(A/N) As always, I thank all you lovely people for your reviews and favorites. Sorry this chapter took a bit longer, but I had some trouble figuring out where the story was actually heading. I think I've got it figured now, though, so we should be good.
The Winter Soldier
Chapter 7: As Long As You're Mine
As thorough as Fury and Hill were in questioning Jane, the director still decided to keep her under observation for at least twenty-four hours, which the astrophysicist understood completely, knowing that they couldn't risk anything where Loki was concerned.
Currently, she was sitting in an interrogation room reading a book…with half a dozen cameras trained on her every move. Fury was in another room observing the feed, his expression no more readable than normal. He hardly even looked up when Clint entered the room.
"How does she seem to you?"
"Define 'seem'," Clint said slowly, watching the feed with him. "Doesn't look like anything's wrong. Doesn't feel like anything's wrong…but you know something's wrong, just the same…because it's Loki. He wouldn't just give her back…not even pretending it was a trade. He doesn't make deals."
"Right. He stacks the deck. So…Jane Foster's his ace in the hole."
"Question is how? She doesn't look possessed…but that doesn't mean a whole lot. Loki could probably hide it if he wanted to. We could always try giving her a good whack upside the head. See if that does anything," the archer suggested, only half teasing.
"I don't think we need to go that far just yet. She is contained, after all."
"Again, how much does that really mean?" Hawkeye asked him, his demeanor again becoming serious.
"Unfortunately, Agent Barton, Miss Foster is not you. Could be permanent damage if we tried something like what Agent Romanoff did with you."
"Have you got any better ideas?"
"For the moment, no," Fury said, finally turning to look at him. "But we don't have a lot of options at this point."
"And Rodgers?"
"I've got people and tech working around the clock…but I don't think any of us are confident of actually finding something. Right now, we're mostly waiting for him to make another move. He's not aggressing this time, so that makes things a little simpler, but…"
"He's coming after us now," Clint finished. "Which begs the question of who's next?"
XxX
Neither Steve nor Bucky slept at all that night, not wanting to waste a minute of the time they'd been given. Even when they weren't talking, they just held each other close, needing the comfort of that closeness. When Bucky finally began to pull away from him, Steve struggled to hold on a few moments longer.
"Steve…don't," Bucky protested, his voice little more than a whisper. "We shouldn't be touching when…he wakes up. He'll go off crazy."
Sighing heavily, Steve pressed a last, loving kiss to the other man's lips before letting him go. "I am gonna see you again," he promised, slowly sitting up as Bucky scooted back against the cell door.
"I love you…Steve," Bucky told him just before his eyes flickered shut.
"I love you, too, Bucky," he returned, not knowing if he would hear.
"No, you don't." The words were out of his mouth before his eyes had even reopened. "You're just saying that."
"Never," he said quietly, sincerely, meeting the Soldier's gaze as his eyes opened.
As the mercenary got to his feet, sneering, Loki silently appeared in the room beyond the cell, an identical look on his face.
"Why would you do that?" Steve asked the trickster, looking away from them. "Why would you let us have that?"
"Because that will make it all the worse when he kills you, won't it. The exchange of your love's faithful vow for his?" he mocked.
He was right. It would be worse if it ever got that far…but Steve wasn't going to let that happen.
"So, Captain Rodgers, good night?" Loki asked.
"Don't you know already?"
"I'll know when my little soldier tells me, but believe it or not, I was actually preoccupied last night. You and James are hardly my only concerns."
"You did something to Jane, didn't you."
"Ah, we are a clever boy, aren't we."
"What are you planning?"
"It can't be that hard, can it? If I want your friend to kill you in the end, what do you think's going to happen to the others?"
For a moment, Steve was worried, but it didn't take long for him to calm himself.
"They stopped you before; they'll do it again."
"Will they? Without their precious leader?"
"They can handle themselves. Somebody else needs me more than they do."
Loki sneered at this. "Absolutely precious…to be so devoted to another soul…even though he would see you dead."
"That isn't him. It's you," Steve said, his eyes narrowing as he glared at his captor.
