One morning I woke up and was plunged into psychological shock. I had forgotten I was free. -Jack Henry Abbott
No man is good enough to be another's master. -William Morris
The Light Fae guard ushered her through the Dal. The front door still read: CLOSED DUE TO ILLNESS and QUARANTINE and the bar was empty, though Lauren was pleased to see most of the cots set up from days ago were folded up and leaning against the walls. Slowly, it was coming back together. The bodyguard opened the door to the stairs that led into Trick's lair and gestured her through.
"Hello?" Lauren looked around the living area and spotted empty cups, open books, and piles of tissues.
"Here, Lauren," Trick's voice sounded from reading area next to the living room. He sounded healthy, but when Lauren spotted him, he was wrapped in a blanket and huddled in a large chair, another open book on his lap.
"Trick, are you okay?" Lauren set her bag down and started rummaging through it. "Didn't the cure work? You should have called me."
"Lauren," Trick interrupted her. She stopped and looked at him. "I'm fine," he said. "I guess I don't rebound as quickly as I did in my hundreds." He closed the book on his lap and gestured to the chair next to him. "Please sit." Lauren dropped her stethoscope into the bag and took a seat. "How's Bo?"
"She's good," Lauren replied. "Cure took well, once she was able to feed, she was back to normal."
"Good." Trick smiled and then took an uneasy breath. "Lauren, I asked you over here to… hopefully get us back on the right foot."
Lauren looked at him, temped to raise an eyebrow. "To be honest, Trick, I don't think I've ever been on the right foot with the Fae."
Trick nodded. "But we've been friends."
"I used to like you before you started trying to kill me," Lauren stated. "So yes, I guess we were."
She watched Trick wriggle through swallowing his pride. She knew this was an ass-kissing meeting. The Fae couldn't live without her now and Trick had to backpedal like no Ash before to keep her from officially jumping ship to the Dark. Lauren was a hot commodity and she knew it.
"I'm sorry, Lauren," Trick said. "For doubting you and your loyalty. For doubting your love for my granddaughter and for the Fae at large. We owe you a unimaginable debt. Again."
The confession took her by surprise. "I was only doing what was right."
"And that's why I racked my brain for an appropriate thank you." Trick leaned over the side of his chair and looked through a leather bag full of scrolls.
"Trick, no, you don't have to do that," Lauren tried to stop him. "I didn't do it for anything in return."
Trick smiled at her. "That's why she loves you," he said. Lauren sat on the edge of the chair, taken aback by his comment and watched him produce a scroll from the bag finally. He looked at it carefully, almost forlornly, before extending it out to her. "I believe this belongs to you."
Lauren took the scroll and held Trick's eyes, frowning while she untied the string of leather around it. When she unrolled the thick paper, her heart dropped. There in the bottom right corner was her signature. In the bottom left, Lachlan's. It was the contract that recommitted her to the Light Fae for the rest of her human life, all the words she stared at before signing, she even remembered the weight of the fountain pen in her hand and the snide grin on Lachlan's face. Now she understood that smile, two years later. The lump in her throat was incredible.
"Trick," she started, but couldn't finish.
"It's okay," he said quietly. "The Light hate to lose you, but…" He paused. "I hope this doesn't mean we won't ever see you again."
Lauren smiled, the tears welling in her eyes. She shook her head. "It doesn't." A laugh escaped her and she shrugged. "I'm dating your granddaughter."
Trick nodded with a smile. "I'm glad to hear it," he said. "We're reopening tomorrow, you should come down and celebrate with us."
Lauren sniffed and got to her feet. "I, uh…" She paused. "I don't know, but…" She nodded finally. "I'll think about it."
She sat in the Camaro in front of the clubhouse turning the scroll over and over in her hands. She wasn't ready to share it, not even with Bo. She shoved the scroll into her medical bag and marched into the clubhouse. Bo and Kenzi were in the middle of a mani-pedi afternoon when she breezed in.
"Everything okay?" Bo called over the back of the couch.
"Yeah, it's good." She smiled.
"Get in here," Bo gestured Lauren to join their circle of nail polish.
Lauren cocked her head. "I have a headache, actually. I'm just going to go upstairs and lie down."
"Oh, okay," Bo said trying to hide her disappointment as Lauren walked toward the stairs. "We'll get you later."
"Sure," she smiled again and disappeared upstairs.
She sat on the bed, staring into her medical bag, as if she was afraid to touch it again. That, somehow, it was not real. Still, she took a deep breath and reached into the bag, extracting the scroll. She unrolled it and ran her fingers over the words, a smile spreading across her face. She pressed the scroll against her chest and rocked back on the bed. Her face actually hurt from the smile that had overtaken it. She felt an elation like she had never felt before and then the terror crept in. She was free.
