Alice

It's going to be a long ride and he's wide awake. He fell asleep back at the bus depot while we waited. If I had thought about it I might have woken him, but I probably wouldn't have had the heart.

Traveling across the country isn't easy for anyone.

I try to stay awake not to keep him company as we sit in the back of a nearly empty bus. We're heading to Pittsburgh to pick up more passengers and then on to Chicago. We watch the neon signs float passed the window in the dark. He doesn't say anything . Usually that would be okay with me but tonight it's too quiet and I'm too excited.

I just have to talk about something.

I lean over my armrest and whisper to Jasper "Did I ever tell you how I came to Philadelphia?"

I sit leaning over so that we we are shoulder to shoulder. He looks like he's thinking about my question and then he decides.

"Not all of it." He whispers his very diplomatic answer and looks at me rather expectingly. I smile mischievously.

"Well, it is a bit of a long story, I guess. I told you I didn't know my parents, I know I told you that part. Well I never did, I can't remember them or any of my family at all.

Is that odd?

I guess it's not I mean there must be hundreds of other people who don't know their birth parents. Any way what I do remember is being raised in a home for girls down south in Biloxi. I grew up there with a head mistress and a lots of different girls.

The girls use to make me so mad.

Lots of those girls used to 'boo hoo' and feel sorry for themselves. There were lots of real wish washy ones, that's what got on my nerves the most.

They could never make up their minds.

Me, if I want to do something I do it. You've seen that. I don't hem and haw about 'can I do it' or 'should I do it' . I do it and deal with the consequences later. It's a lot better to ask for forgiveness then to ask for permission, you know.

That attitude got me into a lot of trouble over the years." I feel Jasper flinch beside me. "It usually wasn't serious a ripped pair of jeans from climbing a tree, a stain on the kitchen matte because I decided I was going to pour myself some grape juice. I always got scolded, but never badly.

There were often new girls that came to the home. One of the girls who came had the prettiest hair and this really cute hair cut. I decided that I wanted my hair cut like her's. So one night I took scissors and I cut it. I was trimming up the sides when I accidently nicked my ear. It was my first time cutting my own hair. I must have screamed because the head mistress came and found me in the bathroom covered in hair trimmings and blood. I think that was the final straw for her. She decided she couldn't handle me and she had me moved to the state hospital.

It was lonely and I don't think I deserved to be there.

I don't remember much about it, mostly because they medicated me a lot to keep me quiet.

That stuff is terrible. It made my skin crawl. The only good part about being there was that thats where I saw Dr. Cullen.

He came and made a speech to the doctors at the hospital. By that time I'd made friends with the nurses and orderlies so I could pretty much go where I wanted. I sat in on this seminar.

Dr. Cullen spoke about empowering patients to heal themselves and healing through positive thinking. It really spoke to me, you know. I heard, that if I wanted to change my predicament I would have to take it into my own hands.

So I did, and that's how I came to Philadelphia."

"I'm glad you did." Jasper almost smiled as he closed his eyes tight.

Jasper

Traveling across country isn't easy for anyone. I am uncomfortable and cramped, there is no leg room, I'm hungry, and this bus smells funny. There are still about thirty hours to go to Seattle.

The view out the window has changed from skyscrapers and neon to flat stretches of cornfields. They remind me of Texas, the little farms that dot the country side. Not that I saw much of farms when I was in Texas, but still. They also reminded me in a weird way of the rice fields in Vietnam. The though of it all makes me shudder.

I look to Alice, I don't know what I'd do if she wasn't here. If it was me and the people on this bus, I don't know if I would be able to keep it together.

There is a baby in the front of the bus that cries every few hours, its young mother does her best to comfort it when it does. But the poor thing doesn't like being on the bus. I understand its discomfort, neither do I.

The mother's frustration at not being able to calm the child makes me feel frustrated for her and for all the people on the bus who were trying to sleep.

Despite the noise Alice is sleeping. She tried hard to stay up and keep me company but after a two days on the road she was now fast asleep, passed out with her head on my shoulder.

She breaths lightly and mutters every once in a while. Unlike the big fella a few rows up who is snoring like a buzz saw.

I grasp her hand and inhale sharply.

I want to stretch, but there is no room. I want to stand, but it's not allowed. I want to get off this bus and run, but the pain would be unbearable. All of it makes me want to scream.

I try to adjust in the seat, hoping that maybe if I move just a bit I'll be more comfortable. The opposite is the result, and I gasp.

I twist my head in discomfort and see in the darkness that the traveling sales man seated across the aisle from us is looking at me and I am startled, probably just like he is at being caught in the act of snooping. I sit back and try to not feel uncomfortable at knowing I'm being watched.

Be watched like a ticking time bomb, being watched like a freak show curiosity, being watched like a usual suspect.

I want off this bus.

I try again to sleep.

TBC...

I just moved 12 hours from home for grad school and after a week finally got internet. Hope I have time to write once Classes start. Thank you for reading.