A/N:Here we go with another update, a chapter that had me angsting nearly as much as Mitchell is capable of. I've only coped because of the support of my awesome girlfriend that helped me figure out what I really wanted to do with this chapter and the rest of them (she just doesn't realize how helpful she is to me but she can actually get me out of my writer's block), that of my beautiful friends Heather and Mari, and the amazing comments that some people left me. I swear I was ready to give up on all of this because I definitely didn't feel like it was good enough, and maybe it really isn't but I'm still trying, because I'm really fond of this universe I've created and of this pairing and yeah... I just really wanted to thank you all for being the amazing readers that you are, some of you say that are my 'fans' but I don't really believe it because it's such a big word! But really, thank you for being awesome and supportive and just taking the time to read this story.

Hope you'll enjoy this chapter, because something that has never happened between Anders and Mitchell will go down.

PS: I'm fairly sure that the next chapter might definitely be the last.

Don't speak, no use for words
lie in my arms, sleep secure.
I wonder what you're dreaming of,
lands rare and far
A timeless flight to reach the stars.
A lifetime full of words to say,
a hope that time will slow the passing day.

I've been wrong, time's over
and I've been shamed with no words to find.
But if the sun will rise, bring us tomorrow,
walk with me.

Crimson day ; Avenged Sevenfold.

Anders watched as Mitchell sobbed uncontrollably, all covered up in blood, bruises and wounds, he would have wanted to do something, say something, but he was completely frozen in a state of shock. After nearly two months Anders had pretty much given up on their relationship, he was sure that he wasn't going to see Mitchell ever again.

"I wish I could hate you, it'd be so much easier to erase you from my fucking life then," Anders flared his nostrils as he stared at the vampire. He could feel the knot starting to clutch his throat, but he definitely wasn't going to cry, not this time, not again.

Mitchell looked up at him, unable to stop his tears and the shuddering of his body, sorrow and pain taking the best of him "I shouldn't have come here," he gulped and gritted his teeth as he looked down at the floor again, ashamed.

"What the fuck have you done, Mitchell?" Anders snarled shook his head "Gaia told me what happened, why the fuck are you killing again?"

Mitchell screwed his eyes shut and rested back against the wall behind him "Because I'm a fucking idiot, that's why," he sniffled and licked his lips, a hollow smile tugging at the corners of his mouth.

Anders scoffed "Yeah, I know you are," he grimaced. He wanted to be angry with him for leaving him, for joining the Auckland vampires, but he just loved him too much. "You fucking asshole, who did this to you?" he growled as he walked up to him.

Mitchell sniffled, then swallowed thickly as he tightened the torn jacket around his body "I wanted out and this is what I got," he chuckled briefly through the tears then nearly bent double for the pain.

"Jesus, John!" Anders cried as he placed his hands on Mitchell's shoulders, causing him to squirm under his touch.

"C-careful! I just popped a shoulder back in its socket," the vampire growled softly.

Anders moved his hands away from Mitchell's shoulders and gripped at his jacket "Fuck..." he breathed out as he let his eyes fall shut for a moment "Just get in, already," Anders shook his head slightly as he helped him get inside the apartment.

By the time that Anders helped Mitchell peel off his jacket the vampire could barely stand, whimpering as Anders brushed a blood crusted lock away from his brow. Anders frowned as he spotted the deep cut running along Mitchell's eyebrow.

"I got you," Anders spoke softly and Mitchell choked back a sob, nodding with his eyes shut.

Anders gently steered Mitchell in the direction of the bathroom, still forcing himself to be strong even if the sight of Mitchell shaking from pain and exhaustion was pushing him on the edge of a breakdown. Anders undressed him carefully and the more clothes were removed the more bruises and wounds were exposed. It took Anders an enormous dose of self-control and bravery to not faint or throw up on the spot, the blood was just so much it made him dizzy and nauseous. Anders didn't do well with blood and injuries, but he nonetheless helped Mitchell to sit onto the toilet so that he could him up with the aid of a couple water soaked towels.

Anders didn't need to ask Mitchell if he wanted to go to the hospital because he already knew the answer, in fact they didn't need to speak at all, the god and the vampire actually had an entire conversation through gestures and looks.

