A/N: So, I completely forgot that Arthur was even a character until I went back and read over the chapters to refresh myself on what I had written. From what I could find, in the actual novel, he isn't as big of a character as the others. If I am wrong about that, let me know, but as of now I am using that to shape him into something that would work for me. I do like to stay close to the source material with certain things as much as I can.

Having now said that I wanted to keep to the source as much has possible, I am now going to say that I might change the Hellsing storyline, drastically. I originally wanted to go through and continue with the anime storyline, changing various things, but now I think I'm probably going to be changing it way more than I had planned. The reason for this, is because of what I am wanting to do with this story. The actual story in the anime and manga just wouldn't make sense with how I'm wanting to write this. Just a heads up.

- Disclaimer: If I owned the manga/show, would I be writing this? The correct answer is no.

- Rated: M

- Warnings: Gore. Language. Sexual Situations (Never sex, I do not write porn.). Mentions of Rape and Attempted Rape. Abuse. Child Abuse. Mentions to Child Abuse. Death. Horror. Mental Torture. Insanity. Mind Games. Self-Harm. Attempted Self-Harm. Suicide. Attempted Suicide. Murder. Depression. Anxiety. Homosexuality. Religion. Religion Bashing.

- Written: 12/26/16, 12/28/16.

- Edited:

- Chapter 7:

* "Speaking"
* Thoughts
* Dreaming
* "Dream Speaking"
* Memories

* "Memory Speaking"

John had refused to speak with Abraham while they were still near Dracula. Through seals, silver, starvation and the harm he had done to himself, he was still capable of doing the things that he did. He wasn't going to risk the vampires anger if Abraham were to say or do the wrong thing. He wondered if the weakness the Count had shown, when he'd collapsed, was the real reason he didn't try to escape. He certainly could if he truly wanted. Even though he said that he'd have nothing to return to if her were set free or he escaped, given the vampires human past, there was no way that he was fine with being a prisoner. Freedom was one of the biggest things that he had valued in both that life and this one. If that was still the case, then John was sure that the vampire was planning something.

"John." Abraham nearly shouted.

John looked over at him. "Right." He said with a small sighed as he crossed his arms and leaned against the arm of the couch that was placed near the door in the drawing room. "I-... I honestly cannot tell you much." He said with a small shake of his head. "You and the guards just froze. I-I don't know how he did that or how he managed to pull the blood from the floor and form it into… needles. What do you remember?"

Abraham was silent as he listened to John speak and remained silent for several moments as he thought about an answer to his question. Abraham sighed and finally spoke. "It was strange to say the least." He began, looking to the fire at the right side of the room. He looked back at John. "I remember hearing you speak, but your voice sounded so far away and muffled. Then I felt something sharp at the back of my neck, but I couldn't move to see what it was. All I could see were its eyes, then I couldn't see anything. I couldn't move, see, hear, and the only thing that I could feel was that sharp pain on my neck."

"His eyes…" John suddenly said, though he was sure he had said it too quietly for Abraham to properly hear him. He pushed himself away from the couch and began to pace as he thought. "Have you ever heard the saying "The eyes are the windows to the soul."?" He asked as he stopped pacing.

"I hate that saying." Abraham answered with a small nod.

"To me at least, it has always meant that looking someone in the eyes is how you can tell certain things about them. If they're lying for example." He said as he took a few steps closer to Abraham. "But what if it's literal for him?" He asked. "If all he needed to do was look into a person's eyes to do that or more… Abraham, all of those seals and fail safes that we have for him. If he can do something like that, they're utterly useless. If, for some reason, he decides that he does not want to be a prisoner any longer… What about what he did with the blood as well? Can he only do that to blood that has been spilt? Can he do that to blood that is still within our bodies?"

Abraham grit his teeth at John words. Dracula had warned him that there was no other like it. It hadn't just been a taunt that passed through the creature's lips or it's arrogance showing itself. He wondered what else the vampire was capable of while still locked away. It didn't even need to touch him to render him useless… or to even kill him. "We need to place a seal on it's soul." He said with a breath. "That is the only way we might be able to contain it. Even then, even if it were ordered to tell us every power that it has, only God knows if it might awaken new abilities, even after hundreds of years."

"I will send for Arthur then." John said with a small nod. "Both of you know more about the occult than I, so I will probably be useless to you in finding the right seal." He stopped and closed his eyes.

"What is it?" Abraham asked at his friend's sudden change.

