Hey Duck

Now I know that I'm truly going off the deep end; I'm writing to dead friends. It still hurts you know; not having you here to talk to. Maybe Laurie was right and I need to do this … even if it's the first and last time that I'll ever write you a letter. I'm confused Duck; I feel like I let my youngest agent down all those years ago, but…the hate and anger that I felt back then, it wouldn't let me see past my need for revenge. I needed to kill, not hurt or even maim…I needed to kill the bastard responsible for Shannon and Kelly's deaths.

I know it's too late now to look back and wonder how or if I would have handled things any differently and honestly, I don't think I would have. As much as I … as much as I cared for Tim and Sarah, they weren't mine. God! I'm not sure I'm even explaining this to you right and you're dead! I need your guidance old man, and you're not here to give it to me.

If not for that bastard killing my family, I might have been able to prevent the circumstances that led to Tim and Sarah getting kidnapped. I never told you or anyone else this, but that was the first time. It was also the last time that I ignored my gut. If only I'd known then what that particular feeling meant. As it is I took two antacids and woke up on the side of the road the next morning.

By the time I finally remembered Tim and Sarah not only were they gone, but so were any traces of them.

I know that Tim's been writing to you and I wouldn't be a bit surprised if Tony does too (if he hasn't already). You know, you were right all those years ago; this team really is my family now. Tony and Sarah have given me a grandson. Granpa Jefro…it's really cute hearing it come from little Donny's lips, but I won't tell them that; hell, they'll think I've gone soft sayin' things like 'cute', but that little boy is the sunshine in our lives right now.

I'm an assistant director. How in the name of all that's holy did I let myself be talked or charmed into that? Oh I know what started it…DiNozzo and McGee all concerned about my mental health. And then that lady came back into my life and for almost two weeks I was content Duck.

I can almost hear you asking "what did you do Jethro?"

"Nothing, Duck." Sighing here, because the lady is black ops and even with my current security level I'm unable to access her file. Who is she Duck and why is she so important? How can she know every time that I need her and yet…she's not here now Duck! The one person who might be able to explain why I couldn't help my agent and she's not here!

Ahh, forget it Duck…I can't do this…I can't keep up with this psychobabble bullshit…

I'm sorry old friend but I just can't…

*the letter is crumpled up and thrown into the fireplace where it joins the ashes of several other attempts to communicate with an old friend.*

Back at Tim's apartment:

Tim and Gibbs along with John and Maggie McGee are trying to figure out why it took so long for Gibbs to find Tim again. Gibbs is saying, "I let you down, by not remembering, the Kopfs were able to take you and …"

"No, you were there. In segments of my memories, I could still hear you calling me Son, telling me to stay alive. I remember a pair of blue eyes staring into mine, daring me to stay alive, to not give in to the pain."

"And I didn't remember until it was too late. You were already gone and I had no trace whatsoever."

The two older McGees smile at the bond between the two men. Obviously Tim had made an impact on Gibbs all those years ago. John asks to see the files and after close inspection steps over and pulls a highlighter out of Tim's desk.

"That's why you couldn't find them."

Tim and Gibbs step closer and Tim shakes his head as he hands the file to Gibbs. The older man is flabbergasted by the one error that the hospital had made and no one had thought to correct…Tim was listed on the hospital forms as Timothy McGibbs.

Gibbs groans as he thinks about his conversations not only with the EMT but later with the doctor in the hospital. Everyone had thought that Tim was his son. Even the nurses had commented on how the forms had been filled out before hand. All they'd done is put in Gibbs next to the Mc and then Gibbs himself had signed the admittance forms.

Maggie looks up at Gibbs in confusion. She knows by now that Gibbs had told the team upon first meeting Tim again that her son had gone to MIT and Johns Hopkins. Gibbs tells her that as team leader he was often called upon to go and observe FLETC candidates without being detected.

"I watched a young man with an obviously years old injury struggle through an obstacle course. This young man didn't balk at anything he was told to do. He didn't have the fastest time there, but he did have the determination to finish the job."

Gibbs had been about to turn away when a flash of green had caught his eye. He'd turned back and pulling his sniper's scope out of his pack looked into the face of someone that he'd thought lost years ago. Gibbs looked down at the name on the list in his hand and made a note to dig deeper into the background of Timothy McGee.

Gibbs frowns as he turns to his agent. "Your forms were in Sarah's backpack. Yet neither of you could have known what would happen that day."

"I wasn't just picking up Sarah that day. I was planning on taking her to our grandparent's house. Mom had always said that if anything felt wrong to take Sarah and wait for them until we were given the all clear."

"Then when you were heading back to the school…"

"I really did panic. I thought at first that the cops were after me; that somehow I'd screwed up and left some clue at the house as to where we were going. Then I realized that the brakes were gone and that the bus was there and Sarah had said she was going to be going to Arlington and there were no busses coming from Arlington other than the ones from her school."

John and Gibbs exchange looks. John's clearly asking, "Does he always talk this fast?"

Gibbs just nods. He's processing the fact that Tim just said that the brakes were gone on the Camaro. Not liking where his thinking is taking him he asks Tim if it's still possible to pull up any police files relating to that period of time.

Tim pulls out his laptop saying, "Not highly likely from that long ago but we can check. It all depends on how long ago the department…okay, I stand corrected. There is an incident report; actually there are two. The first one details what happened after I missed the bus. The second one…"

Tim's voice trails off and he goes into the kitchen. Tim sits down on the floor between the fridge and the counter, and wraps his arms around his knees as he struggles to regain his breathing. Jethro the dog pads into the room and paws at Tim's hand. Tim automatically starts petting the animal letting the action soothe him and his troubled mind.

Back in the living room, Gibbs watches as his agent lurches into the kitchen. When the dog follows his master, Gibbs finishes reading the report, swearing slightly when he reads that Stacy Kopf had been the other driver. He looks at John and Maggie McGee both of whom are pale when they find out that at least one of their children had been a target that day and it had only been Tim's driving skills with Gibbs' later intervention that had prevented the younger McGees from dying.

John stares at his wife not comprehending why anyone would want to kill a child, let alone Tim or Sarah. Maggie is equally bewildered. Gibbs looks at them for several seconds then states, "Control…they made it so that they could control you. They didn't succeed in killing Tim and I'm guessing he was the target; if Tim had died, they could threaten to do the same to Sarah. Sarah going on the field trip was something they didn't plan on."

Maggie looks at John, "We had planned on Sarah coming with us to Florida that week until the school announced the Arlington trip. Then we couldn't drag her away as so many of her friends were going. Tim had just gotten his scholarship. He said that he could tour MIT that day and volunteered to stay on base with her and then they were going to join us for the weekend. We got the call later that day saying that if we didn't comply the Kopfs would finish what they started."

A/N: Thank you to Gossamer Moonglow and Shelbylou for their input and advice...thank you also to those who read and review...^_^