Mitchell was staring at Anders throughout the entire ordeal, guilt painted his face and way too often pain would wrinkle his features. He was ashamed of what he had done during those two months, he had done everything he had promised Anders and himself never to do again. He had killed people without mercy, fed on their blood in hope to erase all his memory but it had never worked. He was regretting coming all the way to Anders', he had had no right to do so, but his heart had guided his feet and Anders was the only person that could truly understand him.

Anders was mostly focusing on cleaning the wounds and ignoring the smell of blood, trying to apply the right pressure and doing his best to not hurt Mitchell more than necessary, but when he looked into Mitchell's eyes Anders felt just as horrible as the vampire did. Yes, Anders had suffered when Mitchell had left him, but he had felt guilty for cheating and for keeping things from him. But it wasn't just the guilt that made Anders feel terrible, it killed him to see Mitchell full of injuries, his healing factor had definitely slowed down, if it hadn't completely stopped, just like it had happened when he had broken his arm months before. He could tell that Mitchell had lost lots of blood, some cuts looked really deep and nasty, and they looked like they could definitely get infected and potentially dangerous. Anders didn't know if the wounds could actually kill Mitchell, but maybe bleeding out would, so he definitely needed to stop the bleeding and try to close up the cuts as much as he could... Even if Anders had never done anything like that before and it was definitely freaking him out, no matter how calm he tried to appear on the outside.

"I have to patch you up, it'll be easier if you lie in bed. Let's go," was the first thing that Anders said after what felt like years of silence. His voice was calm, it did break slightly towards the last couple of words but Mitchell didn't seem to notice as he was all caught up in his own little world.

Mitchell didn't move, partly because he was too weak, partly because he just wanted to disappear. "I'm sorry..." he mumbled, looking down at the blood stained clothes and towels that were lying no the floor.

Anders frowned and gently pushed Mitchell's curls back "I am, too," he admitted with a nod of the head "but you can't sleep in the bathroom, so get up."

Mitchell looked up at Anders with his bruised, ripped up eyebrow unable to furrow "I had no right to come here, not after two months. Not after what I said."

Anders rolled his eyes "Shut it, okay? I've been worried sick, I was gonna come looking for you myself."

Mitchell narrowed his eyes at Anders "What? Worried?" he blinked, confused "You didn't know where I was, nor that something–" then he stopped, jaw dropping slightly and eyes widening as he remembered Anders' words from before "Gaia told you." he hadn't given it much thought earlier because the pain had nearly blanked his mind, but now he was jumping to conclusions already, his expression changing from pained to furious in a matter of moments "She slept with you after what she told me?" he growled lowly "That littl-" he didn't even get to keep going because of the excruciating pain piercing through his stomach that made him groan loudly.

Anders didn't even have time to tell him that no, he and Gaia hadn't slept together again because Mitchell was bent double on the toilet "Fuck, John!" Anders cringed and didn't know where to put his hands, too afraid to hurt him more "What is it? What hurts so much?"

Mitchell responded by coughing up some of his own blood "Internal bleeding, I guess?"

Anders widened his eyes so much that Mitchell was surprised they didn't pop out of their sockets "What the fuck do you mean you guess?" he didn't even care that it was ridiculously late at night as his voice turned way too loud and high pitched.

Mitchell had both arms looped around himself as he slightly rocked back and forth "It means that I don't know exactly if I am, but I've been kicked pretty hard in the stomach so–" he tightened his lips together and screwed his eyes shut as another awful cramp hit him "S-so something might have broken." he finished in a hushed voice.

Anders scoffed and shook his head "This is mental, come on, get up I'm taking you to the hospital," he said as he offered Mitchell his hands to help him up.

Mitchell stared up at him like he had lost his mind and shook his head "Fuck no, there are vampires I know there!"

Anders groaned in frustration "I'm taking you to a different hospital!"

But Mitchell was stubborn enough to shake his head again "No, fuck it. Too dangerous, I'm technically a walking and talking corpse!" he paused to let out another low moan of pain.

"Well you're gonna be a full-time corpse if you don't get medical attention!" Anders cried as he bent over to take Mitchell's hands in his "Stand the fuck up!"

"Don't yell at me!" Mitchell groaned as he glared up at Anders.

"You yelled at me too, when you left me!" Anders didn't even realize the words had left his lips, but he didn't exactly regret them. Anders might have been worried sick about Mitchell, but the vampire had still broken his heart.