"You're sure? After all, would my tactics have worked if there wasn't some small part of your love that was insecure…that believed you didn't really care about him?"
Steve held Loki's penetrating gaze throughout. In truth, it was something he'd considered…and he knew there was probably some truth in it, but he couldn't let that matter. He couldn't let Loki instill doubt in him…not after last night.
Loki tilted his head curiously to the side. "Impressive. Perhaps it will take a bit more to get to you than I thought. Oh, no…wait, I know," he said, kneeling in front of Steve. For a moment, he was staring into Loki's eyes, but then the scene suddenly changed.
He could still see Loki, but the room they were in was different. It looked to be some sort of cell, even darker and gloomier than the one they were actually in. Loki was standing over some sort of table…and when he got a look at that table, he could see Bucky strapped to it, looking like death warmed over. His lost arm hadn't even been replaced with the silver one in this memory. The stump was simply frozen over to prevent bleeding out.
"I must say," Loki began as he circled the table, "you certainly are resilient. Tell me, what is it that keeps you fighting?" Loki asked, running a hand down his captive's thigh. Bucky turned away and in that small movement, Steve felt his heart break a little more.
"You wouldn't understand."
"Wouldn't I? I understand you better than most, I think. I know you…the heart of you…the inside," he hissed. Bucky laughed weakly at this.
"You don't…know me…Master," he spat, his venom falling flat in his weakened state.
"Oh, I think I do. You see, you've given it away in the way you speak his name…the way you cry it out in your sleep. It's pathetic."
"You…you're wrong…"
"About what am I wrong? I didn't say it. I already know he's your best friend…your brother. What more is there for me to be mistaken about? Could it be…love, Sergeant Barnes?" he pressed, his expression twisting maliciously.
Bucky squeezed his eyes shut, unable to stop the few tears that escaped. Steve could practically see the thoughts on his face…the emotions in his bloodshot eyes when they reopened. It didn't matter anymore. There was no reason left to hide it. In his view, he had nothing left to lose…because Loki certainly couldn't take this away from him.
"Fine," he mumbled, his voice hoarse. "It's true. I'm over the god damn moon for that stupid son of a bitch," he admitted, more tears escaping against his will.
"And this is the first time you've ever spoken those words aloud, isn't it?" Loki said, a rather self-satisfied smirk lighting his face.
Bucky nodded. "Nobody was ever supposed to know…and that's why you can go fuck yourself. Nothing you do is gonna make me hurt him," he said, his expression grim.
"Except maybe…tell him how you feel about him. That would probably hurt him," Loki said matter-of-factly. "What would he think of you then? Your dear friend?"
For a moment, Bucky looked horrified, but then his expression slowly slipped into something resigned…hopeless. "He'd think I'm disgusting…wouldn't be able to look at me…I'd lose him," he finished, his voice dropping to a whisper.
"And still you care for him?"
Bucky sighed. "Can't not. I could sooner stop breathin'."
"My, my, how…touching," Loki said, drawing his staff from the air. "Well, we shall either break you of that or…grant your wish."
The last thing Loki left Steve on was the sound of Bucky screaming…and he knew it didn't matter how many years he survived after this; for as long as he lived, he would be able to hear that sound in his head.
Steve emerged from the illusion with his knees hugged against his chest like a frightened child. "How…how long?" he finally managed to make himself ask, looking up at Loki again.
"Long, Captain?"
"How long?" he snarled, leaping to his feet. "How long did that go on for?"
Loki looked thoughtful for a moment, then began to count on his fingers. "Let me think…about…six months would be my guess."
"Six…six months?" Steve repeated, feeling as if he'd been punched in the gut. Six months of that, and probably worse that Loki hadn't yet shown him…was it really any wonder the Winter Soldier had been born?
"Yes," the Soldier interrupted. "Six months of Hell…and you never came. I prayed…and I cried for you…but you never came to help me."
As he stared into Bucky's hate-fueled eyes, Steve knew that the fact he'd been a block of ice for most of that time was no excuse…not for this. Bucky had needed him and he hadn't been there for him…just like on the train. All he could muster was, "I'm sorry."
