I'm not going to visit what happened today ever again. I just won't. No one can find out. Absolutely no one. Not even Lilly. I wonder if Lilly's still my friend. What I did was pretty horrible, and crappy. To leave her there, on the floor… I-I shouldn't have.
I'm on my bed, crying my eyes, praying that my dad and brother don't hear me. I hug my pillow close to my chest, and slightly bite the top part of it, trying to hold back my wailing. I want to go back to Tennessee! I want my old friends back!
I want to talk to Lilly most of all though… but I'm afraid to call her, I'm afraid to hear her say that we shouldn't be friends. My emotional attachment to her is too strong…
I squeeze the pillow tighter, and lean over to turn my radio on.
A late April day and it's sunny outside
And a red little girl's at the top of a slide
And an orange old man at the bottom
Wants to take her for a ride
As she slips and she tumbles the orange man mumbles
Pennies crash down from the sky
And he tells her he'll take her away where it's safe
And of course it is a lie
I place my hands over my ears, not wanting to hear anymore, but the song was captivating in a traumatic sort of way.
She's a third the way down and her skirts are yanked up
And her little girl cheeks' start to wrinkle
But her smile is wide and her legs are spread wider
Her hair growing long and her hips getting larger
Past getting brighter
Light growing weaker
I'm sobbing, clutching onto my pillow. I said I didn't want to remember what happened today! Stop… please…
She is halfway down now but the man is impatient
Shakes change in his pocket he might have to wait but she's coming
She's coming
She's coming
I'm crying and screaming so loud I'm surprised my dad hasn't walked in. My pillow is damp from my saliva and tears, I angrily throw it onto the floor, and grab onto something dry, my blanket.
Who are you blaming?
They're just playing
That's a good one
Who left the playground a good decade before the bell rang?
I didn't want to! It wasn't my choice! I didn't want to him to touch me!
As she starts to draw nearer the view becomes clearer
The splinters are painful but she doesn't feel it
The pennies were loaded and as they exploded
She starts to spin out of control
Her eyes are now closing her sleeves are unrolling
Up past her head and her veins are all showing
Not that she noticed she's thoroughly focused on
One old man who's laughing
Who's laughing
Who's laughing
He's laughing. He's at home laughing, telling his friends he scored with the party girl. I begin choking from my loud sobs, and still no one hears my pain.
Don't worry
I've got you
Don't worry
I've got you
Don't worry
I've got you
Don't worry
I've got you
The orange man's got you
A late April day and it's sunny outside
And a red little girl's at the top of a slide
And an orange old man at the bottom
Wants to take her for a ride
"Miley! Open up!" My dad angrily pounds on the door, "Miley!" he shrills. I don't think I've ever heard him sound so scared.
I cry louder and block out his shouting, pulling my blanket even closer to me, whilst in fetal position.
A loud bang later, and my dad is standing in the doorway, and splinters are hanging off the hinges. "Miley, my baby," he rushes over to me, and cradles me in his arms, pushing my hair away from my eyes, I didn't even notice that it was sticking to my wet face.
"I love you, I love you," he whispers over and over in my ear, running his fingers through my hair, "I love you Miles."
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
I didn't go to school the day after that day. I didn't go the next day, either, or for a whole two weeks. I couldn't see his face, I couldn't see her face. But today, I'm returning, I'm still not ready, but Jackson said he'd be there for me (through text messaging), and daddy promised to pick me up if I feel faint.
I clamp my hands to my backpack straps, and stand in front of the devil school. I glance back to my dad, who's sitting in his car, and he waves for me to head on in. Step by step I manage to finally enter the building, and I squeeze my eyes shut, hoping I don't see anyone, and hope they don't recognize me.
I reach my locker, and no one's confronted me yet, everything's going good so far. I grab my English book, and walk to Mr. Patier's class. I hope Lilly's absent today, please be absent! Hear my pleas!
I sit in my desk, and Mr. Patier looks at me confused, I was only in his class for two days before disappearing for two weeks. "You're still in my class?" he asks approaching me at my desk.
"Yes, I just wasn't feeling well," I half-lie. I really wasn't feeling well, but not in the sick way he's going to take it.
"Ah, well welcome back," he smiles, and takes his spot at the front of the class again.
I pull out my notebook and begin to doodle in it. "So you finally have the courage to come back after what you did, huh?" I look up nervously and see a very pissed off Lilly.
I feel like crying again, she doesn't know what happened. She doesn't understand… but I wouldn't expect her to. She's dressing in her usual black getup, and her blonde hair covers most of her face.
"I didn't do anything," I mumble, the only thing I could say without breaking down in front of her.
"Wow. Right, that's what you did wrong, 'cause you didn't do anything. You just stood there, and let me get a partially fractured jaw, what a great friend you are," she coldly walks away and sits as far away from me as possible.
I sniff and put my head down over my arms. Don't cry, Miley. Don't cry. Well, I'm not crying, I'm wailing. "Do you need to go to the nurse?" Mr. Patier's voice sounds concerned, and I feel his hand touch my shoulder.
"No!" I scream, and wipe away my tears; I can make it through today. I know I can, I won't be weak.
Lilly glares at me seemingly satisfied that she was able to make me cry.
I get out of chair and rush over to her, and throw my arms around her; I don't care if she's angry. I don't care; I just need her to hug me. I need someone to love me. "Miley?" she questions, and quickly returns the hug.
"I've been through so much, Lilly, I've been through so much," I grasp onto her even more now.
"I didn't mean to shout, I was just angry… that you left me. Let's get out of here and talk everything out, okay?" she brings her face close to mine, stroking my hair with one hand and the other is holding onto my hand.
"O-Okay," I breathe out, and pull out my phone to ask my dad to pick us up.
A/N: Sad, right:( I hate Jake just as much as you all do, but I love making him the bad guy. Anyways the song is called Slide by The Dresden Dolls. I highly recommend you listen to it.