Disclaimer: Still don't own Harry Potter or Digimon or Star Wars. JP isn't mine either *sob*
"What the heck's a digi-destined?" Ian asked, rifling through his book furiously. He came up empty. "And how come we're them?"
"We should all sit down," Professor Snape said, his voice commanding. Everyone obeyed, seating themselves in Madame Hooch's purple armchairs. "It will take a while for Mr. Ichijoji to explain this."
"How do you know about this?" Madame Hooch asked, her eyes piercing his. "Do you understand what's happening?"
"Unfortunately, yes," Snape admitted. His black eyes shifted to Ken. "I need to retrieve something. I shall return while Mr. Ichijoji explains himself."
Snape exited the office in a flurry of robes, leaving Ken with three very intent wizards. Ken sneered in the professor's direction; he could have helped. Sighing, the digi-destined began to explain about the digital world.
"Okay, you all know there's a Magical World and a Muggle World, right?" Ken began as the teacher and students nodded. "Well, there's another one."
"Another world?" Della said, raising a multi-colored eyebrow. "You've got to be kidding me."
"There's hundreds actually," Ken said, regretting this line immediately. He received three blank looks. "That's beside the point though. You know about Muggle electricity…and computers…right?"
All three wizards nodded, but they just weren't getting it. Ken would have to put this is wizard terms. Great, explaining the Digital World in Merlin's terms.
"Being a digi-destined is like being a wizard," Ken said, trying to make the world's most complicated metaphor. "We're all chosen based on our…talents. They're just not magical; they're normal. Things like Creativity, Kindness, and Patience. They're all valuable in they're own right, but most people don't notice."
"Like our badges?" Ian ventured as Ken nodded. Ian beamed. "I'm a Non-Conformist."
"The way to the Digital World is like the pathway to Diagon Alley," Ken smiled. He seemed to be getting somewhere. "For Diagon Alley, you need to pass through a brick wall and have a wand. To get to the Digital World, you go through a Muggle computer. And you need one of these."
Ken took his D3 out of his pocket and set it on the coffee table they were surrounding. Ian, Della, and Madame Hooch all stared at it in awe. Ian poked it gingerly, half-expecting it to bite him.
"How come we don't have one?" Della asked, prodding the device. "If we're digi-destined, shouldn't we have one of these things?"
"It's called a D3," Ken explained as Madame Hooch examined it with interest. "I guess you haven't got one since you need a computer. Generally they just come out of the screen and scare us half to death."
"What is so important about the Digital World Mr. Ichijoji?" Madame Hooch replied, handing the boy his device back. Ken pocketed it.
"You know wizard familiars?" Ken was grasping at straws now. "Well, in the Digital World, you can find your own digital familiar. They're monsters, but also your friends. I know I wouldn't trade Wormmon for the world."
"What's a Wormmon?" Ian asked, raising an eyebrow. "Sounds like something Snape would put in a potion. Yuck."
As if on cue, two brisk knocks came from the office door. Madame Hooch walked over and went to answer it. The House-mates assumed it was Professor Snape and his sour disposition knocking.
"Hello," Wormmon greeted, waving one of his purple claws at the group. "It's nice to meet you."
Then, pandemonium ensued.
Madame Hooch screamed shrilly, jumping up and toppling onto Professor Snape. Della ran over and cooed about how cute Wormmon was while she petted him. Ian frantically grabbed a broomstick off of its place on the wall, trying to defend them all from the horrible creature. Ken just sighed and sat down in his chair.
"Ahem," Professor Snape said as Madame Hooch blushed. She was on top of the Potions Master, pinning him to the ground. Ian's aunt scrambled up, letting Snape get to his feet. He dusted off his robes and swooshed Ian's broom away.
"Everyone, this is Wormmon," Ken said, walking over. "Wormmon is my digimon and best friend."
"Is it going to eat us?" Ian said, still holding the broom in a defensive manner. "Where is it from?"
"I'm from the Digital World," Wormmon said, blue eyes shining brightly. "I live there with all your digimon partners."
"You mean we get our own Wormmons?" Della asked, patting the digimon on its head and getting up. "Awesome."
"They are not all the same," Professor Snape explained. "It seems as though there are hundreds of these monsters, each more powerful than the next. We will all receive our own, according to our destiny."
"How do you know so much about this world?" Madame Hooch asked as she brushed off her own robes.
"I have done my research," Snape's smile was lop-sided. "I had some free time on my hands."
"So how are we supposed to get to the Digital World?" Ian questioned, setting his broom down and patting Wormmon's antennae. "We don't exactly have a Muggle computer around here."
"I believe I have a solution," Professor Snape said, striding towards the door. "Follow me."
Madame Hooch, Ken, Ian, and Della had to practically run to catch up with the professor's long strides. They passed through many corridors and a few ghosts along their journey. The apparitions' comments were left in a wake of flurrying robes and a green smudge. Breathless, the wizards arrived at their destination.
"Here," Snape hadn't even broken a sweat. "The Room of Requirement. The only place in Hogwarts where your wish is its command. It is the only place in Hogwarts where Internet access is possible."
The group watched in earnest as Snape closed his eyes and concentrated. The stones moved of their own accord, like in Diagon Alley. The wall began to open, revealing a large set of oaken doors. Prof. Snape opened the doors as the group entered the Room of Requirement.
It wasn't empty.
The room was covered in what looked like cork-board paneling. Thousands of pieces of paper all the colors of the rainbow were thumb-tacked to the walls. Some were old and creased, while others looked like they had just come out of a printer. Ken touched one of these, and the wet ink left a dark smudge on his thumb.
In the middle of the room was a rather large computer. A huge printer sat beside it, spewing out more pieces of paper from its depths. Smoke billowed out of its top and it made a gasping sound.
