A/N: Special thanks to the reviewers. Even if you don't review, all readers are appreciated.

What'chu talkin bout Willis?

That's not funny Matt the man just died, and Rachel has the hots for you.

No way, she's in love with Finn, tall goofy white boys are her thing. And judging by her relationship with Jesse, closeted gays may also be her thing but definitely not me.

Is all this protest because you like her back?

No, the protest is because your accusations are false…where are you going?

To get evidence.

He didn't know what she meant by "evidence" but she was already up the stairs. Maybe Rachel does like him, that doesn't mean anything though because he only has eyes for Brittany, right? Still, his mother is very intuitive, and what reason would she have to lie? Matt searched his brain for a reason as to why Rachel Berry would like him. The only story that came to mind was when they were six. A big kid pushed her down on the playground and called her a freak. Matt knew the scene he was watching was wrong but he didn't want to do anything that would alienate him from his peers. He searched the faces of the other kids first to see if they felt the same way he did. The ones who were paying attention were laughing their heads off. He looked around to see if his real friends were close by; this kid was way too big to fight alone. Puck and Mike were in time out for a prank they played earlier and Finn was having a staring contest with the sun at the moment so the only kid brave enough to stand up to the larger boy was Matt. And his dad just showed him Rocky III on video the night before so he was ready for a fight anyway. The fight ended more like the beginning fight of Rocky IV than Rocky III (meaning that Matt got his ass kicked by a Russian tank posing as a six year old). The teacher pulled the big kid off of him and Rachel wouldn't leave his side for the rest of the day. Wherever he went, she went. The other boys usually would have started picking on him at that point, but he stood up to the big kid so he was pretty much untouchable for that day at least. He didn't particularly like her (six year old boys hated girls, it was basically their only code of conduct) but he had been to her house a few times because their parents were friends so it wasn't like they were strangers.

Ha, evidence!

What is it?

An adorable picture from your Aunt Mary's wedding.

Matt looked at the old photo. A 5 year old version of himself was staring back at him with 5 year old Rachel by his side. She was the flower girl and he was the ring bearer.

This only proves your ability to put me in a suite when I was 5.

You don't remember that day do you?

Vaguely, I remember that was the day when I found out how much I hate coconut cake.

You and Rachel were inseparable that day. You ate together, danced together; you even sang a duet with her at the reception.

Oh God now I remember, you made me practice that song with her every day for a week. I was so sick of that song and the little dance we had to do. Oh the humiliation, I think I'm going to be sick.

Matt wrapped his arms around himself in fake agony while his mother was wondering if she had a videotape of that performance somewhere in the house.

She kept announcing to the other guests that you two were going to get married someday.

Yeah… she did.

Old habits die hard I guess.

But that was so long ago, we're different people now, and I have a girlfriend.

I know, and I like Brittany, I think she's a wonderful girl.

Then why the Rachel stuff?

Because part of me thought maybe you two would get married one day. I'm not saying I set a date or anything but one day you'll understand that when you have kids your mind starts to wonder about who they'll become when they get older. And when I thought about your wedding day, I usually saw you with Rachel. But you're right, you were just babies pretending back then, you might not have anything in common now that you two are teenagers.

Matt was so confused. He really liked Brittany, hell he had a dream odyssey about her, but he couldn't stop thinking about what it would be like if he and Rachel were more than just friends. No, he liked Brittany and she liked him, this Rachel stuff was just a phase that needed to pass. Hell, they were watching Star Wars on his couch together (Attack of the Clones because its Brittany's favorite and Brittany loves Jar Jar Binks) and he doubts Rachel would ever watch a movie without singing.

((Maybe she would like Star Wars if you watched it with her.))

Great, Matt was getting into another argument with himself. His subconscious was taking its usual form as his mother's voice.

(Look Brain, I know mom has the ability to twist us around with her words, but we like Brittany.)

((Brittany is good enough, but is good enough really what we want?))

(Yes Brain, remember the long ass dream with the Family Guy references, I'm pretty sure that she is the one for us.)

((You think that now because you see her as the only option you have. You don't want to be alone so you hook up with the easy dumb girl.))

(Don't call her that.)

((You just did.))

(Leave me alone.)

((I have no animosity towards Brittany, but let's be real, she's a human puppy. She craves your attention and affection and follows you around waiting for a treat.))

(So I should dump her because she is a caring person? That makes no sense; she is always there for me and believes in me.)

((But she never challenges you; she never pushes you to be better. Rachel will scratch kick and claw you into becoming a better man and you know it. Brittany may have a suggestion every now and then like calling the admissions offices, but she caves too easily. She lets you walk all over her. You're a good guy and you try to respect her, but the girl has no opinions of her own. Your wish is her command, and having a girlfriend like that at your age is really awesome, but you will soon get tired of her. Why not end it now before things get too serious?))

Matt's subconscious was kind of a pervert. An ignorant pervert who needed to shut the hell up. That was his father's genes talking, the self destructive genes that snatch defeat from the jaws of victory. The genes that would try to convince him to leave a good woman for a girl who is already in a relationship with someone else.

Meanwhile, in Rachel's Brain…

(This is crazy, I love Finn.)

((Finn is ok for a high school boyfriend, but how long do you think you can stay attracted to his boyish charm, don't you want a real leading man?))

(But his boyish charm is what made me fall for him in the first place. He is so gullable and sweet, just like the hero in a princess movie.)

((But life isn't a princess movie.))

(Take that back right now.)

((Look, the reason you obsess over musicals is because they are a fantasy land you can escape to when the real world gets too hard. But you are going to have to live in the real world eventually. Even if you do 8 shows a week on Broadway for the rest of your days, your life will not be perfect, and you will need someone who will understand that and communicate with you, not just wait for you to stop talking.))

(Finn will mature when the time comes.)

((He may get older, but I'm not so sure about the maturity part. He may try to converse with you, but you can tell that his mind wonders after the first three minutes.))

(Who should I be with then?)

((Think about it, who is the one guy that you know other than Mr. Schuster who doesn't think farts or burps are funny?))

(Matt.)