CUT TO:
EXT. SORORITY ROW - NIGHT
A van is parked outside of the sorority row cul de sac. RJ waits eagerly on the outside. Out comes Niley, Kirby, Roy & Sidney, all dressed for the party. Sidney feels a bit out of place; she's older than everyone else and it's been years since she's last been here. They all begin walking down the street towards the house, following the crowd.
INT. VAN - CONTINUOUS
Kincaid, Dewey, Morrison sit around in chairs around the van, watching monitors and listening in. Also joining them is DETECTIVE PANAMA - mid-50s, cool twirling mustache and gray hair with a typical detective hat.
KINCAID
Niley, can you hear me?
NILEY (O.S.)
Loud and clear.
KINCAID
Sidney, there's something blocking your camera.
From the feed, we can see a strand of hair removed out of the way towards her bust area, standing in as a button.
KINCAID
Thank you.
PANAMA
If anything happens to any of these kids...
KINCAID
Panama, just relax. We have this under
control. That is if your SWAT is capable...
PANAMA
Our regular beat cops would be better suited
than anything Woodsboro or LA has to offer.
KINCAID
Is that so?
DEWEY
Hey, a lot of good men died in the 'boro
PD offices four years ago. Show some respect!
PANAMA
... exactly my point.
DEWEY
(turns around)
Panama, I'm gonna rip that ridiculous mustache
off your FACE!
MORRISON
I'll take that honor, sir.
KINCAID
There will be no mustache ripping!
DEWEY
I'll do it, I'll take it!
NILEY (O.S.)
Would you guys shut the fuck up? !
There's a long awkward beat between them all.
PANAMA
So much for stopping the making of Ghostface
costumes and Stab movies... here we are...
in a van... waiting for another murder to
happen... maybe if you had this all under
control...
DEWEY
How do you know the killers aren't from
Windsor? It happened before!
PANAMA
I wasn't around back than. That wasn't my fault.
And the kids in this town are too happy to
do anything like that now.
They all turn in their chairs to stare at Panama.
PANAMA
What? It's true!
NILEY (O.S.)
Panama, your mustache is mine once I get back.
CUT TO:
INT. OMEGA BETA ZETA HOUSE - NIGHT
Outside of the house sits MORTON CREED - - RJ's best friend, a likable guy but likes to keep a low profile usually - perched up against the steps. RJ greets him.
MORTON
Finally, I've been waiting for you guys.
This is my first college party! I'm so
stoked!
They all enter the house, Niley looking eager. Sidney, Kirby and Niley bunch together and make their way across the room. Roy sticks behind with the guys.
ROY
Hey, how's it goin'? I'm Roy Popper.
MORTON
Morton Creed, I listen to your show all
the time! It's fantastic.
ROY
Thank you. I didn't know they got it in
Woodsboro.
MORTON
I download it off the internet.
ROY
Oh, so that's you pulling in 100% of traffic
to the site.
RJ
So what are we supposed to be doing exactly?
ROY
Keep an eye out. Look for anyone suspicious.
RJ
Everyone is drunk with glee filled smiles,
they all look suspicious.
ROY
Have a little bit of paranoia there? Let's
get a drink. You're old enough right?
RJ
No.
MORTON
But tonight we are, RJ!
They make their way over to the keg. We SKIP OVER to the girls. Nessa runs down the stairs and spots Niley.
NESSA
You came!
Nessa hugs Niley and grabs her by the hand, dragging her into the next room.
NESSA
You gotta meet the house mothers!
They all follow. Sitting in a circle in a much more quiet room is HOUSE MOTHERS LOIS AND MURPHY and SORORITY SISTER JANE CLEMENS. Lois and Murphy don't seem to have aged too much from when we last saw them at Windsor as sisters trying to recruit Sidney in 1998. Jane is gorgeous but has a quiet, dark look about her - - you can just see it in her eyes.
