I don't own Batman or Wonder Woman…DC does. Not run through a beta so they are my boo-boos.
Bruce Wayne sighed as he gazed out the window of the limo at the bountiful paparazzi as they waited for their next target, which happened to be him. There seemed to be more and more of them at every event. Not that that was really a bad thing for him personally, as the more videos and photos that surfaced of him at events like these gave him a little more leeway in skipping other events down the line. Still…
"I'd rather have Kent punch me in the chest than go to this thing."
And he wasn't kidding. Every year the Gotham Shelter for Women held, as one of their many fundraisers in support of their very worthy work, a bachelor auction. He didn't know who'd had the sense of humor in coming up with the idea of "buying" men for a night as a way to help women who needed it, but it worked. The event always raised a considerable amount of money. This year he was pursued, vigorously pursued, by the new director of the foundation, a Miss Helena Parisia, into being the star attraction. He could have refused, but like the paparazzi waiting for him now, participating in the event would give Bruce Wayne a lot of public appearance collateral that he could use later to get out of other events.
And, well, the woman wouldn't take 'no' for an answer. He'd even written a very generous check and given it to her in lieu of appearing. She had looked at the check, thanked him profusely as she'd put in her briefcase and then proceeded to tell him what time to show up so that he could be auctioned off.
And that, as they say, was that.
Alfred glanced into the rearview mirror of the limo and said, "After your repeated threats about using kryptonite against him, I'm sure Master Kent would be more than willing to oblige, sir." He made the right hand turn that would bring the limo to the front door of the Gotham Ritz and slowed the car down as the paparazzi began buzzing around. "Shall I give him a call and see if he is available?"
Alfred brought the limo to stop in front of the massive double glass doors to the building and put the car in park. He looked up to the mirror again to find Bruce looking thoroughly unamused. "I guess not," he muttered softly as he opened the door and got out of the limo.
Bruce plastered his best playboy smile on his face as Alfred opened the door for him and he stepped out of the limo into the warm August evening. He managed to keep his eyes open to give the photographers some good shots despite the blinding light generated by dozens of flashes and walked towards the building, ignoring all the usual questions about models he'd never met and misadventures he'd never had.
Finally he made it inside and went to the main ballroom where the first person he came face to face with was Miss Parisia herself. She was a young woman with dark, shoulder length hair and brown eyes. She wore nothing in the lines of jewelry save for a golden necklace from which dangled a pendant in the shape of a golden apple. Her golden dress highlighted her athletic figure and he thought she would have been utterly beautiful if she hadn't been scowling at him like he'd just kicked her favorite pet.
"You're late, Mr. Wayne," she declared in a voice that was akin to fingernails being dragged across a chalk board. "You were supposed to be here six minutes ago."
Bruce was about to playfully explain the finer points of Gotham traffic patterns but couldn't as Parisia grabbed him by the arm and started towing him through the throng of people gathered in the ballroom. He managed to wave and smile at some of the people who tried to talk to him, but that was about it.
When Parisia finally stopped pulling his arm, he found himself on the massive stage looking out onto the crowd. He smiled sheepishly and waved to the people eliciting a few catcalls and much laughter, causing him in turn to shrug him shoulders giving them even more reason to laugh.
Bruce kept his forced smile firmly in place as Parisia stepped up the microphone and began her introductory speech. He listened for a moment before turning his attention to the crowd. He didn't immediately recognize any faces from the criminal element of Gotham, but that certainly didn't mean there weren't criminals amongst them. He scanned around the room many times, looking for telltale signs of trouble and any hints of impending foul play that might require Batman.
He found none.
Before he knew it the bidding had started and he chided himself for being so focused on looking for trouble that he'd failed to notice the trouble standing a mere few feet to his left in the form of Miss Parisia. She was riddling off amounts and pointing at people making bids like a champion auctioneer, and to her credit she was doing a fine job as bids were coming in at an all too impressive clip.
She'd reached five thousand dollars when a voice he knew all too well announced from the middle of the crowded ballroom, "Twenty-five thousand dollars!"
The sea of people parted to reveal Selina Kyle, her emerald eyes looking at him intently and her beautiful mouth forming an almost predatory smile.
He was about to make a typically Bruce Wayne sexist remark to try to diffuse whatever was about to happen when another voice rang out from off to his left.
He knew that voice as well, and while he'd gone on guard at hearing Selina's voice, he went on full alert at hearing Talia's voice calling out, "Five hundred thousand dollars."
She stepped forward until she could be seen by all, sending hushed murmurs throughout the throng of people. She looked into his eyes and then bowed her head respectfully, mouthing her endearment for him, "Beloved", as she did so.
Where's the Joker or the Penguin when you need them? he asked himself as he looked back and forth between two of his former loves. It wasn't that he begged for trouble from either of those criminal masterminds, but the prospect of trying to extricate himself from this increasingly dire scenario was becoming more and more daunting.
He held his hands out pleadingly and said playfully, "Now ladies…"
"Mister Wayne!"
Bruce snapped his mouth shut and turned to look at Miss Parisia to find her glaring at him in a way that Batman would have been proud of, telling him with her eyes and stern frown to shut the hell up.
"One million dollars!"
Bruce's heart fluttered upon hearing that sweet, melodious voice he'd come to adore and he immediately sought her out with his eyes. It took only a second to find Diana off to his right, her natural beauty allowing her to stand out above all others and the love he felt for her acting better than any GPS ever could.
She took a second to send a smirk towards Selina and Talia, and then refocused her attention upon him. Laughter danced in her eyes and the smirk that had been playing on her lips for her "competitors" turned into a beautiful smile for him.
Talia upped the bid and Diana quirked an eyebrow at him, asking him if she should continue bidding. While Diana was a princess from an island that had its share of wealth, she didn't have the actual money and they both knew it, therefore any bids she made would have to be covered by him.
He made no effort to conceal his desire for her to do exactly that and she laughed when he nodded with more enthusiasm than Selina and Talia liked. She could bankrupt him for all he cared, as long as she was the last woman sanding.
He winked at Diana as she doubled Talia's bid earning a growl from Selina and a huff from Talia, but most importantly it earned another nova like smile from Diana…
In the Great Hall of Olympus, Aphrodite sat in her comfortable throne and smiled as she read the society pages from the Gotham Gazette. She had actually been in the ballroom of the Gotham Ritz two mortal nights ago when the auction had taken place and had been delightfully entertained by the event.
She sighed as she looked at a particularly beautiful picture of Bruce Wayne and Diana dancing after her successful "purchase" of him, and then chuckled musically at the image of Helena Parisia in the background with her arms crossed and looking so very angry.
There was a flash of light and Aphrodite thought, Speak of the imp and she shall appear.
Eris, goddess of discord, looked at Aphrodite and said warningly, "Don't"
Aphrodite laughed at the ominous tone in Eris' voice and stood up from her throne. "'Helena Parisia', Eris?" asked Aphrodite mirthfully as she walked towards her fellow goddess. She had found some amusement in Eris using variations of Helen and Paris' names for her mortal disguise. She stopped in front of Eris and held the Gazette out in front of her so that she couldn't help but see the picture she'd been admiring a moment ago. "Nice picture, isn't it?"
Eris trembled in anger and Aphrodite said, "It was a nice try, Eris." Aphrodite laughed again as she walked back towards her throne and joyously repeated as she sat back down, "Nice try."