I'm depressed. I hardly got any reviews. I hardly got any hits, as well. This will be my last chapter for a while. I need reviews to keep me going, and I'm just not getting it from this fic. Once I get some reviews from this fic, I'll continue. Until then, like I said, this will be the last chapter I'll make for this fic for awhile. Unless I get some good reviews, of course.
Pointless Pikmin Plant Pains- Part 2
The one thousand Blue Pikmin menacingly approached Olimar. Olimar looked around, expecting one of his friends to help him, but all of his fellow crewmates were trapped.
Red Pikmin: Do something, Olimar!
Olimar looked once again at the oncoming Pikmin army.
Olimar: Are you crazy! I may have an underdeveloped streak of common sense, but just look at them! Even if these guys are only a fraction as homicidal as Blue Pikmin, that still makes them the most homicidal army in existence!
Blue Pikmin: Hey! I'm not homicidal! I'm very homicidal, thank you very much.
Louie: Come on! You have to help us!
Olimar: But…but…
The army was getting closer.
Louie: For Pete's sake, Captain! For once in your miserable life, just this once, do something heroic!
The word "Captain" clicked in Olimar's brain. Louie was right. He was the captain, and it was a captain's duty to protect his crew…no matter how pitiful his crew was.
White Pikmin: Hey! My tunnel vision can read subtitles too, you know! And let me tell you something else! …that was a mean thing to say… (sob)
Olimar didn't respond. He started to casually approach the oncoming cascade of Blue warriors.
Yellow Pikmin: Wow. You finally drove Olimar insane, Louie…
Yellow Pikmin then slapped Louie in the head.
Louie: Oww! What was that for?
Yellow Pikmin: I wanted to drive Olimar insane!
Olimar pushed a button on the sleeve of his space suit. He then charged full speed at the on coming army of Wild Blue Pikmin and punched the nearest one. The Pikmin was sent flying with almost comedic force. The Pikmin collided into a tree, leaving a small imprint. The army of Blue Pikmin then stopped for a moment to stare at the incredible feat.
Ship: Hey! He's using the Rocket Fist! I thought we sold that item…
Olimar continued to punch out the horde, sending a flurry of Blue Pikmin flying into nearby trees. Soon, all 1000 Blue Pikmin were on the ground with major concussions. After the fight, Olimar released Blue Pikmin and the rest of the crew.
Blue Pikmin: Wow….Wow. I never thought you had it in you, Olimar. Great work!
Olimar just stood there.
White Pikmin: Uh, Olimar?
Olimar emerged from the bushes.
Olimar: Hey guys.
The crew stared at him, the looked to the other Olimar.
Olimar: I just had to go to the bathroom. Did I miss anything?
Wogpole: Uh, how about having missed yourself Rocket Punching the entire Pikmin horde into oblivion.
Olimar: Oh, that's no me. That's just a robot.
He pulled out a remote and pushed a button. The robot's head exploded.
Louie: I knew having Olimar doing something brave was asking for to much…
Blue Pikmin walked over and pulled his brother into and embrace.
Yellow Pikmin: Wow. That's the first time I've ever seen Blue Pikmin hug something without squeezing the life out of it.
Blue Pikmin: What are you going to do now, Arnold? The whole tribe saw you help me…
Arnold smiled.
Wild Blue Pikmin (Arnold): They were all punched so hard they won't remember a thing when they wake up. But just to be safe, it'd probably be best if you left now. It was really nice seeing you again, bro.
Blue Pikmin smiled.
Blue Pikmin: Nice to see you again too. Keep in touch, kay?
Wild Blue Pikmin (Arnold): You know it!
The crew shook hands and said there goodbyes, and then walked off, with Blue Pikmin's brother waving at them as they walked back into the forest.
Wogpole: So, Blue Pikmin, your brother filled us in on a lot of your history, but we still don't know everything.
Blue Pikmin: What did he tell you so far?
Ship: About you coming back out of the cave and becoming hostile.
Blue Pikmin: Well, you see, after my little mood change, I joined my tribe's military. Because of my great fighting skills, I quickly became known throughout the tribe for my fierce fighting. Eventually I became so famous for my skills that I was known through out my tribe as "Tom the Typhoon".
