A/N: Hope people are enjoying this story. Kinda quiet out there on this one. One more chapter and we are done. Until next time-PCGirl.
Natalie felt like she was coming out of a tunnel and began to hear voices. She could hear both John and Jessica having a conversation. That didn't make sense-why would Jessica be in Seattle? Something else seemed off, but she wasn't sure just yet what it was. So instead she sat there for a few more moments listening to them.
"I get your point of view on this John. I do. But he's just trying to do what he feels like is best for his daughter."
"I understand the need to get her the best treatment out there-but shouldn't it be her decision? Shouldn't she get to decide where she wants to recover at? How would you feel if suddenly you were told you had to leave Texas where you've established yourself and get back under you dad's thumb."
"You just don't like my dad."
"Can you blame me? I have two words for you-restraining order. Surprised he hasn't tried that one again," he snarked back and then put his attention back onto Natalie.
Jessica gave a half smile, "Well, I promise I won't suggest that to him."
"Thank you," he said and felt Natalie's hand move in his and then her eyes began to open. "Hey," he said with a smile, feeling like he'd breathed for the first time in three days.
"Hey you two," she said and cracked a smile.
"Glad to see you are back," smiled Jessica as she went towards the door. "I'm going to find Michael. I'll be right back."
Natalie studied John for a moment and then realized what felt so off, "John?"
"Yeah?" he asked as he kept rubbing his thumb over the top of her hand, glad to hear her say his name once again. At hearing the fear in her voice he looked to her and knew there must be some paralysis.
"I can't-why can't I feel my legs?"
John took a deep breath, "It's going to be ok. Mike and the doctors are hopeful that it'll only be temporary."
Natalie's eyes filled with tears, "Hopefully? What the hell happened? How are you so damn calm?"
He said it wrong-he needed to wait for Michael to get here before saying another word. He'd be better at explaining it all. "Let's wait for Mike. He can explain all that to you. Do you remember going to the lab?"
Natalie nodded, "There was a case they needed me to supervise chain of custody of the evidence. I remember talking with Jessica-and then my tech came and got me. Was-was there an explosion in the lab?"
John nodded, not wanting to tell her yet that the three tech's that had been with her hadn't survived. Hearing the door open he looked to see his brother and another doctor he didn't know yet.
"Hey Nat-welcome back," he grinned, trying to find a balance between being professional and being a friend. "This is Dr Rebecca Walden-she's our spinal specialist."
"So I am paralyzed?" she asked bluntly.
The other doctor walked up and smiled, "For now-but I've looked at your tests. It seems to be only temporary. I don't see why after time and rehab you won't regain full use. We just have to retrain your brain. It's not going to be quick or easy-but at your age I don't see why you won't be able to walk again. I'm going to let you process that before throwing more on you-I'll be back by later."
Natalie blinked furiously and then wiped the tears from her eyes, "Thank you, Dr Walden. Michael. John. Can you give me and Jess a moment alone?"
"Uhm, sure. I'll be right outside," said John as he got up from his seat and walked out with his brother. He was surprised she had sent him away, "You think she's ok?"
Michael chuckled at his brother, "I think she will be. I also think she just had the wind knocked out of her at the realization that she can't use her legs at the moment. Why don't you give her some space-go home and help with the kids. Maybe have Vicki and Roxy come here. I'm sure she could use both her moms more than us right now."
Jessica turned to watch John walk off before putting her full attention back to Natalie and sitting on the edge of the bed, "Hey-no worries. You are going to be back up and running in no time. No pun intended."
Natalie kept her head down, fidgeting with the edge of the hospital blanket, "What were you and John talking about when I woke up?"
"Oh, nothing," she shrugged off.
"It wasn't nothing. I heard dad being brought up. What happened?"
Jessica sighed, she wasn't going to give up, "The first day we were here John walked in on dad and another doctor talking. Dad wanted to know when it would be safe to have you go back home to Llanview and do rehab there instead of staying here in Seattle. John made it pretty clear he wasn't keen on the idea-at least not without your consent."
She nodded in thought, "What did the doctor say?"
"What? You-you aren't seriously thinking about leaving here."
"Why not? I mean there's nothing here keeping me."
"Natalie Banks. There is everything keeping you here. There is your job-."
"Not including me there were three technicians in the lab before the explosion. How many survived, Jess?"
She gave a deep sigh, wishing someone else had to break the news, "Just you."
Natalie leaned her head back and closed her eyes, "Just me. Wow."
Jessica nodded in sympathy, "Michael still needs you. Those two kids still need you. Did you see the banner they made you? Oh, and Liam made you a few cards-I think John may have helped too," she laughed as she turned around and grabbed the cards off the table.
"I'm no good to Michael if I can't use my legs, Jess. I just watched you brush up against my leg when you turned-and you know what I felt? Nothing. Absolutely nothing!" she yelled, her anger at the sitituation rising.
