This chapter is the conclusion to Jasper's prisoner experience - we will visit the other characters in the next chapter.

Chapter 7 – Rescued

Jasper

October 11th – She asked if I wanted to talk about the last of my time there. I don't. That makes it too real.

October 12th – I still refuse to discuss that with her.

October 13th – I can't even bring myself to write it down.

October 15th – The physical wounds have healed well, but when I think about it…it hurts. They say I'm depressed. Probably I think maybe I can write down a little. It started when Kawartaz They should have just killed me.

October 21st – Dad visited today. I asked him about finally getting a traditional tattoo – I showed him the scar filled with ink – the word under my collarbone. "What does it mean?" he asked. I told him and his expression darkened: "They labeled my baby girl a whore?" I nodded and told him I wanted it covered up – I don't care that it's in a different language. I'd considered tattoos before, but this is forcing my hand a bit. He said he would contact the man who did his and even pay for it. "I want you to understand something, Jasper," he said. "This therapy is meant to help you. If you ever went back over – if you saw these people again – and had feelings for them and couldn't shoot them, they could shoot you or one of your fellow soldiers. You need to get through this and get better." I know this to be true.

October 22nd – I finally broke down and told her about that god-awful experience. "Now, do you really think these people were your friends?" she asked. I shook my head, but I wouldn't tell her what I was thinking: Tubaz had my back; he proved to be as much of a friend as he could. It happened when I was taking a shower in preparation for Akhram to come back and I knew what he'd no doubt want. I braided my wet hair when I was done. I slid my hands down to my stomach, which was still flat and muscular, but I took a moment to reflect on the fact that I was carrying life inside. It was both weird and amazing at the same time. I was going to have to work very hard to get my figure back after I had this baby, but I would have her. I would give her a good, strong name and raise her in a place where she could do whatever she dreamed. I had made my peace with the miracle God fashioned inside me; I was meant to go on.

As always, Kawartaz watched from the door. "Enjoy the show again?" I asked him in English knowing he would not understand, then because he wouldn't know what I was saying, I vented my frustrations to him as I usually did. "I hate you. I hate you watching me. I hate being here."

He entered the bathroom and his fingers played with my dog tags. "Don't touch those!" I slapped his hand away; those tags were all I had left of who I used to be and I wasn't about to let Kawartaz take them from me. I reached for my dress, but he stopped me and looked me up and down before daring to place his hands on my chest. I pulled away. "You're not allowed to touch those either!"

"You have been teasing me with that body for two months. You know the things I want to do to you?"

"I can guess, but I also know the commander has told you not to touch me, so, don't. And if it bothers you so much, then quit watching me in the shower, creep." I quickly covered up with the dress and wrapped the scarf around my head again, not bothering to cover my nose and mouth because Akhram would be back at any time now.

I made my way over to the bed and folded the blanket down. "I hate sleeping with Akhram," I heard myself say. The previous night had been nothing to celebrate. He was almost a little too gentle – probably some outdated notion of hurting the baby. He had finished anyway, I had faked it and he had fallen asleep while I got to lay awake and wonder what I was going to do. Even if I could get myself out, I could not abandon the other soldiers. Tubaz had confirmed that they were alive and not too worse for wear, though Jenkins' leg had not appeared to heal properly. But, the captors were feeding them regularly and apparently not hurting them as they complied with all orders given, which was good. He said part of the reason they were treated as well as they were was because of my 'good standing' with Akhram.

I felt Kawartaz's presence behind me only seconds before the scarf was pulled from head. "What are you doing?"

"If you hate sleeping with the commander so much, then wait until I have my way with you."

I spun around. "You can't – that's against the rules."

"You think it's me he'll blame?" He pushed me onto the bed.

Anger enveloped me as I felt him clumsily fumbling with my dress. I was tired of them messing with me – fucking with me – I was tired of being invisible until Akhram decided he wanted to fuck me. Because that's what had been going on for TWO FUCKING MONTHS and I was sick of it! So, like hell I was going to let Kawartaz do this to me too! I forcefully kicked him in the chest sending him halfway across the room before standing up again. "I don't think so. I don't know what other women you've had here, but I'm a fighter."

