A/N: Last one for now. It's kind of repetitive, but really, how many things rhyme with Jaffa? To the tune of 'Song of the Cebu.'

Walter: Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls! Doctor Daniel Jackson presents, in a sequential image, stereophonic, multimedia event, The Song of the Jaffa!

Daniel [clicking through slides]: Jaffa!
This is a song about a system lord ...
A song about a system lord and her Jaffa...
A song about the system lord Hathor and her three Jaffa...
The system lord who had a sick Jaffa, a sad Jaffa and a mute Jaffa.
And also Apophis.
Um ... um ... this is me at the Stargate.
This is Sam's dad and Martouf.
This is Teal'c claiming joma secu.
This is Teal'c fighting Apophis' First Prime.

Audience: Ohh!

Daniel: This is Teal'c and the First Prime.

Audience: Ahh!

Daniel: This is Teal'c and the First Prime and ... I think that's the First Prime's cousin. He's a Jaffa.

Hammond: Hold it! You call this a multimedia event? This is a slide projector and a bed sheet! And what the heck is a Jaffa, anyway?

Daniel: It's kind of like a human. See?

Hammond: Yes. Well, very good. This could be interesting. Carry on!

Daniel: Jaffa!
Sing it with me!
Jaffa!

Audience: Jaffa!

Daniel: Hathor's gating with Jaffa.

Audience: Hathor's gating with Jaffa.

Daniel: Back to planets owned by Ra.

Audience: Back to planets owned by Ra.

Daniel: Sick Jaffa is marching and sneezing. Achoo moo moo, achoo moo moo, achoo moo moo, achoo moo moo moo moo!

Audience: Achoo moo moo, achoo moo moo, achoo moo moo, achoo moo moo, achoo moo moo, achoo moo moo moo moo!

Jack: Why are the Jaffa mooing?

Daniel: Well, they are Hathor's Jaffa.

Jack: And?

Sam: Sir, Hathor is the cow goddess.

Jack: Ah.

Daniel: Apophis coming from afar.

Audience: Apophis coming from afar.

Daniel: To kill Hathor and Jaffa.

Audience: To kill Hathor and Jaffa.

Daniel: Sad Jaffa is marching and crying. Boo-hoo moo moo, boo-hoo moo moo, boo-hoo moo moo, boo-hoomoo moo moo moo!

Audience: Boo-hoo moo moo, boo-hoo moo moo, boo-hoo moo moo, boo-hoo moo moo, boo-hoo moo moo, boo-hoo moo moo moo moo!

Daniel: Jaffa!

Audience: Jaffa!

Daniel: Jaffa!

Audience: Jaffa!

All: Achoo moo moo, boo-hoo moo moo, boo-hoo moo moo, achoo moo moo, achoo moo moo, boo-hoo moo moo moo moo!

Daniel: Apophis seen by mute Jaffa.

Audience: Apophis seen by mute Jaffa.

Daniel: Tries to tell the mate of Ra.

Audience: Tries to tell the mate of Ra.

Daniel: Mute Jaffa is waving and grunting. Mmm-hmm mmm mmm, mmm-hmm mmm mmm, mmm-hmm mmm mmm, mmm-hmm mmm mmm mmm mmm!

Audience: Mmm-hmm mmm mmm, mmm-hmm mmm mmm, mmm-hmm mmm mmm, mmm-hmm mmm mmm mmm mmm!

*slide projector starts malfunctioning*

Daniel: Uh-oh.

Hammond: Wait! What happens next?

Daniel: Um...

Hammond: Does Apophis catch them? Is the poor mute Jaffa successful in communicating the imminent danger to his fellows? Is Hathor injured? Why is the sad Jaffa sad? Which world are they gating to?

Daniel [clicking through slides]: Oh look! There's me and Jack on Abydos! Oh, wow. Forgot about that one. There's Teal'c and that First Prime again.

Hammond: You can't just start a song and leave it hanging like that! You know, I've come to expect a lot more from you. This is quite disappointing! I'm going to have to speak to Colonel O'Neill about this.

Daniel: Oh look, a Jaffa! Jaffa!

Audience: Jaffa!

Daniel: No, wait ... that's a Tok'ra.

Audience: No more song about Jaffa!
Getting up off the sofa!
Audience is waving and leaving,
Bye-bye moo, bye-bye moo, bye-bye moo, bye-bye moo moo moo moo!

Jack: I want my money back!

Sam: Yeah, that'd be ... that'd be good