Capitulum VII: Munus

"You seem to be here every day." I looked up towards the source of the silky voice. A senior. "Is it the stillness of this place, or the books that bring you here?" Asked she.

I studied her. Tall. Her arms at her back, head inclined downwards, pale skin, sporting a friendly expression, her lips faintly curved inwards, narrowed-eyed, though forcefully. Her long wavy hair seemingly frozen in place, as though made of ceramic. "I guess... it's the fact that nobody bothers me." Answered I.

Her expression slightly changed, her brows arched upwards, her lids opened a little further, revealing more of her hazy pupils. Her lips lost the indications of a smile and now seemed to vaguely converge at the middle, in a somewhat pensive state.

"You're absolutely correct." Whispered she. "I love this place for the exact same reason. Please enjoy your time here, as much as you want." Added she, sounding seriously heartfelt. She turned around swiftly and quietly walked away.

-/-

And so it began. My descent into madness. My ascent into torture.

I'd spent the whole day in dread over the certainty of what would happen that night.

My dreams were still haunted by the deep-purple-clad Shadow who'd brought the prospect of death just a bit closer to me.

It made me sick. It made me hopeless. It made me want to die.

"Minako!" Someone called me. I took note of my surroundings. I was still in the classroom, even though classes had ended long ago. I must've been too terrified to even move. "We've been looking all over for you!" Said Natsuki. She was followed by Fuuka and both were smiling.

Fuuka noticed my pale face and asked: "What's wrong?"

I tried to clear my mind of tribulations and answered: "Nothing to worry about. So, what is it you wanted to tell me?"

Natsuki grinned. "I'm clear."

"How fortuitous!" Exclaimed I. "We must celebrate!"

"That's not all." Said Fuuka. "We're moving in today."

"Moving in?" Enquired I.

"To the Iwatodai Dormitory!" Announced Natsuki.

"Really? That means you... have joined SEES...?"

"Yeah, I mean, Tartarus totally sucks, however... I believe it's my duty to fight, because I have this power, and because I must redeem myself." Said Natsuki, with determination.

I looked at Fuuka regretfully and began: "Fuuka, you don't need to do this..."

She looked just as determined. "I want... to see to it... that Natsuki's safe," confessed she, "and you," added she, "and everyone else who's putting their lives in danger."

I couldn't help but smile melancholically.

Natsuki joined my arm in hers, then did the same to Fuuka's. "Let's go, people, let's party!"

I sighed in defeat. "Let's go, I guess...!"

They started laughing and I soon joined them.

-/-

When evening came, I helped them carry their belongings to their respective rooms. If I could protest to their enrolling, I would, but I couldn't, not when I felt so happy just for having them around in this place that isolated and alienated me for how many months. Our carefree chatting kept my thoughts away from the imminent situation. But as always, it wasn't forever.

Eventually the hour came when the darkness would engulf me.

"Minako." Uttered Yukari, slowly.

I closed my eyes and exhaled. "Can I ask you a favour?" 'Desperate times...'

She studied me intently, then said: "Sure."

I uttered weakly: "Can you hold my hand?" 'Desperate measures.'

Her brows shot up in surprise. She opened her mouth various times but ultimately produced no sound. She looked down and slowly moved her hand towards me. I reached for it and our fingers brushed together. She shuddered at the contact and her hand involuntarily retreated. I stepped forward and gripped it with increased strength, her knuckle pressing against my palm. Slowly, she relaxed and our hands slipped into a more comfortable position with our palms facing each other.

I stared at her and asked: "Is this all right?"

She swallowed and replied: "Yeah... Let's go."

-/-

We stopped at Tartarus's entrance area and Mitsuru explained our roles.

"So far it's been Junpei, Akihiko and Yukari exploring the floors while I use Penthesilea's abilities for analysis and orientation from here. From tomorrow onwards, Yamagishi will train under me and Moriyama will join the exploration team. From today onwards, Minako will be coming to Tartarus once a week to better prepare her for unavoidable dangerous situations and to strengthen her Persona, wasn't that what we agreed on, Minako?"

"Yes, Mitsuru." Responded I, gravely.

"Now, before we begin, I just want to make sure... You really don't want a weapon?"

"Are you kidding me?" Mumbled Junpei, almost inaudibly.

"That's right." Said I, in a strong tone. "No one can force me to sully my hands."

"It's okay." Mitsuru tried calming me. "We already agreed you'd be using only your Persona, that's not going to change, ever."

I nodded and attempted to reestablish my breathing.

"Well then, Yukari, I'll leave it to you." Said Mitsuru, cryptically.

Looking confident, Yukari uttered: "Got it."

"Lead on, Akihiko." Mitsuru turned around and walked towards a motorcycle.

"All right, people," started Akihiko "let's redo floor twenty tonight."

"But hadn't we stopped on twenty-seven?" Whined Junpei.

"Yeah, but I remember seeing a big locked chest in between floors twenty and twenty four, and with that key we got from The Hand..." Started Akihiko, excitedly.

"I got it, let's go!" Shouted Junpei, running towards the Teleporter.

"Heh." Akihiko grinned.

We stood in front of the machine and teleported to Tartarus's twentieth floor.

-/-

In the maze known as Tartarus, demonic entities known as Shadows roam the vast connected floors known as Blocks.

To climb up, we must fight.

The more you fight, the more you grow and tire.

The more you grow, the stronger you become.

The more you tire, the more it hurts when you're hit.

The stronger you are, the cockier you'll become.

The cockier you become, the more you'll be hit.

And the more you're hit the faster you'll die.

Tartarus is torture. Tartarus is death.

Tartarus is to live. To live is to die.

I didn't confront anything directly. I always kept my distance from the enemies. I was always shielded by someone for I was always vulnerable while I chanted. Even if I could confuse one foe, there was rarely a single one. And there was always one that insisted on targeting me. And there was always one that seemed immune to everything I did. Many times I thought I would be eaten alive, or burnt alive, or frozen alive, or shocked alive, or slashed or pierced or struck or cursed or killed. Yet, I wasn't. I wasn't.

Either a punch, a clobber, or a transfixing arrow in the nick of time saved me from perishing. Yet, my legs continued to tremble.

And inside me, Orpheus continued to weep.