"What about John? I know he won't leave Liam's side again-or your's. He's barely left you since you got here."
"John can keep Liam here in Seattle," she said softly as she felt tears begin to start again. The thought of being away from her boy was hard-but the thought of him seeing her like this was worse. Plus she wouldn't take him away from his dad again.
"You don't mean that, sweetie," she said as she wiped a tear of her own away.
"No, I do. Because you are right-Michael still needs support. So Liam and John can stay here-I'll-I'll just go back to Llanview and not have to worry about being a burden to anyone."
"You are impossible at times, you know that? You are not and have never been a burden. You are my stronger half-always. And I am forever grateful for that. Since you've come into my life it's always been you to pick me up when I'm down. Even when I didn't know I needed it you were there. So now it's my turn. I'm giving you ten minutes for this pitty party and then that's it. Do you hear me?"
Natalie couldn't help but crack a smile at her sister bossing her around, "I hear you, but I just-I don't know what to do."
"We'll figure it out-together. Everyone is here for you, Natalie. You don't have to do this alone," she said as she squeezed her sister's hand.
Natalie tried to not let the quietness of the room over take her, but it was hard. They'd moved her to a private room on the orthopedic floor and then she'd sent everyone home for the night-needing time to rest and decide the next move. She'd brought up to Rex what her and Jessica had talked about-possibly going somewhere else for rehab. He was a little more keen on the idea than Jessica-saying he would go along with whatever she wanted.
What she wanted to do right now was stare at her legs and plead for them to move or feel something. But of course that wasn't going to happen. Sighing and wiping the tears away she looked up to see John walk back in, "Hey. I thought you'd left for the night."
"I had," he said as he pulled out her cell phone. "But when I got home there was a little boy that pleaded with me to see you. To know his mom was ok."
"I'm far from ok, John," she snarked at him.
"You will be. When I had to break his heart again and tell him no I promised him the next best thing. Call my phone," he said and handed the phone to her.
Natalie waited as it rang and then watched as the video chat came up and she saw her boy smiling back at her, "Hey baby."
"Mom!" he shouted, his face breaking out into a smile that John saw was completely his mom's. "I've missed you."
"I've missed you too," she said, realizing this was truly the longest the two of them had ever been apart. "Are you being good for everyone? I hear you've got a lot of cousins that you've been playing with."
"He's being the best," interjected John.
"When are you coming home?"
"I don't know. Liam," she said as she looked over to John. "As soon as I know something I'll let you know. I'm sorry you didn't get to see the Eagles play."
"It's ok," he shrugged. "Uncle Rex and Uncle Mike are going to take us to a trampoline park tonight."
"Sounds fun. Hope they doesn't load you up on too much sugar and junk food," she laughed. "You have fun-I'll see you soon though. Ok, buddy? I love you."
"Love you too, Mom. Love you, Dad."
"Love you, buddy," he said and then the call ended.
Natalie felt the tears coming and couldn't keep them from showing. This was all so unfair. To her. To the technicians that had died. To Liam. To John. She watched as John pulled out a hankerchief from his pocket and handed it over to her. Wiping her eyes she tried to put on a brave front, "Have you heard anything from the Bureau on what happened exactly?" she asked, knowing that John would be itching to get down to the bottom of it all.
John nodded, "My friend Brett-we went through Quantico together. He's with the Seattle office too and told me some-apparently there were some dirty cops that were in on some underground dealings. The FBI was called in to oversee it as it all went down. One of these low lifes slipped a pipe bomb in the evidence bag. There were also other bombs that had been attached to the underside of a few agent vehicles. Those went off in traffic causing more fatalities than just the g-men."
"I hadn't made it all the way into the lab. That's why I survived?"
John nodded, "Most likely."
It was so much to hit her at once with, "Liam's going to need you a lot in the coming months. You ready to take it all on?"
"He'll have you too," he reassured her.
She gave out a strangled laugh, "I'm useless John. Look at me."
"You are far from useless. You are still my strong, fierce fiery redhead. Always," he said as he pushed her hair behind her ear.
"I don't feel very strong or fierce at the moment," she said, lowering her head and avoiding eye contact.
John gave her a half smirk as he lifted her chin up and made their eyes connect, "You will. I remember right after the accident how low I felt and how impossible the task seemed. But you'll make it through to the other side."
"What if there is no other side? What if I never can use my legs again? I'm not that shallow about being in a wheelchair for the rest of my life. I just don't know how to raise Liam if I am. Or work. Or-anything."
"We've got all the time in the world to figure it out. No reason. to get it all planned out tonight. And I'm here-with you-for you. You and me, Natalie. No looking back. Only forward, ok?" he said as he took her hand in his and just held it quietly.
"Yeah, of course," said Natalie as she stared at her hand in his. She wanted to put on the brave face he was asking of her-wanted to say she knew it would all be ok in the end. But a part of her wondered still if it would be better for her to focus on herself and let John focus only on raising Liam.