now that she'd heard of it? The look seemed to say. Damon of course ignored it.
"Well Suzy," Damon began.
Suzy? Three minutes and they're at Suzy?
"Bonnie here can be very stubborn, but when I set out to make her mine I was more determined," Damon said, all serious like he was telling some epic romance.
Bonnie had not been wooed.
"I knew there was more to life than just…I don't know being Mystic Fall's Most Eligible Bachelor?" Damon said with an emphasis that only Bonnie caught.
"How noble of you," Dr. Creggs said her eyes not glued where they were supposed to be glued at!
"Yes, being noble is one of my many faults," Damon admitted as if he truly found being noble a burden he had to endure!
Bonnie couldn't believe Dr. Creggs was literally eating all of this up.
"How can we fault you, what you cannot control?" Dr. Creggs cried all sympathetic.
So enraptured by Damon she jabbed the device in Bonnie's uterus causing her to yelp in pain.
"Are you planning on giving me a hysterectomy with that?" Bonnie snapped
"Oh sorry dear, oh I see something," Dr. Creggs said hastily turning back to the screen.
"Forgive Bon Bon Suzy, it's the hormones talking," Damon said smoothing out her hair.
The perfect father-to-be. And really on Bonnie's last nerve.
"No problem at all Damon, I'm around expectant mothers all the time. Now see there?" she asked pointing to some grey-black matter.
"You mean that fuzzy unidentifiable blob?" Bonnie asked.
"That blob is your baby," Dr. Creggs said shifting the camera angle. "And that sound is the heartbeat."
"It's beautiful," Damon said softly.
"It's a blob," Bonnie stated.
"Well, it's still in the early stages of development but I can already see an imprint of a spinal cord, so your baby is growing just fine," Dr. Creggs said with a smile.
"We can take the ultra scans right?" Damon asked his eyes fixed on the screen.
Bonnie was slightly surprised by Damon's request, he seemed genuine about it too.
"Of course, I'll just print them for you," Dr. Creggs said finally pulling out the camera.
Bonnie stole a glance at Damon, it was so easy figuring out the crazy homicidal vampire Damon, but this Damon was a completely new enigma to her.
He was still as sarcastic and mischievous as ever but something in him had changed. He almost seemed to have a heart and that bothered Bonnie.
It was easy protecting her heart against a heartless vampire, she wasn't so sure if it would still be as easy against one that had one.
Besides it would be stupid falling for Damon, who had made it public knowledge that his heart belonged to Elena.
It would be extremely stupid but unfortunately for her, she'd been doing a lot of stupid things lately.