Come Awake

By angellwings

Walk Away

A bullet with your name, a ticking time grenade,
You better run away, run away, run away
Either way you're screwed, there's nothing you can do,
You better run away, run away, run away.

Nate gently led Ella toward the couch and sat her down next to him. She immediately curled into him and wrapped her arms around his chest. He rubbed her back soothingly and shared concerned looks with Mitchie and Caitlyn.

"Ella," Nate said calmly even though his insides were as tense as they'd ever been. "What happened? When did all of this start?"

She sniffled and pulled her head out of his shoulder. "Two weeks ago. But I thought I was just panicking. Sometimes I thought I saw them out of the corner of my eye, but I just thought I was imagining things."

He remembered calling her once and hearing her pause because she thought she saw someone. She'd given him an excuse and gotten off the phone. That was over a week ago.

"And then last week I went to leave the studio after a meeting with my team and I—I saw their car. It was parked across the street from my classroom building," Ella's voice thickened and he could hear the unshed tears in her eyes as she glanced to Caitlyn. "That was the night I didn't meet you, remember?"

Caitlyn nodded. "It's hard to forget, Ella."

"You weren't parked far from them," Ella told her. "I couldn't risk it. So I just…stayed put."

"And yesterday when we were disconnected?" Nate asked curiously as he rubbed soothing circles on her back.

"They sent me a card in the mail," Ella said as she looked down at his chest. "To my school P.O. Box."

"A card? A greeting card?" Mitchie asked.

Ella nodded. "It was one of those 'Miss You' cards and on the inside 'come home' was written in all caps in angry red ink. I—I didn't—I mean, I never thought that they would…they know how to find me now. What am I supposed to do?"

Caitlyn glared at the carpet and then started pacing in front of the couch. "I'll tell you what you're supposed to do, Ella. You're supposed to tell them to fuck off. They can't do this! It's your life! Just tell them to get the fuck out or you'll call the cops! They're on your turf now, and you can control this. Tell them off and kick them the hell out of your life. That's what you do, Ella."

Ella visibly flinched every time Caitlyn's volume increased and she put emphasis on certain words. Her arms tightened around Nate and she cast her eyes downward. Nate opened his mouth to speak but Mitchie spoke over him.

"Caitlyn," Mitchie said with a sigh. "I don't think the police are going to be any real help in this situation."

"This is why we have police, Mitchie! She could get a restraining order!"

"Think about that act they pulled with us earlier," Mitchie said loudly. "The worried parents who just want their sweet baby girl back! Remember that? If she goes to the police it will be her word verses theirs and I hate to say it but authority figures are more inclined to believe the parents than the child. I don't think they would do anything to help her."

Ella curled into Nate's side again and buried her face into the crook of his neck. Nate sighed. This wasn't helping.

"She's 18! She's not a minor anymore and even if she was they can't treat her like she's their fucking property! She's a person! Not a pet! They're stalking her, Mitchie, and sending her threatening messages! If the police won't help her at first then we'll raise hell until they do! It's just that simple!"

"No! Caitlyn, it's not that simple! This situation is anything but simple!"

Ella whimpered and tightened her arms around him and Nate huffed. Enough was enough. This was only making Ella feel worse. He wanted to yell at them to stop but any more raised voices would just cause Ella to retreat inward even more. So he cleared his throat loudly and got the attention of both girls.

"Why don't you guys go get us some dinner somewhere?" Nate asked as he gave them both a pleading look. "I'm starving and I'm sure you guys are too." He hugged Ella too him and then kissed the top of her head. "Ella? Are you hungry?" She nodded wordlessly and he sighed as he ran a hand up her arm comfortingly. "What about pizza? How does that sound?"

She nodded again and Nate suddenly had an idea.

"Caitlyn knows all the good pizza places, remember?" He whispered gently. "She'll find us the perfect pizza. Like Denver."

Ella sniffled and glanced up at him with red wet eyes. "I'd like that."

"Good, then that's what will have," Nate said as he swallowed back his own emotions. He closed his eyes and placed a lingering kiss on her forehead. "Just let me talk to them and I'll be right back, okay?"

"Okay," She whispered as she reluctantly let him go. Nate stood and pulled both Mitchie and Caitlyn into the kitchen.

"What are you doing, Nate?" Caitlyn asked in an irritated tone.

"Caitlyn, I know you care about her and I know you're trying to help, but you're just making things worse. She flinches every time the two of you yell at each other. This is not the way to help her find a solution. She has to make this decision herself and she won't be able to make one with people around her who are pissed. She's frazzled enough and all your anger is going to do is remind her of her parents. So, please, will the two of you go out and get us some food and cool off so that I can get her to talk to me?" Nate asked in a stressed tone as he ran a hand through his curls. "Please?"

Caitlyn's shoulders slumped and she leaned against the kitchen counter. Her face contorted in pain and she took several deep breaths. "I'm scared for her, Nate. I can't help it. I…don't mean to frighten her."

Nate put a hand on her shoulder and gave her an understanding look. "I get it. Trust me, I get it. I want her safe as much as you do. She just needs you to cool off a bit first, Cait."