Mitchell froze, he opened and closed his mouth as his weary, severely injured body still shook, and for a moment he didn't know what to say. He had suffered too, all those months and all that time before, things had been so rough and horrible but they were both to blame for many different reasons. As Mitchell stood up blood was still lazily oozing out of the few deepest wounds but he didn't care. "You know I never meant to, especially not when you were so shocked," he licked his lips as he considered picking up his dirty clothes from the floor "I'll get out of your face again."

Anders scoffed and kept Mitchell from bending over by grabbing one of his arms "Don't be a fucking idiot, I never said you had to leave."

Mitchell raised an eyebrow "Well you did say it when I left you, two months ago!" he mocked him as he still tried to pick up his clothes but his head spun and legs gave out causing him to collapse against Anders.

"Jesus!" Anders managed to keep them both steady as Mitchell groaned lowly in his arms. "Fuck, I'll... I need to take you to Michele!"

Mitchell gripped tightly at Anders shirt, eyes squeezed shut as he shook his head "No, I can't move anymore... Just– just help me lie down, yeah?"

Anders let out a choked sob "Don't you fucking dare die on me, John! I swear to God!"

Mitchell's knees threatened to give out again "Can't promise you anything," he cried softly.

"Fuck your negativity, man!" Anders growled as he carefully helped him reach the bed, and lie down. He still had to patch Mitchell up, he couldn't leave him like that, but when he looked at the vampire curl up on himself, whining in pain he couldn't even move for some moments as he realized that this looked too much like one of either his or Mitchell's nightmares.

He couldn't linger in his thoughts, though, he needed to move and help Mitchell before he'd bleed out on that very bed. Anders shook his head and quickly went to grab everything useful he could find: disinfectant, bandages, plasters, anything really. He swallowed thickly as he looked at the improvised first-aid kit in his hands and prayed to whatever deity that Mitchell could be alright again.

"John," Anders placed a hand on Mitchell's arm, it was colder than ever and it scared him even more "John, c'mon, lie on your back," he squeezed the stone-cold flesh in his hand and Mitchell looked up at him with heavy-lidded eyes.

"I-I don't-" Mitchell made a face "Anders, I don't know if I can make it through tonight..." he gulped "I'm sorry," his voice broke and a sob escaped his throat. Maybe he was exaggerating, he wanted to die more than it was actually possible for him to die in that way, but he was pretty sure that the exsanguination of a body unable to produce blood for itself was definitely bad news. His healing factor wasn't working due to the extensive blood loss and the ridiculous amount of external and internal injuries, maybe it wasn't a stake to the heart, a broken spine or a werewolf attack, but he surely wasn't going to be alright soon.

Anders widened his eyes and shook his head, dropping everything he was holding on the nightstand "Piss off, you're not gonna die, I won't let you." his eyes scanned the room quickly to localize his cellphone, and once he did he grabbed it "I'm calling Michele, I'll tell her to bring the stick."

Mitchell huffed, then coughed violently and tasted his own blood in his mouth again "No, Anders. I don't think the stick can save me. I'm a vampire, we don't work like everyone else." he pulled a face as he spoke, his hands were clutching at his stomach in a desperate tentative to stop the ache.

Anders froze as his brain began to compute what was the only thing that could have truly saved Mitchell, the one thing that was going to give him all his power and strength back. The answer was simple: blood. Mitchell needed to feed and quickly, it was the only way to get his healing factor to work again. Anders swallowed thickly as he looked down at the agonizing vampire, he had already offered his blood to him a few times before, during the horrible withdrawals Mitchell used to get at night, but the vampire had always refused, telling him that it was too dangerous. Anders used to have more faith in himself back then, less scared of what could have actually happened if Mitchell had tried feeding from him, but now the situation was different, Mitchell's body was nearly drained of all its blood, maybe Mitchell would have needed to drink Anders dry. But time was ticking, and Mitchell's moans were bringing Anders back to reality, he sucked in a deep, shuddering breath as he gathered up all his courage and made his decision.

"This is the only thing that will save you and you know it," Anders balled his hand into a fist and offered his wrist to Mitchell "Don't be a dipshit and drink."

Mitchell stared up at him confused at first, not really understanding what was going on. God, Anders was going at it again, the last time that he had offered him his blood Mitchell had told him that he didn't even want to hear about it again, but apparently the message hadn't gone through. "Don't even start, Anders! You know that I'm not gonna feed from you!" Mitchell groaned "I'd kill you, you idiot!" he shook his head "No, fuck it. I'd rather die than do this!"

