Warning: Disgustingly beautiful fluff and angst alert. If you're easily moved by touching 'I love you' scenes between couples, I'd suggest that you grab a handful of tissues, or a box, depending on how much you cry.
This chapter was very hard for me to write on account of the heavy theme prevalent. So I hope Steve and Nat don't seem out of character to you guys. I did my best to keep them as believable as possible.
This isn't the end for our two lovers! I will publish a couple of oneshots connected to this fic, which will deal with the aftermath of the story. After all, we need to see Bucky again, don't we? :D
The title of this story comes from A Walk in The Clouds.
Natasha and Steve admit their feelings for each other.
It took two minutes and some change for Natasha to reach Steve's house. When she got there, she had to stop for breath and grabbed her sides. She'd never run that fast before in her life and her lungs burned at the exertion.
She wiped the sweat from her brow as she leaned up against the door. Mentally, she was a blank. For some reason, all of the things she wanted to say to him just weren't there. Natasha had never been in this position before, so she wasn't sure how to go about it.
Speak from your heart, not your head, she told herself. Tell him what you feel when you look at him and if he turns you away, at least you won't have to be tortured with what ifs.
Steeling herself, Natasha stood up straight, tugged her shirt down and raised her hand to knock on the door. It was at that moment when the door opened and Steve stepped out, bumping into her.
"Oh! What-" He started to speak, but halted when he saw who it was standing before him.
Natasha just looked up at him with a nervous smile and tried her best not to tremble in his presence. What an effect he had on her, even now. "Hi, Steve..."
"Natasha! Wha-are you...I'm so-"
She held up her hand to stop him. "Please, can we talk? I need to explain a few things to you before you continue."
"Uh, yeah. Come on in." He turned back to the door and opened it wide, allowing berth for her to go inside. "It's funny. I was just on my way to see you, actually."
Once she was inside the house, Natasha looked up at Steve with an incredulous look on her face. "You were?"
He smiled sheepishly. "I was, but you go ahead. From the look of you, you must've sprinted the whole way here, so what you've got to tell me is probably more important than what I want to tell you. Sit down." Steve motioned to his brown couch in the living room and they both sat down, facing each other.
Natasha rubbed her arms, wondering if the chill she felt had something to do with the air conditioning in the house or Steve himself. "I...I'm sorry for running out on you like I did on our date. I'm sure that wasn't what you've experienced on dates with other girls. I can't imagine what you were thinking at the time, but I just want to say that you were wonderful that night. I'd never felt so comfortable with another human being in a long time."
"I see, but...why did you leave, Natasha?"
She cleared her throat. It was hard to speak while he looked at her with those warm, caring blue eyes. Natasha's heart pounded wildly in her ears and she closed her eyes for a moment, centering herself.
"The reason I ran out was...because I felt something between us. Something strong, something that I've never felt before in my entire life. I mean, I have had a few dates with a couple of nice guys, but that's all they were. Nice guys. They didn't move me. They didn't make me feel good to be myself. See, I'm a bit on the shy side. I don't drink much, I don't party, I don't crave the nightlife. It takes a lot for me to come out of my shell."
Tears were starting to form in her eyes and she blinked them away, although some slipped down her cheeks. "I told you about my parents...how they died. Well, what I didn't tell you is that I've been hiding myself from people ever since."
Steve took a few tissues from the Kleenex box on the coffee table in front of them and held them out to her.
"Thank you..."
"Hiding yourself?"
"When my parents died, it was like a piece of my heart had been ripped out. Without them, I felt alone and insecure. I've always been mature, so there was no question that I could take care of myself, but that parental care was missing. It's like having a foot cut off. You're in pain for a long time and you eventually learn to cope without it, but you still feel the loss."