Mitchie bit her bottom lip and gave Nate a concerned look. "Nate, seriously, what are her options? What can she realistically do to keep them away?"

Nate's jaw tensed and his eyes burned. He knew what needed to happen he just didn't know if Ella could handle it. "Tell the truth. Go to the police, tell them what they did to her, and come clean. That's the only way. They won't believe her if she just tells them the half truths she's told us. They'll want full disclosure."

Mitchie's eyes watered and she shook her head. "I'm not sure I want full disclosure. The idea of what she's not telling us…what they could have done to her…"

"I have to keep telling myself it can't be as bad as I've always assumed," Nate told Mitchie with a supportive glance. "But, right now, we have to put our fears aside and just focus on how to keep Ella safe. Agreed?"

Mitchie and Caitlyn nodded before Caitlyn grabbed her keys off the kitchen counter.

"I'll go find her some truly superb pizza," Caitlyn said with a sigh. "You coming, Mitch?"

Mitchie nodded. "Yeah, I have to make sure you don't put olives on the pizza."

Caitlyn rolled her eyes. "Olives are delicious. I don't know why you have a problem with them."

"Thanks, guys," Nate said with a small smile as they turned to leave the kitchen.

"Anything for you and Ella, Nate," Mitchie said as she gave him a quick hug. "You know that."

She's tellin' tales through telephone
That make you cry, chill to the bone.
It's lock and key, electrified,
Hide and seek from dirty eyes.
Driving in the rain to somewhere far,
But they've got tattoos stamped upon their arms, of her name in hearts
She doesn't understand that love is what you give, not given up.
Where's her missing piece her mind's been chasing, chasing?

The door closed behind Mitchie and Caitlyn and Nate took a deep fortifying breath. If Ella was going to have to tell the police the truth she would need to tell someone else first. It would make things easier on her in the long run. As much as he'd honestly rather stay oblivious he knew that wasn't an option now. He also knew that getting Ella to tell him wasn't going to be easy. She was going to fight him on it. He was already having trouble fighting his instinct to pack up her things and take her back on tour with him. He wanted to comfort and protect her, but the only way to properly do one of those things was to not do the other. It was one of those have your cake and eat it too things that he hated so much.

He returned to his seat next to Ella and put an arm around her shoulders.

"Nate?" Ella asked meekly.

"Yes?"

"What am I supposed to do now?"

"Ella, you can do whatever you want to do. What would you like to do?"

"I'd like to be free of my parents. For good," Ella said with a gulp. "But I don't know how to do that."

"Well, you could start by, um, telling me the truth and then maybe once you've done that you can tell the police and then—"

"No!" Ella said as she pulled away from him and stood from the couch. "I don't want to relive that, Nate! I can't! You don't know what they put me through."

"That's my point, Ella," Nate said as he reached for her hand. "I don't know. No one does, and for you to get rid of them you're going to have to talk about it. Wouldn't you rather confide in someone you know first?"

"I've told you before…you don't want to know," Ella said with a gulp as she pulled her hand away and paced. "If I tell you then you'll never look at me the same way ever again. I don't want the way you look at me to change." Ella stopped pacing and looked Nate in the eyes. "I love the way you look at me now. You look at me like…like I can do anything and like…I could never disappoint you. I can't lose that, Nate. You're the only person who's ever looked at me that way."

"You're not going to lose that," Nate told her. "It doesn't matter what's happened in your past, Ella. Not to me. I know you and I believe in you. That won't change. Ever."

She bit her bottom lip and stared at him skeptically before she shook her head. "No. No. I told myself I'd move on and that I'd never go back to that place again. Don't make me, Nate. Don't."

"Ella, if you want to keep your parents away you're going to have to tell someone about the situation. If you don't then nothing will ever change and you'll always be running. Is that what you want?"

She looked at him with tears in her eyes and Nate could see she was on the fence. She wanted to tell him. She just needed to courage to relive it. Her lip quivered and she shook her head. "No, that's not what I want. That's not what I want at all."

Nate took her hand and tugged her down to the couch with him before he softly kissed the back of her hand. "Then tell me. Please?"

She took a deep breath and squeezed his hand tightly. "Do you know what my first memory is?"

"No, but I'd like to."

"One of my markers bled through my coloring book onto the dining room table," Ella said with a gulp. "And my mother locked me in the hall closet as punishment. If I made a noise at all she'd bang on the door and threaten me with dad. I don't know how long I was in there but when they let me out they were cooking breakfast. Breakfast. And she put me in there after lunch."

Nate's brow furrowed in concern and disbelief. "How old were you?"

"Four, I think," Ella said as she bit the inside of her cheek. "I hadn't started school yet."

Nate closed his eyes and hugged Ella to his chest.

"Anytime I said or did something they didn't like they put me in that closet," Ella admitted. "The one time I fought them on it my father slammed my arm in the door." She sniffled and turned a hollow stare on her right arm. "He broke my arm. Had a cast on it for my first six weeks of kindergarten. I never fought them on the closet again. I guess I learned the lesson they wanted me to learn."