John opened his eyes and looked back at Abraham. "Arthur doesn't know what happened here tonight." He explained. "And I'm not exactly sure how I should tell him. If I should tell him when I send for him or when he gets here. He's going to be angry either way."

"Tell him before he gets here." Abraham said with a small nod. "That way at least he has time to…" His voice quietly trailed off.

John only have a silent nod and left the drawing room, shutting the door behind him and leaving Abraham alone.

"Dr. Seward."

He nearly jumped when the voice of a young woman called him. He turned to the right of the hallway to see the maid that he'd sent to check on Abraham earlier that night. He cleared his throat and turned to her fully as she came to stand in front of him. "Yes?" He asked.

She opened her mouth and shut it quickly. "Is there anything that you or Sir Helsing needs?" She asked.

"You seem very eager to please." John said with a small smile. "Even with… what you've just seen."

"I wish that was the worst thing that I have seen." She cast her eyes away from him for a moment before returning them. "Besides, the rest of the maids are nearing hysteria and if I had stayed in our rooms any longer, I would have lost my h-mind."

"Well, if that is the case, where does Abraham keep his telegraph?" John then asked. He knew that the man kept it in his office, but he could also tell that she wasn't exaggerating her statement about the other maids.

"In his office. Follow me." She said with a small smile as she walked past him and headed towards the staircase.

"Forgive me, but I've forgotten your name." He said as he followed the woman, trying to ignore the blood on the floor that had yet to be cleaned up by the door near the stairs.

"My name is Elizabeth Williams." She answered as she glanced back at him.

He gave her a small nod. "If you don't mind me asking," He began. "What did you mean when you said that, that wasn't the worst thing that you have seen?"

She looked back ahead of her and was silent for a moment. "A friend of mine was killed… and I was the one who found her body." She answered, her voice tight. "It… was a gruesome sight."

"I'm sorry." John said as he took a couple large steps to get in front of her. She stopped and looked at him. He shook his head. "I didn't mean to-"

"It's all right." She cut him off. "You're a doctor, so it's only natural for you to ask a question like that."

"I'm sorry that you were the one to find her. Finding a loved one like that…" He stopped and gave a sigh.

She gave him a sad smile and shook her head. "It is something that no one should ever have to go through, but it happens and while grieving is a necessary part of healing, dwelling on it serves no purpose."

"You know, the way Abraham says that same thing, sounds so much more aggressive than that." He said as they continued walking towards Abraham's office.

She let out a small hum. "A woman's touch?"

Dracula was less than pleased when he woke. Even without windows in his cell, he knew that he had woken during the middle of the day. Slowly he sat up, finding himself usually stiff. He could imagine the sound hinges made when an old door was opened after years of being shut, as he forced his body to move. His eyes turned towards his cell door, but when he found no one there, he wondered why he had woken up during the day. He should have given into hibernation by now with the amount of damage he had done to himself, and how he had used his powers.

His shoulders went down and back, as he crossed his legs and let his hands lay across his knees.

The air still reeked of blood. Normally it would have been a scent that would excite him to a point, but now, it was only making him sick. He couldn't figure out exactly why that was though. The connection that he should have with Mina, even with her having fed and become a full vampire, was nearly nonexistent, causing his head to pound when he tried to force past whatever was preventing the connection.

After what had to have been two hours, he decided to stop trying. At least for now. There was no point in causing himself more harm, trying to force the connection to become stronger. Especially when there wasn't really anything that he would be able to do with it, should he actually succeed.

He turned his eyes towards the door. That human he had spoken to days ago was now standing there and saying nothing. He cursed himself, feeling a flinch work it's way throughout his body.

"Dracula." John spoke softly when the vampire looked at him. He had been watching the vampire's eyes focus and unfocus, while his face showed some level of confusion, for the last five minutes. It had been two days since Mina's escape and Jonathan's death. He had, surprisingly, been able to get Abraham to grieve with him some. The man had been locked away in his study ever since, refusing to let anyone other than Arthur enter. Arthur had returned to the mansion earlier that morning. It had worried John that he did not seem to show much grief towards the news that two more of their friends had been lost to them. The mans response when asked why worried the doctor even more. "I expect it at this point."

"You confuse and interest me, human." Dracula said, tilting his head to the side slightly. "I have caused you and those you care for, so much grief and agony. Yet… when I look at you, when I smell you, I can find nothing that would tell me you wish me harm."