Wogpole: …That's a stupid nickname.
Blue Pikmin sighed.
Blue Pikmin: I know, but it commanded intense respect among my tribe's military. And you have to remember, I was still very young when all this happened, so I was treated by my commanders like some kind of child prodigy.
Purple Pikmin: If it commanded so much respect, why were you constantly picked on?
Blue Pikmin: It commanded respect in the military. Everywhere else, not so much. Many of the non-warrior members of my village heard of my skills and treated me like some sort of freak, and those who didn't only did so because they feared me. I was a loner, and had only my brother for company. One day, I tricked one of the older Pikmin into going into a dangerous lake, and…
Red Pikmin: And what?
Blue Pikmin stopped walking. His friends also stopped. Blue Pikmin closed his eyes and recalled the day that changed his life forever.
Flashback
Tommy, who was admired throughout the village for his gentle disposition and big heart, was running through the streets of his poverty-stricken village in order to meet big brother, Arnold. He had just finished all of his chores and was looking forward to the rest of the day playing with his brother. He was rushing through the alley that was directly across from his house when he collided head-first into someone.
Blue Pikmin (Thomas): Whoa, I'm really sorry, mister…
He looked up to see who he ran into and gasped. It was Jake, Robert, and George, the three older Pikmin who constantly picked on him and his brother.
Wild Blue Pikmin (Jake): Well, lookie here. It's the runt. How ya doin', runt? Just where do you think your
going so fast?
The young Pikmin starred in fear at the older Pikmin, and wasn't able to reply for a few seconds. Eventually, however, he mustered enough courage to stutter a response.
Blue Pikmin (Thomas): Please, Jake. I'm supposed to meet my big brother soon!
The Pik just laughed and motioned towards toward his two friends. The three old Piks then started to hit the smaller Pikmin. The smaller Pikmin cried out in a combination of terror and pain. They would have continued hitting the bruised and bloodied younger Pikmin much longer if someone hadn't saw them.
Adult Blue Pikmin: Hey, hey! Get away from that boy now, or I'll get the guards!
The three older Pikmin just stood there for a second, as if they were going to continue assaulting the most harmless member of their tribe, but then snickered and walked away. The adult Pikmin then rushed over to the young Pikmin's side.
Adult Blue Pikmin: Are you okay, kid?
Through a haze of pain, the younger Pikmin smiled.
Blue Pikmin (Thomas): Yeah, just a few cuts.
The adult looked Tommy over and shook his head.
Adult Blue Pikmin: Those three are the biggest troublemakers in the entire tribe. I'd watch out for them if I were you, kid.
Blue Pikmin nodded happily.
Blue Pikmin (Thomas): Oh, I will sir.
Adult Blue Pikmin: Do you need any help getting home?
Blue Pikmin (Thomas): No thank you, sir. My house is just right there.
He pointed to his house, which was made of rocks and reeds.
The adult Pikmin looked worriedly at the young Pik.
Adult Blue Pikmin: You take care of yourself, son.
The young Pikmin nodded eagerly, showing a modest smile.
Blue Pikmin (Thomas): I will. Thank you, sir!
The adult Pikmin looked at the child for a few more moments, and then was on his way. Thomas then got up and headed towards his home. When he entered, he was greeted by his brother Arnold, who looked impatient from waiting. He was about to berate his younger brother for being late, when he saw his injuries.
Wild Blue Pikmin (Arnold): Tommy, don't tell me Jake and his jerk-friends did this to you?
His younger brother sadly nodded. Arnold rubbed his eyes.
Wild Blue Pikmin (Arnold): This is third time this week, Tommy! I think we should report this to the Elders, before this gets out of hand.
Blue Pikmin (Thomas): We can't, big brother! The Elders have enough troubles already with the wraith around. Besides, I'm sure Jake and his friends will move on eventually!
Arnold sighed.
Wild Blue Pikmin (Arnold): You know, there is such a thing as being to forgiving, Tommy. Hey, did you remember to get those things I asked you to get?
Blue Pikmin (Thomas): Oh, man! I'm so sorry, Arny, I forgot! I better go get them right now.
He started to rush out when his brother stopped him.
Wild Blue Pikmin (Arnold): I can't let you go out after what Jake did to you! Really, I can get those things tomorrow-
His brother held up a hand.
