A/N: You know how Johnny sometimes goes into a little psychological rant right before murdering someone? Imagine two Johnnys, one his normal self, the other with a different pyschological perspective on life. And then a deep debate about life ensues. Can you tell I'm taking psychology class currently? XD It might be a bit confusing, sorry.

Disclaimer: I spend all of my money on Cherry Brainfreezies (which is what I specifically order at theatres now, and they still know what I mean, but give me a weird look when I say it). I can't AFFORD to own either Invader Zim or JTHM. If I did bribe Jhonen Vasqez with lots of money, I wouldn't force him to write new JTHM books, but I would make him and a team of animators at least animate the unfinished episodes, the script for The Trial, and do the big Invader Zim TV movie.

Um...enough daydreaming. Here's the chapter.

"...what?" J mumbled, opening his bleary eyes. "Where...where am I?"

"Just another room in the world," a voice answered. J blinked. The voice itself wasn't familiar, but the speech patterns and tone of voice was. His suspicions were confirmed when a knife flew by his head, embedding itself in the wall. "Shit, Dib has bad aim."

"Johnny, I know you may be a little...irritated with me for trying to hunt you down, kill you, and take your place," J commented. A kid with scythe hair and insomnia-lined eyes strolled up to him, laughing harshly.

"Understatement of the century," Johnny grimly chuckled, the utter loathing and maturity sounding strange matched with such a young-looking boy. "You tried to steal from me the one thing I have left in this god-forsaken world. My identity. And now, only now when you know you've lost, you apologize? I would think that someone with my DNA would put up more of a fight."

"Maybe I would have, in a one-on-one battle and knew who you were," J calmly replied. "But I am not as easy to provoke into a fight. You know why? I don't have voices in my head. I don't have any behavioral disorders. Johnny, I'm just trying to provide you the escape you always craved, an escape from your everyday torture that's self-inflicted."

"YOU JUST SHUT UP!" Johnny snarled, glaring venomously at the clone. "You arrogant, sickeningly sensitive BASTARD! I'll die when I choose to, not when YOU or anybody else chooses! People like you will NEVER understand what I've had to live through on a daily basis!"

"Touchy, touchy," J responded. "For once, Johnny, you've captured someone who HAS been through everything you have. I have your memories, keep in mind. So you can't play that card of 'You don't understand', like you do so often. But it's how you decide to react to things that determines the mood you're feeling. I've decided to be patient, calm, and sane. I'm happy, Johnny. If you kill me, you'll just be proving my hypothesis that you hate anything that represents a chance with sanity."

"Such a humanist approach," Johnny scoffed. "You believe that humans are, generally, good overall. That no one is inherently evil, and if evil actions were to consistently occur, that there's always an outside reason. Idiot."

"And you think more on both a behavioral approach," J noticed. "You think people are products of learning, controlled by experiences, responses, consequences, and rewards. Maybe you have even a hint of a psychoanalytic outlook, with unconscious conflicts stemming from childhood that causes you to have an agressive drive. Even if we don't remember our childhood, things must have happened, right? An unknown childhood, such an easy target to blame for your behavior. 'Don't blame me, blame my upbringing'. Just take my offer of escape, Johnny. I'll make sure you feel no pain."

"Enough talk!" Johnny shouted, stepping close with a knife glinting in each hand. "It's time to take action."

"Go ahead," J invited. "I promise to say hi to Edgar for you when I get to heaven."

Johnny flinched a bit at the name, stopping in his tracks. J noticed this and shook his head sympathetically.

"Yes, he is the one you actually regret murdering," J sighed. "Poor Edgar. He really didn't deserve it, seeing as he was a decent human being who hadn't provoked you in any way whatsoever. But the wall just had to be fed, didn't it, so the thing wouldn't escape?"

"SHUT YOUR DAMN MOUTH!" the homicidal maniac shrieked angrily. He raised his knives in the air and stepped close to J. "If you AT ALL value your life, I suggest you stop TALKING. I know every one of your less obvious weak points, since they are technically my own."

