A/N: So I don't think this is my best work... but bear with me, the story will be progressing next chapter! =) At the very least, I hope you will get a sense of the "real" Bella based on her thoughts in this chap.

Chapter 7: playing hard to get

After the apparent drama of the night before, and Jasper's early-morning drool alarm, I could not fall back asleep. I lie awake miserabley, listening to the soft, even breathing of my friends (make that loud, honking snores in Emmett's case), wishing I could attain the peace they all seemed to master so easily. I was worried about the events of the night before. I was worried about the possible betrayal in question. I was worried about the people that I loved, dammit.

The people who were, quite presently, sleeping soundly in their beds, not giving any thought to the issues stampeding through my mind.

Yet there I lay, restless for hours, struggling with the weight of someone else's burden. As usual. I needed to fucking relax.

This always happened to me. I mean, I liked to have fun as much as the next girl, and I definitely knew how to party. But I also generally know my own limits, and kept myself in check. Rose, on the other hand, always seemed to want to take it to the extreme. I constantly felt as though I had to be the responsible one, looking after her, taking care of her, and making sure she didn't get herself into a bad situation. Not that last night was her fault, I reminded myself, but I was bitter, dammit!

For once, I wanted to be the one throwing caution to the wind. I wanted to be the one doing something I would regret in the morning. Every once in awhile, I wanted to be able to get stupid drunk, and have someone look after me! Shit! God knows I do it enough for everyone else...

See, what had been irking me for the last few hours (and I will be the first to admit that my bitchiness probably had something to do with a lack of sleep) is that I was laying next to this beautiful man and yet I could do nothing about it. I was too busy worrying about other shit. If the situation were reversed, would anyone be worrying about me?

Just as that thought crossed my mind, I felt Jasper stir next to me. I automatically tensed up; I didn't want to wake him, and I was also unsure how he would feel if he woke up and found my body wrapped around his, as it currently was. The tangled position our limbs were in was somewhat compromising, and I didn't want to give him the satisfaction of knowing that I had willingly spent the night in his arms.

Fuck, Bella, what difference does it make at this point? I chided myself. If he tries to say anything or act like a cocky motherfucker, you can just tell him how you woke up with his drool all over you. That should wipe the self-satisfied smirk off his face.

I smiled to myself for the first time in hours. I loathed not being able to sleep; I was one of those high-strung people who had trouble relaxing in the waking hours of the day, and so I very much looked forward to a good night's rest. But even the misery of insomnia couldn't derail the pleasure I got from the thought of making Jasper squirm. So I decided to liven things up a bit; if I couldn't sleep, why should he? I tightened my arms around his middle and stretched upwards, placing small kisses on his neck and ear until he woke up.

***

I felt Jasper stir, and then stiffen in my arms; as he gained consciousness, he relalized what was going on, and relaxed a bit. I could almost sense that infuriating smirk of his, and so I stopped kissing him and held very still. Fuck him if he was going to be like that...

Without any warning, he flipped himself over until he was facing me, almost on top of me, his face hovering near mine. The smile that played upon his lips was a soft one, almost sweet even, nothing like the smirk I had been imagining. For a moment, I felt as though I couldn't breathe; I was lost in his eyes, which were a deep, piercing blue, and framed with the longest, darkest lashes I had ever seen on a man.

God was the only coherent thought I could muster. But was it really God at work here? I didn't think so. Jasper was the devil, the personification of temptation itself. I could feel his long, hard, lean body pressed against mine; I felt every point of impact, and I hated him for it. Why did it feel so damn good to be pressed up against him?

Jasper shifted then, and I felt how hard he was against my thigh. I wonder if that's just morning wood, or if that excitement is for me...? I didn't have much time to wonder. Before I even realized what was happening, Jasper was kissing me with such force that I struggled to breathe underneath him.

Jasper ignored my struggling and continued to kiss me hard. After a few moments, I started breathing out of my nose, and I began to enjoy his urgency. He seemed to be utterly out of control of his body. He barely held himself above me; most of his body weight was pressed against my tiny thin frame. He allowed his rogue hands to travel all along me, and I gasped in excitement as they settled on my abdomen, just below my shirt. I am not the type of girl who gets excited by overtly sexual touches; I like subtle, gentle caresses, mixed with a little roughness. (Ahem.. pull my hair, please..) Jasper seemed to be the perfect mix of gentle affection and unbridaled urgency. I moaned softly, and then shoved hard against his chest. Jasper was so taken aback by my sudden shove that he nearly fell off the bed. His hot mouth left mine and I felt the loss for a moment, but I shook my head violently to clear it and sat up quickly, glaring down at him.

"And what. The hell. Was that?" I spat, trying to look intimidating. I didn't want him to think he could just attack me like that without my permission. The whole point of my kissing him was to remind him who was in control of this situation, dammit. I hated to admit that he had me flustered.

Jasper just looked at me, his expression a mixture of anger, hurt, and lust. Wait.. did he actually look hurt? For a moment, I couldn't believe my eyes, and for this reason, I hesitated. I wanted to reach out to him, but before I could, he had already gotten up and walked off to the bathroom. I heard the water of the sink running.. the toilet flushing.. and then he came back into the room. He laid down next to me again, but turned his body so it was facing away from mine. He lay quietly rigid for quite some time, before I became aware that his breathng had evened and I realized he had fallen back asleep.

Dammit.

How is it that I am still the one left awake?

***

I finally managed to fall asleep, only to be awakened hours later by a flurry of comotion. From what I could grasp from the snippets of conversation I overheard as my friends rushed past my bed, attempting to pack up their things, everyone had overslept and we had nearly missed checkout. Since no one wanted to be responsible for another night's fare, they were all hauling ass to pack up the car. Thanks for waking me, fuckfaces, I thought grumpily, and stomped over to the mirror to wash my face and brush my teeth. Let someone else handle being responsible for once.

We packed up the cars and Carlisle went to check out. I was standing next to Emmett's massive Jeep, arms crossed in front of my chest, trying not to look too pestulent, when Rose approached me. The look on her face was a mixture of wariness and defiance. It said, "I really don't want to piss you off, but I fucking dare you to tell me no." God, what did she want?

"What's up, whore?" I said casually, smiling slightly. Whatever Rose's faults, she was my number one girl, and I wasn't going to take my irritation towards Jasper and Emmett out on her.

"Well, Alice.. and Carlisle," she got a small, involuntary smile on her face when she said his name and I wondered what had happened between them, "They wanted to know if I could ride with them in the SUV..?" She raised her voice at the end, as if it were a question, but I knew Rosalie Hale well enough to know she would do what she wanted.

"Girl, go ahead," I told her, smiling more brightly. "But you really have to tell me every little detail of what happened last night ASAP!" I demanded. She smiled a little, squealed, and hugged me. "I promise!" she whispered in my ear, kissing my cheek just a little bit more sensuously than a female would normally kiss another female. Yep, I'm a little gay for Rosalie, and she's a little gay for me, I thought affectionately, and shoved her away towards the Range Rover.

She started walking, then looked back over her shoulder. "So who should I send to ride with you?" she asked.

"It doesn't matter," I told her aloud. Jasper, my body screamed. Rosalie smirked as if she could read my mind, and so I turned away from her and jumped into the front seat of the Jeep. No matter who she sent, I was sitting next to Emmett.