"We cannot choose what we feel. Sometimes we cannot even choose how we react to a situation." John said as he slipped his hands into his pockets. "Our bodies react before our minds are able to process anything. Instincts take over and reason is lost." He shook his head. "You scared me, when you did what you did to Abraham and his men… but I felt that I knew you wouldn't do anything. Logically, I should hate you. I should want to kill you myself at this point. Yet, there is something inside of me, something that doesn't wish you any ill will."

Dracula was silent for several short moments. "Tell me something, human," He said as he sat up straight. "Do you believe that, regardless of how far someone goes, how much death and destruction a person has created, do you believe that even someone such as that, can be saved?"

John gave him a slightly confused look. "Why do you ask?" The vampire had already said strange things, but that was probably one of the strangest. Did he wish to be saved?

"Do I have to have a reason beyond curiosity?" Dracula asked with a small shrug.

"No." John said and shook his head. "But you do have one."

"It is refreshing to hold a conversation with someone who holds some level of intelligence." The Count said as she pulled himself to his feet, gritting his teeth at how hard it was to move. He now recognized that it was rigamortis, and because of this, didn't get closer to the door. "Answer my question and you will know my reason for asking it."

John sighed. "Yes." He said only a moment later. "I do believe, that even if someone has gone that far, has spread so much pain and suffering, that they can be saved."

"You are foolish to believe so." Dacula said as he shook his head slowly. "There is no saving someone like that." There was a detachment to his voice.

"Why?" John then asked. "Do you think that because you don't think you deserve it? That you don't deserve something beyond chaos and death?"

Dracula smiled. "I know I don't. That, however, isn't the reason why I say that." He walked towards the door and stopped when he was near, trying to ignore the protest his body gave at the movement. "As for why I asked, that is why you do not have ill will towards me. If you believe that no matter how far someone goes, that they can be saved, then that explains it. You want so badly, almost more than you want to live, that everyone gets another chance."

"If that is a foolish thing to want, then I will continue to be a fool until the day I die." He said with a small shrug.

Dracula continued to smile as he watched John. He was one of the more interesting humans he had come across in years. For such a logical man, he still held a great amount of faith in those around him. Even when those around him include one of the most dangerous monsters in the world. "This world has been lost for centuries. No matter how hard you try or wish it to be different."

John sighed, but he didn't challenge the vampire on his statement. "You said that you were giving Abraham incentive to believe you. What did you mean?" He asked.

Dracula gave a quiet hum. "He believed that he had won. That I was no longer a threat, as long as I stayed in this cell. He had a chance to win, back in Romania, and he let it me live. He won't get that chance again."

"Do you plan to kill him?" John asked after a moment. The way he spoke, John knew that he had probably wished that Abraham had killed him. That the man had ended his time on Earth and sent him to the next stage. The vampire probably despised the idea of suicide and wanted to die in battle, like many from his time did.

"Oh, not at all." The vampire shook his head.

"Then what do you mean he won't get that chance again?" John asked, his voice tight. Dracula didn't answer. Instead, he turned and walked towards the back wall of his cell and sat down. John watched him for a few minutes. "You value your sanity, correct?"

Dracula chuckled. "I haven't had my sanity for centuries." He said as he tilted his head.

John hummed slightly. "No." He said and shook his head. "You do have something wrong with you in your mind, that I won't dispute. But you can still grasp reality. Vampires, like humans, are social creatures to a point, and you no longer have a colony. There is a high probability that Abraham will end up locking you away, alone, for as long as he can." He explained. "Social creatures cannot live alone. In other animals that live in groups, isolation can result in several things, most notably death. In humans, vampires, werewolves and other humanoid creatures that live in groups, we will eventually lose our sanity. In some cases, we can become feral and won't understand anything that goes on around us."

"Then, Doctor," He drew out the title. "If I haven't lost my sanity, what have I lost?" He asked.

"A lot of things." John answered as he looked down. "Hope, faith, love, joy, a sense of purpose." He paused, looking up again. "You've lost your mother, brothers, the woman you loved, your sons and daughter. You've lost all reason to live." Dracula stared at him as he spoke, his brow furrowing slightly. "I had a patient several years ago. He had lost his wife in childbirth with their second child."

"Why are you telling me this?" Dracula asked.