"Do what you have to do. I'll pray for your soul," J promised, further provoking his captor. Right as J was about to meet his end, though, a voice started speaking from the ceiling.

"Johnny, Zim just found out where your body might be," a bored voice announced. "If you're about done acting out of character, I suggest that you leave J here and go see what the 'Invader' found out."

"This is the WORST possible timing, Computer!" Johnny protested as J sighed in relief. The maniac in Dib's body scowled and plunged a butcher knife deeply into the clone's leg, being rewarded with a screech of pain. Johnny nodded, satisfied, before heading up the stairs.

J panted, grimacing in pain. A robotic arm descended down from the ceiling and sprayed his wound, ceasing the bleeding.

"Johnny wouldn't want you to die from bleeding to death. It wouldn't give him any satisfaction," Computer explained. "This won't ease the pain, just so you know. You'll still feel like you're going to die, but you won't yet. Before Johnny gets his body back, though, I suggest you convince Gir to let you escape. Otherwise you'll undergo a tortre unknown to any human being, even unknown to his past victims."

"There's something I don't understand," J said. "Johnny and I are of the same DNA, and yet our minds are so different. If we're the same person, with the same memories, why is he so gloomy and pessimistic while I'm content and optimistic?"

"That's kind of complicated," Computer started to explain. "See, the first flaw is saying that you two are the same person. You're not, despite what DNA tests say. It depends on how one defines a person. What constitutes you as yourself? Your body? Your personality? Your beliefs? Your memories? It's hard to say. Johnny is the way he is for his own reasons. And even though you share his memories, you choose to live your life a different way."

"But Professor Membrane claimed that he was the one to recreate my brain. If he hadn't altered it, would I be exactly like Johnny?"

"I doubt it. Hell, you could even have chosen to be exactly like him, despite the alterations Membrane made. It's all subjective, a bunch of 'what if' questions that one asks themselves that all adds up to nothing. You are the way you are for multiple reasons. The whole 'Nature versus Nurture' debate, basically. Freud would have a field day if he could study you two."

"I see."

"I have to go," Computer said suddenly. "Zim is requesting my presence. Contemplate what I said to your heart's content, or don't. I don't really care." With that, the robot arm retracted into the ceiling, leaving J alone with his thoughts.

"This better be good," Johnny growled at the Irken, stepping into the room.

"Zim ASSURES you, Nny-human, it is quite important," Zim stated. "After you dragged J into the basement, the other Almighty Tallest had awoken, confused yet unharmed, so they cut the transmission. Gir turned on the TV, and we saw something...interesting."

"What was it?" Nny grumbled, intrigued despite his annoyance.

"There's this new...horrible...hyooman band named 'Reiterate'. They sing and perform songs already in existance, lacking creativity in their brainmeats."

"So what? I'll mutilate them with salad tongs, then they'll be wiped off the map of society."

"Their existance is NOT the issue, Nny-maniac. It is their lead singer that twisted Zim's guts into a horrible knot," Zim explained with a grimace. "Explain, Johnny. What did YOU first do when your memories ceased to exist?"

Johnny snickered. "You think I would remember that far back? But if I had to guess, I would say that I was listened to the voices around me telling me to kill others, kill myself, rediscover myself, feed the wall with blood, things like that."

"So the things around you manipulated the path your life took, yes?"

"Manipulated? HAH! I CHOSE to follow their advice, you piece of alien shit!"

Zim started to speak, but Gir interrupted with a squeal. "DA BAND IS ON SOON! I LOVE THEM SO MUCH! IF I DON'T WATCH THEM, I'LL EXPLODE!"

"Computer!" Zim called out. After a brief moment, a monitor descended from the ceiling.

"Yes?" it sighed.

"Turn the TV on to the EMTEEVEE channel, quickly!" Zim commanded.

"Yes, master," Computer responded, heavy sarcasm emphasizing the word 'master'. The TV flickered on, and a blonde girl with far too much make-up on squealed happily in front of a cheering mass crowding to the front of the stage.

