Outlander: Returning Home

Chapter 7: Gathering

Jamie

My days had nae ever been mine, not that I thought they should hae been. Yet, I yearned to be free from the bonds that held me here. I kent the price on my head was the main reason. I dinna want to bring the English back to Lallybroch again, but I missed home. I missed my sister and the home I grew up in.

I sometimes thought I could see the lad I was when I looked into the eyes of Roger. He was bright for his age and told such stories. He told me that his mam and he came here through stones, that she was going to be going through them and he fell with her. I was going to ask him more about it when I saw Claire in the distance. I wasna sure who she was or what she really was, but there were times that I felt like I was bein' drawn to her. I must admit there was a mystery about her that was so verra invitin'.

"What's goin' on in that heid of yours?" Murtagh asked me when I brought my horse back into the stable. It used to bother me at how often he could tell I had somethin' on my mind without me even sayin' anythin'. If it weren't for the fact that I wasna sure of the thoughts and feelin's I was havin', I would tell him.

"I saw several of the MacKenzie men entering the courtyard," I grumbled as he looked out toward the forest, I decided to tell him instead. It was the truth, but not really the whole truth. I was concerned about the gatherin'. Since I wasn't plannin' on attendin' I hoped to be safe.

"Maybe ye should lay low for a while," he encouraged as I watched Roger running toward us from his keeper. If Murtagh dinna bring him, Mrs. Fitz was sure to send him with one of the younger girls. I kent verra well how my godfather worrit for me, but at some point I would have to either take the blasted oath or leave. I knew verra well Dougal had it in for me, but I wasna sure what Colum thought.

"Jamie, Jamie!" he yelled as he got closer to us. "Can we play today instead of work?" he asked; I just chuckled. He liked learning about the horses, but he was just a wee lad and wanted to play.

"Mayhap," I responded as I watched him climb up on the rail to sit beside Murtagh.

"Momma went out in the forest to play with the other children. I wanted to go, too, but she sended me here," he replied softly, a wee bit out of breath. I was thankful he could communicate well because I dinna think I would have had the patience to wait for him to think of each and every word he wanted to say.

"I'll leave the two of ye to it. I have somethin' that needs doin'," Murtagh stated while he got ready to saddle his horse. I was a wee bit surprised to hear him say he was goin' somewhere since I thought he would bide here until the gatherin' ended. I kent well enough not to ask; if he had wanted me to know he would hae told me.

"Come wi' me, let's go hae a roundabout with the others," I said smiling down at Roger as he ran toward the forest. I wasna aware of how fast the wee lad could go and before I knew it he was gone. "Come back here, lad!" I yelled as I watched him fling himself into his mam's skirt. 'Twas a sight to behold. I felt this odd sensation fill me as I watched the event unfold. I wished it was my bairn hugging her instead. "I found ye," I continued, shakin' the thoughts from my mind.

"I guess we caught more than one beast," Claire replied while the other children with her began to laugh. I reached out to help her to her feet.

"Mistress Claire, can we play some more?" Hamish asked as she began to pat her skirt down and dust herself off. It was unusual to watch her do something so different from the usual work she did.

"The MacKenzie dinna say ye could waste the whole day out here," Rupert snapped as the children all groaned. I laughed as I looked up to see the look on his face. I knew what he probably wanted, but I also kent well that this woman wasna going to just fade away either.

"Who says we're done yet? There's still lots more to explore," she retorted coldly. All I could do was watch her. She amazed me sometimes at how strong-willed she was. One thing for certain, she wasna scarit of what people thought of her.

"Mistress Beauchamp! We're missing the festivities. It's nae since I was a bairn we've had a gatherin' at Leoch," Rupert groaned; the children she had come out with were already headed back toward the forest.

"Mistress Beauchamp has to go to work, but I think I could gie ye an hour or so," I quickly offered. Angus and Rupert seemed to perk up at the thought of goin' anywhere other than out wi' her.

