So, random little interlude here….But it's kind of necessary. Don't worry the next chapter is in editing so it will be up mas rapido.

To all those unfamiliar with the Bat-canon (those familiar might wanna read just to make sure we're on the same page, there are, after all, so many bat-canons):

Jervis Tetch is the Mad Hatter, an Alice in Wonderland themed villain (notable accomplices are Dweedle Dee and Dweedle Dum). Edward Nygma is the Riddler, a brilliant man who has an intense love for word play/games. His crimes are often oriented around a single riddle (or series of them) that once figured out reveal the master plan. Selina Kyle is Catwoman, the sometimes fling of Batman's both in and out of the costumes. Oswald Cobblepot is the Penguin and small, strange little man with the same affinity for birds that Selina has with cats. His trick umbrella can be quite dangerous (it has a gun, poison darts, and razors to name a few items). Harvey Dent and Two-Face are two sides of the same coin, Harvey was a prosecutor until a witness on the stand threw acid on half his face, scarring him and breaking his mind in two. Harvey is not evil, but Two-Face is and can often convince Harvey to do evil things. Jonathon Crane (Scarecrow) was once the head psychiatrist at Arkham Asylum he was ousted after it was discovered that he was doing experiments on his patients. Harley Quinn is the Joker's long time love interest. She was his main counselor when he first got sent to Arkham and he slowly drove her insane. She is very violent and would do anything to protect her love. Pamela Isley as Poison Ivy, Pamela is the ultimate Tree Hugger. She wants to wipe the earth clean of the taint of humans and allow plants to take back over. Basil Karlo is a washed up actor who takes an experimental drug trial after getting in a car crash (it's supposed to restore his good looks). It turns him into Clayface.

Disclaimer: Still no.

Part 4

Chapter 6: In Which the Rogues are Uncomfortably Human

Jervis sighed and stared out at the room. The rabbits were running late again. The thought made him smile. His rabbits were always late, the poor little hoppers. Reaching up to remove his signature hat, he prepared himself for the upcoming meeting. These days were both to be looked forward to and dreaded. The Family was so strange; one never knew if they were getting the affectionate friends or the murderous rivals.

"When one does not know what it is, then it is something; but when one knows what it is, then it is nothing." A dry voice intoned from the entrance. Jervis grinned. His favorite rabbit had arrived.

"Why it's you, the Riddle, of course. Yet still we must wait for our fourths." Ed sat gracefully in the seat across from Jervis. A gleeful grin crossed his face.

"How are you, Jervy?" Unlike most of the members of their little family Edward Nygma was totally sane, he just happened to have a predilection for word puzzles. At times Jervis wished he was able to speak so normally without intense effort. These meetings were about the only times he ever made that effort.

"Fine," Jervis smiled back, "and you, Ed?"

"I can't complain." Ed threw his head back, "Oh, and it's not fourths. It's fifths. Harvey and Two-Face are dropping by."

"Two-Face's back?"

"Oh, yes. Harvey, after all would not be himself without himselves." They shared a giggle at the wordplay.

"Like two canaries tittering away," the sensuous voice of Selina Kyle wrapped around the room, preceding her entrance. Jervis and Ed did not bother to avert their eyes from her revealing dress. Selina liked to be viewed and was not (currently) attached to the Bat so they had no fear in doing so. Now, Harley, on the other hand…. Well that was one rabbit who he would never be appreciating, Jervis decided. Joker was just mad enough to kill one of their little family over something like that.

"Evening, Selina," Ed vacated his chair and gestured to it. Selina was a lady, after all.

"Evening gentlemen," She smirked at them, "What, may I ask, was so funny?"

"He who lives without a body, hears without ears, speaks without a mouth, to which the air alone gives birth."

"Ah, our living echo-man." She whispered, petting the black cat that had followed her into the room. The white one twined around Jervis' feet, mewing to be petted. He complied. Her constant companions had long since been accepted among the rest of them. "Harvey did tell me they would be stopping by." She flicked a finger, puffing some fur into the air, "Poor Nox is shedding." A small, pregnant pause, then, "Now, I must know. Have either of you had any action?"

They exchanged unsure glances and she threw her head back to laugh.

"Not like that! Men!" She chuckled, "I meant have you been able to avoid the flying rats and get any work done?"

Jervis felt his heart rate go back to normal. While it was true that he had started seeing a lovely girl with a Shakespeare…thing, he had no desire to share the sordid details of his love life with the people he considered siblings.