"Welcome back, MTV fans!" the girl exclaimed with cheerleader enthusiasm, making Johnny's eye twitch with annoyance. "We're here with the fresh new band 'Reiterate'! Isn't that neat? We just heard their first copyrighted song, 'This is Halloween', and it was awesome! I could just listen to that lead singer all day, he's so hot! Because hotness decides whether or not someone's a good singer. Am I right fans? He's so cool, he doesn't even have a name!" The crowd of fangirls screamed happily in response.

"She needs to die," Johnny growled. Gir shushed him and turned back to the TV, smiling.

"And now it's time for their next copied song!" the host squealed. "The demo version of the song 'Oogie Boogie', which was originally sung by Danny Elfman! Are you ready for this?"

"No," Johnny replied, as the crowd on TV screamed again. The camera zoomed in on the stage, and several people bringing out unusual intruments appeared. A particularly tall one caught Johnny's eyes, and he stared at the figure when it walked up to the microphone and cleared its throat. It remained a sillhouette, as did all of the other band members. This seemed intentional, to set the mood. So though the homicidal maniac couldn't see the singer's facial features, his suspicions continued to grow. The rest of the band started up the intro music and the figure tapped his foot against the stage floor, seeming to wait for his cue. It eventually came, and a creepy smile appeared on the shadow as it began to sing the song.

"Well well well, what have we here?" the unnamed person sang, very Elfman-like. Johnny choked a bit, recognizing his own voice creepily singing the 'Nightmare Before Christmas' song.

"Sandy Claws huh?
Oh, I'm really scared!
So you're the one everybody's talkin' about, ha, ha, ha!

You're jokin', you're jokin'
I can't believe my eyes!
You're jokin' me, you gotta be,
This can't be the right guy!
He's ancient, he's ugly,
I don't know which is worse!
I might just split a seam now
If I don't die laughing first.

When Mr. Oogie Boogie says
There's trouble close at hand,
You'd better pay attention now
'Cause I'm the Boogie Man.
And if you aren't shakin'
Then there's something very wrong,
'Cause this may be the last time you hear the Boogie Song," Unnamed snickered. "Ohhh..."

"Ohhh!" his band answered.

"Ohhh..."

"Ohhh!"

"Ohhh..."

"Ohhh, he's the Oogie Boogie Man!" his band exclaimed.

"Well if I'm feelin' antsy
And there's nothin' much to do,
I might just cook a special batch
Of snake and spider stew.
And don't ya know one thing
That would make it so nice?
A roly-poly Sandy Claws to add a little spice!" Unnamed chuckled. Johnny had heard enough and turned off the TV, glaring at it.

"He's tainting my very name..." he hissed.

"But he don't gots a name!" Gir protested.

"THAT'S NOT THE POINT!" Johnny shouted at the robot. "Anybody who KNOWS me, like Devi and Squee, are going to see that! Nobody is going to take me seriously!"

"Zim thought you didn't care what others thought..." the Irken started to say right before Johnny jumped behind him and harshly ripped off the Pak.

"I learned from both Purple and Dib how important a Pak is to an alien," the maniac calmly stated with a wicked grin. "You'll die in ten minutes unless you do EXACTLY what I say, understand, you egotistical Irken?"

"Oh, you'll pay for this!" Zim threatened, trying to reach for it.

"Doubtful," Computer commented with a snicker.

"Stay out of this, Mr. Scolex!" Johnny demanded. He turned back to the alien. "Now I'm going to ask this, one more time. Do...you...understand?" Zim bobbed his head. "Good, now listen very, very carefully."

A/N: Sorry about the second author's note, I just have to say this. I got the idea for Nny's body singing the Oogie Boogie song from the YouTube video 'NNY's Oogie Boogie Song', which shows JTHM pics to the demo version of Danny Elfman singing the Oogie Boogie song. The next chapter will be from Unnamed's perspective, a flashback of sorts on how he got to the postion that he's in right now.