A/N:

Thank you guys so much for the reviews! I really appreciated the comments that were consoling me after what I went through last week, so I had actually written this update last week…

However, I got laid off from work (GOD DAMN IT!) so my unlimited internet access is more restricted. I'm actually able to work right now because my mom is doing hair and the client's house has wi-fi. Okay, let's go.

Big thanks to: FMJ26 (You came back, yay!), Alexa Hiwatari, Zetsu's Rose (thanks for the advice! I kind of took it and just made another amv on YouTube), and CL1005.

Now, like I said in the last update, I am not going in order of MLP. Especially since someone released an official, accurate chronology of the episode timeline.

The sun was shining down on the beautiful Oceanside village of Adamant Falls, especially on the bountiful crops of Goldleaf Farms. "Damn… Do I have my work cut out for me…" Hidan whistled out as he looked at all the trees and plants in bloom. "I've never seen such a harvest before! It's like all the fucking crops sprouted up at once!" Next to the cat-demon, Kakuzu was standing and tying one of his arms up in a make-shift sling.

"And of course this would be the week that I broke my arm – Shit!" He hissed as he accidently made the sling around his injured arm too tight (how did it happen? We may never – he was cutting down a dead tree and it fell on him). Hidan fumed out,

"Kakuzu, how many times do I have to tell you to get your ass to a hospital?", before he grabbed the stitch-demon's arm and pulled, "I'm about to drag you there myself if you don't—" Kakuzu's eyes went wide from pain as he yelled,

"Let go, let go, let go!" That only caused Hidan to huff,

"See! And besides, you need to stop worrying!" Kakuzu looked at his wife's glaring ruby eyes and stern posture before he finally sighed,

"Look, if I do go to the hospital, you have to promise to have the kids help you out with this."

"I don't have to." Hidan immediately turned down that idea, "I'll have a quarter of all this done by nightfall!"

"…" Kakuzu's silence caused Hidan to deadpan,

"You're thinking that my mouth is writing a check that my ass can't cash, huh?"

"… Pretty much."

"Fucking..!" The albino had to stop himself before he calmed himself down and began again, "Look, this is me we're talking about: Hidan Shiroi Hoku, your wife and the most responsible cat-demon this side of the world?"

"And you're still only one cat-demon…" Kakuzu stated, bringing up the facts, "Do the math with me Hidan: one cat-demon plus thousands of fruit and vegetable crops does not add up."

"Don't you try and confuse me with your fancy mathematic-skills!" Hidan gave a roll of his eyes before crying out, poking Kakuzu's chest with each syllable, "Mark my words, Kakuzu: this season I will make this farm my bitch!" Kakuzu was quiet for a minute. Then he asked,

"There's no convincing you otherwise on this, is there?"

"No way in hell."

"Fine!" Kakuzu groaned, "I'm going to head over to the farm-gates so Kisame can give me a lift to the hospital. Just…" He gave a heavy sigh, "Just don't over-do it, okay?"

"Go on, stitches." Hidan dismissed the other with a wave of his hand. And then, only then, when Kakuzu was out of earshot, Hidan's ears drooped a little from a combination of worrying for his husband and how the hell he was going to get this work done.

Hidan strolled about the farm, slightly wondering which section he should work on first. He finally decided on apples because, hell, they were the closest. "Better get to work. Can't just hope for some random act of violence to scare all these fruits and vegetables out of their holds." Suddenly, a large rumble went through the ground, causing one of the apples in the tree to shake loose and fall on Hidan's head. "Ow! The fuck?" He turned around, expecting to chastise one of his kids, but gasping out, "Shit…", as he saw the cause of the shaking.

Back near the main part of Adamant Falls, Kisame had just come back from taking Kakuzu to the hospital, but even as he swam through the water he could feel the earth shaking. With a large splash, he broke through the surface and looked out onto the land. He flinched when a cloud of dust could be seen over the horizon and he called out, "Stampede!"

