Warnings: implied abuse and self-harm
Over the next couple of weeks saw them in the same routine that neither of them wanted to break. Lily sneaking over at night when she could, comforting each other through nightmares or just horrible memories when they would be all consuming.
Cas had even begun to open up about his own past…it started when he woke up screaming for his father to stop. Lily had held him even when he fought against her, but she wouldn't let go and he finally collapsed against her sobbing. He couldn't tell her all but she caught the gist of what happened. It made her chest hurt thinking that anyone could hurt someone like Cas…he was so amazing and…fragile. She wanted to protect that as much as she was able. She could give him that while he gave her his strength to keep going.
The third week after the show down with Tessa tore at their routine until it was a mangled mess….
"Lily come on! Jeez," Cas called out to her. She was for some reason by her own locker when he got out of Chemistry. She snatched a thin box out and shoved it into her bag as she ran over.
"What was that?" He asked eyeing her curiously. She just shook her head and roughed up his hair.
"Nothing weirdo…let's go. I have so much homework…Crowley is a fucking demon," She rolled her eyes.
"Oh my god you guys, did you see that that freaking mustang sitting out in front of the school? God it is soooooo sexy!" Balthazar exclaimed his British accent thick with excitement. He was a new friend that had enjoyed watching Lily yell at Tessa a little too much. Now they found him joining for lunch and neither minded, he was hilarious.
"Oh yeah? What color?" Lily grinned over at him but Cas's heart skipped a beat.
"A blue so electrified it would give Castiel's shocked expression a run for his money," Balthazar smirked and Lily laughed but stopped short. Cas gasped and felt like someone's fist slammed into his stomach.
"Guys…what's wrong?" Balthazar asked eyeing them both. Lily took in a deep breath and tried to keep her trembling from showing but her grip on Castiel's hand only tightened. They kept walking and Balthazar kept asking what was wrong, neither of them could answer…
Sure enough a blue Mustang sat behind Michael's car. Brian leaned against the passenger door, glaring daggers at Michael who was visibly struggling to keep from saying something.
"Seriously guys, what is going on…do you know him?" Balthazar asked stopping them both with a hand on Castiel's shoulder.
"He's my brother…I have to go…" Lily stuttered and tried pulling away but Cas just held on tighter.
"No…" Cas managed to choke out, his eyes never leaving Lily's face. Her eyes were filled with tears and she was trying to catch her breath.
"Cas please…I'll call you later I promise," She whispered and tore away from him.
"About fucking time little sister," Brian grumbled grabbing her arm. Cas felt his heart speed up and he wanted so badly to run over and stop them but he couldn't…he knew what would happen to her.
"Cas, what the hell is going on?" Balthazar demanded, all joking pushed away and Cas was surprised to see genuine worry written on their friend's face. He wanted to answer but Michael's voice interrupted.
"Lily…don't you have a project due with Castiel?" Michael asked stepping closer. Cas bit his lip and prayed.
"Y-yes…it's due in a few days," She stammered staring at her older brother.
"I'm Castiel's older brother Michael…if it would be alright with you, maybe she could come over tonight and work on it?" he heard the plea in Michael's voice.
"Not tonight…Mother wants a word with her darling daughter…maybe tomorrow…get in the car…now" Brian snarled, pushing Lily into the car. Michael took a step closer but Cas could see Lily shaking her head. The car tore out of the parking lot and before Cas could realize what was going on, he was on his knees trying to breathe.
"Shit! Cas!" he could hear Balthazar's voice through the fog spreading through his head.
"Baby brother…breathe…it's ok…she'll be ok…" he felt his older brother's hands cupping his face but he couldn't focus, all he could see was Lily's green eyes filling with tears.
It was 3 days and he hadn't heard or seen Lily. She wasn't at school and her phone was off. He couldn't sleep; too scared he'd miss her tapping at his window or the door. Michael kept trying to reassure him that she was ok but he could see the same worry in his face.
His pencil tapped anxiously at his desk watching the clock slowly mark its time for the bell to ring. When it did, he scrambled out of his seat only to be stopped by a gentle hand on his shoulder.