I decided to lead the children a little farther into the forest to play a game of hide and seek. Of course I had to be it since I was the adult, or at least that's what Hamish said. I couldna really tell him he was it because he might have told Colum and now wasna the time to upset the laird. Nae, I was it several times. At least I had wee Roger to help me find the children. He would catch some movement in the thicket and tell me. It was fun. We were about to start a fresh game when I heard the children being called in.

"We should go back," I finally said to Roger who looked half dead on his feet. I picked him up and carried him back to the stables where I sat him down on a pile of hay covered by a horse blanket.

"What are yer plans?" Auld Alex asked as I went into one of the stalls knowin' full well what he was talkin' about. It was interestin' to know so many people thought I would make a mistake at this moment in time. I kent verra well who I was and who I wasn't.

"I havena given it much thought," I managed to say as he moved into the stall with me not wantin' to let on what was really going on in my heid.

"Stay away, dinna come up to the castle. I had Mrs. Fitz send some food down here for ye. I know ye'll do the right thing, but dinna be daft," he said as I watched him walk out of the stall. Of course I wouldna do anythin' daft. I may have been a little slow at thin's, but takin' an oath or pledge wasna somethin' to make light of. If I ended up in front of Colum at the gatherin' it wouldna be of my own doin'.

I waited a bit before settlin' in for the time bein'. I was certain that I dinna want to swear my oath to Colum. Not because of anythin' wrong, but I couldna forswear my own clan. I wouldna be able to bear my clan colors or anything else from it. I was a Fraser by birth and by name; I couldn't be anyone other than that.

"I'll bide here." I chuckled out loud when I heard feet moving. I looked up to see two bright eyes lookin' back at me. Damn it, Alec forgot the lad. I couldna return him to his mam so I decided to keep him wi' me. The two of us ate our dinner quietly and I watched him a little longer until he went back to sleep. I eased him slightly down into the hay behind me and tucked myself in for the night.

Claire

Life for me and Roger seemed to be moving at a better pace than my life at Leoch did the first time around. I was actually able to get more done without all the fuss I had to make before. I rose at dawn just like any other castle inhabitant and began working. Mrs. Fitz would find simple things for me to do while I had free time, or I would work in the garden collecting herbs, planting things, or just playing with the young children.

As the people of the castle became more aware of my presence, the women, at first, would come to me asking questions about this or that. It was nice to form a small semblance of friendship with them as they began to include me at times, in simple conversation. I wasn't too sure if it was just because they were curious about what I really did or if Colum and Dougal asked them to try to gain information from me. As time passed, more people came to me when they learned I knew something of medicine and healing. I enjoyed working in the surgery; the castle folk were very generous to me. I had been given several little trinkets from a few of the men who had needed stitches; two women sent jams or preserves, and the two boys I helped had given me a small blank book in which to press flowers.

It seemed odd that it took falling through some ancient stones to find the piece of life I had been missing all along, but hadn't known it at the time. When I had reconnected with Frank, I knew that there seemed to be something missing; at the time I thought it was a vase. No, it took me 200 years in the past to realize it was family, a sense of love, and children. It still felt raw to think about Faith, my little girl who never had a chance. But in this reality she hadn't yet been conceived. I wanted to think that this redo was to right the wrongs from my previous life, but thinking like that made me feel a dull ache for the second child I might have lost, even though I knew I hadn't truly lost it. She or he hadn't even been thought of yet.

"Tonight we feast! And eat like kings!" Hamish yelled as he and several other children chased me through the woods. I spent a few mornings outside with them. It was a blessing to be able to interact more with the families and their children.

"You won't make a meal of me yet!" I yelled back as I ran a little faster coming through a clearing that would eventually lead me right to Angus and Rupert.

"The beast is getting away!" another child called out as I felt one of them grab the hem of my skirt. I slipped, falling head first in front of Angus who moved to stand above me. I closed my eyes and looked the other way, knowing I was about ready to get a view that wouldn't be easy to forget.

"Did somethin' catch yer eye, lassie?" Angus joked as I turned my head to the side to see Roger running toward us.

"Come back here, lad!" I heard Jamie yell as two arms quickly wrapped around me. I barely caught him when he launched himself at me.