"Of course you're sorry. Everybody's sorry…after it's too late," the Soldier informed him before delivering a crunching blow to his jaw. The force of the blow sent Steve flying into the cell wall before crashing painfully to the floor. The mercenary continued his tirade as he advanced on him. "It doesn't matter now, though. I'm not that person anymore. My Master made me stronger. Everything he did burned the weakness out of me…and now you'll see just how strong I really am!"
Loki watched with no small sense of satisfaction as his creation whaled on the captain. It was the worst beating the man had received since becoming the super soldier, made all the worse by the fact that Bucky was familiar with just about every scrap he'd ever been in, and super soldier or no, he knew exactly how to take Steve Rodgers down. The trickster's glee was only heightened by the fact that the captain wasn't lifting a finger to defend himself…and he never would…not against Bucky. He would take this beating as a punishment for his perceived sins. That was what Loki loved about Captain America…his sense of responsibility…of guilt.
XxX
Natasha was the first to enter the interrogation room where Jane was under observation. When Fury and Hill couldn't turn up anything and the observation proved to be less than helpful, they'd decided to let Natasha enter, as she'd had luck with the trickster before. Jane seemed normal enough when she entered the room, but the Black Widow knew better than to let that fool her.
"So, getting bored yet?" the Russian asked, sitting down at the table across from Jane as she finished up the last page of her book.
"Well…I might be now that I've finished my book. How many hours have I got left?" she asked, offering her a resigned smile.
"Seven."
"Could be worse, I guess. And before you ask, Agent Romanoff, no, I don't remember anymore about the kidnapping than what I've told Director Fury. I really wish I could be more help to you guys, but…there's nothing. I was kept in the dark most of the time."
"Which probably means he tampered with your memory some," Natasha suggested. Jane nodded.
"Probably…no idea what it might have been, though."
Natasha stared at Jane for several long minutes, searching for a sign of the monster she knew was lurking somewhere within…but there was nothing…absolutely nothing. Jane just stared back at her, looking frustrated herself, unable to help.
Finally sighing, Natasha shook her head and stood up. Just as she was turning to leave, though, Jane reached out and touched her arm.
"Do you think you might be able to grab another one of my books? Seven hours is going to be a long time."
Natasha felt it the moment Jane's skin touched hers…the blistering cold of the dead of winter swept through her body, and when she looked back at Jane, it wasn't her she saw sitting there…but Loki.
She tried to react…to move, to speak, anything…but she was frozen.
"Hello, Agent Romanoff."
You!
The very next moment, it wasn't Loki anymore. It was Jane once again.
"Sure," she heard herself say; then her body turned and walked out of the room…all without any permission from her.
What do you think, Natasha? Loki's voice sounded in her head as she moved down the hallway.
What did you do to me?
It's good, isn't it? All the spell took was a simple touch, something I picked up from my benefactors. I hadn't tried it before now, but it seems to be working well. You'll behave just as you normally do, but your body will be my willing slave, doing my work and spreading my parasitic hypnosis.
Really, Loki? Just how many people can you reasonably expect to control like this?
No idea, but we'll soon see. After all, there are only two more I need…and as fate would have it, here's one of them now.
"Looking for something, Dr. Ross?" she heard herself asking as Betty moved down the hall, heading in the opposite direction.
"Yes. Do you know where Erik is? Bruce found traces of gamma radiation around the spot the Winter Soldier teleported away from. We're thinking the Soldier's abilities might somehow be Tesseract-based, and if that's the case, there might be a way to track him."
"Hoping to exchange notes, then," her mouth said without her as her hand reached up and rested on the other woman's shoulder. Then their eyes met, and Natasha couldn't see any reaction from her, but she knew what was happening. It took no more than a moment; then Natasha's arm pointed back the way the doctor had come. "Try that hallway you just passed. It'll take you to the transport room. He's probably working in there."
"Thank you," Betty said before quickly disappearing.
Pepper. Pepper's your last target, she said, the pieces starting to come together in her mind.
Just so. A picture begins to form, he replied as her body walked, unbidden, back to the control room where Fury and Clint were keeping watch. Clint looked up at her when she entered the room. Silently, Natasha pleaded with him to notice that something was wrong, but if he did, he gave no indication of it.
