I do some crazy-ass things when I'm drunk. Not go skinny-dipping-in-the-neighbor's-pool crazy. Not wear-a-tank-top-and-short-shorts-in-winter crazy. But make-out-with-my-exboyfriend-I've-been-trying-to-forget-for-the-past-five-years crazy, who not to mention is married. The worst part isn't the killer hangover the next day, it's that I can remember every single detail of the retarded things I do when I'm drunk as a skunk. Really, I should have my own JACKASS show. I'd win like a bazillion Emmys.
It all started at Mitchie and Shane's Christmas party at The Grand America Hotel. Apparently this little shindig is annual. Why wasn't I invited? Everyone knows only Caitlyn Gellar brings the life to a party. Love was definitely in the air, or should I say lust? This whole party reeked of love fest, not holiday cheer. Mitchie got a band called Love is the Reason. Ironic, huh? Mitchie and Shane were upstairs doing only God knows what. I have a feeling God really didn't want to know.
Jason and a girl named Rachael were dancing to the beat of a song called Camp Rockians. Wow Mitch, who's brilliant idea was it to write a song about a camp? I bet Shane paid Love is the Reason big bucks to write that one. Cause Shane's just the brightest crayon in the box. This place was full of memories of you. I still wear the Vera Wang Princess you gave me, and my hair is loose like you liked it.
I was making my way over to the open bar when I saw you. You looked exactly the same, but a little bit buffer and older. There was a woman that striked a scary resemblance to me on your arm. I assume she's your wife, Alyson. And out of nowhere, Mitchie just popped out and said with a perky voice, "Caitlyn, you simple MUST catch up with Nate." Before I knew any better (And trust me, if I had known any better, I would have dashed the other direction in a second), Mitchie was leading me towards you and the Mini-me. She was wearing a satin green bubble dress with her hair in a loose bun. She's stunning, Natey. I must give you props for getting a good replacement.
I hear her say, "Well Naitlyn meets again. Caitlyn, Alyson. Alyson, Caitlyn." Wait what? I felt myself getting slightly annoyed with Mitchie. I really didn't want to be dragged into this.
But all my irritation melts away with the sound of your voice. "Good to see you again, Caity. You look gorgeous as always" ARGH, why does your voice have to be so enchanting. Actually why are YOU so enchanting? I looked from you to the woman on your arm with the sparkling rock on her finger, and looked back again. She was sending me daggers with her piercing eyes. I didn't know what to say, but what was exactly running through my head: "I need a drink". So I walked away to the bar, and ordered an apple martini. It was difficult, considering the slinky metallic dress I was wearing. Red and Green is SOOOO overrated.
Halfway through my third martini and almost at the end of telling the bartender my life story, you popped out of nowhere. But this time, without Alyson. You started the small talk with a casual hey, and ordered a scotch on the rocks. I smiled at the order. Nothing's changed about you.
But I can't do this. I snipped a "Cut the small talk, Nate. Where's your wife?" I know there's no chance of us getting back together, so why don't I just end it before it ever starts. I need to protect myself, I can't get broken again.
"Dancing with Shane. So how've ya been?" you replied, as if everything was perfect, and everything that ever went down between us was nonexistent. That's a lot of stuff to ignore.
By that time, I REALLY couldn't do this. So I did the one thing I've learned to shut you up. I couldn't listen to you talk as if we were just old friends. It worked in the past. Deep in my heart, I kinda wanted to do it. So I grabbed you by the beautiful curls and kissed you with all my energy, all my anger at you for not fighting for us, all my sadness that our ship had sailed, and all my hidden joy for seeing you again.
Surprisingly, you kissed back, with just as much passion. Mmmm, you even tasted the same, like cinnamon toothpaste. When we finally pulled apart, you looked in my eyes and said just one word that took my breath away, "Caity." My name on your lips just sounds so right. But you know what's not right? Canoodling with a married man. Married means a wife. And guess who was standing in front of us with a shocked expression on her face? Alyson, you got it. DING DING DING. You and I both saw her. I pushed you away, hoping you would go after her. She didn't deserve this. This was my fault. But instead, you just held me tighter as Alyson walked away, pale as a ghost. As if that were possible. Snicker snicker.
"It's okay" you coo in my ear as I start to cry. What the hell are you talking about? I just did the one thing I swore I'd never do. I kissed you. You as in a married man, as in my ex boyfriend.
"No it's not. You should go Nate. I'm sorry. I got caught up in the past. It won't happen again. Now go after the love of your life" I replied, starting to wipe away my tears. I tried to keep it civil as possible. You started to wipe away my tears and said that you didn't need to, because the love of your life was standing in front of you.
No. No. This isn't right. You can't just come back and waltz into my life whenever you want. You can't just leave for a long time and come back. Remember that's why we broke up? I got my senses back and started to yell at you.
"NO NO. STAY AWAY FROM ME. YOU CAN'T DO THIS AGAIN" I yell at him. I push him away for the last time and run out to the sidewalk. I get in my Mercedes Benz convertible and start the engine. You appeared out of nowhere yet again and ask to talk about it. Shouldn't you be asking Alyson that question? You apologized over and over, but it just sounded like a bad love song. I drove off leaving you in the dust again, while trying to stop the tears. Little did I know, a block away, Alyson was doing the exact same thing.