Lauren swallowed, sucking in a breath, she exhaled unsteadily. The pressure was building. She pulled the scroll away from her chest and scrutinized it again. It started with her hands, the scroll beginning to shake, and traveled up her arms to her body until she was trembling all over. She gasped for air as her eyes filled with tears. Every terrible thing the Light had done to her came to the forefront. She tore at the scroll, it's thick paper making her struggle. Her frustration escalated as she tore the scroll into bits and dropped it on the floor next to the bed. Her chest heaved, her mind spun and as Lauren began to sob, holding her sides as her body shook with the grief of five years lost.
She heard someone on the stairs and quickly wiped the tears from her cheeks. She tried to catch her breath. The steps were coming closer and she reached for the bits of shredded scroll but it was too late. Bo stood in the doorway. "Hey-" She moved to kneel beside Lauren. "Are you okay?" Bo's hand caressed her knee.
"Yeah," Lauren nodded. "I'm fine."
"What's with the confetti?" Bo picked up a handful of what was left of the scroll. Her brow furrowed as she read the pieces and tried to decipher their message. "Lauren, what is this?"
"I'm free, Bo." Her eyes welled with tears.
Bo's mouth hung open, processing. "You're free?" She repeated.
"I'm free," she laughed, reaching for Bo.
Bo wrapped her arms around Lauren and squeezed her tightly against her. She pulled away. "How?"
She swallowed and shook her head, still smiling. "Trick."
"No shit," Bo laughed in disbelief.
Lauren's body shook with laughter, hysterics threatening to take hold. Bo grabbed her again, caught up in the Lauren's moment and laughed with her. When they had made themselves breathless, Bo grew serious, watching Lauren as she caught her breath. The spark in her eyes gave Lauren pause and soon Bo's mouth was crushing her own. "Bo," she said, joyful, pulling Bo's top over her head as she pushed her back onto the bed. Quickly, she stripped her own shirt before peeling away Bo's pants. She kicked off her shoes and shed her jeans, crawling onto the bed; over Bo, she pressed her body against Bo's. Lauren's hunger grew and she kissed her, their lips meeting tenderly, eagerly. Bo's mouth moved to her throat. Lauren threw her head back, enjoying the explorations of Bo's tongue against her neck. "Bo," she said again.
"Hmm?" She hummed against Lauren's neck.
"I can't believe this…" Lauren sighed, her hand in Bo's hair, cupping the back of her head.
"Believe it." Bo kissed her navel and tore at her panties.
Lauren laughed again, this time her voice low and sultry. Bo's mouth nipped at her: her breast, her ribs, down her side, across her thigh, culminating between her legs. The gasp that escaped her silenced any further laughter.
Her eyes drifted shut, head spinning. When Lauren could open her eyes again she watched as Bo's head moved between her legs, her hands creeping up her sides. "Jesus," she gasped as Bo's tongue delved deeper. Her head fell back, her body on fire, but afraid to move, afraid of losing the moment. It was hard to keep her eyes open, but when she could, she was treated to a vision of love and sex. The pressure of Bo's fingers on her thighs as she held her close, the errant hair Lauren tucked behind her ear, the feeling of Bo's own voice, her moan vibrating through her while she moved.
Biting her lip and leaning into Bo's mouth, Lauren moaned again. A sweep of her tongue and her hips came alive. Bo was relentless, swirling in her depths. She hiked her leg over Bo's shoulder and smoothed it down her back. Her other foot sliding down to her waist. Rocking against the bed, Bo's hips undulated of their own accord and her mouth was unrelenting, stroking Lauren to her very core.
A sweep of her tongue brought her hips off the bed, Bo's mouth pressing harder against her. The sweet suction of her lips coaxed a surprised moan from her. Her hands found Bo's hair as her hips found their rhythm and Lauren quickly found release, tears pricking her eyes.
She expected to feel different. Emancipated. Instead she felt alive with sex and love and life. If everything was different, it still felt the same. She was with Bo, absurdly in love and her body still shook with the effort of orgasm. Bo hovered above her, breathing heavily, her eyes lit with desire. It was Bo. It was always Bo. She was the one who gave Lauren her dignity back, after she had been beaten down and made to feel less than Fae. With Bo, freedom had been there all along.
Hours passed. With each ending came a new beginning. The sheets were twisted and torn from the corners of the bed and blankets were kicked away as they rolled around. When they finally tired long into the night, she flopped onto her back and sighed.
Bo chewed her lip like she did when she had something on her mind. She spoke unexpectedly. "Do you remember when you told me you were a liar?"
Lauren's hand stilled on Bo's thigh. "I do."
"Are you ever gonna tell me what you meant by that?"
She nodded. "I was twenty with an overstated sense of grandeur. My brother had an overdeveloped sense of outrage." Lauren chuckled and then grew serious. "Together, he thought we would change the world. Long story short, he asked me to make the explosives that would ultimately kill eleven people."