"I'm afraid I just haven't had the motivation," was all he said.

Ed smiled. "I just rejoined the world yesterday," he explained, "Jeramiah was reluctant to let me leave."

Selina nodded languidly, "I know the feeling, Jervis. Ever since he stopped stopping me on rooftops…" They blanched, hoping she wouldn't go on. While everyone knew she and their most hated enemy had a strange (and in their eyes disgusting) relationship, hearing about the Bat like that was just wrong. However Selina simply smirked again and sat in silence.

After a few moments her nose twitched, "Bird Boy is here." She said.

Sure enough, not thirty seconds later her cats got up and ran to greet the ostrich who followed the Penguin everywhere. Selina smile at them indulgently, liking one or two birds was alright with her (after all she did like Oswald and there was a certain fondness for the red breasted boy wonder in her heart) so long as they didn't make a habit of it.

"Oh, you brought Nox and Lumiere!" Oswald Cobblepot (Ozy to his friends) crowed happily. After all, if she could like his ostrich then he certainly could like a few of her cats. He crouched to pet the purring felines while Selina rose to scratch the large bird's head.

"Hello, gorgeous," she purred, "You look wonderful. You too, of course, Ozy." His crooked teeth flashed in a smile, as he preened at her complement.

"And you, Sel," his voice seemed grating normally but, here, in their safe place, it was almost soothing to their ears. One more of their little family was in place.

"Jervy, Ed," Ozy nodded happily towards them.

"Ah, I hope we're not too late?" Harvey Dent always spoke in plurals but just then he was referring to more than one body entering the room, for behind him stood Jonathon Crane.

"Harv, Johnny!" Ozy crowed. Ed waved his cane and Jervis tipped his hat, "and Two-Face?"

Harvey nodded, "We're here." For once both sides of his face were in agreement as to their emotion as a large grin suffused the scarred visage.

"I'm afraid I got stuck in traffic," ever polite Jonathon attempted to explain away his tardiness but the rest dismissed it.

"Nonsense," Selina laughed, "Why, most of us just arrived ourselves."

Jonathon smiled shyly. Selina scooted over and motioned for him to sit next to her. He complied and immediately began to pet the cat who jumped into his lap.

"Hello, Nox," he whispered. The cat mewed back. Jonathon felt the smile grow.

"Tea anyone?" Jervis asked.

"Me, and me." Harvey and Two-Face nodded, "two lumps and black if you please."

"None for me darling," Selina patted her stomach, "I had a date earlier and I'm still rather full."

"Five lumps," Ed answered. He had pulled a crossword puzzle from his bag, "10 letter word for lonely."

"Dejections, and no thanks," Ozy answered. Ed tipped an imaginary hat and filled in the answer.

"How about you, Johnny? Any tea? I hear it does wonders to calm your nerves." Jonathon shook his head rapidly.

"No, no thank you," He crouched closer to the cat, hoping to sink into the floor. The whole super-villain scene was a fairly recent development for him. Of course, before last year he did have his little experiments on the inmates of his asylum. A frown twisted his fair face at the thought of his asylum. How could that – that flying rodent take his beautiful asylum away from him? What right did he have? Wasn't the Batman just as big a criminal as him? He was trying to help the world, trying to understand the way the minds of the crazies. That was helping the world. Not hurting. Batman and the cops just couldn't understand that.

"Jonathon, you're hyperventilating," Selina's breath caressed his ear. Jonathon turned his face to her. She didn't move back and he found that his nose almost brushed hers. A slightly feral smile crossed the woman's face. Jonathon swallowed heavily. His breath stopped in his chest.

"Now, that's no good either." The woman backed up slightly and Jonathon found he could breathe again. "Can we please get back to business? There happens to be a small jeweled caracal that I have an appointment with. My window of opportunity closes in," she checked the slim silver watch Ed gave her last Christmas, "an hour and a half."

Properly brought to order the Gotham City Rogues got down to the business that brought them together in the first place. As always their first order of business was a moment of silence for their incarcerated fellows. First and foremost was, of course, the Joker. However, if one were to ask any of the rogues present they would not say that they missed the most famous of their number most. That answer would differ depending on who you were asking. Jonathon would say that he missed Victor. The serene older man always had a kind word and bit of advice for the up and comer. Selina would say that, while it was nice to have the men to herself, she missed girl's night out with Harley and Pamela. Ed pined for Pamela after they had a fling last summer. Harvey and Two-Face seemed content no matter who was in or out at any given time, after all, they were never alone.

