* All original twilight characters belong to S. Meyer. Any original characters are my own.
* Rated M for mature content – self harm, suicide attempts, rape, possible smut later on.
"There. Take that Alice." I found myself giggling again and as I re-thought it over and over, the giggling only got worse until I finally just stopped.
"And how did that make you feel Isabella?" I looked around the room as confusion settled in. I was in a small office similar to Dr. Kline's, however there was someone other than Dr. Kline in the room with me. I looked out the small window and was shocked to see the bright sunlight shining down on the lawns of the outdoor recreation area.
"Isabella?" the woman prompted and I turned my attention back to her.
"I'm sorry, I'm a little bit confused. What am I doing in here?" I asked her quietly, tears forming in my eyes at the frustration of not being able to remember.
"Isabella, did you black out again?" the mysterious woman asked me as she clicked a pen open and began scribbling down some notes, I couldn't speak without the risk of crying so I simply nodded my head when she looked up at me.
"What's the last thing that you remember?" she asked and I wracked my brain, trying to find the answer. The familiarity of this scene was frightening as I briefly thought about my catatonic state right after he left. He... Edward... The rest of the Cullens... Alice.
"I remember Alice visiting. I told her to leave me alone." I explained and saw the woman in front of my frown.
"Think about it for a few more minutes Isabella. Do you remember anything else between then and now?" I processed her question and sat back in my chair, my arms still clutched across my chest, the pain throbbing.
"No. I don't remember anything else... it's like I was asleep and I just woke up in this room with you and speaking of you, I have no idea who you are. I don't know you, I don't know this room, I don't even know what day it is!" I flew out of my chair and began pacing the room as I continued to try and remember what had happened after I told Alice to leave me alone.
"It's alright Isabella, take a deep breath. I'm Dr. Lang, it's Monday June 28th," Two weeks. I'd been out of it for two weeks. "After this girl Alice left you were in a type of trance, a state resembling one of a catatonic. You would eat, and answer yes or no questions, you would keep yourself clean and use the washroom but that's all. Do you remember any of this?" she asked again and I shook my head.
"Alright, who is Alice?" I stared at her as I thought about the answer, wondering if she really didn't know or if she was trying to get me to talk.
What do I say to that? That Alice is my vampire ex-best friend. She abandoned me several months ago because she's the sister of my vampire ex-boyfriend. He decided to leave me because Alice's husband thought I'd be a tasty snack and took a snap at me.
"She was my best friend and my ex-boyfriend's sister. Their whole family left town suddenly and without saying good-bye." I tried to keep it as close to the truth as possible.
I only focused half of my attention on the rest of the questions that Dr. Lang asked me, the other half of my brain focused on the bits of the last conversation with Alice that I remembered.
She left Jasper... mates die when separated... Edward still loved me...
Nothing that she said made sense... why would she leave Jasper to come back to me? Why would she risk separation from her family to try and get me to return? Was it true about mates not being able to live apart, was it truth when she said that Edward still loves me?
"Alright Isabella, that's all for today. Jackie is here to escort you back to your room. If you remain responsive and continue to move along like today I'll see about getting you placed back in the open ward." I turned my attention back to the doctor and smiled politely at her as I heard the knock on the door just before a small woman in bright pink scrubs walked in.
I walked through the corridors following Jackie, only slightly surprised with the fact that I had been moved to a more secure unit during my episode.
"Would you like to return to your room Isabella or would you like to go to the games room for a little while?" her voice was high pitched and paired with her fluorescent scrubs gave me a slight headache.
"I'd like to go back to my room please." I spoke quietly and we turned down another corridor with doors that were closed and locked. When we got to my room I walked in and noted the similarity to the room in the other ward with the exception of my personal items and the steel toilet that was in the corner of this room.
"Am I allowed books?" I turned around and the woman was already gone, my door clicking locked as it closed behind her.
Shrugging and making the decision to ask as soon as someone else came into the room I turned to the bed and laid down on my back, wincing in pain as I did so. Sitting up I lifted my shirt slightly, looking over my shoulder at my back and feeling around with my fingers.
Bed sores. My hips, lower back and shoulder blades had bed sores, deep red sores on my joints that looked fresh. Something wasn't right. Even catatonic I shouldn't have bed sores, especially after only two weeks... unless I wasn't moving at all during that time.
