Chapter 6: Birthdays and Deathdays

Leaving the Candy Kingdom, Finn had to rush home. Though he was winded. All this running was good for the buns and thighs and yeah, but there's only so much exercise one kid can handle. So he began to slow into a light jog. On all accounts, this was not the best choice. As he reached a comfortable pace, he could feel a person near him. He turned and drew the blood-red sword, except it was not a foe. Had he been running, he may have been able to avoid her.

"Hey Finn. Howr u duin'?" said the purple cloud. Finn wondered for a split-second if he should distract her something. Instead, he just got more stupid. "Oh, hey Lumpy Space Princess. Tired but pretty good." LSP seemed to forcefully bash her next statement against Finn's skull.

"Yea, whatevurr. Listen, I heard yurr havin' dis awsum pahrteh for Jahke. Ahnd Melissa told meh, and Ih was awll, "What the lump?" Ih di'in geh invited! So I told hur, Ih say, 'Gurl, don' be lumpin'. Ih alwaays geh invited to pahrtie.' So Ih'm heer to tell you that ya'll neh tah invite meh! Ih'll get that pahrteh start-ed!"

"That's nice LSP, but I need to..."

"Nah weh, Finn. Imma comin' to dat parteh and ya'll can't stop meh. Chips an' dip, babeh! Chips an' dip!"

As LSP floated away with an aire of party surrounding her, Finn began once more towards home. The woods, the grass, the leaves. It all seemed like everything was right. And he began to sing.

This day; this very day
If you told me would be bad
This day; this very day
Somehow I still would not get mad.

Because everything is turning fine
Even though I'm running out of time.
Since this is off the cuff, I don't know the next line
So I'll just walk
Slower

The love I feel is something new
Puts a smile right upon my face.
Yet still I haven't got a clue
I don't feel anything within this race

Because everything is turning fine
Even though I'm running out of time.
Since this is off the cuff, I don't know the next line
So I'll just walk.

His song carried him home, a lightness in step, a feeling of pure, elated, calm. Walking through the domain, he noticed all these great details. The gold bounty, the sword collection, the kitchen. It just felt great to be home.

He found his compadre at the table. A face of weakness spread across the dog's face, like he had just been called to a principal's office and weakness had settled in his throat and stomach, if he even knew what a school or principal was. The human propped a chair across from him and put his face in palm. "Soooo, watcha doing Jake?"

"Eh, not much. I couldn't find a leopard or puma or whatever."

"It's okay, man. I played that as a ruse." Finn spoke like it was still a secret. Jake propped his head up, flabbibergasted at his pal's notion. "What? Man, why did you ruse me?"

Only Finn knew the answer to which he still would not tell but give a small clue. "It's actually part of a surprise I have for you." The dog, wide awake now, wagged his tail in excitement. "Finn, I knew you were awesome but not this awesome! What is it can you tell me please tell me I need to know!"

"Okay, slow down, man. I'll get your surprise to you as soon as possible. I just need to send a prism message."

Finn walked into the other room with Beemo on the couch. "Beemo have you seen the prismgram?" The robot looked at Finn and with a slight smile, "Yes, Finn. I tried to keep it safe my compartment. It is under the couch."

Finn grabbed for the messenger and found it underneath, next to a random sword and a chewed-up piece of gum. Quickly, Finn scrawled out a message that read to the extent of:

Dear Fire Princess,

I wish we could be together, you know, that way. I wish I could feel the warmth of your body against my shoulders but I can't. But remember, I still want to know you. If you want to do something tomorrow, that'd be great. But not tonight. Party for Jake. I need to get ready. Until then, see you.

Finn of the Water

The prismgram shot the message out and Finn made sure to change the settings so he would be able hear the reply later. With that, Finn and Jake set out along with Beemo, Jake ever twitching from the excitement.

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The woods looked so mystical and yet so terrifying during the nighttime. The duo slowly made their way to a secret clearing that had specifically planned for this night. Finn had his white sweater on for the chill and Jake, always ever the naked, looked like he was going to pee himself. The awesomeness seemed alway the sooner to being not contained. As they approached the spot, Jake had the greatest realization. "Finn, is the surprise going to be awesome?" "Yes, Jake, it will be the most awesome thing." Then the clearing came into view. Nothing was there. Not a thing. Totally quiet.

"SURPRISE! HAPPY BIRTHDAY JAKE!"

Jake looked surprised but not in an alright way. Finn pushed his way past the dog's shoulder. "Isn't it awesome, Jake? I got everyone you know to celebrate!"

There was Princess Bubblegum, LSP, Peppermint Butler, everyone. Do I have to list them all?

Jake just kind of stared. As the cheering stalled, he injected words into the quiet. "Finn, didn't I tell you? My birthday isn't for another four months."

One could feel the awkward in the atmosphere.

LSP, somehow, saved the day. "Well, I win' hear for nah parteh. So let's jus parteh!"

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Luckily, the party did become a party. The decorations were set out and the fest began. Beemo played songs from his music library and the dancing got jumpin'. The vampires showed up eventually to play their music. The setup took longer than expected, giving PB just enough time to start an argument with Marceline. The party nearly shut down but Finn managed to break it up. Princess Bubblegum and Marceline put their differences aside (the issue from earlier was an apparent stolen tart from the royal court which was later returned) and just enjoyed themselves. LSP brought and ate the chips and dip. The vampires played their music set. A blend of sweat, tears and cheers as the party raged for hours on end. Certainly, it was the party of the year.