The residents of the town all began screaming as they heard the cry for you see, there were two major farms in Adamant: Goldleaf Farms, which was an all-around farm-land, and MallowHoof (the wife named it) which raised, you guessed it, cows.

Lots.

And lots.

Of cows.

And occasionally, the farmers would lose control of their livestock causing disaster of epic proportions for the village below. And even now, if you were crazy enough to look into the dust-cloud, you would see two demons hanging onto a cow for dear life.

But back to Adamant Falls. Demons all over began running for shelter, gathering their children, shutting their doors, and… letting themselves be carried along the road?

"Hey..!" Tobi giggled as the vibrations of the ground moved him across it, "This… makes… Tobi's… voice… sound… funny!"

"Tobi, get out of the streets!" Itachi shouted, trying to get his cousin to safety. While the town was in chaos, Tsunade was trying to slow them down,

"Could everyone calm down for just a second?"

"But what are we going to do Tsunade-hime!" Deidara shouted as he rushed over in a sense of over-dramatics, "All hope is lost, un!"

"Look!" Sasori called out, pointing towards the incoming stampede. Amongst all the cows storming the land, you could barely see a blur of white by them. After some of the dust shifted, it was revealed to be Hidan on the back of a white panther with pink eyes. Everyone cheered and whooped as the albino was apparently trying to divert the stampede.

"Let's go Aya!" Hidan shouted to the panther, "Split up in three… two… now!" Hidan jumped off of Aya's back and began running alongside the stampede.

"I can't watch!" Deidara clasped his hands over his eyes. But Tobi had somehow gotten a box of popcorn and was beaming,

"This is the best rodeo that Tobi's ever seen!", before he swallowed a handful of it. Itachi sighed and asked Zetsu,

"How do you deal with him?", to which the plant-demon replied,

"I'm a very patient demon."

Back in the stampede, Hidan was shoving up against the cows, yelling, "Come on! Turn, damn it! Turn!" After a moment, he smirked and called out, "Aya, give them some motivation!" The panther nodded before bounding up to the front of the herd. When she was able to be seen, she let out a loud roar that sacred the cows into turning away from the village.

"Now stop!" Hidan yelled when the cows had gotten to a safe point.

"Oh thank the gods that they stopped…" One of the herders whispered in relief. But Hidan walked up to them and hissed,

"What in Jashin's name was all that about?"

"Moo- I mean, well you see," One of the cow-herding demons explained, "Someone decided that it would be funny to show off his wooden snake-toy to the cows." She gave a pointed stare to her fiancé before sighing, "Need I say anything else?"

"It's fine." Hidan nodded, "Just invest in getting that new fence, okay guys?" The two cow-herders nodded before they began to direct their herds back to their farm,

"Sure thing! Bye Hidan, say hi to Kakuzu for me!" Hidan shook his head before jumping back onto Aya's back and riding back to the entrance of Adamant Falls. "Everyone okay?" He called out. Everyone gave him a general positive response, so the albino nodded before he began to ride back to Goldleaf.

"That cat-demon sure has grown up during these past few years." Tsunade commented, remembering how wild the albino used to be. "Well, our town has once again averted disaster. Tobi, can you organize a banquet?"

"Can I ever!" The young demon exclaimed.

They decided for a breakfast banquet for next week, so as not to mess with the daily working schedules too much. Everyone was busy setting up the long banquet tables and filling them with food and drink, while others decorated for the event.

"Perfect, un!" Deidara hummed as he finished tying up a large, ruby-shaded ribbon. Sasori, who was checking on the color-scheme of the banquet, nodded in satisfaction,

"Now we just have to wait for show-time!"

"Everything looks great guys…" Itachi commented as he watched the preparations being finished, but then he thought, "Where is Hidan anyway?"

"Haven't seen him since I helped Kakuzu get to the Adamant Sea Hospital a week ago." Kisame answered as he cleaned out the decorative fountain that had been brought in, "But he'll be here! Hidan's never late!"