Blue Pikmin (Thomas): No, I can get them. Don't worry, big brother, I won't go in any alleys or anything, and I'll be back before you know it!
Wild Blue Pikmin (Arnold): Well, I guess it's all right. But…bro?
Blue Pikmin (Thomas): Yeah, Arny?
His older brother put a hand on his shoulder.
Wild Blue Pikmin (Arnold): Just be careful…Okay? I couldn't live with myself if something happened to you…
His little brother pulled him into a big hug. It was something Arnold would remember for the rest of his life.
Blue Pikmin (Thomas): Don't worry, big brother. I'll be careful.
He then rushed out the door. It was the last time that Arnold ever saw his brother kindhearted or gentle again.
……
Three days later
……
For days now, a massive search party has been searching in vain for a young member of their tribe who disappeared three days ago. Every single nook and cranny in the village and the area surrounding the village had been searched extensively. Everyone in the tribe feared the worst. The Pikmin called Jake and his friends had been interrogated for two days, and on third they finally relented and gave the location of where they took the helpless young Pik, Razor Tooth Cave. The single, biggest, darkest, most dangerous cave in all of the Blue Pikmin tribal area. No one, not even the greatest warriors, have ever gone into that cave and lived to tell about it. When the tribe learned this, many went home. Some, led by the missing Pikmin's brother, Arnold, waited at the mouth of the cave in the vain hope that the young Pik made it out.
Wild Blue Pikmin 1: We've been waiting for hours, Arnold. I'm sorry, but there's just no hope that your sweet little brother could have survived Razor Tooth Cave.
Arnold had tears welling up in his eye's and started to turn to leave.
Wild Blue Pikmin 2: Hey, hey! Someone's coming out!
Arnold spun around. His younger brother, in the worst shape Arnold ever saw him in, very literally crawled out of the cave. Arnold rushed to his brother's side.
Wild Blue Pikmin (Arnold): Tommy? Is that you, little brother?
His little brother looked up.
Blue Pikmin (Thomas): Arny…
He then passed out in his arms, and Arnold, sobbing with relief, called for a doctor.
……
One week later
……
Nobody knew it, or even considered it, but most of the people who died going into Razor Tooth Cave took their own lives out of fear and hunger. During his three day trial, Tommy the Blue Pikmin found the bodies of many warrior Piks who apparently fell on their harpoons, so to speak. Growing up in a time of poverty, the young Pikmin was not a stranger to death, but this was the first time he had ever seen a carcass, and the images terrified him for years to come. He also killed his first animal, a dwarf red bulborb, during his time in the cave. Years later, killing animals would become an enjoyable activity for him, but during his first time taking the life of another living creature, we wept. Normally, no matter how desperate, Thomas would never take the life of another creature, but hunger consumed him. Hunger, as many hardened individuals know, can make people do things they normally would never do. Even so, after felling the poor creature, using a large stone as his weapon, the young Pikmin cried over the dwarf bulborb's body. Never the less, he ate the dead animal grudgingly. He found many horrible creatures in the cave, and, using warrior skills he didn't even know he had, defended himself on multiple occasions. This isn't to say he wasn't injured in any of these tussles with the wild animals. He was hurt severely in many of these fights, and when he finally escaped the cave, it took over a week for him to recover. In reality, he never truly recovered from the events in the cave. The once gentle, loving, and forgiving Thomas was forever gone, and in his place was someone hostile, unforgiving, and hateful. The only one in the whole village who was spared Thomas's wrath was the only person in the world he still cared about, his brother Arnold. Jake in his gang, who where now the most least trusted members of their tribe, now no longer terrorized Arnold and Thomas. Instead, Thomas terrorized them. Arnold was watching his brother preparing for another raid of terror on the three older Pikmin who essentially stole his brother's innocence.
Wild Blue Pikmin (Arnold): Your going for another go, huh, brother?
His brother looked up.
Blue Pikmin (Thomas): Yeah. I've been working on this plan I've had, you see I-…What's wrong, Arny?
Wild Blue Pikmin (Arnold): It's just…you've changed so much, Tommy. You used to hate violence. And now, you actually dish it out.