"I found ye," Jamie said as he reached for Roger who was laughing into my skirt.

"I guess we caught more than one beast," I replied. The other children laughed as Jamie helped me up.

"Mistress Claire, can we play some more," Hamish asked as I patted my skirt down.

"The MacKenzie dinna say ye could waste the whole day out here," Rupert snapped as the children all groaned.

"Who says we're done yet? There's still lots more to explore," I replied coldly as I watched Jamie out of the corner of my eye. Roger had moved from my skirt to stand beside Jamie during the talking.

"Mistress Beauchamp! We're missing the festivities. It's nae since I was a bairn we've had a gathering at Leoch," Rupert groaned as I saw the children moving toward the forest once more. I would have loved to play the day away, but I knew there was work to be done. I would have to get on with the day sooner or later.

"Come, Mistress Beauchamp has to go to work, but I think I could give ye an hour or so," Jamie said quickly as I saw Angus perk up at the thought of being anywhere else but where he currently was.

"Fine, I guess we could go back," I said as I reached down and gave Roger a kiss to the forehead before sending him back to play. I trailed after my two escorts when they led me through the forest back to the clearing where several visiting families were camped. It was different to see them so excited and going about their day. It was hard to fathom that this would all change when the Scots lost the Rising.

It still fascinated me to see the joy of families getting together to celebrate. Even though I was familiar with their struggles in their day-to-day lives, I didn't have to worry about what it really was like. Even when Jamie and I had gone to Lallybroch I didn't see the real life struggle that went on. I was able to stay at the house with Jenny and do the everyday things there.

"Gentlemen, please do not look, but there is a woman over yonder who is staring at you," I said. Of course, both of them looked toward her as she glanced up from the pot she was stirring. It was still funny to hear the two of them fighting with one another over who was going to bed her. I didn't want to hear another one of their quarrels so I helped them out. Once again Angus was the one who drew the correct stick.

"Come along," I said to Rupert after Angus left.

"Where are ye goin' now?" he snapped, frustrated with the idea of having to spend more time with me.

"I've got to choose a horse for the tynchal tomorrow," I replied as I hurried in the direction of the stable. He followed slowly behind me. Colum had told me he wanted me to attend the hunt just in case one of the men got hurt and needed tending to. I didn't mind going along this time, hoping that maybe I could help Geordie more. I knew I might not be able to prevent his death, but maybe I could keep a better look out for him.

"There's no one in need of healing here, mistress," Auld Alec stated when he saw me enter into the stable.

"I'm actually here because I was asked to be part of the tynchal," I said as I watched him look from me to Rupert.

"She needs a horse," Rupert replied coolly as I watched Auld Alec continue to brush the mane of the horse he was with.

"If you don't have time to help me maybe I'll wait for Mr. MacTavish," I said, moving toward a bale of hay to sit down and wait.

"The lad's not here, nor is yer wee one. No, best leave him to his own thoughts today," he snapped, cutting me short with his harsh words.

"I didn't think I was a bother to him. I just thought since he looked after my son, he might be a better person to help me," I said, knowing what he actually meant.

"Weel I dinna ken if yer a bother to him or no. That's for the lad to judge," he retorted, looking toward me before moving away from the horse. "I'm just sayin' it's best for all concerned if young Jamie is left to his self right now," he finished, moving down a few stalls to the horse I knew would be my friend for the tynchal. Auld Alec told me about Brimstone while I rubbed her down. She was a beautiful creature. I thought about how my Uncle Lambert had taught me to ride. It was the best feeling to be riding a horse.

Upon returning to my surgery I found Geillis there waiting for me. I had asked her to bring me some port. I didn't want to run away anymore, but I still wanted to some freedom for the night. I thought I might go and keep Jamie company. I had sent Murtagh away to take some money to Jenny and Ian to help them before we could get to them. I wanted them to have what little help I could give. Murtagh assured me he would say it came from a friend. I knew they would fall on hard times soon, and the little money I was sending would help.