"Castiel…may I have a word?" Mrs. Barnes asked softly. He nodded and stood by her desk waiting for the others to leave.
"I know you and Miss Mosby have been rather close in the last few weeks…do you know where she's been?" she asked keeping her voice quiet. Castiel shook his head trying to keep the panic from rising in his chest.
"Ok…well, when you see her, let her know that I'm here for her if she ever needs anything," she offered with a smile. Castiel felt himself nod and he ran. Teachers were starting to notice and worry…Mrs. Barnes wasn't the first to ask him about Lily. Without another thought Castiel crashed through the front doors of the school and ran. He didn't stop until he was standing in front of Lily's house gasping for air. He'd only been there once but it still brought chills down his spine.
He hesitated for a moment before knocking loud on the door. After a few moments it flew open to reveal a very disgruntled Brian who was now glaring at him.
"What do you want?" he growled out.
"Is…Is Lily here? She hasn't been in school…" Castiel stammered shrinking back a little.
"She's been sick..." Brian stated and went to close the door but Castiel put his hand out to stop it. Brian fixed his gaze at him and Castiel felt his pulse quicken.
"I just…um, wanted to make sure she was ok…I um…"
"Casriel right? Look…she'll be at school next week. Goodbye now," Brian said this time slamming the door shut before Castiel could say or do anything else. He backed away from the door looking at all the windows, trying to figure out which one was hers… He bit down hard on his lip and shook his head, even if he did find her it what would he do? Kidnap her?
Shaking his head he made his way to the sidewalk when a loud knocking stopped him. He spun around and he could see Lily's face in one of the side windows.
"Lil?" He squeaked out. She looked horrible…there were dark circles under her bloodshot eyes. Tears streamed down her face; a giant bruise on the right side of her face. Her lip was split again. He saw her mouth his name just before Brian wrenched her away from the window. Castiel wanted to knock on the door again but he knew it would be useless. He turned away from the house and began to walk towards his house, pulling his phone out of his pocket.
"Mikey! You have to come and help me…I just saw Lily and she looks horrible!" Castiel practically yelled into the phone.
"Whoa, Whoa…hold on. Cassie why aren't you in school? And what's going on?" Michael demanded. He could hear his older brother rummaging around for something and he prayed that it was for his car keys.
"I know Mike and I'm sorry…I hadn't heard anything from her in 3 days and I had to see if she was ok…" Castiel explained as he started to pace along the sidewalk a few houses down from Lily's.
"Cassie…alright, stay there. I'm coming," Michael hung up and Castiel sighed with relief. His phone shrilled at him and he answered without looking to see who it was.
"Cas…where are you?" Lily's voice came out in a thick whisper. Castiel felt his heart skip a beat, as he looked around frantically.
"I'm a few houses down…Lil are you ok?" Castiel demanded his fingers gripping the phone tightly.
"I'm…not ok Cas…I can't stand this anymore," She whimpered before a sob escaped her throat.
"Can you get out of the house? My brother is on his way to come pick me up…"
"I'm actually hiding in the back yard right now…they haven't seen me yet."
"Come out to the sidewalk, my brother should be here any minute," Castiel pleaded. There was no answer; she had hung up. He heard a loud clang as he made his way back to her house, so relieved to see Lily hurrying to him he let out a soft groan.
"Oh my god Lily…what happened?" He asked in a hushed whisper, pulling her into a tight hug. Her entire body was shaking but her fingers managed to hold onto his shirt with a death grip.
"Cassie…Lily…get in the car!" He heard Michael call out when the car came to a hard stop next to them. They crawled into the backseat of Michael's car, Lily nearly crawling into Castiel's lap. Michael looked over his shoulder at them and shook his head, his lips pressed hard together. The car peeled away from the curb and spun around to go back to their house.
They managed to get Lily into the house and Michael helped clean her up, forcing Castiel to start dinner.
"Lily…we need to take you to the police…" Michael said softly pressing a piece of gauze to her lip. She shook her head and tried to pull away but Michael's hand on her shoulder kept her in place.