"Nothing?" Fury asked her.
"Zero," her mouth said. "Did it ever occur to anyone that maybe he really hasn't done anything…and he's just letting us twist like this because he gets off on it?"
"While that does sound like something he'd do…somehow, I don't think he'd let an opportunity like this go," Fury said.
While the director continued to go on, she and Clint shared a look. She had no idea what her eyes were saying, but his asked if she was all right…and he must have liked the answer he received, because his countenance relaxed noticeably.
Damn it, Barton! Can't you see what's happening here?
Of course, he can't. You're behaving just as you always do.
But he…he's…Clint, she uttered in a moment of doubt, unable to keep her thoughts hidden from her jailer.
Ah, yes, dear, sweet Clint Barton…the hero of your dark fairy tale. Perhaps it's better that the princess should slay her rescuer.
Natasha wished she could be surprised at the implications of the statement, but she wasn't. She'd been expecting it. That didn't mean, however, that she didn't feel the stab of horror penetrating her very being. If Clint didn't notice anything was wrong…she could easily kill him in his sleep…her…the one person he let his guard down for…the one person he trusted.
Now you're beginning to understand. My shield maidens are gathering at the very heart of Fury's empire to destroy the Avengers, and the best part is…they won't even know it's happening. The very people they trust their souls to…their executioners.
"Did Banner tell you he and Ross might have found a way to track the Winter Soldier?" she heard herself ask Fury.
"Yes. With any luck, we'll be able to find the son of a bitch before whatever he's got going with Jane busts wide open."
"And before anything happens to Rodgers," Clint put in.
"Luck? Since when have we ever had luck?" her mouth asked without her before her body turned and walked out. Natasha could have laughed. It was exactly what she would have said.
XxX
Bucky really had kept it coming all day. Loki had disappeared about an hour in, but Bucky hadn't let up. He'd kept after Steve…and he'd let him, let him take out all the rage, pain, and hate that was the Winter Soldier on his body. As the floor was methodically painted with his blood, Steve thought, rather morbidly, of the punching bags he'd taken to task after his reawakening. How different was he, really, from them?
It was brutal and painful…of course it was…but none of the day's brutalities compared with the moment Bucky was suddenly released from the Winter Soldier to see what he'd done.
"Buck…" Steve whispered as the other man fell to his knees before him, his eyes blown wide with horror and self-loathing. "It…it'll be all right. Just give it an hour or two. It'll all heal up."
"No, it won't," Bucky mumbled, his voice barely audible, even to Steve's enhanced hearing.
"What?"
"No, it won't!" he shouted, slamming a bleeding fist into the floor. "How can you say that? It'll never be all right again! Look…look what I've done to you," he said, his voice tapering off to a whisper as he reached forward a shaking hand to wipe the blood from Steve's split lip…but as he did, Steve reached up to take his hand in his, drawing it against his chest, so he could feel his heartbeat.
"It's going to be all right," he said firmly, holding Bucky's gaze with his own. After a time, he started to tremble, and he squeezed his eyes tightly shut, allowing Steve to pull him into his arms. He was mostly silent as he cried, but he shook badly, and Steve held him as close as he possibly could, offering what comfort he was able to.
Neither knew how long they lay like that, but when Bucky finally looked up at Steve again, the bleeding had stopped.
"See?" Steve attempted to soothe him, clumsily trying to wipe the tears from his face. "Just a few bones still knittin' up. It's gonna be fine."
"You should kill me," Bucky said, looking away from him.
"What?"
"Just get it over with…before he makes me kill you. What I saw when I woke up just now…that was worse than all my time with him. I couldn't live with myself…if I killed you…"
At this, Steve claimed Bucky's lips with his own, stealing his breath with kisses, just as he'd done to him.
"And you think I could?" he asked, resting his forehead against Bucky's once they'd left off kissing. "When you fell…I died that day. I couldn't live without you…not really. A different person walked away from that train. I went over that ledge with you. I felt responsible enough for that. What makes you think I could just kill you?"
"I should get you out of here, then."
"No. Not without you," he said, recalling Bucky's same words from all those years ago.