When Geillis asked if I was pregnant I wanted to say yes, but I knew I wasn't. I explained I kept little tidbits of food on hand for patients or for Roger when he came in from the stables. She seemed to take the answer without any question as I told her I would see her later. Her questions unnerved me because I felt like she was trying to find out information. It bothered me that even how close we seemed to have gotten, she was still trying to manipulate me.

Mrs. Fitz and her little army of girls came and helped me get ready once Geillis left. It was amusing when one of the girls tried to pin all my hair up; she was having trouble with some loose wisps that wanted to curl around my face. Once I was deemed worthy, I followed them down to the hall. I followed close by Mrs. Fitz to keep safe. I didn't want any attention drawn to me for any reason.

"Mistress," Murtagh said to me when I stood beside him. I hadn't expected to see him back so soon.

"Did you have any trouble?" I questioned as he spoke softly telling me what was being said down below.

"No, Ian was thankful for it. I turned right around and came back knowing you were up to no good," he muttered, eyeing me. "Do keep yersel' out of way," he cautioned once I saw the first oath completed. I ran into Angus near the exit and passed on the port I mixed together.

"Laoghaire, you startled me," I said as I turned the corner almost running into her.

"I'm sorry, Mistress Beauchamp," she began, but I decided to end her little quest before she could begin.

"It's Claire, and I can't help you right now. I'm in a hurry," I replied kindly as I went to move around her, but she stopped me.

"Claire, I just need a favor," she replied as she tried acting innocent with me, but I knew the vicious person she truly was. The memories of the witch trial I endured the first time were still fresh in my mind.

"Laoghaire, is it a life or death situation?" I still tried to make my way around her.

"Nae, I want a potion," she wheedled, crossing her arms in front of her.

"I can't make potions, I'm not a witch," I retorted, slightly laughing as she jerked her head up at that.

"Of course ye are," she snapped as I was finally able to move around her.

"I don't know what other healers have done here, but I don't do those kinds of things. I help people with injuries or minor issues. I don't cast spells or create potions," I said, walking away from her, leaving her muttering in the dark hallway. I knew she would probably still hold ill thoughts for me, but I wasn't going to give her kindling to throw to the flames.

"What the devil?" Dougal said after I ran into him. I had gone down a different hall to keep away from the drunk clansmen, only to run into him.

"I apologize, I seem to have gotten lost," I said nervously as his hands roughly grabbed my shoulders, once again pushing me into the stone wall. It all happened so fast that I couldn't even think when he began to kiss me and tried to push his tongue into my mouth, all the while keeping me firmly against the wall. I felt as if I was going to blend right into the wall at some point. I reached my hand to the side, feeling for anything, any kind of weapon, as I felt the bulge under his kilt being ground into me. I got my hand on a candlestick and slammed it into his head before running away. I found my way to the stables quickly with little to no incident.

"Jesus H. Roosevelt Christ," I muttered in a low voice, forgetting Jamie would be hidden in the hay. I walked right into him, falling onto the ground in a heap next to him.

"Nae, Sassenach. Jes' me," he joked as he helped me up. He turned toward the stall door he was leaning on and picked up Roger who had awakened as well.

"Roger, sweetie," I said as he looked sleepily at me.

"Momma," he replied as he rubbed his eyes before reaching for me. I leaned back against the stall wall and settled him in my lap.

"Were ye trying to escape?" Jamie finally asked as he picked at the hay that surrounded us.

"No, I actually came here looking for you. I didn't see you at the ceremony and thought you might like some company," I remarked, watching his expression change a little.

"Really?" he questioned as I smiled.

"Yes, really. I know how lonely it can be to have no one to turn to, but I hope you know you can always talk to me," I tenderly replied while he just looked away as if thinking of what to do next.

"Thank ye," was all he said as he started to tell me of some of his adventures while a lad. We were so engrossed in our conversation that I hadn't noticed the men entering the stable nor did he.

"Weel lads, lookit what we have here," one of the men said as a few others entered behind him. I looked at Jamie who moved his hand to his dirk. I wasn't sure what was going to happen next.