Ella kept talking and Nate was relieved because he didn't quite know how to react. "Growing up, they made sure to tell me that I was basically worthless and that no one else would put up with me. I wasn't allowed to do much at all. I had my piano lesson once a week and other than that it was school and then home. I didn't go to sleepovers or birthday parties. I didn't play sports. It was just home, school, and then home again. And I was expected to be perfect at school and on the piano. If I didn't make the grades they wanted or practice as much as they thought I should then it was back in the closet. My father was very particular about how I looked too. Picture day in fourth grade mom did my hair and put a bit of make up on me. She had curled my hair into what I thought were these really beautiful spiral curls. I loved them. I felt grown up, you know? Dad hated them. He was so angry. He was yelling and spitting when he spoke and I was terrified. He took the curling iron from my mother and pressed it to the back of my neck. I don't know if it was to punish me or prove a point to her but it didn't matter. He did it and that was yet another trip to the emergency room for me," Ella paused and pulled her hair up into a messy bun before turning away from him so Nate could see the back of her neck. "I still have a scar."

The scar stuck out like a sore thumb now, and for the life of him he couldn't figure out how he'd never noticed it before. The skin that had healed was discolored and now he couldn't seem to ignore it. It was glaring at him. He gingerly reached out and ran a callused thumb over it. Ella sucked in a breath and Nate couldn't stop himself from doing what he did next. He leaned forward and placed a feather light kiss on her scar. She didn't deserve to have a scar that looked as painful as that one.

Ella sucked in a breath and he thought he heard her whimper again as if she were just barely holding back tears. Nate played with the ends of her hair and sighed sadly.

"No one noticed? None of your teachers suspected anything?"

"My fifth grade teacher did. She had the school keeping a close eye on me that year, and that's probably why my fifth grade school year was my absolutely favorite. My parents didn't lock me in the closet that year and for a while things were pretty peaceful and then…my mother discovered she could wound me too. With her words. I had to be perfect and if I wasn't then she had the right to say whatever the hell she wanted to me."

"Ella," Nate said softly. He wanted to tell her she didn't have to continue but to his surprise she kept going.

She pointed to a strand of caramel colored hair and then closed her eyes. "This isn't a highlight. It may look like one but it isn't. It's from a scar on my scalp. The hair that grows from it has lost some of it's pigment due to damage."

"Damage?" Nate asked fearfully.

"I have a scar on my scalp from when I had stitches in middle school," Ella said as she gently rubbed the spot where she knew her scar should be.

"Stitches," Nate repeated. Now his fear and sadness was rallying into fury. What kind of parent could do these things to their child?

"Yes, stitches. I asked if I could take guitar lessons instead of piano lessons and dad hit me and I fell on the corner of the piano which put a gash in my scalp, and then on the way down my chin hit the piano Bench and got a gash there too, " Ella said as she leaned into Nate. He remembered noticing the scar on her chin earlier and now he knew where it came from. "And after each one of these I got an ice cream cone and a trip to Toys-R-Us and they were both sorry for the rest of the night. But the next day the cycle would start all over again. Nothing ever changed."

Nate pulled Ella to his chest and held her tightly. He placed several kisses on her cheeks and forehead and temples. He'd respected her before, of course, but now that he really knew what she'd grown up around he understood her so much better. And he was angry at her parents but very proud of her. She was recovering and she was thriving. She wasn't going to be a victim anymore and he felt so proud of her for daring to step out on her own and start over. She'd been through so much and yet she was still so strong. If it was possible, he loved her even more. She'd started to cry into his shirt and he carefully pulled her into his lap and cradled her against him. He didn't know how long she cried, but he'd decided to just let her go. To let her cry all she needed to cry. He doubted anyone had ever just held her and let her cry.

Nate rubbed her back as she calmed down and kissed her lips quickly and softly. They tasted salty like her tears and he cupped her chin with one of his hands. "You need to tell these things to the police, Ells. The hospital records will confirm all of this and they'll be able to help you."

"What if they don't believe me? I did run away and...then…"

"Then?"

"What if they find another way to hurt me? To get back at me? They always used to say they would. If I ever told anyone they said they would punish me. What if they find a way to go through with that?" Ella asked as she glanced at him fearfully. "What if they take it out on you? Or one of my other friends? I—I don't want that, Nate."

"If you don't stand up to them then none of us are safe," Nate told her. "At least this way you can protect yourself. You never know, you standing up to them might scare them off. You have to try, Ella." Nate stood up and held out his hand to her. "Come on. We can go to the police right now. You can get this over with tonight and then afterward you'll feel much better. You'll see."

Ella took a deep breath as she stared at his hand and for a minute he thought she wasn't going to take him up on his offer but as her hand hesitantly rested on top of his he closed his eyes and breathed a sigh of relief.

"Okay," Ella said as she let him pull her into a standing position. "Let's do this."

A bullet with your name, a ticking time grenade,
You better run away, run away, run away
Either way you're screwed, there's nothing you can do,
No matter what you say, what you say, what you say.

Yeah you better not sleep, because she's waiting, waiting.
She knows all about you; you're in her aim.