John didn't answer him and continued. "Several years later, when his children were nine and six, there was a fire at his house. He was pulled out of it, but his children hadn't been found until the blaze went down." Dracula had looked away by this point. "He had a mental break and ended up at my institution. When I had finally been able to bring him back from his delusions, when I had managed to get him to face reality, he attempted suicide." John sighed and paused. "Three days later, when he had woken up from this attempt, I asked him why he did it. He looked at me and said 'If you take away a man's children, you have truly given him nothing left to live for."

"Why are you telling me this?" Dracula asked again, looking back at the human. "My children were alive when I choose this."

"You didn't think they were." John answered, shaking his head slowly.

Dracula let out a breath through his nose, smirking at the man before him. "How can you be so sure of that?"

"I have two theories when it comes to your choice." John said, gaining a head tilt from Dracula.

"You've reduced my existence to two theories?" Dracula questioned, amusement in his voice.

"Yes." John replied. "First, if you thought your children dead, then you would have wanted revenge for, not only their lives, but for your first wife, perhaps even your second as well."

"What of the second?" Dracula asked when John didn't continue.

"You were a prisoner with no way to protect what little you had left." John began. "Your sons would have most definitely been killed and your daughter, while she would have likely been killed as well, might have also been given away as a war prize." Though it was slight, John could see Dracula's jaw move ever slightly as the vampire grit his teeth. "You would have done anything to protect them or to avenge them."

"With your second theory, I wouldn't have lost my children." Dracula pointed out.

"Yes, you would have." John gave him a sad smile. "You were a Catholic, you would have raised your children to be Catholics. How could you have faced your children as what you became? As one of the most unholy demons. How could your sons look at you as the fierce warrior that they had known, how could your daughter look at you as the one who had protected her and her siblings, when what you became…" He trailed off.

"By that logic, they would have understood my choice." Dracula said after a moment of silence.

"Humans as a whole are very illogical creatures." John pointed out. "Besides, you never saw them again after you became a vampire."

"What makes you say that?" The vampire asked, his voice emotionless.

"You said yourself that you were amazed at how long Mina lasted, not giving into the bloodlust. Most vampires cannot control themselves when they first turn. That's why when faced with one, it is better to face one who has had years of experience. That way they have control over themselves. There is no doubt in my mind, that if you had been an inexperienced vampire, we'd all be dead."

"Do you have a point to this winded explanation?" Dracula asked with a sigh.

"You would have been afraid to hurt them, so you left." John answered. "There are stories of carnage in the following weeks after your execution. Stories of a monster slaying the people of Romania, known then as Wallachia, as well as the Turkish. After the war had ended, there were various stories of a monster in Hungary and Austria doing the same." John stopped to look at Dracula, who in turn only stared back at him. "These stories did not return to Romania, until around fifty years later, after all of your children had died and your castle had been abandoned."

Dracula let out a small laugh, which only seemed to come out as a small huff of air. "I will admit that I have underestimated you. You are far more perceptive than I originally thought. Far more of a scholar than Helsing is."

"Does that mean that you are admitting that I am correct with the base of my theories?" John then asked.

Dracula smirked. "You may never know. Time ages history far worse than it does humans."

John nodded. "Perhaps. Might I ask what does Zaleska mean?" The human asked. "It seems to be a very uncommon name even in your country." Dracula said nothing as he watched the man. That's when John saw it. For a brief moment, there was confusion in his eyes. It was so dark in the cell, that if the vampire's eyes didn't glow, he would have missed it. He almost did miss it. "You don't remember, do you?"

They both watched each other for several more minutes, both of them wondering if the other would speak and break the silence. In the end, John excused himself and left the vampire alone in the basement. He walked back to Abraham's office and stopped as the door opened, Arthur stepping out of the room and looking at him.

"I was just about to come and retrieve you." He said as he stepped back into the room and held the door open for John to walk in. He shut the door behind the doctor and walked back over to Abraham's desk, where the man was currently writing in one of his journals.

"Have you found out anything that will help us?" He asked, not looking up from his journal.

"If you actually look at me when I speak to you." John said, his arms crossed. Abraham sighed and looked up at the man. "Most of what I observed you wouldn't think important, so, before I waste my breath, will you take into account what I am going to tell you?" He asked.

Abraham eyed him for a moment, before giving him a small nod.

"When I first got down there, he seemed to be having difficulty concentrating on something. I don't know what it was, but he might be trying to find Mina himself." John began. "I also learned, that he wanted you to kill him."

Abraham gave him a confused look. "Why would it want that?"

"Humans and vampires are not so different, Abraham." John answered with a shake of his head. "He's been alive for over four-hundred years. The people that he actually cared about, died long before now."

