I had an exam yesterday, sorry I didn't upload. Here you guys go. Thank you for reviews. 8D (again, sorry for typos and shit, ignore them)

Disclaimer: I don't own DRRR. Or maybe I do.

I was late to support group. I rushed inside and Maxwell smiled at me like the sweet idiot that he was. I didn't like him one bit, even though he was supposed to help me with my problem.

I looked for any open seats and was not surprised that the only one left was next to Izaya. He had his jacket on it and from what I saw, he was hiding a smile.

I rolled my eyes and strolled to take my seat.

Izaya took his jacket and hung it on his own chair. I stared at his now healing wrists, fairly disgusted by him.

It's not like I didn't want to start cutting again. Once you start, there is no going back. You relive the moments when a razor so sharp cuts through your skin, sending tingling pain down to your nerves. It took my mind of. It was my personal dirty secret. I was trying so hard to get away from my past.

And yet Izaya was indulging it.

"I was saving you a seat," he said, now giving me his most pleasant smile, which was a definite lie.

I didn't answer.

This session blew. Maxwell asked a few girls about self-harm and comforted them after heartbreaking stories about how their family sucked or no one understood them. He tried talking me into it, but I refused. I wasn't likely to share my story with a complete stranger and a bunch of other suicidal teenagers. When it was Izaya's turn, Maxwell sighed.

"Izaya," he started. I saw Izaya preparing for word battle. "I have heard your mother is in the hospital."

"You heard correctly," Izaya admitted.

"How do you feel about that?"

"I cut my chest yesterday," he answered with a full-on smile. I was disgusted by him. To think I tasted the lips of such an asshole.

Maxwell pursed his lips and leaned forward. "You have been in this group for a year and it clearly doesn't help. I'm sure we can explore new options, if you'd like -"

"I don't care," Izaya snapped. "I'm only here because my parents want me to and also, Shizu-chan needs a friend."

He turned to me and winked, to which I responded in an open-mouthed manner.

"I don't need a friend -"

"So you two are friends now?" Maxwell said, interested.

Izaya nodded. "The best kind," he said. I wanted to protest but Izaya quickly clutched my hand and squeezed it. "He's helping me a lot."

Maxwell clapped his hands. "Oh! So Shizuo is your new 'treatment'?"

I looked around frantically, seeing more than curiosity written all over other kids faces. I tried yanking my hand out of Izaya's grip but he tugged it. I was trapped.

"I've been through a lot," Izaya said, obviously putting a play up for the audience. "He's always there for me. I...I called him yesterday, you know, after I cut. He hushed me until 4 a.m."

Izaya literally had tears in his eyes, manipulating every single person in this room.

"How do you feel about this Shizuo?" Maxwell asked.

I glanced at Izaya, who shot me a 'play along or i'm blackmailing you' look.

"I'm embarrassed," I said the truth, not wanting to lie. I've had enough of Izaya's puppy eyes. I knew it would give me nightmares later.

"I understand," Maxwell said. He saw our arms linked and I noticed his face softening. "Young love."

Izaya nodded and my face fell into a huge bucked of red paint. I couldn't believe Izaya just fucking made every single person in this room believe we were more than friends just by playing out a horrifying role. He wasn't sweet. He wasn't caring. Izaya cared only for himself and that was the point where I couldn't understand why he hasn't let go of my hand for the rest of the session. I could feel his blood pulsing beneath his skin. Izaya's heat scorched me, my hand started sweating. And he didn't let go.

He acted.

When the session was over, I was eager to call mom and tell her I didn't want to go here any longer. I'd go to dr. Morris, explain him how being in this group didn't help and I wanted a different treatment. I fantasized about it in my head, when I got back to reality and felt Izaya pulling me out of my seat. We were the only one's left (besides Maxwell, who observed us like we were some kind of a psychological experiment of his) and Izaya had plans of his own.

He dragged me out of the room, not bothering saying good-bye to Maxwell.

I yanked my hand (finally) and halted. Izaya turned around.

"What was that?" I asked.

"What was what?" he answered in a question.