LOIS
Well fuck me sideways, it's Sidney Prescott.
SIDNEY
Lois? Murphy? It's been so long! You're
still here at Omega Beta Zeta?
MURPHY
House mothers now.
SIDNEY
That's - - cool.
NESSA
I want to introduce you to Niley Krinkey.
I told you about her, remember?
Lois and Murphy both stand up to take a better look at Niley. Jane observes from the couch.
LOIS
She's not bad, Nessa. Where'd you find her?
MURPHY
(pointing to Kirby)
What about this one?
KIRBY
Oh, no, not for me. I'm a screenwriter.
I don't go to school anymore.
LOIS
(crossing her arms)
Oh... anything I would've seen?
KIRBY
Not yet. In theaters this December though.
Walking With Gorillas. Starring Julia Roberts.
Check it out!
MURPHY
We'll see. But Nessa, we're proud of you
bringing us this little - - hot stuff.
NILEY
Hot stuff?
LOIS
We've been looking for someone just like you.
NILEY
Why me?
MURPHY
Oh honey... look at you! You're hot right
now. You're smoking... on fire. You're
explosive, baby! Like a mother fucker! Kids
still say "like a mother fucker" right?
NESSA
(kissing ass)
Oh yeah, all the time.
LOIS
We're talking about your hair color. Red
is just what we need for the sorority.
We need "variety" or whatever and all the
other ginger hags running around just don't
cut it. At least not here at Windsor.
NILEY
It's actually not real. I just dye it this way.
NESSA
(squeezes Niley's arm)
She's joking! Funny! See? Told you.
NILEY
No, I wasn't.
NESSA
(grits her teeth)
DO YOU WANNA GET IN OR NOT?
NILEY
OH! Right... yeah! Carpet matches the
drapes and everything.
MURPHY
That was a little too much info, Niley.
We also hear you're an actress?
KIRBY
Yeah, she's great. But she's in need of
some classes which Windsor provides.
SIDNEY
Does Gus Gold still work here?
Jane finally speaks.
JANE
That old fucker? He worked here back than, too?
SIDNEY
(cold)
Yeah.
LOIS
Be appropriate, Jane. Sidney has a connection
with Mr. Gold. She was his leading lady...
well, until...
MURPHY
Let's skip the technicalities!
(snaps her fingers)
Jane, help Niley get enrolled here. Have a
little talk with the dean. He should be around,
right?
JANE
(getting up)
I suppose.
CUT TO:
INT. RILEY'S HOUSE - NIGHT
The door bell rings. Gale gets up from her computer and opens the door. It's her friend, EILEEN PACE (without question to be played by Jennifer Aniston) - - filled with life and nostalgic joy to see Gale. She's carrying some bags with her and she extends her arms for a hug.
EILEEN
Heeeeeey!
GALE
(hugging)
Oh my God, Eileen, I've missed you.
EILEEN
Me too, me too.
GALE
Come on in.
Eileen enters and looks around, impressed by Gale's lifestyle - - only a little bit.
EILEEN
So you went suburban?
GALE
Yeah, well, for awhile I was in the business
of death so I had to make a switch.
EILEEN
Oh my God, I know. One day you're reporting
the news and the next, you are the news. But
I made my switch long before you, honey. I
gave up journalism and sometimes I wish I didn't.
Became a housewife, can you believe it?
GALE
Things have definitely changed since we were
roomies. Journalism sisters, ready to take on
the media.
EILEEN
Yeah but... that's okay. I'm happy now.
GALE
Really? Is that what's in your bags?
Happiness?
EILEEN
Precisely.
(puts the bags on the counters and
starts going through the contents)
Being a housewife, I have learned quite a
few things... and one of those, was definitely
cooking.
GALE
Oh... no, no. Gale doesn't cook.
EILEEN
Oh yes, Gale is about to learn. The best
way to keep your man satisfied other than
the bedroom - - is to fill his stomach with
good old fashioned food.
