Hi guys! Wow there are so many followers! I don't know how to thank you! Unfortunately I don't know if from now on I can continue to write with a certain regularity, because soon I will start an internship, but I will do my best :) I hope you enjoy the chapter!

7. Desire

The first thing I saw when I opened my eyes was the ceiling of my room, and my first thought was: fuck...I wouldn't have been able to sleep better. I didn't feel neither tired nor exhausted, my body was relaxed and well rested; I sat up and stretched; it was really a great feeling and it was amazing that I felt that good in spite of what had happened the night before...and yet it seemed already a memory so far...Ne'veah, it had been Ne'veah with that sound to make me fall asleep; obviously I didn't find him still in bed, probably he was already at work on the ship. He had saved me...he was so strong...I looked at the clock and saw that it was still early enough, I had plenty of time to call Samantha and tell her that I wouldn't be coming to work; maybe she would have reproached me, but after what I had suffered it was the minor concern. I was still in bra and with the rest of my work clothes, so I went to the bathroom to wash my face and change me with something more comfortable.

No matter how the water was cold, my body continued to burn of energy, excitement, while my mind put aside the bad memories and continued to bring out the sensations of the night: my face against his warm chest, the rhythm of his heart and his breathing...fuck...maybe I needed ice to quench my hot spirits! I opened the drawer to take a pair of jeans and a T-shirt; I had kept in the top drawer the necklace Ne'veah had given me and at first I thought to wear it, but in the end I changed my mind; I tied my hair and went downstairs; almost I stumbled when I saw Ne'veah sitting at the kitchen table with my laptop in front of him. Honestly I wasn't surprised that he knew to use it, their technology was at least a hundred times more evolved than ours; I walked over and noticed that some wires were connected from the PC directly to the device to his left arm; only when I got even closer, I realized another particular: although he was always shirtless, usually he wore some pieces of his armor on his arms and legs; but now, except for that device and his loincloth, he wasn't wearing anything else; I blushed slightly, well...the morning was going always better! When he turned to me, I greeted him with the best of my smiles

"Good morning" I was about to ask him what he was doing when he rose from the chair, pulling the wires from the computer, and came towards me, holding up a hand; I was speechless when he put his hand on my head and gently stroked it, asking me

"How do you feel?"

"!...err, I'm fine; what are you doing?" I asked, still marveling by his behavior

"Research" he sat down again; I sat beside him and looked at the computer screen; what I saw left me a little surprise: there were articles about the behavior and human psychology, some spoke of feelings or reactions to particular situations, and even articles on "how to comfort a friend"; I looked at him with a questioning look

"I don't know the human reactions in their environment, the situation of the previous night took me by surprise, I found it necessary to collect and archive some information" probably he was referring to the way I acted; I touched my head, thinking that perhaps he had read somewhere that this gesture could make me feel better

"Would you like something to eat?" I asked, he nodded without looking away from the screen and accumulating more data. I prepared pancakes, along with bacon and eggs, and while they were cooking I kept looking Ne'veah; damn...

"Thank you for what you did" I said "apparently now I'm indebted to you"

"You saved my life and hosted in your home, it was my duty to help" but his tone quickly became a growl; I stared at him in alarm, he began to speak "in our species the females know how to defend themselves; although usually it's natural for the males develop a protective instinct towards our temporary mate and our children, a female can be strong enough to kill a warrior; but even if they were weak, no male would dare to force her to mate, it would be considered an extremely dishonorable act and punishable by death" Ne'veah growled again before continuing "the human constitution is extremely fragile, and if the human female isn't trained to fight, I doubt that she can overpower a male, and take advantage of something like this to force the coupling is just disgusting"

I looked at his mandibles clicked frantically; aww, he was so cute!

"I think Mark would be considered very lucky to still be alive, thanks for listening to me"

"I refuse to have the head of a coward as a trophy, not even one of our children would have begged to that way of facing death, that Ooman was really a suckling" that statement made me smile. Breakfast was ready and we began to eat in silence; I was reflecting on what he had told me and I still had some questions for him, but I was afraid to hear the answers...maybe it was better to start with something less challenging

"That sound you made for make me fall asleep..." he looked at me and purred "exactly, that...why did you..."

"It was the only solution that came to mind to calm you down and it worked, even if..." I was surprised when I saw his expression, it was the first time I saw him smile "...we generally use that sound to calm infants when they cry or to court a female" his mandibles clicked frantically, he seemed really amused to see my expression of surprise and embarrassment; it passed a few minutes of embarrassing silence (for me of course) before I started to ask

"What do you mean by temporary mate?"