He charged at me and I dodged, looking around for anything I could use as a weapon. The table was surrounded by chairs, so as he came at me again, I swung one at him knocking him to the ground. He swung his leg at me to try and throw me off balance, but I jumped out of the way. I saw he'd made a crucial mistake and his gun was propped up against the wall. I sprinted for it. He knocked me down, trying to go for it himself, but I scrambled up and got to it first. He stopped instantly when I pointed it at him. "You don't know how to use that."

"Oh I don't? You can cover me up and make me invisible all you want, but I am trained soldier! Not only that, I'm protecting my baby – so just try going after me right now, I dare you!"

It happened so fast, he made a grab for the gun and I heard a loud bang before I realized I'd actually pulled the trigger. The look of shock on his face will be etched in my mind forever as will the dark stain spreading across his shirt. He coughed, a bit of blood escaping and dribbling down his chin before he fell and gurgled twice before going silent. I stared for a moment, the woman side of me in absolute shock, but I pushed her aside. He was the enemy and he was attacking me; ever the good soldier, my training had kicked in as it was supposed to and I finally regained a sense of who I was. I also realized I had a weapon and no one guarding me. Praying was all fine and good, but sometimes in order for it to work, you have to meet God halfway. It was time to stop hoping for a prince to rescue me. It was time for this Rapunzel to rewrite the story. It was time to find my men and escape.

I turned to leave but before I could, the door swung open and Akhram ran in with Tubaz trailing behind. "What the hell?! Jameela?"

"My name is Jasper!" I corrected him. "Sergeant Jasper Palamo and I have a gun and two months of pent up frustration, so releasing me and the others – now – might be a good idea before you end up like Kawartaz!"

Tubaz had a look on his face as though he could have bashed his forehead against a wall about fifty times. He made a gesture with his hands and mouthed: "Put it down."

Akhram stepped closer even though I had the gun pointed right at him. "Jasper," he said slowly, using my real name for the first time ever. "You don't really want to hurt me."

Well, no, I realized as my hands shook, there was still that part of me that didn't, but… "I have been your prisoner long enough. Let us go."

"Give me the gun."

I took a step back as confusion reigned in my head. I should do it…I should shoot him, but, damn it, Jameela was still a part of me and realized that as I was pointing a gun at the father of my child. I lowered the weapon, unable to pull the trigger. Akhram grabbed it from me. "Defending yourself or not, you killed him. Do you know the punishment for that?"

I was pretty sure I did. He pushed me roughly to the floor. He put the gun down and unsheathed his knife. I refused to be afraid, instead kneeling and keeping my head up, ready to face the end with bravery and dignity. I felt him grab my braid and pull it taut. "I have tried with you, I really have, but you are impossible. You are an unnatural woman. You want to fight like a man? Dress like a man? Huh?"

Then, my head fell forward as his knife sliced through my hair. He dropped the braid on the floor in front of me as my hands flew up to explore my shorn locks. "You asshole! That took forever to grow!"

"You won't be alive long enough to worry about it. Tubaz, take her away while I decide how to carry out her punishment."

Tubaz tied my hands behind my back and led me from the room. Once down the hall a bit, he growled softly: "You are making my job VERY difficult." We walked down the hall toward the area I'd once been kept in. "So impulsive and careless."

"He was trying to attack me. If anything, it's his own fault for leaving his gun unattended."

Tubaz opened a door and I walked into the same room where I'd once been kept. It was empty. He closed the door with a slam and started laughing. "You stupid woman. Your soldiers are coming for you tomorrow night and you couldn't wait. You just had to..."

"What?"

"Yes – I got ahold of them; I explained the situation – everything. That all four of you are alive, that he's been keeping you captive and…the things he's been doing to you…and that you're now pregnant. I agreed to help them when they get here – I even explained the layout of this place and where you and the others have been kept. They're coming tomorrow night, but I don't know if he'll let you live that long."

What had I done? My heart pounded. Akhram wouldn't actually kill me – and his child – would he? "Tubaz…"

"I will do all the damage control I can."

