Room 556
"Time to wake up, Gunner!" Jen said loudly as she skipped into his room.
"No it's not..." he replied before burying his head in his pillow.
"Come on, we vote for the presidents of our classes today. Everyone needs to vote, it's an important part of the democratic process!"
"Fine! I'll get up if you'll stop talking." he said, getting out of bed, again dressed in just boxers.
"Gunner-" Jen started.
"My room. I do what I want. Period." he said, finishing with a large burp.
"You're so charming Gunner." she said sarcastically.
"I know." he said with a grin as he pulled on a pair of BDU pants.
Lunchtime, Cafeteria
The usual gang of shooters sat around their table, eating, bragging, and joking with each other. In their midst, Gunner and Boomer were having a very animated discussion.
"Dude, you can't date her, she's like thirteen." Gunner said.
"Fourteen, but she spent a thousand years in stasis."
"Dude-"
"So she's actually 1014 years old. I'm robbin' the grave, not the cradle." he said with a smirk.
"Dude, that doesn't count. The law clearly states that time spent in stasis, cryogenic storage, under the influence of sleep spells and portions, and the alike doesn't count. Same with brain transplants. Both the body AND mind must be matured past the age of statutory."
"Way to cock-block me man."
"Dude, it's not ME cock-blocking you, it's the law cock-blocking you. It's not my fault."
"Gunner, shouldn't you guys be getting to the auditorium for the speeches? How will you know which candidate to vote for?" Jen said.
"That's easy. I'm voting for me." Gunner replied.
"Gunner, you can't run for class president!"
"Why? What happened to all that democratic process stuff you were spewing earlier? Or does that just not apply to me?"
"Well, uh-"
"See, there you have an example of my mad debate skillz. Besides, I have the highest score in my class."
"You mean the highest overall average, or the highest grade in your shooter classes?"
"In the classes that matter; my shooter classes, obviously. Duh."
"So you have a running mate?"
"Indeed. I believe you have met my associate Boomer?"
Boomer looked up from a group game of knives and waved.
"I chose him 'cuz he's least like to try to assassinate me to usurp my throne."
Jen shook her head and walked away.
1702 hrs., Cid Auditorium
The shooter's elections had no end in sight, for obvious reasons. The other classes had taken no more than fifteen minutes each to vote. The shooters had been voting for almost two hours.
"For the last time, no write-ins are allowed. This includes Ben Dover, Hugh Jass, John Wayne, Ralph Nader, and John Rambo. We can stay here ALL night, I hate my dog and my wife is on the rag, so I really don't have anything better to do. It's up to you guys when we can leave." Mr. Corvus stated into the microphone.
This was meet with the usual chorus of boos and sarcastic remarks.
"Yeah, I hate you guys too. Let's just shut-up and get this over with, alright?"
1854 hrs., Cid Auditorium
In the fastest election in shooter history, the ballots were finished in just four hours. Unfortunately, the election had resulted in a tie.
"Since there is a tie, the two of you will settle this with a duel-" Mr. Corvus said.
"YES!" Gunner yelled, pumping his fist.
"-of words." he finished.
"NO!"
"The standard Kyoto Convention rules for dozens will apply. Gunner, since you appear to be the crowd favorite, you may go first."
"The first time I saw you, you were a bogie on my gaydar." Gunner started.
"Forget the pork chop, your parents had to hang a cat around your neck so the dog would play with ya."
"Too bad your mom never read 'A Modest Proposal'!"
"You're momma's so fat, her cellulite, is cellu-heavy."
"Commie!"
"Emo!"
"French!" Gunner said.
He hadn't wanted to use his trump card so early, but his hand had been forced.
"Ooooo!" the crowd yelled.
His opponent sputtered, his mouth opening and closing like a fish.
"Three, two, one, and the winner..."
The teacher held up Gunner's hand.
"Is Gunner, for class president!"
The audience roared.
"I AM THE GREATEST MAN ALIVE!" Gunner yelled.
The crowd surged the stage and carried him off.
1918 hrs., Room 556
The sounds of a parade-like event filter into the room from the hallway.
"What the hell is all that noise outside?" Mike yelled, mainly to himself.
He opened the door, and was bombarded by the shooter's celebration. Loud rock music, yelling and shouting, and Gunner wearing a Burger King crown (the old crown was traded by the last president for a box of thermite grenades) being carried down the hall.
"Hey Mike!" he yelled.
"What the hell!"
"I won!" Gunner yelled before he was carried around a corner.
Mike turned pale.
"I must be going insane." he said, in a state of disbelief as he returned to the couch.
"What was that?" Jen asked.
"I'm not completely sure." he replied.
The Next Morning, School Park
The park was trashed, covered with litter, wrappers, discarded alcohol containers, and several spent shell casings and power packs. The statue of Mr. McCloud had been TPed, and someone's black robe had been ran up the flag pole, not to mention the words 'Shooters rule!' burned into the lawn. And in the midst of all this, unconscious shooters were randomly strewn around. On the ground, on the benches, in the trees, a couple in the fountain, everywhere. Jen carefully picked her way through the remains of the celebration, searching for Gunner. She finally spotted him, and was about a dozen paces from him when suddenly two shooters from the freshman class jumped in between her and Gunner, weapons up.
"State the nature of your business with the president." one of them said.
"Gunner needs to go to class!" she yelled.
"Our president needs to do no such thing." the other guard said.
"Gunner!" she yelled.
Gunner stirred, yawned and rolled over.
"Look sir, droids." he muttered, still asleep.
Jen's hammer suddenly appeared.
"You have three seconds to move. 3..." she said.
"Raider 6, this is Raider 3! We need backup!" the second one yelled into his radio.
"2..." Jen counted.
"You got the bean-bag rounds, right?" the first one said to the second.
"No! I though you had them!"
"Fuck! We are SO boned!"
"1..."
The two of them moved aside.
"Go ahead and wake'im up." the first one said with a sigh.
"That's what I thought. WAKE-UP GUNNER!"
"Huh! Wha! I didn't do it!" he yelled sitting straight up.
"Go to class!" she yelled.
"I don't wanna!"
"Gunner...!" she yelled, waving the hammer threateningly.
"Fine! Ruin my big day! Sheesh. Women."