I wanted to lay down so I shifted and laid gently down on my side, staring into the room and trying not to put any pressure on my sore spots. Gradually my mind shifted course and drifted away from the sores and back to my visit with Alice.
I thought about her words over and over and as if the puzzle pieces finally clicked I was flooded with a series of memories.
After Alice left and I pretended to shield myself... the insane giggling fit... the decision to leave my mind behind.
Then it was just flashes.
An orderly of some sort in dark gray scrubs, a look on his face that sent chills down my spine.
Being cornered in Dr. Kline's office, his face looming over mine as I closed my eyes.
The same orderly in gray, in my room, a needle being injected into my arm.
"What the hell?" I scrunched my face in concentration, trying to piece this information together. What was going on here?
I spent the remainder of the day in my small room that was beginning to feel more and more like a prison. Feeling uncomfortable with my latest memories I decided check my body over and began to feel nauseous at the number of bruises and other small marks that now littered my body. I continued to try and force my memory open as I shifted positions frequently, from my sides to sitting up, to pacing the room. Nobody came in until a meal tray was brought in and set down on the bedside table by a hospital staff, my door closing and locking again behind him.
I didn't sleep that night as flashes of memories from the last two weeks would hit me suddenly. So far it was mostly the orderly in gray or Dr. Kline... sometimes both of them together.
The sun was beginning to rise when memory in particular had me shivering and I actually threw up at the memory, the tears over it not stopping as I realized what was happening.
I was in an office that was not the one I had met either Dr. Kline or Dr. Lang in, the orderly named Jonathan was standing being me, my hands held behind the chair that I was sitting in as Dr. Kline's hands held a small needle. I was injected with whatever substance he had been drugging me with and I felt myself begin to fade out, losing control of my body, my mind going numb but still there, still watching as though a third party to the event.
Dr. Kline waited for several minutes as the drug began to work, Jonathan not releasing his grip on me until Dr. Kline decided that it was time. Jonathan shifted around, picking me up off the chair and carrying me over to the small leather couch in the corner and laying me down on my back.
I watching in horror as my hospital gown was lifted up to just under my chin and Dr. Kline removed his pants and straddled me, thrusting into me as his hands grabbed me breasts roughly. There was no pain in my body and I tried to close my eyes, to look away but I couldn't move. Once Dr. Kline finished with me the orderly took his place before yanking me roughly up and carrying me back to my room where I was thrown on my bed, Jonathan approaching with a second needle that he quickly injected me with before leaving the room, locking the door behind him.
"Please Alice. Please. I know I pushed you away before but I need help... you were right... I need to get out of this place." I choked out the words and regret filled my heart at the way that I had treated her when she had come to help me.
Remembering the night of her visit I concentrated on my mind, remembering the feel of the thin and stretchy film that I had thought might shield me from her psychic visions. Finally finding it I experimented, pulling it up and back into my mind, lifting it so that it no longer covered any of my body, pushing it into a small corner of my brain to retrieve for future use.
As if shielding or de-shielding myself took all of my energy I was suddenly exhausted and sat down on the floor of my room, huddled into myself and backed up into a corner where I rested my head against the wall and allowed my eyes to close.
"Isabella." the voice wasn't loud but my eyes popped open as I heard it. I knew it. I glanced around the room and saw him coming through the door. My eyes darted around the room, trying to find a way to get away from him as the bile began to rise in my throat.
"Leave me alone." I tried to demand but my voice was hoarse and dry.
"Dr. Kline has an appointment with you Isabella." he continued to approach me and I saw the small needle in his hand and began to shake, the bile still sitting there and ready to be expelled at any moment.
"No." I said a little louder than before but as I expected it did me no good.
"Alice!" I screamed as loud as I could as he reached me and grabbed my arm roughly.
"Alice... Help Me!" I screamed again as he quickly stabbed me with the needle and I began to thrash around, trying to escape his grip before the drugs would begin to numb me. My efforts were futile and after a few minutes the thrashing stopped and he picked me up, carrying me down the hall and towards an elevator.
Dr. Kline's office.
Another injection.
Eyes Closing.
Alice... Please!
The couch.
Gown going up.
Jonathan first.
Dr. Kline second.
Gone... they're both gone.
Stone arms.