Blue Pikmin (Thomas): Well, kinda makes me sound like a hypocrite when you put it like that. Maybe your right, Arny, I have changed. But where I've gone, I don't think I can go back. But I'm still Tommy, right? I'll always be your little brother, and I promise you that will never change.
Arnold smiled.
Wild Blue Pikmin (Arnold): All I'm saying is don't go overboard, kay?
His younger brother smiled. Many things have changed about his brother, but his soft, gentle, loving smile was still the same, and the smile gave Arnold hope that one day, he would have his younger brother back to the way he used to be.
Blue Pikmin (Thomas): I won't, big brother.
……
A few years later
……
Time passed, and many things happened in a rapid pace. Thomas joined his tribe's military, and quickly earned a fearsome reputation as "Thomas the Typhoon". If asked, Thomas would reply that he thought the nickname sounded stupid. But, of course, no one asked. For awhile, Thomas stopped terrorizing Jake and his friends, for his brother's sake. But when Jake and his friends one day ambushed and put Arnold in the hospital, Thomas's "raids of terror" intensified. One day, he tricked the boys into going into the middle of Dumple Lake. The leader, Jake, while in the lake, was eaten by its namesake. After facing a trial, Thomas was sentenced to exile.
……
Three months later
……
Exiled Pikmin 1: Hey, Thomas, you found the firewood yet?
It had been a few months since the infamous "Tom the Typhoon" was exiled with four other Pikmin. He was fortunate enough to have found a way to keep in touch with his brother, Arnold, but besides that, things couldn't get much worse in his eyes. He and the others were trapped with the Onion that was given to them by the tribe, but with food so rare, they never had enough surplus to make more members. Resources where scarce, and prey was few.
Blue Pikmin: Come on, now. We're out of the tribe, so why disgrace ourselves with those names? I'm just Blue Pikmin, now.
Exiled Pikmin 2: Fine, "Blue Pikmin", can you help me carry this 'pole? He's really squirming- whoa!
The Wogpole he was holding squirmed out of his hands and started to flop around.
Blue Pikmin: Quick, grab it!
They all started to chase the flopping creature around, looking rather ridiculous while doing so. They were so focused on grabbing it, they never noticed that the spider web, which had them trapped in the area that they were, was being broken down by a horde of Pikmin. The five looked up in shock when it broke. When the dust cleared, there stood a swarm of Red, Yellow, Purple, and White Pikmin. The five exiled Blue Pikmin stare for a few seconds, and then saw that two strange creatures, wearing what looked like fish-bowls, started to approach them…
End Flashback
Blue Pikmin opened his eyes.
Red Pikmin: Whoa. Now that's a dramatic life…
Yellow Pikmin: Your life story, it touched my soul in such a way that it erased any silly comment I was about to make…
Louie: Really?
Yellow Pikmin: No. That was a funny story, tell it again!
Blue Pikmin pulverized him.
Wild Yellow Pikmin 1: Yeah, that was a funny story! It made me all happy…
Blue Pikmin turned around and was about to pulverize the Pikmin but stopped.
Ship: Oh, great! Not another wild Pikmin!
Wild Yellow Pikmin 1: A wild Pikmin? You know, I always wanted to see one of those…
The crew starred.
Louie: Dang…This guy's stupid blows Yellow Pikmin's stupid out of the water…
Wild Yellow Pikmin: Oh my good-golly-gosh on a stick with butter! Jamie? Is that you?
Yellow Pikmin: Yep! It is I, the supper handsome and awesome Jamie! Hello, my almost equally handsome, but not quiet as handsome as me, brethren!
Wild Yellow Pikmin: Come on! The village will be delighted to see you!
Yellow Pikmin grabbed his stunned crew and headed off in the same direction the Wild Pikmin came from. Eventually, they found them selves in a place with many high trees and electrical wires. Around them, where many Yellow Pikmin and Yellow Onions.
Louie: Oh…my…gosh…It's happened! I've died and gone to the bad place! A place where hundreds of Yellow Pikmin clones run free!
Olimar: Oh…my…gosh…It's happened! I've died and gone to the good place! A place where I can study a fascinating breed of animal…forever!
Many of the Wild Yellow Pikmin greeted the strangers, when went into histerics when they saw Yellow Pikmin. Many fainted. Many screamed fan-girl screams. Many hit their heads against rocks while sing the lyrics to "Good Times".
