7

Spencer wasn't used to being confused. Especially not when it came to girls, for he'd never had a girl to be confused about—not one like Jenny, at least.

In the month or so that they'd known each other, Spencer had long acknowledged his…unique affinity for Jenny. (He had not, however, been confident enough to call it something less equivocal like, say, love.) She'd become such an integral part of his life—he did, after all, spend the majority of his lunch breaks with her—and was one of the few constants in the tumult of his daily life. Perhaps he had been relying too much on the stability of her presence; on the seemingly undying positivity in her attitude that, as of last night, had faltered and left him in an anxious abyss.

And when he got to work in the morning, the BAU's veteran profilers eyed him from afar, immediately aware of their boy's uneasiness.

"What do you think's up with Wonder Boy?" Morgan whispered to an equally curious JJ.

"Girl trouble?" she proposed.

Morgan nodded and smirked. "Ahhh, that sounds about right to me"

"Mornin' hot stuff one and hot stuff two," Penelope chimed from behind the two agents.

"Hey Baby Girl," Morgan flirted (as Morgan was wont to do).

"Mornin' Penelope," JJ answered.

"What mystery has attracted the attention of you fine profilers this early morn?"

Morgan pointed towards Reid, who was haphazardly going through some files at his desk. "We've got ourselves a case of Boy Genius anxiety."

"Top guess is love-sickness," JJ cut in.

Garcia watched the young profiler from afar, and her gut instinct gave her a little nudge. "Oh dear oh dear…" she mumbled, rushing over to Reid and leaving JJ and Morgan quite confused.

"Did she tell you?"

Reid whipped his head up to see a concerned Garcia hovering by him. "Did who tell me what?"

"Did Jenny tell you?"

"Garcia, what are you talking about?" Reid's eyes narrowed.

Penelope pulled up a swivel chair and plopped down across from the genius agent. "Oh my dear handsome boy genius," she sighed.

Spencer continued starring expectantly.

"Okay," Garcia crossed her legs and laid her hands on her lap. "Tell me what happened yesterday first."

"What?"

"Tell me why you're so out of it today, Genius—I know it has to do with Jenny."

Reid frowned.

"Come on now Sugar," Garcia beckoned.

"Sugar" let out a reluctant sigh, but still told Garcia about the undecipherable happening that was last night.

The tech analyst nodded. "I don't blame her…"

"Mind explaining…?" Spencer quipped.

Garcia sighed heavily. "I told her."

"About what, Garcia?"

"I told her about Emily…"

Emily. An electric chill shot up Spencer's spine. Ten thousand needles began prickling at his head after so many days of absence. He was overwhelmed with memories and re-opening wounds, and only faintly registered Garcia rubbing his shoulder. "W-why would you do that?" he sputtered out, fighting back waves of anger, pain, and fear as he held onto his composure for dear life.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Maybe they were on another case again?

But Spencer always told her before the team left…maybe he was just too busy and hadn't gotten the chance to call her yet?

Jenny didn't even notice how chewed up her straw had become until her sipping hit melted ice. She pushed the empty iced tea cup away and nearly slapped her cold, wet hand onto her forehead as she fell back into her chair. A deep sigh heaved from her chest. A couple options danced through her head before she grabbed her phone and dialed up the BAU's technical analyst.

"Hey Wonderwoman."

"Hey Penny." Enthusiasm was a little lacking in her voice.

"How are you doing?"

"Judging from your tone, you must know about me and Spencer then…"

"Oh sweetie," Penelope sighed.

"Did he tell you about it?"

"Yeah, just this morning."

"So is that why he didn't come for lunch today…?" Jenny frowned. "I thought maybe you guys were on another case again."

Garcia was silent for a few seconds. "Well, it's a bit more than that..." she said, "He knows that you know…about Emily, I mean."

Words got caught in her throat. "Oh," was all Jenny could manage.

"He's just a little shaken up about it," Garcia tried to offer some sort of comfort.

"No, no," Jenny assured, "I know, I know. Of course he's shaken up about it, that's perfectly understandable."

Garcia hesitated, "Is there anything I can do for you two?"

Jenny bit the inside of her cheek. "No, thanks Penelope, but we'll figure it out."

"Ok…but call me whenever, okay?"

"Sure thing. Thanks girl, I'll see you around."

"Always. G'bye sweet stuff," Garcia replied lovingly.

After hanging up the phone, Jenny tried to gather her thoughts. She knew about Emily, and now Spencer knew about her knowing. She knew how hard Emily's death was on him, and she worried about how he was dealing with resurfaced feelings. More than anything, Jenny wanted to comfort him—but was she really in the position to do so? Emily and Spencer—and the whole BAU team for that matter—they were family. Inseparable, deeply bonded family. She didn't like to think about it, but often times she felt like they were in a world she couldn't enter; she was still the guest at the dinner table. There was no doubt in her mind that they meant her no harm or foul, but loneliness is loneliness. She'd known Spencer for a fraction of the time that he'd been in the BAU; there was so much she didn't know about him—so how was she supposed to comfort him? How could she know what to say to him? As much as she wanted to, she didn't know what he was going through. All she could give him would be empty words, and empty words can't fill an empty heart.

Jenny swallowed the lump in her throat.

A sudden ring jerked her from her seat. She fumbled for her phone.

"Hey Melinda!" Jenny mentally squirmed—she said that a bit too loudly. "Uhm, what's up?"

"Are you alright?"

"Yeah yeah, I'm fine."

"Okay…well we've got a work load rush. Boss wanted to see if you could come in to help," Melinda replied.

"Yeah sure, see you in 20." Jenny gathered her stuff, shot out the café door and hopped into her car to drive to the Townhouse publishing firm. She just didn't know what to say to Spencer right now, so any distraction was welcome. Ignoring problems—Jenny knew that was never good, but she didn't know how Spencer was feeling, and it made her far more anxious than she should have been. What should she do? She just…she just didn't want to mess up. All she wanted was—

A bright red light flashed across her eyes.

Jenny was quite literally thrown out of her pensive phase as she slammed her breaks just short of rear-ending the car in front of her. Hot damn, did she just almost die? Her heart leapt out of her chest but, as she reeled her mind back into reality (while still ignoring the yells of the angry taxi driver behind her), a bout of clarity hit her.

Screw her goddamn feelings.

She was acting like an angsty teenager while Spencer was dealing with the death of one of his best friends—again. To hell with messing up and not knowing the right things to say—it was still better than saying nothing at all. Tomorrow night, she decided. She'd give both of them some time and then talk to him about it tomorrow night, and whatever happened, happened.

"Taking no chances means wasting your dreams.."

―Ellen Hopkins