I gestured at the cabinet we just left. "We're not friends, not lovers. Why the fuck are you doing all of this? Do you feel satisfaction while feeding lies to unsuspecting teens?"

He chuckled. "But Shizu-chan," he said. "Wasn't it fun? Weren't you enjoying yourself, making them believe every word that came out of my mouth?"

I simply stared at him in disgust.

"Making people believe something you say is so easy," Izaya said, walking toward the exit. I followed him. "I love observing their faces, their reactions. I can see lust, jealousy, curiosity. All these emotions - they make me feel alive, you know?"

I didn't know.

"I could fuck every kid in that room," Izaya said. "All I have to do is make them believe I care and wave my finger. They'd come crawling."

"You disgust me," I said.

"I know," Izaya said, lost in thought for a few seconds. "Why don't we watch a movie at my house tomorrow?"

"No."

We went outside and Izaya walked with me. This time, I knew I'd push him away if he even tried touching me.

"Why not?" he whined. "We already kissed. I have a pretty big movie collection."

"You'd probably rape me."

"No way," Izaya said. "I don't 'rape' people. I get a clear 'yes' before sex."

"Like I believe you," I said, not really telling the truth. I believed him. It was a strange feeling. Every day I learned something new about Izaya and I was not sure how I felt about it.

"If you come watch a movie at my place," Izaya started. "I can get past my 27 hang out list. There'd be only two to go before I fuck off for good."

I thought about it. Maybe, just maybe, if I agreed, it'd go away faster and I could live in peace without thinking about Izaya and his lips. I could hang out with him. I could pretend I was his friend for a little while.

I would have to somehow get around the 27 lovers list.

I gazed into his eyes for a while, admiring their crimson color before exhaling deeply.

"Okay."

"C'mon, Shizu-chaaan... Wait. What?" Izaya said.

"Okay. We can hang out once."

"Really?"

"Once, though," I said. "I just want your fucking flea ass out of my life as soon as possible."

He gave me a genuine smile. "Which means were going from this list to the last one in this order, right?"

I considered punching him.

"Just shut the fuck up and tell me when and where."

I came back home, in desperate need of talking to mom. She was already back from work, making dinner. I tied an apron on, deciding I should help her.

She was more than happy to let me chop vegetables.

"How was support group?" she asked.

"I don't like it one bit," I said. "I actually wanted to talk to you about this."

She didn't stop working on the steaks but I could see her face changing.

"Okay," she said. "But isn't it just you exaggerating? You've only been to three sessions."

"Maxwell said I could drop out after three."

"Who's Maxwell?"

"Our group leader."

"Oh."

We stopped talking for a while. I was thinking about what I should say next. I wanted to convince her I was better off dealing with this alone but she put her knife down and sighed.

"Shizuo," she said. "I know it's hard going through all of this. But your father and I think you should continue the support group for as long as you possibly can."

"But mom -"

"It's only been three sessions," she said. "End of discussion."

I chopped the last vegetable a little too angry, making her flinch.

"Is that what you would've said to Kasuka if he was in a situation like this?" I asked, my anger rising.

She froze.

"Don't...don't bring Kasuka into this conversation -" she almost whispered.

"Or what?" I snapped. "He's dead anyway. I'm sick and tired of you and dad pretending that he didn't exist."

She didn't look at me. Didn't spare a single glance.

Only then did I realize how harsh those words sounded.

I gaped at my words, somehow afraid of what was about to come out.

"I...I didn't... mean to.." I said, cleaning my hands into the apron. "Really, I'm sorry, mom -"

"It's alright," she breathed out. She blinked as if to make the tears go away and I already felt horrible for bringing up Kasuka.

I went ahead with myself and hugged her. She hugged me back.

And then we both started crying.

WOW, WE'RE ALMOST GETTING TO THE POINT WHERE SHIZUO REVEALS HOW THE FUCK DID HE FIGURE SELF-HARM WAS A WAY OUT OF THE PAIN.

Sorry for caps lock, I'm way too excited.

And I will stop asking for reviews, I'm not writing this story for them anyway. It's purely for your enjoyment (and mine). So you can do as you please, I'm happy either way. *heart*