Anders kneeled on the bed, completely ignoring Mitchell's protests as he tried to convince both the vampire and himself. He could do this, he really wanted someone to believe that he was worth something, that he was able to do some good and not mess things up as he usually did. "My power got stronger, I'm sure I can stop you. Plus you said that because you love me it's easier for you to control yourself! So do it," then he scowled before adding "because... You still love me, right?" he clenched his jaw as he waited for an answer.

Mitchell flared his nostrils "It's because I love you that I don't wanna do this."

Anders' expression softened as he let out a relieved sigh "Well you need to trust me. I can help you and I can stop you," he nodded "have faith in me."

Mitchell shook his head for the millionth time, he was on the verge of tears again. He did need the blood, he knew that it was the only thing that would save him, but he couldn't do it, he couldn't feed from Anders. "Anders, I've gone against all my principles and morals in the past two months," he shook his head "I can't go against this one, I won't feed from the person I love and I won't kill them. I've told you times and times again that I'm ready to die to protect you."

Anders listened to him attentively, understanding perfectly his reasons. He knew way too well how hard it was for Mitchell to keep his instincts at bay, how much energy it took him to be human and not a beast, but Anders knew that he could make him snap out of it. "I know perfectly what you've done, but I also know that you wouldn't have really wanted to do it in the first place," he started as he cupped Mitchell's cheek and began to thumb at his cheekbone slowly but steadily "You've suffered because I'm a dick, you've suffered because you killed all those people and now the nightmares are worse and more."

Mitchell didn't say anything, he closed his eyes every now and then to enjoy the familiar, warm touch of Anders' hand. God he had missed his scent and his soft hands even more than he had ever missed blood, the sound of his voice, the way words rolled off his tongue in his Kiwi accent nearly made him want to cry all over again.

"Just this once," Anders thumb reached Mitchell's lips, tracing the upper one softly as he cocked his head.

Mitchell opened his eyes and stared pointedly at Anders "I'll kill you," he repeated for the millionth time "there's no way you'll make me stop once I've started feeding!" he dared speaking a bit louder, but it caused him to groan in pain.

Anders wanted to punch something, the stubbornness of that vampire! "Of all people I thought you should have been the one to have faith in me! No one ever fucking believes in me, not even my–" he was going to say boyfriend, but he bit his tongue – they weren't together anymore, after all "Not even you."

Mitchell looked at the pained expression painting Anders' features, how his eyes were flooded with sorrow "What were you gonna say?"

Anders huffed, looking away "Don't change topic, Mitchell."

The vampire scowled at the choice of name, then looked down at the underside of Anders' wrist. The veins looked almost green under the thin, pale skin and if Mitchell concentrated enough he could hear the blood rushing through them – that blood that he had never smelled nor craved. Mitchell wanted to believe in Anders, wanted to have faith in his ability and power to stop him only with his words, but the risk was too high. "You should let me go," Mitchell sighed "I deserve to die, anyway," his last words were hushed and resigned.

Anders didn't know what kept him from hitting that angsty vampire with all of his strength "If I hear more bullshit coming out of your mouth I swear to God that I'll punch you," he threatened with a snarl "You have never let me go, so I won't either. Now stop being a fucking pussy and suck my blood!"

Mitchell swallowed thickly, ignoring the persistent ache deep in his gut – he was still pretty sure that his spleen or another organ had ruptured from the beating – then looked up into Anders' determination-filled eyes, wishing that tears weren't starting to pool in the corner of his own "Please, stop me." he begged in a shuddering voice.

"I will," Anders nodded firmly, then shifted to sit with his back pressed against the bedpost. He wished his heart wasn't hammering in his ears like that, he'd been so confident but now that Mitchell had pretty much accepted to feed from him he was about to wet himself from fear. Anders kept telling himself that Mitchell wasn't going to kill him, and if things got out of control he was still Bragi and he had never been more powerful than he was now, he could do this.

Mitchell held Anders' hand, lacing their fingers together as he placed a shallow kiss on the underside of Anders' wrist "It's gonna hurt, I'm so sorry," he screwed his eyes up as he still hesitated doing what he was supposed to. That was too much for him, it was so much worse than killing people to quench his thirst for blood, it was hurting the man he loved, it was risking to kill him.

