Heyy, this is chapter seven, right (believe it or not, I get an A in math...)? Anyway, I think this is my favorite chapters so far, mostly because it was so fun to write. I hope it's just as fun for you to read. If you like, let me know, if you don't, let me know. So much thanks to all you people who gave me feedback, and special thanks to the people who elaborated on the 'omg so good write more!' kind of thing. Not that it's bad if you wrote that, but someone who writes a lot gives you the impression they're really trying to help you.
But if you are awkward about your feelings for works of literature (haha), don't worry. I won't judge. Feedback is feedback, after all!
SAM:
I stared at my closet doors and swallowed. I'd been wrong about a lot of things lately, but this one was probably the thing I was most surprised about (that, and falling head over heels for Freddie Benson). I took a deep breath, opened my closet doors, and stepped inside. One of the advantages of having a twin is that you get a walk-in closet. I walked past all of my stuff…
… into what I liked to call "Melanie's House of Horrors". My sister, being the 'polite' type, had been invited to numerous formal occasions. The twenty-seven pretty, sparkly dresses that filled the back of our closet were her trophies.
I just never expected I'd actually ever wear them. You know, me being me.
I fingered the dresses as I walked along the rack, looking for one that caught my eye. That was kind of hard, though, since they all blended into one giant mass of sparkles and glitter. It was blinding and incredibly frustrating.
Ten minutes later, and I still hadn't come anywhere near to finding a dress. Turns out, Melanie has added to her collection since I last counted. I glanced at my watch. Freddie was picking me up in half an hour, and I was still wearing a tank-top and jeans with my hair in the saddest looking pony-tail I'd ever seen. I was toast.
As if I needed more to distract me, the doorbell rang. I groaned. "What now?" Running to the front door, I threw it open, expecting to see one of my mom's ex-boyfriends -
- and instead, I saw Freddie, standing there in the rain with a tie around his neck and a startled expression on his face. Before I could even react, he literally threw himself at me, slamming the door shut with his foot and sending both of us tumbling to the ground.
"Have you lost your -" I started to say, but Freddie, for the second time in a day, threw his hand over my mouth. I gritted my teeth, but stopped myself from biting him.
A few seconds later, he gingerly lifted his hand from my mouth. "What's your problem?" I hissed, feeling like I should whisper. "You weren't supposed to be here for -"
"My mom's here," he interrupted me urgently.
I think my jaw dropped. I fumbled for something to say, but all I could think of was, "What?" This was it. I literally was dead. I full expected Mrs. Benson to come charging in through my door with a chainsaw and hand sanitizer.
Along with deciding not to mention us dating on iCarly, we'd also agreed on not telling Mrs. Benson. I mean, let's face it, his mom is certifiably insane. If she found out Sam Puckett - with an extensive record of juvie, detention, and violence - was dating her son, she might very literally kill us. Kind of like Romeo and Juliet, except that there is no way I'm going to kill myself over a guy (it's pathetic and undignifying) and that Romeo and Juliet's problem was a walk in the park compared to ours.
"I was getting ready for tonight, and my mom barges into my room and starts asking where I'm going, and I said I was going on a date -"
"You said what?" I shrieked, sitting up.
"Shhhh-shush-shh!" Freddie shushed me frantically as he sat up, his eyes flickering towards the front door like my mom after a break-up. When he was certain I would be silent, he breathed, "She has ears like a… like, I don't know, an elephant."
"Why is she here?" I whispered frantically.
"She followed me! She started getting all motherly and asking all these questions, so I told her I had to go and I took the car and she caught a bus. I parked in the woods a block away, and I ran here, but she got the bus driver to drive around the street twice and now she's stopping at every house, demanding if I'm here."
"Holy crap," I moaned. "Holy crap, we're dead!" I was so worried, I didn't even let myself get distracted by the fact that Freddie drove here (he was the only one of us who had his license so far, but he almost never drove anywhere because it practically gave his mom a heart attack). For him, it was very bad boy.
"She's like ten houses away," Freddie told me, getting more and more panicked by the second. "We have maybe ten minutes, fifteen tops."