It was nearing lunch and Hidan was still nowhere to be seen. The only thing that was still keeping up its moral was the trophy that had been made in Hidan's honor. Just when people were about to start leaving, however,

"Hold up bitches!" Everyone turned and saw a messy head of white wobbling through the crowd. "I'm here! Just had to…" Yawn. "Just had to get my kids ready for school, make lunches, and clean the house… Then some more stuff and—Oh, did I get your tail? Apologies!" After a couple more bumps and yawns, Hidan slowly walked onto the stage, causing everyone to collectively raise an eyebrow.

The albino cat-demon's hair was a matted mess, his clothes filthy, and he was carrying two baskets full of apples and peaches on his back as he tiredly took center-seat from Tsunade and announced, "Thanks guys for this…" He squinted his ruby eyes, bags beginning to form underneath them, "Award… Thing. Nice and shiny… Hey, I look funny~!" Hidan purred as he looked at his reflection in the crystal statue. "Whoo~whoo!"

"Okay…" Itachi raised a brow before speaking, "We just wanted to hold this event because of how helpful you always are."

"Yep!" Hidan nodded, almost falling asleep on his feet, "I love… helping people out and… and stuff…" With another yawn, the cat-demon promptly dozed off while standing.

"Hidan?" Deidara called out, Hidan snapping back into consciousness,

"What? Huh? Oh yeah, thanks guys!", and dragging the trophy off-stage as he slowly made his way back home.

"Was it me…" Itachi began, "Or did Hidan seem a little—"

"Tired?" Kisame offered.

"Dizzy?" Zetsu asked.

"Messy?" That one came from Deidara who immediately added, "What? I mean, did you see his hair, un?" Itachi only shook his head before he spoke,

"I'm going to go check on him. Excuse me." He snapped his fingers before he disappeared in a red flash.

A series of slashes were performed in front of a cherry tree before all the fruit showered down into baskets below. Potatoes were quickly dug out of the ground. Strawberries were slowly plucked from the ground. And apples were sluggishly being knocked from their trees.

Standing up and stretching out a bad kink in his back, Hidan yawned and looked around. He took a step towards the grapevines and tripped over the apple baskets, sending all his work to the ground. "Damn it…" He whispered, panting as he knelt down and began picking the fruit up.

"Hidan?" Said cat-demon looked up and saw Itachi walking over.

"Oh, hey Itachi…" Hidan smiled before he went back to work.

"What is all this?" The weasel-demon asked. Hidan replied, still picking up fruit,

"Every so often, the land will get a surge of chakra that makes all the crops grow at once. At these times," He broke off into another yawn, "Me and Kakuzu gather them up to earn a bit of extra money…" Itachi could only ask as Hidan went to go knock on another tree,

"But why are you doing it by yourself?"

"Kakuzu's in the hospital…" Hidan yawned, knocking on the tree; a few apples falling. "Broke his arm…"

"What about the kids?" The brunette offered, Hidan immediately retorting,

"They have to go to school!" He panted for a second before he explained, "From the day… That I had my first child, I swore that there would be nothing to stop them from getting an education…"

"But you obviously can't do this by yourself!"

"Like hell I can't!" Hidan hissed back before punching the tree, the rest of the apples falling into the baskets below. "See? If I do all the work, my kids won't have to worry about anything but school-work. So, I should get back to work…"

"Okay…" Itachi shrugged his shoulders moving away from Hidan. But Hidan tilted his head, asking,

"Can you move aside, Itachi?"

"I just did!" Itachi replied from at least five feet away.

"Oh." Hidan shook his head, moving onto the tomato-garden. "Everything's just fine Ita—FUCK!" He yowled as he tripped over the wire-fencing of the tomato-garden.

"I would be more than happy to help you out, Hidan…" Itachi offered, just for Hidan to snap back,

"I'm fine Itachi! I don't have to bother anyone because this'll be done in no time!" Itachi could pretty much sense that this was going nowhere, so he simply teleported back home; saying,

"Just don't overdo it." As he left. When he was alone, Hidan nearly fell asleep amongst the vibrant red fruits before he remembered,

"Fuck! Kisame needed me to help him do something!"

