Milhouse Gets A Step-Father

Chapter 7 – Oh, Dam

Bart and Milhouse jumped into the nearest boat they could find and started the engine. It wouldn't work.

Bart got out and investigated the engine at the back. "It's broken."

"It must have been Lima-Bean that did it." Said Milhouse looking at it closely.

Bart chuckled. "Lima-Bean. Heh-Heh."

"Quick. Check for another boat." They looked at all the other boats, but all of them had broken engines, except one.

"This one seems good. He must have forgot to destroy the engine." Said Milhouse. They jumped in. "Turn it on!"

Bart turned the key, and the boat suddenly shot into the water. "Woah! This thing goes really fast!"

"Turn that way, Bart! The Springfield Dam's that way!"

Bart turned the boat and they headed towards the Dam, with blistering speed. Unfortunately, to get to the Springfield Dam, they had to break through the barriers that were put there to make sure boat renters followed the route they were given.

They crashed the wooden barrier and sped off.

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Meanwhile, at the Springfield Bridge, Principal Seymour Skinner was walking home from work when he saw something he wasn't ever expecting.

He saw a boat speeding through water, with two small boys inside. In fact, those two small boys were…

Well, I'll be damned, thought Skinner; they're after just stealing a boat. What on earth is Simpson up to?

He continued walking until he reached a pay phone. He brought out a quarter and called the police station. There was no answer.

He hung up and scratched his chin. "Hmm… no one at the police station, Bart and Milhouse going crazy on a boat, rumours of a man trying to murder his wife… Simpson must have spent months thinking this through. But no one can get past Seymour Skinner…" He walked on. "But first, I have to speak with Milhouse's mother about this…"

He headed over to Milhouse's house and knocked on the front door. After five minutes, no one had come to the door. Skinner raised his eyebrow.

"This is quite strange." Said Skinner. He looked inside the window, it was dark, and a fridge was open. He checked the door, it was open. He walked slowly inside. "Hello?" he called out. There was no answer. He closed the fridge and noticed a piece of paper at the table. He picked it up and read it.

"Milhouse – Jack and I are going on a romantic boat-ride around Springfield; Jack even says he has a surprise for me! Be sure to be a good boy and go to school, we'll be home around seven, the key to the house is under the Welcome mat.

Mom." He read out loud. "Hmm… This is getting more and more strange." He turned around and headed towards the door, but bumped into a dark figure.
"Oh, I'm sorry." He said. "I didn't mean to be rude…"
The figure frowned and brought out a frying pan.
Skinner started sweating. "Um, what are you going to be doing with th…"
Before Skinner could finish his sentence, he was knocked cold and dragged out of the house.
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As the boat got nearer and nearer to the Dam, Bart and Milhouse could see people, sitting, standing, and lying. They also saw another person dragging an unconscious body onto the dam.
"That must be Lima-Bean!" said Milhouse.
"Which one, the unconscious body or the person dragging it?" asked Bart.
"The one dragging it, idiot!" said Milhouse.
"Well, SOOORRRY!" said Bart.
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But while Bart and Milhouse were getting closer to the dam, Stephen Lima-Bean was busy making sure things were looking smoothly for his plan to work.

Luanne Van Houten had her hands and feet tied. "What on earth are you doing?" she shouted.

"It's simple," said Lima-Bean, as he threw Skinner down, not into the water below, mind, "I'm gonna pretend that we've been boating, and we crashed into the dam, and fell into the water below. As far as everyone will know, we'll be dead. And my brother, who's in Dakota right now, will start a charity to make sure dams will become stronger. The money will come raking in, and I'll be rich!"

"There's a hole in that plan, Jack." Said Luane.

"Oh, yeah? What?"

"If people think you're dead, you won't be able to use the money you'll get from the charity."

"Ah, but that's the thing. Jack Burtin isn't my real name. It's Stephen Lima-Bean."

"Lima-Bean?" said the tied-up Chief Wiggum. "Lima-Bean. Oh my god, that's an hilarious name!" He started laughing, but a kick in the stomach from Lima-Bean knocked him out.

"As I was saying, my name is Stephen Lima-Bean. When the charity starts, I'll revert back to my original name and move back to Dakota, where I'll run the charity with my brother and get cold hard cash!"

"But people might recognise you as Jack Burtin." Said The Sea Captain, who was also tied up, and had a black eye following a few kicks to try and get him unconscious.

"Two words: Plastic Surgery." Said Lima-Bean. "It's not so hard to change one's life."

"But, your family and friends…" said Luanne.

"The only person who truly knows me is my brother." Said Lima-Bean.

"Alright, I understand now, but why did you bring Wiggum, the Sea Captain and Principal Skinner here?"

"Because…" said Lima-Bean, an angry look in his eye, "they know too much. And you do too." Luanne still looked confused. "There are bombs in this dam. When the time has come to put my plan into effect, I'll go to a safe location, and destroy the dam, the four of you will go with it."

"Arr. You can't get away with this!" shouted The Sea Captain.

Lima-Bean sniggered. "Au contraire, I have everything settled, after the explosion, I'll go straight to my plastic surgery appointment, at Crazy Larry's Surgery Room. If he tells anyone he saw me after the crash, no one will believe him! And you wanna know why? Cos he's CRAZY!" He turned towards the trigger, which was a safe distance away from the dam, but before he even got off the dam, he heard screams, the screams of two small boys. He moved his head straight around and saw a boat speeding towards the dam, with Milhouse and Bart screaming inside.

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Milhouse started to panic. "Bart, stop the boat! Stop the boat! STOP THE BOAT!"

"I'm trying, I'm trying!" Bart tried to stop it, but it seemed to be refusing to stop. He looked down. "Milhouse, the brakes are shot!"

Bart and Milhouse screamed even more as they rode over the top of the dam, rode right off. They had missed the people on it, but had fallen off the dam, and were falling into the big pool of water below.

"AAAAH!" the screamed.

"Milhouse? Milhouse!" shouted Luanne.

The boat fell down, with Bart and Milhouse still screaming, until it disappeared in the clouds of water below, and a great crash was heard. The screaming stopped. But the sound of crying from the top of the dam was heard.

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Oh. My. God. I can't believe I wrote a story this far without making a rushed-up, crappy ending. Now I probably just jinxed myself. XD Please review, PLEASE!