Warning: Mentions sex, and the inevitable consequences; and contains two mild swear words.

Prompt: 'Donna in labour', by luinel_anduril

Summary: Set in a fluffy AU where the Doctor and Donna have two sons, this is what happened when the first son was born.

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters in this story apart from the baby.

A/N: This story is dedicated to luinel_anduril who helped me gain the confidence to go beyond commenting to try writing.

Chapter 7 - Baby Who

It was time, Donna felt, to get this out into the open. She sat down opposite the Doctor at the kitchen table and fired her question. "Why don't we make love any more?"

To say he had not been expecting this question would be an understatement. He almost choked on his toast and had to take a gulp of his tea before he answered, "What?"

"I said," she slowly enunciated, as if he had been suddenly rendered deaf, "why don't we…"

"Yes, I heard that bit!" he retorted, "Why are you asking?"

"And you claim to have a massive brain!" she scoffed. "Why do you think?"

He reached across the narrow table and took hold of her hands, talking to her as gently as he could in the circumstances, "You know why. I don't want to hurt you."

"It's because I look like I've got a football shoved up my jumper, isn't it?" she demanded.

He sighed. "Donna, the size of your bulge has got nothing to do with my feelings."

She pulled her hands away from his, and pursed her lips in disgust, "Why can't you be honest for once? I repulse you, don't I?"

He saw the tears threatening to overwhelm her as he sought to comfort her, "You know that's not true! Your hormones are making you go bats."

"And that's your scientific explanation is it? You choose to turn into a bloke at a time like this, and blame my bloody hormones!" she wiped at her eyes, angry that she could be so weak like this. "Well, sorry buster but I don't buy it! You had your fun but you don't want to look at the consequences." She had intended to end that on an angry tirade, preferable with a mighty stomp out of the room with a good loud bang of a door, but she dissolved on the last word of her sentence, sobbing.

He took her face in his hands and began to gently kiss her forehead, her eyes, her cheeks, before placing kisses on her mouth. "I'll never regret the fun we've had together," he told her, giving her one of his trademark cheeky eyebrow waggles. "Come on, shall we go and have a cuddle in the library? Only this table is beginning to hurt my stomach"

Donna looked at him, draped across the kitchen table, "Call that pain!" She stood up and let him drop his hands to take hold of her waist, wherever that had gone to, and steer her towards the library. "And this had better be a long uninterrupted cuddle, with lots of…," she threw him an astonished look.

"What? Why are you looking at me like that?" he asked, when she didn't move.

"Something just went 'bang'," she told him simply. As he did his best guppy fish impression for her, she continued, "I think my waters have just broke!"

She made as fast a dash to the bathroom as she could, leaving him still staring in the kitchen. He gained focus and began to follow her, "Well, have you?" he called out.

An echo-y voice called back, "Yes! It's starting! Well, it will be pretty soon."

He felt panic starting to rise within him at the thought, and he tried to rein it in by reminding himself where Donna's overnight bag was, the coordinates for the hospital ("No way am I letting you deliver this baby!" Donna had insisted, as if he'd meant to trap them underground for 3 hours that time without supplies), the phone number of Wilf's mobile, the help offered by Jack's team at Torchwood, what that nice lady at the antenatal classes had said, the warning Sylvia had threatened him with, where his glasses were, if that lever was still wonky…

Donna appeared by his side and caressed his face, "It's okay, Spaceman, you'll be all right. Just calm down and we'll get through this together." She smiled softly at him.

"Am I panicking?" he asked.

"Just a wee bit," she confirmed, "but I had been expecting it." She took his shaking hand, "Do you want a glass of water?"

"I feel like having a large glass of brandy!" he grinned at her. "What do we do first again?"

"Well, a phone call to the hospital would help. Then we should inform Jack at Torchwood, my mum and all the usual suspects," she watched him trying to control his breathing, and had a sudden fit of the giggles.

"Oh! I know that one! About the giggles! That can happen in labour," he gleefully told her.

Donna swatted his arm, "It can also happen if you're being a daft bugger! Now go and make that phone call so that I can arrive on time."

"Erm… where did I…?" he patted himself, obviously looking for something.

"In the console, where you usually leave it?" offered Donna. Seeing the Doctor's continued confusion, she took charge, "Don't worry, I'll go do it. You go and fetch my bag of bits." Men are the same the universe over! The hospital midwife had been comfortingly efficient on the phone, and Jack had been, well, Jack! Still, Donna had appreciated being flirted with at such a time, and it lightened her mood considerably.