"I love you, John," Anders knew that those were the most encouraging and reassuring words he could speak to the brunet, and even if he had seen Mitchell's eyes flicker black he was still taken aback when two sharp fangs sunk just a few inches away from the crook of his elbow. He groaned in pain but didn't look away, his eyes glued to how Mitchell's full lips were latched on his forearm, and the last thing he expected was... Feeling aroused.

It was insane, the way in which Anders felt lust pooling lazily in the pit of his stomach, his cock stirring inside his sweatpants as he felt his blood flowing from his veins right into Mitchell's mouth. He could remember Mitchell telling him – in the rare occasions in which he had succeeded in getting him to talk about vampirism – how feeding and sex went incredibly well together, and how drinking blood felt as good as having an orgasm. Well, he didn't know if the victim was supposed to feel as good as the vampire, but in that moment Anders would have wanted to curl his fingers around Mitchell's hair, tug sharply on it until his head was pulled back and then kiss the air out of his lungs, tasting his own blood in Mitchell's mouth. He would have wanted Mitchell to claim him after all that time, he would have wanted him to sink his fangs into his hips, his neck, his thighs. Maybe that was really the thing that made him so aroused about the whole situation: the intimacy of the moment and the possessiveness of the act. Either way his mind was too clouded to care and worry, the weariness of being fed on was definitely taking the best of him.

Mitchell was in utter and complete ecstasy, he had often wondered what a god's blood would have tasted like and now that he had his mouth full of it he could have come undone right there and then. It was somewhat thicker than human blood and it curiously tasted sweeter than anything he had ever tasted before, it was rich, warm, it smelled and tasted deliciously and it was already giving him back most of his energy and triggering his healing factor to work. The best part, though, what definitely couldn't compare, was that it only took a few, large sips for Mitchell to feel completely full and sated and Anders didn't need to stop him because he did it on his own. When he pulled away from Anders' arm a few moments after biting him, with a soft satisfied and pleased moan, he met Anders' hooded eyes and snapped back to reality right away.

"Fuck! Are you okay, Anders?" Mitchell quickly went to cup Anders' face with both hands, pupils shrinking to their regular size.

Anders felt weak, of course, but not too much weaker than a blood donor, though definitely more aroused and pleased than a blood donor. He arched a brow at the sight of his own blood covering Mitchell's lips and teeth "Fuck, that was intense," he said and actually had the nerve to grin.

"Shut up, I did a terrible thing," Mitchell's cheek flushed slightly as guilt hit him suddenly like a train. He could already feel all his wounds starting to heal, but the first thing he did was treat the bite on Anders' forearm, bandaging it tightly to make sure it'd heal quickly.

Anders watched him with a dopey smirk all the while, finding the vampire's concerned expression both endearing and sexy – God, why was he still so horny? "I can't believe the fuss you've always made over this," he huffed amused "I'm still alive, see?" trust Anders Johnson to turn everything into a joke, even about something serious and dangerous like that, even if he had put his life on the line. After all, he was supposed to be strong for Mitchell in that moment, wasn't he? He still had to play cool and not scare him more than necessary.

Mitchell flared his nostrils as he stood up, wiping the blood from his lips as he searched Anders' drawers for a shirt to pull on "This isn't a game, Anders," he looked down at the blood staining the sheets and began to tug at them frantically with shaky fingers. He knew that it was his own blood, but it made him panic because if things had gone wrong, it could have been Anders' "We need to take these off, and you... You need to rest and maybe eat something," he wasn't looking at Anders, he was too ashamed to do so.

Mitchell had failed again, because apparently there was just nothing he could do right. He had broken his number one rule, the most important one: never hurt the ones you love. He could still feel Anders' heartbeat in his ears, still taste his blood on his tongue and his lips still tingled with the sensation of veins pulsating against them. He was so ashamed of himself, of having risked Anders' life just to save his, he felt selfish and so damn weak for not being able to fend for himself and deal with his own crap. The worst part was that he had liked to finally drink from the person he loved, he had enjoyed that feeling of closeness that was pretty much like that of sex. If he thought back on those days in which he had wanted to mark and claim Anders like no one else had ever done before... Well, he had done it, at last.