GALE
I think I'll just stick with the bedroom.
I'm an underachiever that way, I only like
to scrape by with the bare minimum.
EILEEN
Oh, c'mon Gale! You said bring you something
to get you started on a new hobby to get
your mind off journalism and reporting and
so I brought what took my mind off of it!
And don't worry, we're gonna work on this
together. I'm gonna be here everyday to make
sure you graduate from the Culinary Arts of
Eileen.
GALE
Is that a real thing you're trying to do or
did you just make that up?
EILEEN
(half smile)
Let's not talk about my failures, Gale. SO,
I'm gonna teach you first how to make breakfast.
Eileen seems excited, her eyes wide open to teach. Gale has a nervous smile planted on her face.
CUT TO:
INT. VAN - NIGHT
Some time has passed. Everyone in the van looks completely bored.
PANAMA
You sure you were right, Kincaid? Nothing
has happened in over 5 hours...
KINCAID
Give it some time...
PANAMA
These are just... meaningless conversations
going nowhere. None of these people could
possibly be the killer.
KINCAID
You don't know that.
PANAMA
I do know that. You'll see... nothing is
gonna happen tonight.
THE VAN STARTS.
DEWEY
What's going on?
Kincaid jumps up but the van MOVES FORWARD, pushing him back down in his chair. The whole van holds on, trying to reach for the door. The van hits a bump, they all fly up in the air.
CUT TO:
INT. OMEGA BETA ZETA HOUSE - NIGHT
A SCREAM COMES FROM OUTSIDE. Everyone looks at each other in bewilderment then all RUN OUT.
EXT. SORORITY ROW - CONTINUOUS
Everyone stops and looks on. A girl stands in the middle of the street, COVERED IN BLOOD. She slowly walks forward, whimpering. Sidney jumps forward and races to her.
SIDNEY
Jesus!
The girl trembles, blood dripping down her leg and creating a puddle around her. Sidney reaches her and grabs her shoulders.
SIDNEY
Hey, are you okay? Where are you hurt?
The girl looks up - - AND SQUIRTS SIDNEY IN THE FACE WITH SILLY STRING. She gives a loud "WOO!" and half of the crowd cheers.
SORORITY GIRL
DELTA LAMBDAS, BITCHES!
SHE SQUIRTS Sidney some more and runs off.
NESSA
Those fuckin' Lambdas and their stupid pranks.
Off to the side, the VAN IS RACING AROUND THE STREET. Roy notices and RUNS ACROSS the field, trying to catch up to it. RJ and Morton follow, wanting to be super bad ass too. Roy reaches the driver seat and JUMPS onto the door, hanging on. Roy swings open the door to find - - PEYTON, piss drunk hammered and laughing while taking a joy ride.
CUT TO:
EXT. SORORITY ROW - NIGHT
Peyton is now on the sidewalk, hands cuffed behind his back and still laughing. Panama writes him a ticket while two other cops pick him to throw him in the squad car.
PEYTON
It was just a joke, c'mon! It was funny!
Panama shakes his head and sighs, looking at Kincaid.
PANAMA
Like I said... nothing's gonna happen tonight.
Kincaid feels defeated - - he got something wrong that he was so sure of. Peyton notices Niley with RJ while getting thrown into the car.
PEYTON
You're still with that little high school
bitch? When you gonna get a real man, like me,
baby?
RJ just squirms and Morton notices his discomfort.
MORTON
Hey, fuck you, Peyton!
Peyton is thrown into the car and the door slams.
RJ
You didn't have to do that.
MORTON
Well shit, man, you don't get tough off of
playing Fight Night all day.
RJ
I like first hand shooters, not fight games.
MORTON
Yeeeah, how would I know?
He looks back out the window, watching Niley as they drive away with a devilish grin. Niley shutters and Sidney throws her arm around her.
SIDNEY
C'mon, let's get out of here.