"Who was that?" the Doctor demanded as she replaced the phone.

"Jack. Why?" Donna could see he was irked by her reaction to Jack's flirting, and decided to tease him whilst she could.

"Oh, nothing… nothing really. So what did he say?" he tried for nonchalance.

"He said…," and she deliberately giggled, "he'd be prepared to come and hold my hand, any time at all."

The Doctor put down her bag, and went to encircle her with his arms possessively, before asking "And what did you say?"

He was making this too easy for her, and she reasoned that it was working as a panic-distraction. "Oh, you know, that there's a time for everything and all that," as she brought her arms up to hug him. "Should I take him up on his offer later?"

The Doctor gave a very definite, "No!" as a reply. He had begun to kiss her slowly but passionately when the first major contraction hit, taking her breath and interest away. "Are you alright?" he worriedly considered her.

"No, you prawn! It's starting properly." She tried not to glare at him, she really did. But she quickly took pity on him when she saw his stricken look, "How about the hospital… as in… Now!"

"Oh, yes…," he started his console dance, "Coming right up… In a jiffy… once I manage to…"

"The Doctor, my hero," Donna snickered. She would have laughed in normal circumstances, but another contraction hit her unawares. "Any chance of you being quick about it?" she asked him, "Only this baby wants to make an appearance."

"Yeah, that contraction was a bit quick after the last one," he began to tell her, but his own mini-panic attack hit him. "Donna! I don't think… you'll have to…," he stammered out as he gulped for air.

"Oh terrific!" Donna sighed, "Just what I needed right now! Do you think you can manage to pull yourself together when I need you? Cos I'm going to have this baby either with or without you; and I'm beginning to think I'll hold onto anybody's hand at this moment." She gritted her teeth through a contraction and mentally steeled herself to dump him at the first opportunity. The mobile phone still showing Jack's number looked extremely tempting at that moment.

The Doctor had noted her glance at the phone and correctly guessed what was going through her mind. "No, don't worry Donna! I can do this!" he brought himself to stand next to her, "Tell me again."

"What bit?" she was having trouble concentrating on much beyond the pain she was suffering.

"The needing bit," he implored, reaching out to her. "How much do you need me?"

"Oh, you're path-…" the pain tore through her again, and she gripped his hand in fear, "Loads! I need you loads. Now stop being a wuss and get me some help!"

The TARDIS shuddered to a gentle halt; he bent down and lifted her up. "One hospital coming right up!" he exclaimed.

"You'll put your back out! Put me down," she ordered him. She couldn't tell if the pain was worsening because he had picked her up or despite it. "Anywhere in the hospital will do."

The midwife who greeted them at the Maternity Unit doors laughed at them as they appeared, "You're the first father I've seen do that!"

"Oh, I'm special me!" the Doctor beamed.

Donna couldn't help rolling her eyes, "Special is one way to describe you! Now put me down before you drop me!"

Under the scrutiny of the midwife, the Doctor dutifully put Donna safely down, and she was guided into a separate room to be examined before being taken to the birthing rooms. The Doctor paced up and down; there were too many words to describe how he felt as he waited for Donna to reappear, bored, frightened and excited were the main ones. They certainly took their time.

By the time Donna appeared again, the Doctor had turned several information leaflets into origami flapping birds and various other animals.

"Oh, you haven't had it yet then," he joked.

"Listen here, Sunshine, any more quips like that and you're going home," Donna playfully threatened. "How you coping over there?"

"Trying hard not to worry too much. What about you?" he asked tentatively. There was something about the new midwife's gaze that he found beady as they walked the remaining bit of corridor to the ward.

"Me? Never been finer! Thought I might hang about a bit round here for a while, you know, in case anyone famous turns up," Donna quipped.

"Why? Who's coming here then? Anyone I should know?" he really did look puzzled. Donna seemed to be much more knowledgeable about the hospital than him.

"Well I did hear," she whispered to him as the midwife guided her onto a bed, "that Noble Junior will be making an appearance."

He was totally confused now, "Who the hell is that?" It was no good her expecting him to remember every single minor celebrity in his state of mind.

"The little fella we saw on the scan the other week," she took hold of his hand as yet another triple contraction began, "the one with the really pale complexion." It was so sad to see him loosing it.