Kisame was sitting on a good-sized boat as he waited for Hidan to show up. It was mid-afternoon, though, and he was starting to get a bit worried…

"Sorry, sorry!" Hidan called out as he rushed onto the boat at top-speed, "I was busy working and I lost track of time!" He yawned again before asking, "What was this training you need my help with?" Kisame smiled, rowing out for a little while, before patting the boulder next to him.

"Just some simple weight training. You see, I cut this guy from the bigger one besides you so I can swim with it down into the undersea current and hopefully gather enough speed so that when I throw it, it will shatter into smaller pieces; hopefully containing a precious stone or two." Hidan gulped, looking at the two large boulders,

"Isn't that kind of… Dangerous?"

"Not for a water-demon!" Kisame smiled, tying one end of a rope to himself. Hidan returned the gesture, saying,

"You're probably right…" But when he looked at the water, a shiver went through his spine.

"Come on Hidan, tie the rope!" Kisame exclaimed with a smile. Hidan took his end of the rope and looked at the two rocks, trying to remember which one to tie up. But in his exhaustion-laced mind, the two rocks looked the same and kept switching places with one another. He ended up tying the rope the giant boulder and then Kisame said, "Now just push it over the side of the boat…"

It took a bit of pushing, but Hidan almost had the rock over the edge of the boat. It was then that Kisame turned around and nearly screamed, "Wait, no!" But Hidan had already pushed the boulder over, yanking Kisame under the waves, "HIDAN~!"

"You're welcome!"

Itachi was taking a stroll along the beach later that day, looking for a group of sea-shells that he had seen in one of the library's books of beach-related items. He was about to pick up a pretty sunset-orange one when he saw a group of fishing demons struggling to pull up a catch.

"It's a big one isn't it?" He commented as he walked over. They all agreed and with one final heave, they pulled it up, revealing, "Kisame?" The shark-demon was panting, his eyes wide, and his pants torn from fighting with the current. "My gods, do you need any help?" Kisame slowly turned his head and gritted out,

"I think… that someone else… could use your help."

"Hidan?" Itachi asked.

"Oh yeah."

Hidan was currently picking acorns up from beneath the acorn trees back at Goldleaf. He had gotten a good handful but when he stood up, he slammed the back of his head against a tree branch. "Shit! Fucking… Ouch!" He had hit himself so hard that his ears were ringing. Which explained how when Itachi teleported in and asked,

"Hidan, can we talk?" Hidan replied,

"Can bees squawk? I don't know about that, but thanks for reminding me about the bees! I have to harvest their honey later on today."

"What? No!" Itachi screamed, "I need to talk to you!"

"You need to walk to the zoo?" Hidan asked, "What's stopping you?"

"I NEED TO TALK TO YOU!" Itachi screamed again, Hidan nodding,

"Oh! Why didn't you just say so?" Rather than have a conniption, Itachi sighed,

"I saw Kisame today—"

"That's nice!" Hidan nodded, "I always knew you two would get along great!"

"No, I literally saw him about to be sold for 3.50 a pound after he had to be fished up from underwater!"

"Oh, right…" Hidan yawned, taking a seat on the ground, "I wasn't really on my A-game this morning…"

"Because you need help!" Itachi exclaimed, Hidan raising an eyebrow,

"Kelp? I don't even like seaweed that much!"

"Help, Hidan, Help!" Itachi corrected, shaking the cat-demon's shoulders.

"No! I don't!" Hidan hissed before he looked at the sky and noticed, "It's about time the kids start coming home from school. I gotta go make them dinner and get them to bed…" The albino wobbled away towards the house, Itachi shaking his head,

"Gods help that stubborn demon.", before he teleported home for the evening.

A/N: Please review!

-Tyranno's girl