Life Partners
Chapter 7
The soft pink lips pressed softly against mine startled me. This was not something I would expect from Novak. My first instinct was to pull myself away, but his lips were so gentle and tender. No force was behind the kiss, only meaning. Closing my eyes I returned his kiss. I really didn't know why I was kissing him back or why I didn't automatically jerk back from the kiss. A rush of heat spread through out my entire body, as his tongue slipped into my mouth. I greeted his tongue with mine. Together they danced and intertwined with one another. His mouth tasted of beer and cigarettes, but in a pleasant way. He pulled away and just stared at me blankly, not sure of what to say. I blinked my eyes as my tongue ran over my lips tasting the remains of Novak's kiss which I secretly enjoyed.
I don't think either of us knew what to say afterwards. We both just sat there on the damn sofa staring at each other like damn deer in headlights. The silence was practically killing me. I had to say something.
"Umm…it's been one hell of a fucking bad day; I think I'll head to bed." It was random, but it broke the silence.
"Yeah, me too", Novak agreed. "Bam, if you need anything you know where my room is." He said softly.
"Yeah", I replied.
Walking towards my room, I could still feel the softness of his lips on mine. I didn't know if I should feel guilty for kissing him back or not. I didn't, because I enjoyed it. For that one short moment I had forgotten about what a fucking shitty ass day I had had. I did not know that it was possible to go from the worst shitty day of my life to practically an alright day because for that brief moment Novak seemed to make everything better. I smiled to myself closing my door behind me.
Slipping out of my jeans and into my boxers, I crawled into my bed hoping to get a good night's rest. I nuzzled into my pillow and closed my eyelids.
"I want to fuck him like the skater bitch he is. He deserves it."
"He feels so fucking tight. Tighter than any slut I have ever fucked."
"Oh God!"
"Stop it. Goddamn it you fucking faggots stop. I don't want to do this. Stop it. Get the fuck off me. I said get the fuck off of me you fucking faggots. I am not a fucking fag you sick fuck." I screamed loudly trying to kick my attackers off of me.
"GET THE FUCK OFF OF ME YOU FUCKING QUEER ASS BITCHES!" I yelled as loud as I could.
The continuous loud obnoxious laughter of the two men would not stop.
"Bam!" Novak yelled.
"Stop it you fucking faggots!" I cry loudly in my sleep.
I was kicking and screaming trying to set myself free from my attackers. My eyes sprung opened as soon as I hit something hard with my ass. The pain shot through my body like a million needles being pressed into my skin at once.
"FUCK!" I screamed in complete agony.
I look over to see Novak right beside me, realizing I had a nightmare.
"Bam, what are you screaming about?"
"I guess I just had a nightmare." I said rubbing my sore ass.
"Well, yeah, I kind of figured that when you screaming about faggots and that you are not one." Novak said trying to make a joke out of it.
"I was?" Not realizing that I must have actually been screaming.
"Yeah man, it sounded like they were attacking you."
The sound of Novak's words brought back the haunting memories.
"I don't know man, I don't know." I lied with a shaky voice.
"Bam, you never have nightmares. You are the one who always has these wet dreams." Novak laughed.
I let out a small chuckle because Novak was right. I was the one who had the wet dreams and most of them were about Ville Valo, one of the sexiest men I knew. I wanted him so bad. Oh how I wished he was here right now.
"Bam, are ya going to be alright?" Novak asked concerned.
"I think so." I lied once again, because I knew that once I close my eyes again they would come back to haunt me and terrorize me endlessly. Maybe if Novak stayed with me, they wouldn't come back and maybe I could get some sleep. That would be selfish of me to ask Novak to stay in here, but I feel safe around him.
"Brandon", I said as serious as possible.
"Yeah", he quietly replied.
"Would you do something for me?" I asked feeling so selfish.
"Anything", was his answer.
"Don't leave me tonight. I am scared Brandon."
Now I have done it. I just admitted to Novak that I was scared. I also feel like such a pussy for being scared of a damn dream. Fuck, forget pussy, I sound like a little kid wanting to crawl into bed with my parents. I am 26 years old and here I am asking my best friend to stay because I got raped and now am having nightmares about it and I am afraid to handle it all on my own. God, what the fuck was wrong with me. This wasn't me. How come I couldn't deal with this on my own? I wanted so much to tell Novak how they assaulted me, violated my ass with their sick dicks and fat fingers, and how they covered me with their bodily fluids. Most of all I want to tell him I need him, but I can't do that.
"Yeah, of course, Bam, I will stay." He replied softly.
"Thanks", I replied. I didn't know what else to say.
Crawling back into my bed along with Novak, we both snuggled our bodies under the thick blanket. I just lay there wide awake, but at the same time I did not feel so alone. I felt safe. Novak turned to face me, his eyes just staring into mine. I did it first. I kissed his lips so softly that he probably didn't feel it. He kissed back lightly barely touching his lips with mine. After the kiss parted, he just smiled at me. I gave him a half smile.
We both lay there in my bed facing one another. Not a word was spoken. Novak was looking deep into my eyes trying to read me like a book written in a foreign language, one he could not understand. I wish I could just tell him, but I could not bring myself to do so. I felt Novak grab my hand and I just let him. His hands were gently massaging my fingers and my hands.
"Bam, what the hell?" Novak asked in pure shock.
"Huh?" I managed to mutter not having a clue to what he was talking about until it hit me. He was holding the hand which was a canvas for all my bloody artwork.
"Oh don't worry bout that. I just fucked up in skating real bad." I lied. I hated lying especially to all my friend, but they didn't need to know.
"That sucks because there for a minute I thought…" Novak started to say.
"Thought what?" I mumbled.
"Never mind forget it. It was nothing." He said turning over on his side and going to sleep.
I pulled the covers over my head and hoped that tonight just maybe tonight I could get a few peaceful hours of sleep.