"Oh right! Sorry!" he tried to regain blood supply to his fingers. "Do you want me to mop your brow or get you anything; bottle of water, special music, packet of sweets, er…"

"No! And nor do I want you fiddling with any of the equipment," she said as she noticed him eyeing the fetal monitor, and smiled at his answering pout. "Just sit there and try to take my mind off this pain," she began to grip his hand again.

"How long will I have to do that then?" he wanted to know, "What would you like me to do to entertain you."

"How the hell do I know! It'll be hours, okay? Do whatever you like, talk, sing, but don't juggle!" she ordered.

He sniffed, "Okay! I can do that." He began to tell her all the places he'd like to take them to, and the best places in the universe to show a child. He was well aware that it was partly a ruse to calm him down as much as her, but he grabbed the opportunity with both hands.

His attention had wandered at several points, during which a midwife told him, in no uncertain terms, "Get away from the equipment, Mr Noble! Dads are only allowed at the face end, please leave the business end to us!" when he had yet again tried to sonic the monitor. Donna had apologised for her mad-scientist husband's habit of wanting to tweak everything. The Doctor had apologised to Donna for almost ruining her nurse-patient relationship; although he wasn't entirely convinced she hadn't deliberately crushed his hand during a contraction as punishment. He was glad she didn't have the energy to slap him instead.

Two hours later, after much pushing but amazingly without swearing, Donna gave birth to their baby son. The actual pushing part had taken no more than twenty-five minutes; the Doctor had held Donna's hand throughout but had abandoned the wet flannel to mop her brow when she'd told him exactly where to stick it.

The newborn baby hadn't cried once, but had looked around at his new surroundings with blurry wonder. The Doctor had sat cuddling his son whilst the midwives cleaned Donna up and brought her tea and toast. She'd declared it food of the gods.

She turned her tired gaze to the Doctor, "So what do you think of him?"

He couldn't have looked happier if he'd tried, "Brilliant! Absolutely brilliant! I'd forgotten how small babies are."

"Yeah," she agreed, "but I should have better luck feeding him up than you."

She giggled at his indignant, "Oi!" The Doctor considered the sleeping infant in his arms again, "Do you think we ought to have another one?"

Donna rustled up the best glare she could in the circumstances, which turned out to be a pretty good one, "Don't even think of coming near me in the next few months, do you hear me?"

He laughed. "You've changed your tune since earlier in the kitchen," he grinned at her.

"That was before I felt I was prodded within an inch of my life and I'd been ripped in two," she told him. "Now, hand him back while you go earn your keep."

In an effort to keep him occupied, Donna had sent him off to phone all the relevant parties. The Doctor had looked relieved to be given such an important job, and took off to boast tell everyone.

Donna looked down at the tiny infant in her arms, amazed at the mass of hair that was already on his little head.

"Have you thought of a name yet?" the midwife asked.

Donna chuckled, "Well, all the names I had in mind don't seem to fit now, though I'm pretty sure about his middle name. He looks like a little teddy bear."

The midwife considered him, "That's quite sweet though. Your little teddy bear! I can see why you think that. It's the fuzz on top that does it." She smiled sweetly at Donna. "He really is gorgeous!"

Donna blushed at the compliment, whilst imagining that the midwife said that to all the new mums. "Yeah, my little teddy Edward," she said to the baby softly, taking hold of his tiny finger. He made a contented sigh.

"What name was that?" the Doctor asked as he appeared back by her side.

"What did I tell you about eavesdropping?" she pretended to be annoyed with him. "I said teddy Edward."

"That seems to suit him." He looked up at Donna after examining the baby. "What do you think?"

"I think we have a winner," she smiled at them both. "Suppose we should tell other people now."

After being given the job of finding the hospital gift shop and buying 'It's a boy' cards, the Doctor arrived back at her side still looking as pleased as punch. "Look who I found in the corridor," he announced, ushering in Sylvia and Wilf.

Donna tiredly beamed at them. "Mum, Gramps, meet your new grandson; Edward Geoffrey Noble!" Donna handed Teddie to his new grandmother.

"Oh Donna! He's beautiful," Sylvia visibly melted as she took Teddie into her arms.

Wilf wiped away a manly tear, "Never thought I'd see the day…" It was one of the proudest moments of his life. "Congratulations to the pair of you!"

The Doctor stood back and watched his new family, enjoying the fuss and revelling in the weirdness of it all. Donna had changed his life and so many ways, and he was grateful for every single one of them.

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