"Mom and Dad dying was a blow for me. It scared me because they were the only family I had. Our relatives live in Russia and we never had contact with them, so for all intents and purposes, I was by myself all along. I wasn't in the adoption agency long before the Bartons found me, but even then, I still got scared that something would happen and they would be taken from me too. My fear of the unknown kept me in a protective bubble. I may have been safe, but I wasn't living."
She reached out to Steve and tentatively took his hand. He smiled and squeezed her fingers gently, encouraging her to continue.
"Then I met you. Well, your crazy dog came into my yard and destroyed my tomato garden first. Then you came looking for him and I..thought you were gorgeous." Her cheeks turned red.
Steve's eyebrows rose. "You did?"
"I did, but your good looks weren't the reason I decided to talk to you. I know we had only spoken for ten, fifteen minutes, but we made a connection that I'd never had with another person and I wanted more of it. I know this may sound crazy, but I felt safe around you when you walked into my backyard and..I was smitten with you from the first moment we met, Steve."
Steve smiled the biggest, most adorable smile Natasha had seen and he held her hand, raising it to his heart. She felt how fast and hard the beats were and marvelled that she had caused this reaction
"Natasha, you're serious, aren't you?"
"Yes. I know fell in love with you a little bit that day...and even more on our date. That's why I ran. I've taught myself not to care too much about other people or else I might lose them like I lost my parents. And yet, after that night we had, I found myself wanting to care about you."
Tears spilled down her cheeks and she looked down. She hadn't planned on getting so emotional, but it was unavoidable. Natasha tried to continue, but her sobs kept cutting off her words.
Steve kissed her forehead and drew her to him, holding her gently. Natasha clung to him like he was her lifeline - and in a way, he was. He felt her tears dampen his shirt, but he refused to move from the spot. Not until she initiated movement.
It felt like an hour before Natasha finally pulled back and gave Steve a shaky smile. Suddenly, she was overcome with a wave of shyness. "Sorry about your shirt..."
Steve just waved his hand. "I can put it in the dryer. Right now, you're more important than clothing."
"So where do we go from here?" She looked at him with an inquisitive expression.
The blonde circled her elbows with his thumbs. "Well...I think it's safe to say that, since I feel the same way about you, we definitely need to have a second date."
Natasha's breathing became shallow and she felt like her heart might explode out of her chest. Trembling, she looked into Steve's eyes and began to tear up again. "You feel the same way for me?"
Rich, beautiful laughter spilled from Steve's lips and he leaned down, pressing his forehead to hers. "Yes. From the moment we met, I've been smitten with you too. If you're crazy for loving me, then I'm just as crazy for loving you." He cupped her chin in his hand.
"I've never had a better time with any other woman than when I did with you. I've only had a relationship with one woman, Sharon, but she was just a waste of my time. Nobody really touched me until you on our date, Natasha. And when you kissed me...I can't explain it, but I knew that I couldn't let you get away. Not without a fight. Because that kiss we shared, it moved me deeper than I thought was possible. You can't imagine how much I wanted you then."
He kissed her brow lovingly and continued. "In a way, it's a good thing you left when you did, otherwise, I would have picked you up, carried you to my bed and made love to you."
Natasha gasped and gazed at him, eyes wide open. This was truly too good to be true. "You wanted to make love to me?"
"Yes. I still do, but that can wait." Steve rested his hand on Natasha bosom, but it was not in a sexual way, rather, in a comforting way. Their eyes were fixed upon each other and they did not blink. "I want to prove that I'm worthy of your heart before I make you mine." His sweet whisper made her feel tingles all over.
"Steve, I'm so-I don't...know what to say."
"You don't have to say a thing, Nat. Just stay with me right here. We can plan our next date, go shopping together, whatever you want. I just need to have you in my arms right now."
Natasha blushed with joy that he'd called her a nickname. She buried her head in his shoulder and breathed in his scent. His touch, his smell, his voice, these were all memories she'd keep locked in her heart, so no matter how much time passed, this would always be the picture in her mind whenever she thought of him.
-faints from the fluff-