"From what I remember, you Oomans prefer to choose just one partner for the rest of your existence; for us it isn't so, is not excluded that could happen, but we prefer to have several mates with which to have children so as to extend our lineage"

I was about to ask him if this conduct might cause jealousy or anger, but I changed my mind; they weren't human, they didn't prove such feelings; in any case his response wasn't in my favor; why I continued to insist! It couldn't work between us in any way! Yet I continued to ask questions, to torture me, hoping to find that answer that would have given me a faint possibility, or would have denied any other occasion; it was the moment of truth

"So...you've had several mates and many children" his expression hardened, I immediately wondered if I had made the wrong question

"I'm still a young hunter, until now I have had only one mate"

"Oh" come on, now or never "well, I guess now she'll be waiting for you, or maybe your sons..."
"She died before we could have one"

The fork fell from my hand; I looked Ne'veah straight into his eyes, I was shocked to say the least
"I-I...I'm sorry, I didn't want..." if I wanted an answer I had found it, but it wasn't what I expected; and in any case I realized that it was useless: probably even though he had told me that he had a harem of females my feelings for him wouldn't be changed; it was so absurd...be in love with an alien...His hand stroked again my head and interrupted my thoughts; now his expression seemed calmer

"Our race is accustomed to dealing with death every day, looking for bigger and bigger challenges; the risk of dying during the hunt is always high, and not necessarily only the males remain involved in disputes or fights; so when one of us dies we aren't particularly upset, but we think that our companion has fought with honor and Paya will take his soul" he bit into the last piece of meat and stood up, heading for the door. Instinctively I ran after him and I touched his arm, drawing his attention; actually I didn't know what to tell him, nor if it was the right time to do it, after what he had told me; but I didn't want it to end here, I didn't want to live with the regret of having let him go without saying anything; but...I was so nervous...

"Ne'veah...I-I..." I looked down embarrassed, unable to continue...continue what? Really I was going to tell him what I was thinking? I...felt a strange sensation on my face; Ne'veah patted my cheek just a second, then quickly withdrew his hand; at first I thought that he had read somewhere that the gesture was comforting, but when I looked up I was a little perplexed: his expression looked surprised, as if his touch wasn't intentional; he looked at his hand just a second

"...I go fix my ship" and left the house without another word.

The next few days were a living hell; the work was always the same, but to me it seemed ten times worse; after a couple of days Claire came back to apologize to me for her behavior and had also reported that Mark had made demanded to move to another office; but this certainly didn't improve my mood. I was nervous, agitated, restless; my thought was just one: I wanted him, I wanted him, I wanted him...I was seriously worried; Ne'veah and I didn't know for a long time, and yet I had never felt a feeling so strong towards someone, both emotional...and physical; yes, I wanted him also physically; but if one side my heart was telling me to at least try to confess my feelings before it's too late, my head was screaming "it can't work, forget it, you'd get only a terrible disappointment"; and then I felt like shit thinking that while I mulled over all this, he had lost a mate; but if he went away...if he didn't return...only to that thought I felt tears in my eyes

"Jessica? Are...are you ok?" Claire looked at me worried, then looked at my lunch "lately you're not eating a lot...if...if I tell you..." since we started talking again, Claire was afraid to say something that would offend me; I had already realized that she didn't want to make other mistakes
"You know, maybe you were right Claire" I said with a half smile "I really need sex" unfortunately I couldn't tell her that the only person I wanted was an alien from another world.

I went home quite tired and with a compelling desire to sleep; when he saw me, Ne'veah came out of the pool and bowed his head to greet me; we went inside and very slowly I began to prepare dinner, as he sat at the kitchen table; I just started taking the meat from the fridge when I heard his voice
"I have good news, the repair of the ship is almost finished; soon, no later than one week, I should be able to leave"

The world stopped spinning in that instant; I knew this day would come, but for me it was still too early; there was no time, there was no time...I had to choose now; my heart quickened terribly the beats, while I closed the fridge and slowly turned toward him

"We need to talk" I said, the classic phrase that signaled a serious talk, but it was the only thing that occurred to me to begin; he looked at me puzzled, it was impossible for me to hide my nervousness "Ne'veah...you taught me a lot about your culture, and how different it is from the human one... " I started say, approaching him; and the closer I got, the more my body was burning with excitement "in particular, you made me realize that the emotions we feel aren't the same; I...I tried in every way to live with this, but I didn't succeed" I put my hand on his and that contact caused me a thrill "you probably will not be able to understand what I'm about to tell you but..." but I remembered what he had told me, on their way to mate; even if he refused my feelings...

"Ne'veah..."

...nothing could prevent me to propose myself as a mate

"I lov..."

I hadn't the time to finish the sentence; Ne'veah rose abruptly, and the chair toppled to the ground with a loud thud, scaring me; he broke the contact between us and stepped back

"Stay away from me"

...What?