Fear reigned inside me. "Thank you."

He untied my hands. "Don't do anything stupid…anything else stupid." And with that, he was gone.

I sat down and leaned against the cold wall. If I had just listened to the training and let Kawartaz…I shuddered at the thought…then I would be safe for one more night until the army came. But, like Tubaz said, I was impulsive…and careless…and stupid. Jasper had failed at being a soldier; Jameela had failed at being a woman. A side of myself I hadn't known before caused my hand to instinctively cover my stomach. "Your mama fucked up…sorry."

I was alone for hours…the entire night I'm sure because by the time Tubaz returned I was starting to feel sick, but there was nothing to come up, not even water. Tubaz closed the door, then sat beside me. He was holding my boots and set them down. "I bought you until tonight. Listen to me; I don't know when your army will arrive. The commander is furious and he is going to send his men in here sometime this evening."

"How many?"

"Usually a dozen. I've seen him do this before. He will not have you tied up; you will be able to defend yourself. How are you at hand-to-hand combat?"

"I can hold my own." With one or two men, I could, but twelve? That I was less sure about. "And I'm supposed to fight in this dress?"

"Yes. Now, they will go for your legs – trying to break them or otherwise get you on the ground, so stay standing as long as you can. Once you're down, you will be at their mercy and some of these men…they haven't been around a woman in months. So, you know what they will do to you. They will mean to kill you in the end. Again – on your feet as long as possible to give you time until the other soldiers get here."

"Got it."

"It is not fair that his men will have weapons and you won't." Tubaz produced what I recognized as Akhram's knife still in its sheath. "Hide it. Use it if you have to."

I was not familiar with fighting using a knife, but I accepted it, knowing it could make a huge difference. I didn't want to fatally wound someone, but he had said they meant to kill me. This was not about my life only. My baby was counting on me; I also feared Akhram might take things out on the other three soldiers. Later on, I ripped the sides of my abaya up to my mid-thigh to allow for better movement. I cut the sleeves off; I made sure my boots were tied properly. I used the fabric from the sleeves to secure the sheathed knife to my leg. I fell into a fitful sleep and awoke when I heard the door swing open. Four chairs were brought in and set near a wall opposite of where I was. I sat up and exhaled, wondering what time it was. Guards came in leading Myers, Thompson and Jenkins and tying them to three of the chairs. Akhram was going to make them watch.

"Sergeant, are you…" Thompson tried to ask something, but was hit in the back of the head by a guard.

Akhram came in and stood in front of me, looking ever confident as a commander should be. "Afraid?"

I rose to my feet and faced him. "No."

"You should be. Nevertheless, if you take out my men, you've earned your freedom and I will let you all walk out of here."

The corner of my mouth twitched up into a half-smile. Fighting for our freedom…that's what I did. "Understood."

"If you lose, well, you'll be dead and your fellow soldiers will follow you soon enough."

I looked over at my men. The stakes were high, but if I could at least keep fighting until the army got there then we stood a chance. I took a deep breath and released it slowly. "Bring it on, commander."

"Good luck, sergeant." Akhram crossed the room and took a seat in the fourth chair. "Enjoy the show, fellas."

And, just as Tubaz had said, twelve of Akhram's biggest men filed in, some of them held metal rods and two held chains. I stared them down, inwardly building up my confidence. I was nearly six feet tall and mostly muscle – probably as strong as most of these men. I was a soldier with pent up anger, a knife and combat training and I was about to kick some serious terrorist ass.

Silence filled the room for what seemed like several minutes before Akhram gave his command calmly. "Alright, men, do whatever you want with her. Make her scream."

My first objective was to take out one of the men holding a metal rod and wrench it from his grasp. Just as Tubaz had said, they were aiming for my legs, so I kept constantly moving, smacking away my attackers with the rod. One of the men, grabbed it, swung and I found myself hitting the wall and falling. I jumped up. Stay on your feet; they're coming, I told myself. They're coming soon and you're going home.

I reached down and pulled out the knife. The men took a collective step back, clearly not expecting this, then one charged at me. I dodged the metal rod he held, grabbed it to pull him closer and stabbed him in the side.

