Kamen 22
Chapter 7
There was the causal chatter of socializing students steadily rising in volume in an attempt to hear over one another as they lounged around in wait for their peculiarly tardy Sensei. Normally, their Sensei was up and bouncing around the English classroom; papers flying around in his wake and fast-paced scribbling of barely coherent fragmented thoughts as he bounded around the room while is little 'ADD Awareness' coffee mug sat equally perkily atop mused grade paper.
With the absence of the infamous coffee that acted a daily reminder to the students of their hyperactive Sensei's presence and his… 'condition', some wondered, but most were completely sated with it missing.
"Hey, Monta-kun." Sena nudged the bushy-browed boy next to him who was preoccupied having a mid-morning snack. "Where do you think Shigure-sensei is?"
The monkey boy outright laughed at the first thought that treaded his mind, nearly choking his seemingly harmless banana-nut muffin. "Mukii! That crazy Euro-guy probably saw a butterfly and jumped out the window to catch it!" he laughed harder, banging his other empty fist barbarically on the desk.
The brown-haired boy sighed at his friend. "Monta-kun… It's not polite to make fun of Shigure-sensei's… disorder…." He commented… but with their sensei, nothing's impossible. Sena ran to glance out of the neared window for safe measure after receiving another earful of the monkey's gwaffing due to Sena's meticulous choice of words.
Upon returning to Monta's side after confirming the absence of a blond-haired bloody corpse, the monkey boy was thoroughly punished once more when he choked on another, yet larger, chunk of the banana pastry.
After an episode of hacking and coughing, and a few shrieks of "Mukii!" Monta managed to dislodge the pastry from his esophagus.
"Monta-kun, I think that muffin's got it in for you."
"Mukii! You're right!" Monta gasped in utter shock that one of his favorite banana-based snacks would betray. He spat out the remnants of the muffin from his mouth and attempted to throw now dubbed "Evil" muffin in the safest place were it could no longer be a threat to human-(or monkey)-kind.
Of course the muffin wasn't done teaching the boy a lesson yet, so when Monta aimed for the nearest open window, the pastry miraculously somersaulted, then spun into a triple-flip and performed other various acrobatic feats before soaring straight for the next person that would come leaping into the classroom like a prima ballerina…
"Ha, HA! Do you think I'll let you scathe my beautiful skin, fiendish pastry!?"
… And who else would ever think to make such an entrance into their place of work other than their ever eccentric sensei?
"Mukii!?" Monta screeched over the fact that the wretched muffin was still in the vicinity to reek havoc upon the innocents.
The monkey boy's primal cry caught the attention of every living, not all necessarily human, beings in the room as eyes locked to catch the 'acrobatically gifted' pastry hurdling towards their ever-flamboyant Sensei.
Shigure-sensei turned to his faction of students to see what the uproar was about (mostly because it was ruining the mood for his eloquent, gravity defying leap that he 'strived' so hard to perfect), when he saw the possessed banana-nut pastry making an unnaturally curvy beeline for him.
"Ha, HA! Nice moves Monsieur Muffin, but to out do moi!? YOU SIMPLY CANNOT!" he quipped at his 'challenger', thrusting a slacks-clad leg off the white board that was to his right, successfully gaining enough momentum and rotate into a triple axel. He daintily made his descent and landed next to his wooden office desk as the muffin smashed into the board with a loud 'thunk!', smearing as it slide down the board and off into a conveniently located waste receptacle in utter defeat.
Monta, who had jumped on his desk during his maddened panic attack, fell back into his seat, relieved.
"Good to have avoided another disaster-MAX!" Monta sighed, trying to calm his still somewhat jittery nerves.
"Yup." Sena smiled back. "At least it wasn't as bad as when you accidentally threw your snotty tissue into Sensei's coffee mug…"
Now, that was truly a train wreck of a lifetime (because Shigure-sensei almost pressed Monta with charges for 'tampering with his food' and making him bed-ridden for a week), not to mention that damned dandy little mug was there every day to haunt him of his blunder… how smug that little mug was…
Monta REALLY needs to stop throwing things in class… or ever for that matter…
"Good Morning everyone!" the chipper Shigure-sensei greeted. In response, the class reciprocated the gesture… just not as… perkily…
"Okay! Before we get stared…" his gleaming face precipitantly grimaced. "Who thought it was funny to make Monsieur Muffin airborne!?"
