Misleading Covers - Books or Booking It

"So what have you been doing?" Minako asked, having transformed back and carrying Luna.

"Well, after we left England we spent the next four years moving from temple to temple, along with every martial arts training ground we could find," Ranma explained.

"So your father is a devout Buddhist?" Luna asked curiously, making the three laugh.

"Nah," Ranma said once he'd recovered. "Pops had us staying in temples because it was cheap and I could pay our room and board by doing chores. I didn't mind so much, because they were always happy to teach me and I rarely made it to an actual school."

"Education is important," Luna told him.

"Don't I know it," Ranma said shaking his head. "Pretending to be uneducated may have saved my life, but actually being uneducated would have gotten me killed many times over."

"Now that sounds like a story!" Artemis said.

"It is," Ranma promised. "And one that would be impossible to believe unless you knew magic existed."

"Surely it couldn't be that bad?" Luna complained.

Artemis and Minako started laughing.

"What?" Luna asked.

"The amount of trouble my father managed to get me into is nothing short of amazing. I've visited places right out of legend and fought things I thought were nothing more than myths," Ranma said shaking his head.

"Name one legendary being you've fought," Luna said.

"The eight-headed dragon," Ranma said bluntly. "I use one of its whiskers as a hair tie."

"Have Ami scan it later if you need proof," Minako suggested, "but you really had to see the trouble he got up to in England to believe it."

"The werewolves?" Artemis asked.

"I was thinking of the Swanee actually," Minako smirked.

"Pops got me a job in animal control," Ranma explained.

*Flashback*

Genma laid a large stack of bills on the counter. "Simple bet, my boy can do any of your jobs for a day."

The three animal control officers grinned.

"Physical part, not paperwork," Genma added.

Arnold, the one wearing a khaki uniform that looked freshly pressed nodded. "And a day is 24 hours."

"Deal!" Genma spit on his palm and held out his hand.

Dave stuck his lit cigarette in his ear and spit on his palm before clasping hands with the portly martial artist, his other hand holding a lager. "Deal!"

Wiping his hand on his unwashed and heavily stained uniform, Dave pulled out his wallet and dug out a third of the cash.

Jules, who had not only pressed his outfit, but had also had it hand tailored and modified to suit his tastes (IE. Sharp enough to pick up women with) pulled out a third and dropped it on the counter.

Arnold dug out a small coin purse that actually creaked as he opened it. Rather than wait through the long torturous process of getting money from the rock that was their superior, Dave and Jules both dug out the cash to cover for him.

*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*

"And of course things are never that simple when Genma Saotome gets involved."

"Werewolves don't exist," Luna complained. "And I've never even heard of a Swanee."

"I almost got a chunk taken out of my thigh by something that doesn't exit then," Minako growled.

"The swanee were my fault," Artemis admitted. "They looked like dinner for four with lots of leftovers to this Mau!"

Ranma nodded. "I know my feline instincts were saying them same thing."

"That's why you two were drooling?!" Minako exclaimed.

"Of course," Ranma and Artemis chorused.

"Would someone please tell me what you guys are talking about?" Luna demanded.

OK, picture this," Ranma said. "A twelve year old boy is given a temporary job as a dog catcher, due to his father betting he could handle their job."

"Naturally he was given the toughest jobs," Artemis smirked.

"Pops bet them a lot of money," Ranma explained. "So of course they tried to get me to quit by having me scrape up dead animals off the roadways. They figured the gross out factor would get me."

"It would have gotten me," Minako admitted.

"It was pretty bad," Ranma admitted. "Of course when that failed they tried scaring me off by sending me on the jobs they generally turned over to conservation and land management."

"You're kidding?" Luna asked.

"Nope." Ranma shook his head. "They started small with rabid dogs and worked their way up to what they thought was a pack of wild dogs in a bird sanctuary."

"Artemis volunteered us to help on that one," Minako said shaking her head.

"Ranma had helped us night after night," Artemis pointed out. "It was only fair that we helped him."

"And if you ate a bird or two in the process, so what?" Minako said.

"Exactly!" Artemis said. "Err, I mean-"

"To be fair, he was a big help in finding the 'wild dogs'," Ranma said.

"It was a romantic scene," Minako said with a grin. "It was a full moon, and we were the only humans within miles."

"I even had a picnic basket packed so we could have lunch and fool around a little bit," Ranma said.

"Fool around!?" Luna screeched. "You were twelve!"

"Exactly," Minako agreed. "Kissing, cuddling and a little groping, nothing inappropriate for our age."

"When I was twelve-" Luna began.

"I remember when we were twelve," Artemis interrupted and Luna quickly shut up.

After a moment of silence when it became obvious that Luna wasn't going to say anything more Ranma continued. "The first three wild dogs were easy to catch."

"Venus' love me chain came in real handy," Minako said.

"After we had three captured, the free ones got really nervous, like they knew what was going on," Ranma said.

"I got another two locked in cages while Minako went after the last one."

"It transformed and almost took a chunk out of my inner thigh," Minako said. "Damn thing was playing dead."

"And then when we finally get them all caged up and Minako's wound bandaged…" Ranma grinned.

"Artemis runs past being chased by a combination of swans and naked women," Minako said. "I was a bit upset," Minako admitted.

"She beat the hell out of them," Artemis translated.

"I was pissed about getting hit, they were attacking my magical companion…" Minako cleared her throat. "Ranma was drooling…"

Ranma waved it off. "I was drooling over the amount of meat these birds had not the boobs."

"Well I didn't know that at the time," Minako said. "So I decided to…" She blushed.

"What?" Luna asked.

"We got the wolves back to the pound and Minako locked me outside," Artemis said. "I thought she did it because she was pissed about the swan women."

"Nope I had an ulterior motive," Minako grinned.

"Wearing a t-shirt and the tiniest pair of panties she owned she said since it was my fault she was bleeding I should kiss it better," Ranma explained.

"And in busts Mr. Aino who'd been listening at the door," Artemis said. "And he sees Ranma with blood on his lips and his daughter in just a t-shirt with Ranma on his knees between her legs."

"I knitted the panties out of dental floss," Minako admitted.

"And that's why he wanted to kill you?" Luna said trying not to laugh.

"There was a lot of yelling, property damage, and dodging," Artemis said, "before her Mom got home and straightened everything out."

"And that was the last time you saw each other?" Luna asked.

"Hell no," Ranma snorted. "I was around for several months after that."

The exchanged glances and burst out laughing.

Typing by: Bankrupt Samurai!