"Where the hell did she get that?!" Akhram shouted.

I retrieved the rod dropped by the guard, now brandishing two weapons to keep my attackers at bay. The knife was only valuable if I could get close as I did to one of them whom I stabbed in the eye and then the chest before kicking away, while simultaneously using the rod to smack another man in the stomach sending him down. The entire time, I could feel Akhram's eyes on me and almost sense his building frustration that this was not going as planned.

One of them grabbed me from behind and I flipped him forward before hitting him on the head with the rod knocking him out.

"That's it, whore!"

I deflected the chain that was hurtling at me with the rod and drove my knife into the wielder's stomach. "I'm no whore; I'm a motherfucking warrior!"

A chain wrapped around my wrist and pulled causing me to lose my grip on the knife. Shit! One of the men grabbed the rod and wrenched it away from me. If I bent down to pick either one up, that would be it; they'd shove me down and I'd be at their mercy.

Well, fuck, I was now weaponless, but I still managed to dislocate a man's knee, break at least three noses and kick one of them so hard in the balls I heard an audible crunch.

"How hard is it to take out a woman?!" Akhram roared. "Break her legs already!"

And then from beside him, the three soldiers started cheering me on. "You can do it!" "Get them!" "Kick their asses!"

"KILL HER!"

One of the chains swung into my face, cracking my cheek. It was so forceful it broke off one of my teeth to the gums, but I managed to stay up, despite being dizzy. I took a moment to spit out the piece of tooth and kicked away the man charging at me. That was when I felt a metal rod connect with the leg supporting my weight. I heard the crack of the bone as pain shot through me and I almost crumpled to the ground. I spun around and grabbed the rod, hitting him over the head with it knocking him out. There were two men left, so I took a risk, bent down, retrieved the knife and quickly stabbed one, pushing him away. I was thrown against a wall, punched in the ribs. I felt a hand in my hair and another one on my hip trying to pull my dress up. "You made it easy for us, whore" the man said.

"I am NOT a whore!" I wrenched myself from his grasp, turning and plunging the knife into his chest. He fell to the floor. I turned my attention to the men I had injured, but who were not seriously wounded. "Anyone else want to take me on?"

The other men who were capable of moving, looked around at the ones who were motionless on the floor and quickly walked out. "Apparently not." I turned my attention to Akhram, swaying and breathing hard, but victorious. I'm sure I looked like a bloody mess. My side and leg throbbed and one of my eyes was swelling along with my cheek. "That's the best you've got?"

Akhram calmly stood and crossed the room. "I am a man of my word, Sergeant. You are free to walk out of here…if you can…" Without warning, he kicked me in my injured leg, breaking the bone completely and sending me to the ground. He stomped on my leg twice causing me to cry out with pain.

"You bastard…"

"And unless your fellow soldiers can untie their own ropes, they're not walking out of here either…" He kicked me in the ribs.

I curled up as best I could, still clutching the knife. The knife…I could still free my men and one of them could carry me out of there. Injured as I was I started crawling across the room toward them.

He picked up one of the metal rods and hit me in the back of the head. I heard a ringing in my ears. "What do I have to do, Jameela? Huh?"

"My name is Jasper and I will leave here…with my baby…"

"Oh…I see," his tone was slow and sinister. "You care about the baby."

I was almost there and reached out for the ropes holding Thompson's leg to the chair. Akhram's foot came down on my hand hard. I felt three snaps and dropped the knife. He stomped on it again and then hit my arm with the rod three times sending shooting pains all the way up to my shoulder.

Akhram turned me over and lifted my dress. For a split second, I worried he would have his way with me in front of my soldiers. However, I quickly realized what he was doing as he knelt between my legs and put a strong hand on my lower abdomen. He was still holding the metal rod and grinned. All I could do was shake my head in disbelief.