The rest of the evening passed enjoyably. Selina left after thirty minutes. A quick kiss on the cheek had Jonathon blushing violently for another hour. After she left the conversation briefly turned to a rather morbid discussion of her affair with Batman; Jonathon shivered in disgust at the very thought.

Then, slowly (and regretfully) the rest of them filtered out until it was only Jonathon and Ed left on the sofas. Jon had not wanted to offend anyone by leaving early but Ed, well, Ed had plans. He always had plans.

"So, my boy," he smiled gleefully at Jonathon as soon as the faint click of Harvey's cane faded from audio range. "We have business to attend to you and I."

"We do?" His voice did NOT just tremble. Jonathon really hoped that Ed did not notice, but of course the older man did.

"Aw, don't be scared, Scarecrow." The smile widened.

Jonathon scowled, "I thought Joker was supposed to be the smiley one," he snapped.

Ed just laughed. "See? I knew you had a backbone in there somewhere. We just need to prove it to the rest of our little friends. I like you, Johnny. I really do. But you haven't done anything big. Or at least, nothing nearly big enough to really hang out with the likes of us."

"Well, I'm sor-" Ed cut off his sarcastic apology before it was even fully formed.

"No need to apologize, kid. I have a plan to fix it all right up. See, I've figured out a puzzle." He leaned in closer and gestured for Jonathon to do the same.

"But we're alone?" Against his will Jonathon found his voice lowering to a whisper. Ed reached up and grabbed his collar, yanking him close.

"Aren't you going to ask what puzzle I solved?" Ed finally hissed.

"Uh…. What did you fig-" Once again he was not allowed to finish his thought.

"I know where the Batman isn't!" Ed exclaimed triumphantly.

Jonathon straightened right back up. Maybe Ed wasn't as sane as he had everyone convinced he was.

"Congratulations, Edward," he snapped. "I'm going home."

A vise like grip closed on his wrist. Jonathon felt the first thrill of true fear race through his veins.

"Let me go," he murmured.

Ed recognized the dangerous edge to Jonathon's voice. The mild mannered doctor was a madman. It was hard to remember that sometimes. He dropped the kid's wrist and backed up. Jonathon snatched up his overcoat and turned to go.

"Listen, kid, I just got out of your little estate last week. I might have talked to Basil before I left. He was brought in the day I escaped. He told me about a little encounter in a warehouse with a bunch of kids. Our little bird boy was with them."

Jonathon turned to face Ed fully.

"Basil told me that after he beat the kiddos unconscious who should show up but our favorite flying fiend, the Batman."

"So you've successfully proved that Batman will protect Robin. We already knew that."

Ed sighed deeply, "The puzzle isn't that hard, kid. The last three nights the only caped crusader in town has been the bird. No Bat to be found. I say that you hit these kids and hit them good while Batsy is bye bye."

Jonathon considered his compatriot's words carefully, "He could just be letting the boy have a little reign." He finally decided.

Ed pouted. "There is that. Which is why I'm going to lure him and his little playmates out tomorrow night. I'll beat them and if not Bat then you are free to finish the job."

"If you have the beat why would you let them go?" His ever logical mind could not seem to compute Ed's plans.

"Because, the bird is not nearly as fun as the Bat," Ed sighed, "As disturbing as her reasons are, Selina is right. Everything is so much more fun when Bats is around. I feel like I have to hold back on my games with everyone else. So, really I don't care about beating the kids, everyone's already scared of me. You, on the other hand…."

Jonathon glared. "Fine, I'll do it," he spat. "Just contact me when you know Batman is out of the picture." With that he pulled his coat on and finally left.

Ed leaned back in the plush sofa and smiled. What he said was true, in the strictest sense. Things were less fun with no Batman. But the boy showed promise. He was young and smart and maybe one day he could be as great as his mentor. Ed thought he might like that. It was after all, boring to be the greatest mind on earth.

This would be a test of the boy. No riddles, no games, just seeing how he performed under pressure and without tall, dark, and gloomy's protection.

Well, maybe a few riddles.

This was gonna be fun.

The next part is all done and will actually have everyone, I just thought it might be nice to see the people behind what's about to happen. To be honest though, I really debated about posting this chapter. If ya'll like it I have an idea for one more similar to this before the final chapter, but if not then (obviously) I won't post that one. Thanks!