"You were always such a damn stubborn punk," Bucky growled.
"You know me," Steve said, pulling him close again. "I do have to wonder…why he did it again, though. Why he gave you back to me a second time."
"Because he likes it; he gets off on it," Bucky hissed, his voice layered with shades of hurt, shame, and helplessness. "He likes seeing what it does to me to wake up like this…what it does to you to see me go back."
Quite suddenly, the phrase 'he gets off on it' triggered something in Steve's memory. When the Winter Soldier was holding him, pushing into him…something he said…
"I know…I've had lots of practice."
"Bucky…" Steve started slowly, looking down at him. "What Loki did to you…he didn't do anything…unseemly…did he?"
Bucky raised an eyebrow, a humorless smirk twisting his features. "Unseemly? Really, Steve? I know you're kind of a prude, but you could just come right out and ask if he raped me."
"I…I didn't want-"
"No, no, I get it," Bucky interrupted, sitting up and looking down at the taller man, "but the answer's yes. Some of the things he likes…" he shuddered, unable to finish.
"Buck," Steve began, sitting up beside him, but Bucky just shook his head.
"It happened. There's nothing anybody can do about it now."
"Are you gonna be okay?" Steve asked as he rested a hand on his knee, not really knowing what else to say.
"I don't know," he answered honestly, taking Steve's hand in his and holding it tightly. "Sometimes…he would put hallucinations in my head…make me think I was with you instead of him."
"Oh…Buck…"
"That was the worst…waking up from that. No matter how bad he hurt me, there was nothing worse than that," he said, leaning over and pressing a rough kiss to Steve's neck, as if needing to reassure himself he was still there. Steve reciprocated with a kiss to his lips.
"I'm here. I'm not going anywhere," he soothed him, burying his fingers in his hair as the kissing escalated.
This was somehow different from the night before. Their movements were still slow and gentle…sensuous, but each was hyperaware of the other, sensing the change between them. Bucky understood it perfectly, but Steve, even though he was no longer a virgin, still didn't fully understand everything. There was one point, when they were both unclothed and there was a break in the kissing, that they looked into each other's eyes and Bucky knew they'd reached the point of no return.
"Are…are you sure?" he asked him, hesitantly reaching out a hand to stroke the side of his face. Steve gave a small nod, smiling as he reached up his own hand to lay on top of Bucky's.
"Yes…I want to do this, but…you? Are you okay?" he asked, his smile faltering slightly.
"Yeah. I don't want my only memory of this to be…what happened yesterday," he said, reaching for his discarded pants.
"You talk like we'll never do this again," Steve said, his tone clearly inviting argument as Bucky rummaged through a pocket, coming up with a small bottle.
"Well…you never know," the shorter man said, offering a pained smile.
"What's that?" Steve asked, glancing at the bottle.
"Lube," Bucky answered, his smile growing a shade more devious. "Guess you didn't see it yesterday, but trust me, we need it."
Steve didn't argue. He just leaned back against the cell wall and let Bucky take the lead. He was still a little sore from his beating, but he was pretty well healed by now. Bucky treated him gently, all the same, covering him with kisses while he worked to get him hard, which didn't take long at all.
Knowing that he didn't really know what to do, Bucky didn't give Steve the opportunity to stretch him. He simply set himself down on the other man, and Steve was so lost in the sensation of it, he couldn't think clearly enough to protest.
They moved against each other slowly, fitting together easily, as if they'd done it all their lives. Steve didn't last very long, coming quickly, and the feel of it inside him caused Bucky to follow him over the edge. Still having little control over himself, Steve was very loud, while Bucky was mostly quiet, gasping softly as he came against Steve's stomach. They didn't separate once they'd finished, just lay there together, holding each other and trying to catch their breath.
"I love you," Steve whispered to him, kissing the top of his head several times.
"I love you, too, Steve," he whispered back, kissing his neck as he wove a spell against his skin. Steve was sound asleep within moments.
"If you only knew how much," he said, feeling himself begin to cry again as he kissed Steve's lips one last time before pulling away from him. "That's why I have to get you out of here."
XxX