There was a knock at the door of this place inside me – metal pounding against it. I felt scraping, flesh tearing, bruising – I heard the crack of my pubic bone – and as the pain moved deeper, I finally released the tortured screams he wanted. After what seemed like an eternity, it stopped and I lay gasping on the floor in unimaginable agony. I looked up out of the one eye that was not swollen shut and saw Akhram standing over me, holding the bloody metal rod, using it to hit me across the face before dropping it. He spat at me and didn't miss this time as it landed on my forehead. "Whore."

I felt something warm pooling between my legs and knew there was no way my baby had survived. "Murderer."

Akhram leaned in close. "Didn't you just kill at least four men?"

I moved my left hand and felt it on the floor…the smooth handle of his knife still laying there. That knife he had used to keep me in line for two months…the weapon I'd feared. "Five…" I corrected him as I jabbed it into his chest.

Akhram's eyes widened in shock and stayed open as he collapsed on top of me. With one last burst of strength, I pushed him off and then lay there breathing heavily, my fingers still clenching the knife. He was gone…but I was still gravely injured and knew it.

I lingered somewhere in a twilight zone between consciousness and sleep. I thought of my family mostly and how they would react when the army chaplain showed up at their door. I knew I would have a military funeral and they would talk about how brave I was. I hoped my parents didn't have to see me…not in this condition. I hoped I would be prettied up before the funeral.

And that's when I heard it, sounding far away and getting closer – gunfire. "Oh great," Jenkins said. "Here they come to finish us all."

The door swung open and I heard Tubaz speaking. "She's in here! They're all in here!" And he was at my side. "Jasper…I brought them – they're here. Are you alive?"

There was the commotion of footsteps and people talking as the three soldiers were untied from their chairs. Two fingers were pressed against my neck; a familiar voice called out to me. "Sergeant Palamo…can you hear me?"

It took tremendous effort to open my eye and I saw Cordero standing above me. I managed to work my mouth into what I hoped was a smile. So, my prince came after all. "Hey…"

"Let's get you out of here." He scooped me up and I was too weak to even cry out in pain.

I felt someone squeeze my hand; it was Tubaz. "You'll be okay – they're taking you home, just like you wanted."

"Step away from her," Cordero commanded. "You have our word we won't shoot you today, but rest assured, if I ever see you again with this organization, you're dead. So, heed my words: get out – get out of this place, this country if you can." Then he yelled out the door. "I'm going to need cover, guys!"

I remember little of getting out of there, but I do know I was relieved to feel cool air on my face. And I don't really remember the transport back to base. Two fingers pressed against my neck once again roused me from my nearly unconscious state. And I heard that gentle voice – Cordero's voice – breaking through the medical personnel's hurried speaking. "Tiger, you're at the field hospital. They're going to stabilize you here then transfer you to the closest military trauma facility. Hang in there, okay. You're going to be just fine." I felt his hand cover my forehead and smooth back over my hair.

With great effort I opened my good eye and looked up at Cordero. "Thank you," I mouthed before I was swept away into unconsciousness.

October 24th – The next weeks were a blur of sterile white walls, nurses, doctors, surgeries and lots of pain meds. The first real memory I have was waking up feeling very shaky, my throat was sore and my mouth was dry. My stomach hurt…no, it was lower than my stomach. I realized I could see out of both my eyes. A nurse came over and put a hand on my shoulder. "Are you in a lot of pain?"

I shook my head. At least it wasn't as much as it had been after I'd been beaten.

I felt her gently squeeze my shoulder. "You're quite the fighter. Most women who have been through this would give up."

"I had to fight…for my baby…"

The nurse took my hand gently between both of her own. "I'm afraid you lost the baby."

I felt a tear roll down my cheek. "I know…" I didn't know why this bothered me so much…I still don't. I shouldn't have wanted to keep it – it was Akhram's. I had slept with the enemy, a terrorist, to make that child…I had shamed myself, disgraced my uniform. No, I hadn't 'slept with him' – he had forced me to be with him, threatening me and hurting me until I split myself into two separate people because the truth was unbearable. But, even still, it had also been half of me…conceived in one of the most frightening times of my life, a testament to the things I would do to survive these circumstances. Unlike the last baby, this one came about because of a choice I'd made…a choice to endure.

"Why don't I have the doctor come and talk to you?"