In front of the computer was a guy spinning around in a swivel chair.
Ken studied the guy as the group moved forward, too flabbergasted to say anything. The male was tall and skinny with pale skin and pointy ears. His eyes were dark blue and he had short blond hair with black roots. He was wearing a rumpled white dress-shirt, its long sleeves rolled up to the elbows, and black pants. A loose thin black tie hung around his neck and red running shoes completed the look.
He was also surrounded by bubbles, which seemed to be coming out of a pipe his was blowing.
The stranger skidded to a stop, his sneakers squeaking as if he had just walked through a puddle. He hopped out of the chair, picking a random piece of neon-pink paper off of the top of the computer. He smiled widely, his grin toothy and somewhat threatening.
"Hello digi-destineds," the stranger said, tucking his shirt into his pants. Ken flinched as he saw the guy was wearing red gold-fish boxers. "I am JP, Genaii's new replacement."
"What's a Genaii?" Ian asked, raising an eyebrow. "Don't they grant three wishes?"
"That's a genie Mr. Farrow," Snape snapped, trying to derive what this creature was. "What exactly are you?"
"That's for me to know and you to…well…not really get," JP shrugged. "I'm complicated, what can I say? You guys; you're not complicated."
"And what exactly do you know about us?" Snape asked, raising an eyebrow. "We have never met."
"Well, for starters, you're a cynical wizard who is a double spy for both the Dark and Light sides young Paduwan," JP said, nodding towards Professor Snape. "You haven't had a date in practically forever and your confidence level is in the negatives since every relationship you seem to have is dragged through the dirt."
JP turned to Madame Hooch. "You are a woman who also has no romantic life since you were hurt once and never want to be again. You favor your nephew since you've always wanted kids but have never found the right guy. Plus, you cross-stitch."
Della was next, as everyone stood in fear and amazement. "You are the great-great-great…and a lot more greats-granddaughter of Antidesma Hogwarts, but don't like to admit it because she went against the supposed Founders of the school. You're happy your hair got turned different colors because it makes you stand out; you think you're not that interesting but everyone else thinks otherwise."
Ian flinched as the crazy elf-thing pointed a finger at him. "You hide behind your quote book because you think you're boring and that you can't contribute to conversations. You hate the fact that your parents are hung up on blood ties, so you're closer to your aunt. She understands you more."
Finally, JP looked in Ken's direction as the digi-destined blushed. "You Ken Ichijoji are a veteran digi-destined and think you are perfectly capable of showing the new recruits around the Digital World. You tried to take it over, but came over to the Light side when Wormmon over there sacrificed himself so you'd clue in. Secretly, you're jealous of your friends in Japan since they have an un-tainted track-record and their partners can Armor-digivolve. Oh, and you're secretly glad the Sorting Hat blew up because you didn't like the segregation that came along with it. Have I got everything?"
Everyone stood there, their jaws on the ground. This thing had just divulged all of their secrets and knew everything about them. Who was he?
"Where is Genaii?" Ken eventually managed to ask after a long pause.
"In the Bahamas I think," JP answered, scratching his chin and "smoking" his bubble-pipe. "Off on vacation."
"Genaii took a vacation?" Ken's eyes were wide. "Doesn't he have obligations or something?"
"He posted an ad," JP shrugged. "I answered it."
Ken watched in fascination as JP's fingers flew across the keyboard with in-human speed. The rest of the wizards had either never seen a computer or were still too dumb-founded to say anything. A website quickly popped up.
"Welcome to the Worlds-Wide-Works," JP said, nodding at the screen. "The ultimate means of communication between alternate dimensions. Also, a great way to post jobs. See, here's Genaii's."
It read: "Wanted: one modern being capable of passing through different dimensions without molecular combustion. Will be escorting and advising uneducated humans about their destinies and their role in three worlds. Please contact Genaii by sticking head through this advertisement. Payment will be three 'Assisted in Saving a World' stamps on one's Passing-Through-Port."
"You answered a job ad?" Ken was speechless. "Don't you need credentials or something?"
"This good enough for you?" JP said, taking out a bright-blue wallet. He pulled out a sheet of paper which was as long as Ken. It unfurled, revealing hundreds of "Assisted in Saving a World" stamps. Ken assumed this was a "Passing-Through-Port." JP nodded his head and pushed a button on the side, making the paper roll up on its own accord. "I just need three more, and then I can be a World Advisor like Genaii. No more checking the Works, no more sticking my head out of other people's computers to give them career advice; just my own World to advise over. Makes me feel all warm and fuzzy just thinking about it."
"Well, you won't accomplish your goal if you leave us here standing like a bunch of imbeciles," Snape snapped, obviously pissed that JP had revealed his secrets. "Are we to go to the Digital World oh Advisor?"
"Oh, yeah," JP said, setting his pipe down on the table. The bubbles vaguely reminded Ken of his brother Sam and how they used to blow bubbles on the terrace. JP dug under a pile of paper and pulled out a knapsack. There was a paper avalanche as JP took out four digi-vices. "Here you go."
Ken watched as the new digi-destineds received their D3s. Professor Snape's was green and black. Madame Hooch's was sky-blue and silver. Ian's was the light yellow of his quote book. And Della's just changed colors randomly.
"Okay, now, everyone gather around the computer," JP said as he kicked aside some papers. Ken noticed they were all employment ads. JP demonstrated the way to hold a D3 in front of oneself while he shouldered the knapsack. Ken, Ian, Prof. Snape, Madame Hooch, and Della followed suit. Ken watched as a digi-port popped up.
"DIGI-PORT OPEN!" JP yelled as the six inhabitants of the Room of Requirement were sucked into the screen.