Louie: Okay…Why are they all so excited to see us instead of trying to kill us?
A wild Pikmin ran up to them.
Wild Yellow Pikmin 2: I can't believe it! It's Jamie, our tribe's Oracle!
The crew members froze.
Louie: Oracle? Oracle? ORACLE?
The Wild Pikmin nodded.
Wild Yellow Pikmin 2: Yep! He's the wisest, coolest, most observant Pikmin in the whole tribe!
Louie: No, this Yellow Pikmin is crazy, insane, and oblivious.
White Pikmin looked at the wild Pikmin hitting their heads against rocks.
White Pikmin: Uh, Louie? In comparison to the rest of the wild Pikmin here, I'd have to say our Yellow Pikmin is the wisest and most observant Yellow Pikmin here.
Olimar: What does an Oracle do for it's tribe?
Red Pikmin: The Oracle is the Pikmin who tries to give advise to the tribe in the way that the Original Tribe, which was the first Pikmin tribe ever, would have wanted. The Original Tribe, as legend goes, consisted of every type of Pikmin, and broke up, creating all of the worlds Pikmin tribes. In order to become and Oracle, you have to be a descendant of one of the Original Tribe's leaders. That means, if you're an Oracle, you basically have royal blood.
President: But, Pikmin come from Onions, how can he be a descendant of any other Pikmin?
Red Pikmin: Whenever a Pikmin dies, it's soul is recycled by the Onion. When ever an Oracle dies, a series of tests is performed on every newborn Pikmin, to see if they are the reincarnates of the Oracle. In this way, the spirit of the Original Tribe is passed on.
Ship: If Yellow Pikmin is the descendant of one of the Original Tribe's leaders, wouldn't that make him…
The crew stiffened.
Yellow Pikmin: Yep! Besides being super sexy and cool, I'm also royalty!
Purple Pikmin: Well, that would explain why your tribe hasn't tried to kill us yet.
Yellow Pikmin: Oh, and chicks dig me, as well!
Louie: FOR THE LAST TIME, YELLOW PIKMIN, CHICKS DO NOT DIG-
Just then a bunch of female Pikmin appeared.
Female Wild Yellow Pikmin 1: Oh, Jamie, your so hot! Will you date me?
Female Wild Yellow Pikmin 2: Me too!
Female Wild Yellow Pikmin 3: Don't forget me!
The girls began fighting over who would date Yellow Pikmin.
Wogpole: Well, it looks like chicks do dig Yellow Pikmin, wouldn't you say Louie?
Louie: …Just kill me…
Blue Pikmin pulled out his weapons.
Louie: NOT LITTERALY YOU PSYCOPATHIC KAMAKAZIE!
Blue Pikmin: Hey, I am not a psychopathic kamakazie! I'm a very psychopathic kamakazie, thank you very much.
Yellow Pikmin: Well, I'll give you tour of the village.
As Yellow Pikmin walked around, pointing out things, Olimar started to talk.
Olimar: Yellow Pikmin are the least aggressive, yet most sporadic, Pikmin species. These Pikmin have large ears, which aids them in jumping higher than any other Pikmin species. Because they spend so much time in high altitudes, Yellow Pikmin have adapted shock-proof skin. These species of Pikmin, because of their amazing jumping abilities, mostly prey on flying creatures.
They eventually arrived to a giant red crystal, with many Pikmin standing around it, worshiping it.
Yellow Pikmin: …And this is the Crystal of Random Thingies.
Purple Pikmin: …Okay…I don't understand why anyone would worship a crystal…that is, of course, unless it's rock-candy, I would understand if they worshiped that.
Yellow Pikmin: This crystal makes the most random things ever happen.
Just then a light-saber was thrown and nearly killed Red Pikmin. Blue Pikmin caught it.
Blue Pikmin: A light-saber? The most PWN-tacular weapon in all of fandom? Santa must love me!
Purple Pikmin: No he doesn't, don't you remember?
Flashback
Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house, Santa was laying presents, including Yellow Pikmin's blouse.
Santa: Just this last present and I can-
Blue Pikmin: Ahh! A fat man is trying to rob us! Die, fat man!