"I'm too tired."

"Then you rest."

And I did, with the aid of pain medicine for three more days before I felt alert enough to have a proper conversation with the doctor. He probed the area around my eye with his thumb. "Your facial fractures are healing well. How is your chest feeling?"

"Still sore." He had informed me I had eight broken ribs.

"And your arm?"

"Feels okay." It had been a clean break to my right arm and I was told it should heal without complications. Akhram had also broken three bones in my hand.

"Your leg?"

My left leg had been broken in two places and held together with pins and plates. "Still sore, but I'll be able to use it again, right? I'll still be fit for combat?"

"I'm surprised you'd think about going back, but yes, with some physical therapy, you should be able to return to active duty."

I nodded and rested my good hand on my stomach. "And my…other injuries? Children?"

"Because of your age we decided to do some…substantial reconstruction. You were very close to needing a hysterectomy. That being said, we don't know if it will be possible for you to get pregnant in the future and if you do, there's a high chance it would be dangerous both for you and the baby."

I allowed my soldier self to accept the news without emotion and simply nod, but the woman side of me in my mind was screaming. I had a part of me once that was a mother…now she was stunned into silence and I realized she might never come to life in me again.

The doctor squeezed my shoulder. "I'm very sorry."

"Heh, I'm not married," I said. "Who knows, I might not want kids."

"To be honest, that may be the best decision."

Then why didn't you just take everything from me, the woman inside me wanted to shout. Just take it all! "Yeah…I think that's…that's good."

It was late that night when it hit me: two parts of myself were gone, leaving the only the soldier to deal with the blows dealt to me. I had only briefly known myself to be a mother and probably never would again. And without that, what point was there in hanging on to being a woman? It's not like I had tons of young men lined up for my hand, but who would be willing to get involved with me if I couldn't do the one thing a woman was expected to be able to do? I had always had everything working against me…my skin, my height, my physical strength that matched or even rivaled theirs…and now this final blow. Well, that was it then, I guessed – Akhram would be the last man to want me and he hadn't even seen me as a person. He had been interested in one thing and stupidly, I'd played along. His final act against me told me I had mattered little to him. I closed my eyes, resigning myself to being nothing more than a soldier and letting those other parts of me quietly die.

The very next day a nurse told me I had a visitor and I was surprised to see Cordero had come to see me. "You're the last person I expected to see."

"I took a day of leave to come out here and make sure you were okay." He set a bag down on a chair. "I also brought your things. Everyone's been worried, but I knew even this couldn't keep you down, Tiger."

"I'm pretty tough."

"The others told us how you fought them for so long. They told us how you took out twelve men singlehandedly. I know men who would have gone down long before that." He took something out of the bag – it was Akhram's knife in its sheath. "I know usually it's against the rules to take things like this, but you wouldn't let it go, not until they put you out. So, we're going to say it's yours – a trophy of war, if you will. You have got to be the most badass woman I know."

"Woman?" Wasn't that a part of me that had been destroyed? "You said 'woman', not 'soldier'."

"I meant no offense."

"It's just most people don't…see me as anything…but a soldier."

"We are so much more than that, Tiger. When I first met you, you know what I noticed about you? Your eyes, the way the sun hit them and turned them almost gold and I knew you were an amazing person – someone I wanted to get to know better."

I took a deep breath, keeping my gaze down. He had said I was a person…not three parts, but a whole…someone. "I'm sorry I was so standoffish at first. I…I've been hurt. I was afraid."

"I would never hurt you, Tiger."

I remembered the feelings I'd had for him, the way he'd kissed me softly in what seemed like another lifetime. Despite everything I'd just been through, I wanted to get to know him better too. I awkwardly extended my left hand toward him. "Jasper…you can call me Jasper."

He took my hand in his. "My name is Bismuth."

And that gentle touch sent tingles up my arm and down my spine. I looked into his deep brown eyes and felt color come to my cheeks. That part of me I thought was dead was slowly resurrected again and in spite of everything that had happened, I found myself smiling. I knew it wasn't exactly a happily ever after, but it was entirely possible that it could be the beginning of something extraordinary.