"What did you do?"
"I kissed my parents goodbye and went into hiding."
"And you're still running…" Bo said sadly.
She shook her head. "I don't want to run anymore."
Bo brushed a strand of blonde hair from her forehead as she spoke. "Stay with me, then."
"I killed eleven people, Bo."
"And how many people have I killed?"
Lauren sighed. "It's not the same, Bo. You have to."
"No," Bo told her, propping herself up on her elbow. "I can't remember how many people I fed off without reason before I knew I was Fae, Lauren. I really was a monster."
"Bo," Lauren was quick to shake her head, a reaction well practiced when this topic arose. She pushed herself up on her elbow as well. "You're-"
"Not a monster?" Bo smiled and squeezed her arm affectionately. "Neither are you."
Lauren looked down at Bo's hand on her arm. "Tell that to the families of the people I killed."
"And how many people have you saved since?" Bo prodded. "How many people did you save this week?"
"It's not a spectrum."
"It doesn't change a thing," Bo said, shaking her head. "Lauren, you have to forgive yourself." Lauren's expression grew sad and Bo could almost see her reliving the phone call from her brother-the last time she talked to him-before he disappeared. "You can't keep carrying this shit around with you. It's weighing you down."
Lauren closed her eyes. "I know."
"So let it go," Bo urged. "They'll understand."
She nodded and took a deep breath. Tonight she would invite her guilt out one last time, holding it against her breast as she said goodbye to the memories that haunted her. Except most of Lauren's memories were fiction now, having been twisted so far from their truths by her imagination that they were false. That didn't stop Lauren from excising them from the fabric of her time. Saying goodbye to the hangers on, she would start to take back her life. Then and there, Lauren promised herself she would let go, little by little until she was renewed and had finally forgiven herself.
If it wasn't the thumping steps up the stairs that roused them both from sleep, it was the falsetto "Good morning!" from Kenzi as she strode into the bedroom. Her heels made a solid clack on the tile floor of the bathroom and then a muffled thud on the new hardwood.
"God Kenzi," Bo groaned, covering her eyes with her arm.
"What time is it?" Lauren asked as she sat up, pulling the top sheet around her body.
"Too early for clothes, apparently." Kenzi rolled her eyes. "But that's not why I'm here."
"That's a relief," Bo quipped, holding a blanket against her breasts as she sat up next to Lauren. "So what are you doing?"
Kenzi presented the tray of food she'd been holding. "I know it's been a few days, but you've been so busy." She put the tray at the foot of the bed. "Breakfast in bed for the hero of the Fae. Again."
Bo smiled. "Aw, you shouldn't have."
Kenzi blinked. "No, not you. Lauren." She gestured at the doctor and Lauren puffed up, a grin on her face. "You just got sick and scared your best friend half to death."
"Aw come on, I would have helped."
"Thanks, Kenzi," Lauren said.
Kenzi smiled and shrugged. "Thanks for keeping her alive for me and everything."
"I couldn't have done it without you."
Bo looked between the two women in the few moments of silence. "So what does the succubus have to do for waffles?"
Lauren smirked at her. "I don't know, I could be convinced to share."
"Could you?" Bo grinned and Kenzi rolled her eyes.
"If the right offer was presented, yeah." Lauren saw the flash of blue in Bo's eyes, but it was so quick, she almost missed it. She reached over and dipped a finger into the whipped cream on top of the waffles, holding it out. Bo smiled wickedly as she leaned across, taking Lauren's finger into her mouth.
"Mmm," Bo moaned.
"Guys," Kenzi interrupted.
Bo smiled, bringing a free hand to Lauren's jaw, her fingers threading into her hair. She couldn't stop looking at her mouth. "Let's see what you think of this." Bo leaned in and Lauren found herself drawn to do the same, her hand clutching the sheet at her chest.
"Hello?" Kenzi waved her hands as Bo pulled Lauren into a kiss. Her hands dropped to her side in defeat. "You guys are impossible." It was a touching kiss, one that was gentle and easy. Kenzi almost found herself smiling at the sight, pleased that at least someone had a happy ending, when a low moan signaled a shift in intensity. Bo lifted her other hand to Lauren's neck and the blanket concealing her fell to her lap.
"Oh for the love of…" Kenzi covered her eyes and turned quickly, pausing briefly after realizing moving breakfast might be a good idea. With her eyes closed against the increasing heat in the room, Kenzi felt around for the tray she left on the bed. "Okay, I, uh…" She spun around until she spotted an empty surface. "I'm just gonna leave this here, for… after." Kenzi made sure it was safe and caught herself turning back to the bed before covering her eyes again at the shifting sheets. "You guys…" She waved awkwardly over her shoulder. "Have… fun," she said, escaping down the stairs.