Santa: No, wait! AHHHH!
End Flashback
Blue Pikmin: Oh yeah, I remember that! Santa was so upset that he filed a restraining order, for life.
Louie: Okay, that was really, really random.
He turned to the screen and knocked on it.
Louie: Hey! Who ever writes this junk, what the heck was that about?
Don't look at me! Some guy threw it through the broken fourth wall. Now stop asking questions and get back to work!
White Pikmin: Hey, by the way, what is a light-saber?
Blue Pikmin: I don't know. I'm just so gifted with weapons that I can tell what their name is and how PWNerific they are just by looking at them.
Red Pikmin: I guess that crystal really make random things happen, Yellow Pikmin.
Yellow Pikmin: Yeah.
White Pikmin: Hey, since you're an Oracle, mind if I ask you a question?
Yellow Pikmin: Nope!
White Pikmin: Okay, how should I live my life?
Yellow Pikmin's eyes glowed white and started to speak in a deep voice.
Yellow Pikmin: The way you live your life is not something that you should let someone else define. You must find your own path of life to follow.
His eyes stopped glowing white.
Yellow Pikmin: I love it when that happens! It makes me feel all cool and stuff.
The crew stared at him in an eye-twitching sort of way. Except the Ship, who didn't have eyes.
Ship: Hey! For your information, I choose not to have eyes!
Louie: No you don't.
Ship: (sniffle) I know…
Wogpole: Hey, how can you sniffle, too? You don't even have a nose.
Ship: Oh, just forget it!
White Pikmin: So, Yellow Pikmin, why did you join our crew?
Yellow Pikmin: Well, it all started on a boring day. Me and a bunch of my friends where climbing a tree, when we saw Olimar and Louie! And so I followed them because I thought it would be fun. And it was! The end.
Ship: That's it? No dramatic life decision that was built up upon a series of tragic life events all colliding together to form the urge to follow a new life?
Yellow Pikmin: Uh, I thought it would be fun. What else could you want besides fun?
Olimar: Science.
President: Money.
Louie: Your demise. Now, as much fun, and if you didn't notice that was sarcasm, as this venture was, I think we should focus on finding the other tribes.
Yellow Pikmin: Sure, and I bet they're much more intresting than my super cool tribe…
Olimar: Louie is right, we have to-…Did you just use sarcasm?
Yellow Pikmin: Yep. You guys use it so much that I decided to give it a try, and I can see why you do it so much! It's so fun!
The crew said their (Blissful) goodbye's to Yellow Pikmin's tribe and once again headed off into the woods.
Olimar: Okay, I've tracked Purple Pikmin's and White Pikmin's to two caves in this region. Purple Pikmin's tribe is located in a relativily shallow cave dubbed the Earth-Worm Labyrinth, and White Pikmin's tribe has been located in a deep cave dubbed the Ant Hill Labyrinth. Both have many intricate tunneling caverns that were made by giant terrestrial animals. Now, whose tribe shall we visit first?
White and Purple Pikmin: His!
Olimar: Well, both are equidistant to us, so we'll go to the Earth-Worm Labyrinth first!
Purple Pikmin: What! Why?
Olimar: Because we want to follow linear order. It makes for sense to go Red, Blue, Yellow, and then Purple and White, than to go Red, Blue Yellow, and then White and Purple. Not only that, being a shallow cave, we'll have a better chance to find life besides Pikmin than in the deep Ant Hill Labyrinth.
Purple Pikmin groaned and White Pikmin sighed in reliefe. So they all headed for the Earth-Worm Labyrinth, the last leg of the race that has followed this crazy day.
To be continued…
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Surprise! It's a trilogy! Now, I used to get at least 8 reviews per new chapter in this fic, but after my extended summer absence, I only get 2 per new chapter! And this fact makes me very sad…… So feel free to feel pity and review! After overlooking previous chapters, I've realized that I've skipped a few Scientific names. To make up for this, I've added them to this chapter.
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Scientific Names
Yellow Pikmin- "Golden Pikmin"
Wogpole- "Amphituber Wollypog"
Yellow Wollypog- "Ampituber Wollypog" (No, it's not a typo. They have the same scientific names)
Wollypog- "Albino Ampituber"