Mitchell should have been happy that things had turned out to be just fine, but he still couldn't quite wrap his head around it, he still couldn't grasp the good in that monstrous act and all he felt was guilt and shame mixed with all the built up anxiety from earlier.

Anders sucked in a deep breath, and despite his weariness he pushed himself up on his knees to catch Mitchell's arm and tug on it "Are you done freaking out?" Mitchell looked at him wide eyed "Alright, it hurt a bit and I'm very... Very tired now, but I'm fine and you're fine!" well, he didn't mention the stiffness in the crotch of his pants, but he was trying really hard to ignore it.

Mitchell's nostrils quivered along with his trembling lower lip, he looked like an upset child and it made Anders growl lowly in his throat "I-I was just so scared to kill you! I could have never lived knowing that I had survived by killing you, oh my God!" the vampire broke into sobs all of a sudden, falling to his knees on the floor and crossing his arms on the mattress as he cried into them.

Anders' heart sunk and he shook his head as he carded his fingers through Mitchell's curls, letting him vent as he ignored the bloody sheets underneath them – they definitely needed to change them. "I know, John, I know," he said softly, his voice was supposed to be soothing, but he knew that Mitchell really needed to let out all his frustration and sadness, so he just let him cry.

After a couple minutes of pure misery Mitchell's sobs turned to wheezing and occasional hiccupping as he looked up at Anders with red rimmed eyes, rubbing them dry with the back of his hands. "Fuck! I'm such a crybaby," a dry sob escaped his mouth, making him roll his eyes.

Anders smirked, arching a brow as he nodded in agreement "You've always cried a lot, you're the most emotional vampire in the history of vampires," he teased as he stood up on weak legs to get rid of the sheets.

Mitchell pouted as he stood up himself, half-glaring at Anders "What would you know about vampires," then he watched the way in which Anders' legs shook and he nearly tripped over his own foot, so he placed his hands on the blond's hips to keep him steady "Careful."

Anders looked down at Mitchell's hands on his hips, then stared up into his eyes "I'm not a damsel in distress, you know?" he smiled softly.

Mitchell shrugged a shoulder "I've always felt the need to be your knight in shining armor," he smiled bitter, then froze a bit when he realized that they were both hard – or half-hard in Mitchell's care – from the feeding. Well now, he knew that it was an arousing act for vampires, but he definitely wasn't expecting Anders' body to react like that. "Are you–" he stared, not really knowing if he was even supposed to ask about it "Is that–" but Anders was quicker in his reply and actions, cutting off any questions.

"Can you stop being such a faggot?" Anders pulled a face "Let's change the sheets, we need some rest," he said as he freed himself from the vampire's hold. Anders would have genuinely wanted nothing more than to melt into Mitchell's arms, kiss him and tumble into bed with him, but there was a part of him that still couldn't bring himself to do all of that. Anders was still holding a grudge against Mitchell and it wasn't going to go away just like that, he was still too scared that Mitchell could leave again at any moment.

Mitchell scowled a bit, his injured eyebrow was starting to slowly heal up and it hurt way less to move it. He stared intensely at Anders' back as he ripped the dirty sheets off the bed, Mitchell seriously didn't know what he had expected from Anders, he had walked out on him after all the promises they had made to each other, then he had suddenly showed up at his door for help. Realizing this made Mitchell feel even worse about drinking Anders' blood, it was like he had taken advantage of him and now he could just walk out on him again, as if that night had never even happened. "I should sleep on the couch," the vampire nearly whispered.

Anders looked at Mitchell from over his shoulder "You're too tall for that," he said before moving to the drawer in which he kept the sheets "Are you gonna help me or what?" he arched up an eyebrow as he threw the clean sheets on the bed.

Mitchell licked his lips and nodded, well at least Anders wasn't throwing him out of the bedroom, that was something.

They made the bed in silence, their gazes never meeting until they were done, and when they did Mitchell noticed how pale Anders' skin had got, how he had to take some small breaks because he was too tired to even lift the duvet, no matter how hard he tried to pretend he was just fine.

Mitchell was starting to get scared all over again; what if he was going to attack Anders in their sleep? What if he had actually drank too much blood from Anders? Mitchell had got so lost in his thoughts that he hadn't even noticed that Anders had already sneaked under the covers and was staring at him expectantly, as if he had said something and was waiting for an answer. "Sorry, what?"