"Why wouldn't he have turned them?" Arthur then asked.

John turned his eyes towards him. "I believe that he didn't want to force this kind of life on them."

Abraham sighed. "John, I understand your need to know more about it's human life, but we need to find out what happened to Mina."

John looked at him. "Well, I could always go back to the hospital and leave you with a vampire that doesn't want to speak with you." He stated, anger working it's way into his voice. "Your approach did nothing, Abraham. He respects, or he did respect the way you handle things to a point, but he respects people like me more so."

"Why do you come to that conclusion?" Arthur asked with a small tilt of his head.

"I can see things in him, that neither of you can and it's catching him off guard. Normally he doesn't have to worry about people seeing through him, so he doesn't have the best defenses when it comes to people like me." John explained. "Even though I can't make conclusions on most of the things that I speak to him about, I can get a general idea."

"Like what?" Abraham asked, resting his elbows on his desk.

John stood there as he thought. "Women for example. I spoke with him about this. With how brutal he had been with women in the past, as far as punishments go, I originally thought that he despised them. The more I looked into his human life, the more I began to change that thought. There is no record of who his mother was and his father was known to have many mistresses. Even if his father's wife wasn't his mother, he viewed her as such and it was the way his father treated her that he despised."

"Why would he punish the women so horribly then?" Arthur asked. "Would it not make more sense to punish the men?"

"Unless those women abused him." John responded. "He was brutal towards men as well, but he reserved the worst of it for warriors. We know so little of his life before he was twelve. Even after that, there is still so much missing from history. Most of what I am saying to him, I'm guessing at best. So far, it appears that I am mostly correct in my assertions."

"How would those woman get away with abusing him?" Arthur asked.

"His father didn't care about him." Abraham answered, pulling the man's attention to him. "He traded his sons for his own freedom and Dracula was probably a bastard."

"Exactly." John said with a small nod. "He was known to be a very defiant prisoner as well. He probably tried to pull negative attention away from his younger brother, who had been traded with him."

"What else did you learn?" Abraham asked.

"I told him about the patient I had who lost his children in a fire." He began. "It was slight, but he seemed to respond to that. He could have other reasons for becoming what he is now, but I think that might be a factor." He paused. "He couldn't seem to remember what his daughter's name meant."

"Do you think that is significant in some way?" Abraham asked.

"Yes." John answered with a nod. "It tells me that he can't remember things from his human life, however small they may be."

"Most people that I know, don't know what their children's or their own name means." Arthur spoke up.

"The farther back we go into history, the more we find people who name their children specifically for what the name means. Dracula's first name, Vlad, for example, roughly means 'ruler'." Abraham said. "His second son shares his first name. I don't know what Mihnea or Zaleska means."

"The only thing that I had found was the according to some Mihnea is the Romanian version of Michael." John supplied.

"Do you think that he could have forgotten what his sons' names mean?" Abraham then asked.

"His first son maybe." John said with a shrug. "I've been trying to push things about his first wife and daughter the most."

"Why?" Arthur asked.

"Men are naturally more protective of women." He stated. "That, and most of his fledglings were women, but most of them shared a certain look."

"You're right." Arthur stated after a moment of thought. "Most of them were rather young, raven haired, pale…"

"Except for his Brides." Abraham announced. "They seemed closer to his age as a human and their hair was a light brown."

"He was choosing women who reminded him of his daughter and wife?" Arthur asked, looking to John.

"I believe so." The doctor answered.

"Mina and Lucy looked nothing like them." Arthur then stated. "Why did he target them specifically? There were other women in the area who would have matched the description of his wife and daughter."

"I don't know." John said, shaking his head. "It is one of the things that I am trying to find out. You and Abraham are looking for answers, but the answers you are looking for might be hundreds of years old."

Abraham sighed and ran hand down his face. "Do you believe, without a doubt, that we can benefit from you learning more from his human life?" Abraham asked.

"I do." John said with a nod.

"Then I will have to trust your judgement on this." Abraham stated as he closed his journal, placed it into his desk and stood.

A/N: "Take away a man's child, you have truly given him nothing left to live for." is a quote from one of my favorite movies ever, Zombieland, which should go without saying, I do not own that movie or quote.

In Hellsing, we don't see a whole lot of Alucard's life other than what happened when he was a kid, some fighting and his death, so I am adding a lot into this. I will get into the whole Millennium plot line eventually