It was nearly the twilight hour as Finn and Jake along with Beemo, tired and dragging, pulled themselves from the party. Rain was starting to come down and hard. As they ran for cover, Finn got the weirdest feeling. Was it the rain? Was it the chill? Was it the feeling of dread in and of itself? He couldn't tell. He wouldn't know until he got home.

With the treehouse in sight, the lightning now cracking across the sky like temporary scars, Finn thought he was hallucinating at first. When he got closer though he could tell. Someone was in their home.

He pointed to Jake, covering his mouth so the dog couldn't scream in terror. With a crawl and a draw, sword of demon-blood in hand, he got ready to attack the intruder. Jake, for good measure, stretched his hand into a fist. Beemo crawled into Finn's backpack for protection. Finn gave a quick affirmation, a count of 3, a 1, a 2, a 3.

The two jumped in their home, ready to face their adversary. No one was there. Initially.

As Finn closed the door behind him, thinking nothing of it, lightning dashed towards the treehouse ever more closely. Illuminated was a figure stood towering over the foyer, eyes bloodshot, gaze dead. Jake screamed in terror as the lightning increased, showing the figure running at the two in a mad dash. They ran for their lives but the shadowy figure chased them ever incessantly. Furniture was overturned, glass was shattered. Jake seemed to be hiding from the scene as Finn tried to attack the demon with his sword. The demon used a sword of it's own, swinging with the strength of a trained athlete. The demon blood flew out of Finn's hand as the apparition screamed at the top of it's lungs, "YOU DON'T DESERVE THAT SWORD, YOU COWARD!"

In the midst of the tirade, Finn felt for a lightswitch, shaking gripping his whole body. The lightning showed the figure looming over him, ready to pounce on and eventually kill the human. Finn, in a moment of pure desperation, reached up in the terrible dark and *Click* clicked on the light as to end the nightmare.

It was Doctor Princess.

"Doctor Princess, what was that for? Are you trying to kill us?" Jake screamed from a dresser drawer as he stretched out of it and onto the floor.

"Those are brave words for a couple of people like you."

Finn had to speak. "What are you going on about, Doctor?"

"Really, Finn? Do you? While you were partying and living it up without a care in the world, I was suffering! It's true what Princess Bubblegum says about you. You're just a little boy. A little boy who can't see straight in front of his face! A little boy who has no feelings of compassion! A little boy who doesn't care about a single, lonely person in the world!"

Finn grabbed his sword in defense, bringing it to her neck. "How DARE you! You don't know what I've been through these past few days! I had to say goodbye to a girl I thought I loved, only to find another I REALLY did love but now I can't love her back because it hurts. I found myself writing letters to her every day and, only a few hours ago, finally sent one. So while you think you your special because you help people because they are sick, that doesn't mean you can invade my house, scare my friends, and then treat me like I don't have feelings!" Tears welled in his eyes, a clear sign he was thinking about Fire Princess and this doctor had the nerve to decide she could insult him on people he cared about.

Eyeing the sword of blood, Doctor Princess took one look at Finn and said, "So what happens now, hero? Are you going to kill me like your last combatant?"

Finn gave her a look of confusion and looked at Jake for an answer. He was staring at the doctor, mouth agape. Sullenly, Jake turned to Finn and said in a choked and tired voice, "Finn, don't you get it?"

"That's right, Jake. Tell him. Tell him how he killed the Ice King."

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Author's Notes

Just like that, dramabomb. Many of you probably did see this coming, but I have to say, my writing was certainly improving as I typed. Also, RuTsuna's probable pairing of Ice King/Doctor Princess got shot down and hard. Sorry, but I didn't mean to end it that way for you. That's how I wanted this scene to play out.

I've always pictured Doctor Princess as this yandere/tsundere character that could snap at any moment with tragic consequences. Not sure why but I have always found that the case. Also, more Doctor Princess in Adventure Time episodes, please. She's a really underrated character and in a show like this, it's good to have one deadpan.

I have also figured out where the canon of the story occurs. It occurs some time after "Five Little Graybles" but shortly before "Web Weirdos" which, at this point in time, has not aired. This allows Fire Princess to be a main character. Let me tell you, the canon was hard to pick. Initially, it was after "Marceline's Closet", then "Incendium", then "Hot to the Touch". However, with all the elements in place, I can officially solidify a canon, thus making this story ready to be typed without any changes to add. Now, it comes down to my fingers.

I also passed a big milestone with this chapter. I've hit the 10,000 word mark which I can be proud of if I do say so myself.

So, big AT news. The new episodes coming out look insanely cool. One features Turk from Scrubs and Susie from Curb Your Enthusiasm as husband and wife spiders. I myself haven't seen these shows but fans will be excited. Another, perhaps the most well known upcoming episode, features Marceline and her dad in the Nightosphere which Pendleton says will be "one of the coolest depictions of Hell on TV". This episode will be a two-parter so Marceline fans will have plenty to look forward to. The second episode's title actually suggests Marceline's return to evil. How cool will that be? Well, not cool for Finn and Jake, but, you know. Plus, the season finale. Guess who's back, back, back again, gain, gain? The. Lich. King. Oh, my glob. Cancel everything you have for Monday nights. Adventure Time will be taking it to new heights.

Thanks to Cyrus Campbell, you too can play the Adventure Time Drinking Game at tvtropes under Drinking Game/Adventure Time! WARNING: Cyrus Campbell states that anyone under the age of 21 should not attempt this game with alcoholic drinks. However, getting a couple friends together, using water, and seeing who has the strongest bladder is perfectly acceptable.

Also, "Five Little Graybles" had Emo Phillips in it. Enough said. Until then, Cyrus out.