Monta stood up abruptly, nearly knocking over his chair. "In my offense, I was trying to save humankind from that evil… th-THING!"
To articulate his misworded statement, he jutted an accusatory finger at the trash bin. "I should be a hero- MAX!"
Shigure-sensei glared at the flustered monkey spaz.
"Of course it was the finesse-less Monta…" the overly exuberant sensei pouted, flipping part of his blond unibang out of his eyes to give said boy the full intent of his leer. He crossed his slender arms over his chest indignantly. "You do realize that this will cost you an afternoon in detention, ne?"
The primal boy looked as if he were about to lose "it", whatever it was he had to lose (other than what remained of his dignity). Sena jumped up, trying to evade further altercations.
"B-But Shigure-sensei! The muffin didn't even hit you!"
The European sensei lifted his nose in the air, disgustedly. "Dull-witted Monsieur Muffin tried to out do me and ruined MY moment! Besides…" He turned back to Monta, sticking out his tongue snidely. "I am the sensei, therefore I'm better than you! DENTENTION!"
"WHAT!?" the two boys shrieked in complete shock, Monta 'screetching' more than 'shrieking'.
This, of course, earned them a bout of giggles from their less-than-empathetic classmates.
"What's wrong Kawa-kun?" sensei inquired, directing his inquiry at Sena. "I did not punish you since you were not at fault. Is that wrong?"
"N-No… I mean, I just don't think it's… fair."
Shigure-sensei smirked triumphantly, gracing his class with another ceremonious flip of his cascading golden locks. "Then fret not Kawa-kun! Life in its essence is not fair! Be grateful not to be enmeshed in its injustices!"
Monta exhaustedly collapsed back into his seat, thoroughly convinced that this was another 'lose-lose' predicament that he tangled himself in… even if Shigure-sensei practically contradicted himself.
"Anyway, class!" the blond-haired sensei chirped once more. "Before I was ever-so rudely interrupted by the finess-less one over there…" he tipped his head disgustedly in the direction of said monkey boy. "… I have a very important announcement to make!"
Both Monta and Sena perked up slightly from their slump, generally curious about the afformentioned 'important announcement' sensei proclaimed to be so important.
"I'm terribly sorry to have made you wait EONS outside the door… BUT IT WAS ALL HIS FAULT!" Shigure-sensei pointed viciously at the cause of the delay. Monta didn't even attempt to fight it this time. He figure the less he talked, the less that Euro-guy would bother him.
"So, if you would so kindly enter and make yourself known before the class…"
Appearently, from what this person had viewed from the scene that played out before his eye…
… He thought the whole class was crazy. So, the black-haired youth stood there with somewhat frightful eyes, staring at his deranged teacher-to-be.
Shigure-sensei was slightly concerned when his new, cute little student was hesitant to make himself present to the class.
"Hm? Aka-chan? Won't you come in, s'il vous plaît?" he smiled in a way that seemed warm and inviting to the innocent eye, but to those who knew better… "The students… they do not bite…" … Such a smile could come off as lecherous.
"Ewwww… That Euro-guy's flirting with students again…" Monta grimaced.
Sena blushed slightly, remembering similar situations with himself and the Sensei. "What if it's a boy?"
"Well… then that makes him a gay Euro-man." Monta snickered quietly. "Gay man from Gay Paris! It fits perfect!"
After a moment or two, the person Shigure-sensei was beckoning to from beyond the door finally stepped in, standing a little short compared to Sensei.
"Class!" Shigure-sensei called to his students for their attention. "A new student we have! Aka-chan, better known as Yuushisami Akira, will be joining our class starting today!"
"Yuushisami!?" Monta whispered, hoping to not draw attention to himself. "Why is she in our classes!?"
Sena continued to stare at the male student standing at the front of the class with a questioning look. "More importantly, why is she in a boy's uniform…?"
Monta blinked in realization. "Hey! You're right!"
Not really caring whether or not Shigure-sensei would yell at him for this, Monta got up and called out to the front of the room. "Oi! Yuushisami-san! Why are you in a boy's uniform?"
Sena slapped a hand over his face, sighing in slight annoyance.
Shigure-sensei was about to make smart retort to the monkey boy's question, but Akira beat him to it.
"Because Akira is Akira, and Akira is a boy, Baka Saru!"