Anders rolled his eyes "I said, are you standing there because you're waiting to get any taller, or are you actually going to get into bed?"

Mitchell felt his stomach clench at those words, he wondered if he had said that on purpose, if he remembered that the vampire had made the exact same comment on Anders standing by his table instead of sitting down, on their second date – if they could actually call it a date. He just smiled weakly and shook his head "No, I'm getting in." Mitchell said softly as he climbed under the clean covers. He was glad that he didn't feel the need to bite Anders again, it seemed like he really was sated and even if he had liked the taste of the god's blood he wasn't craving for more.

Mitchell awkwardly shifted on his stomach, not really sure about what to do now that he was in bed with Anders, but the blond was looking at him and he couldn't help but reach out a hand to touch his face. "You're cold," Mitchell frowned as he ran his fingers over Anders' cheek "I think I drank too much, you should have stopped me earlier than I did."

Anders tensed slightly when he saw Mitchell's hand approach him, both for fear of being attacked and of getting physical with the vampire, but he relaxed as soon as he felt Mitchell's fingers trace his face ever so gently. "Of course I'm cold, I've lost blood and the bit I have left has pooled down to my testes." both he and Mitchell stared at each other wide-eyed, because Anders hadn't really meant to say that.

Mitchell tried to play it off a bit and make things less awkward "I was just wondering about that earlier, when I was holding you–" but Anders quickly cut him off with a wave of the hand.

"No just–" Anders sighed "Don't mind me, I'm my usual prick self," he pursed his lips and slowly turned on his other side, facing the wall instead of the vampire. He squeezed his eyes shut and sucked in a sharp breath, he was torn between his desires and his rationality, and he was also mentally cursing at himself for behaving so out of character. Anders wouldn't normally avoid a root, but the situation was way too complex. It was right when Anders was trying to give in to sleep that all his resistance failed as Mitchell scooted closer and wrapped his arms around him.

"Can I stay like this? Even just for a while," Mitchell muttered against Anders' neck. He was so glad that he couldn't hear Anders' heartbeat or his blood rush through his veins, and the only scent he could smell was that of his skin mixed with cologne. Instead of getting a vocal reply, though, Mitchell was surprised to feel Anders turn in his arms and quickly winding his fingers around Mitchell's curls to pull him into a frantic kiss.

Anders could taste tobacco and his own blood into Mitchell's mouth, and it felt weirdly right. He could still smell Mitchell's cologne underneath the scent of blood and what he could only classify as the smell of the cold air of the night.

Mitchell was losing himself completely into the overdose of tastes and smells, he had missed Anders' mouth, his amazing lips and his intoxicating smell. Surely Anders tasted too much like alcohol and cigarettes, he had probably been abusing them to drown his sorrow, but after all hadn't Mitchell been doing the same with blood?

A few moans and dry sobs from both of them got swallowed into the desperate kiss, they had missed each other too much and no matter what had happened they couldn't help but clinging to one another as time stopped and the world surrounding them ceased to exist for those interminable minutes. They would have gone on kissing forever, if Anders didn't have to pull away, gasping for air, and if he hadn't been so incredibly worn out. The blond pressed his forehead against Mitchell's chin, keeping his eyes shut as he tried to catch his breath and wait for his heart to stop racing into his chest.

Mitchell licked his lips, he wanted to ask Anders for his forgiveness and tell him how helpless and worthless he felt without him but when he dared open his mouth to just utter a simple "Anders, I–" the god shushed him.

"No, shut it," Anders shook his head as he pulled back "Just don't speak, okay?" he looked up into Mitchell's eyes "It's late and I'm too tired to cope with anything, let's just sleep, eh?"

Mitchell swallowed thickly and nodded "Of course, yeah." he didn't really feel like waiting, but then again he couldn't expect too much from Anders. He watched the ghost of his beloved's usual smirk tug at the corners of his lips right before he tucked his head under Mitchell's chin, his fist gripping at the shirt covering Mitchell's chest. The vampire took one of those pointless breaths that made him feel less like a monster, and even if he still didn't know what was going to happen between he and Anders, just having him so close made him feel more human than anything... Even if he had drank his blood, and God he really hoped that it had been the first and last time he'd ever done it, if he got addicted to Anders' blood he didn't know what could be bound to happen.

To be continued...