I needed to think of a plan. I was good at winging it, right? Now was my chance to prove myself. I pinched the bridge off my nose and closed my eyes. "Okay… um, what time is it?" That was a stupid question, I have a watch. But Freddie didn't notice this, and he pulled out his phone.
"Six-eleven," he told me. And then I thought an even more horrible than the ones that had been rushing through my head in the past minute.
"Freddie," I said slowly. "Didn't you tell me your mom had one of those ultra fancy GPS things implanted into your phone?"
His brown eyes widened. "She's gonna think of that soon. We're screwed. Oh, man, oh man." He put his hand on his forehead, running it through his hair, and starting breathing like a maniac.
I took a deep breath. He was obviously going to be useless. I snatched the phone from his hand, stood up, and hurried into the kitchen. Freddie followed me worriedly. Putting the phone on the counter, I stretched onto my tip-toes and pulled open the cabinet. The box, labeled GPS Stuff, was there, thank God.
"What are you doing?" Freddie asked as I pulled down the box and lifted off the lid. I pulled out a pair of tweezers and an extremely thin knife. Gently, I lifted the back off of his phone (it was hard, considering it was a PearPhone, but I have experience) and pulled out a tiny bit of electronical gunk. I then carefully put the back on his phone, gave the phone back to Freddie, and dropping the piece of phone into the garbage disposal. All I had to do then was turn on the garbage disposal and slide the box back onto the shelf. Perfect.
Freddie was staring at me. "What -"
"No time," I cut him off. "Follow me." I took his hand, grabbed an umbrella from the hat rack, and pulled him out the back door. We ran like crazy through the rain, hopping over my rotting fence and not stopping until we reached the edge of the woods behind my yard. I wrestled with the umbrella for a second before I wrenched it open, and then we stood there, panting like dogs.
"What did you do to my phone?" Freddie asked after a minute.
"I took out the GPS." Seeing his face, I continued, "When the cops put one of those in your phone, you learn things."
Freddie smiled, but it faded away a second later. "Look." He pointed at a bus driving slowly from my next-door neighbor's home to mine.
I sighed. "Would you stop worrying? It'll be fine, I've done this a million times." To make him laugh, I tugged on his tie and added, "I like your tie. Very fancy."
He smirked. "Thanks." Glancing at what I was wearing, he raised an eyebrow. "You're not planning on wearing that, are you?"
"And you wonder why you've never had a girlfriend before," I teased, but for once without an edge. "No, Benson, I was in the middle of getting ready when you barged in."
"Oh. Well, sorry."
"It's okay."
"Hey, did you call Carly yet?"
"Oh shoot, no. Can you?"
"Yeah, sure. I'll call when we get back inside. The rain would make it impossible to -"
"Freddie, I don't do details about anything other than my business and other people's."
Freddie, smiling, nodded seriously and saluted me. "Sure thing, Miss Puckett."
We fell back into comfortable silence as we waited for Mrs. Benson to leave my house. Vaugely, I wondered how many girls have stood out in the rain with their boyfriend and an umbrella, waiting for his pyscotic mother to leave her house once she realizes she doesn't have a search warrant so she can't barge in and murder the girl. Probably very few.
Then again, what did I know? I was failing math.
Just as we saw the bus start to pull away, Freddie said, "You know, if I wasn't so scared that my mom was going to get out a tazer and start chasing us around, I'd say this is kind of cool. You know, romantic." He sounded like he was blushing. How Freddie.
I tried to bite back a smile, but I ultimately failed. "The only reason they say that is that if a guy kisses a girl when it's pouring out and he's got the umbrella, she's stuck. If the girl had the umbrella… things would go differently."
"So, if you had the umbrella, what would you do if I tried to kiss you?" He asked, turning towards me and smiling mischievously.
"Well, for starters, I'd -" But then he kissed me. I might have slightly lost my train of thought.
When we stopped, he grinned triumphantly at me. "Too late." I gave him a little shove, but I couldn't shake the smile off my face. Plus, if I pushed him too hard, he'd drop the umbrella, and I'd get all wet. Darn Freddie.
Don't tell anyone I said this, but kissing in the rain is one of most beautiful things in the world.
Well, besides ham.