"Please…I…I got the forms to emancipate myself yesterday and she signed them…that's why I have this," She sniffled pointing to her lip, "My mother wants me gone but my brother…he thinks he can still save me and doesn't want me to go. He kept me locked up in that house and took my phone. When I saw Cas at my house…I was able to steal it back. If I can just send those forms in…please I just want this to be over, I don't want to involve the police cause they'll just try to send me away," Lily began to cry, her chest heaving as she tried to catch her breath.
If they sent her away she knew exactly where they'd send her…to people who would most likely treat her worse than her own mother and brother. People who still blamed her for her father's death. She would never be able to see Cas again…she would never be able to survive that.
"Ok…Ok…I'll help you get those in…do you have them with you?" Michael gently pushed her hair away from her face to inspect the bruise on her face. She winced and shook her head, tears still spilling from her eyes.
"No…Once I got my phone and Cas told me you were picking him up I had to get out of there…I'm so fucking stupid," Lily groaned rubbing her eyes furiously.
"Hey…don't. Me and Cassie will go back to your place and get your stuff after dinner…in the mean time you need to try and relax…you're safe here Lily, I promise," Michael pulled her hands down from her face and gave her a smile that warmed her heart. She nodded and took in a shaky breath before letting it out slowly.
"Thank you Michael…I can't…even begin to tell you how grateful I am…"
"Shush…once this is over you can thank me then. This is your home now and you're welcome to stay as long as you want. Come on…lets go save Cassie from the stove," Michael smiled at her and she couldn't help herself from giggling. Cas couldn't cook to save his life…he even burnt the water for pasta one night…
"Michael…I have to ask though…why are you being so nice to me? I'm just a friend of Cas's…. I'm not family but you're going through all this trouble to help me…" Lily chewed on her lip as she waited. He smiled down at her again as he put his hands on her shoulders staring right into her eyes.
"You're not just Cas's friend…you are family and have been since that night you were able to calm Cas down from his nightmare. I know it's hard right now but…from what Cas has said I'm a damn good older brother and I've always wanted a little sister," Michael grinned at Lily. There were no words that she could utter that would come close to how she felt at that moment. She launched into Michael's arms and clung onto him, praying that he would understand. He felt him kiss her head and hug her tightly to his chest.
"And just so you know…I protect my family with a vengeance," He winked down at her before pulling her into the kitchen.
"Cas…seriously?" Lily asked quickly wiping away the tears that were now falling from the intense relief that nearly overwhelmed her. Swallowing thickly and trying to calm herself she was able to really see what was in front of her. Cas stood in the middle of the kitchen with the most adorable confused look on his face, as he looked over at all the open cabinets. She let out a loud laugh that shocked him back into reality; he smiled at her and shook his head.
"…Well…that was a massive fail…who's up for pizza?" Michael laughed playfully punching Cas's arm. Cas stuck his tongue out at his brother making Lily laugh again. She leaned up against one of the counters and finally felt the calm settle over her. She felt a hand on her shoulder and knew it was Cas. Her eyes opened and she smiled, easing the worried look in his eyes.
"Pizza's ordered…now…there is something we need to talk about. Cassie…you're still grounded…no arguments baby brother…and as much as I trust you two…Lily you need your own room while you live here. I'm going to call off work tomorrow and clean out the office for you," Michael explained leaning against the other counter.
"But you use that for your work Michael…I can't take that!" She argued and he held a hand up to stop her rant.
"No arguments from you either…there's plenty of room in my bedroom for my office stuff. Cas, you and I will go get Lily's stuff from her house…but we won't be able to get any of your furniture," Michael bit his lip.
"That's fine…I wasn't overly attached to it…the only things I care about are my backpack…all my school stuff is in it and so are the forms, my dad's photo albums and camera which are in a box in the back of my closet," Lily explained wringing her hands together. She felt guilty that they were willing to do this for her…if only she could go with them to make things less awkward when going through her stuff. Michael would never allow that, she knew that without asking.
"Ok…pizza should be here any moment…we'll leave right after."
To say Castiel was anxious would be a major understatement. Michael's car pulled to a stop in front of Lily's house and his older brother heaved a heavy sigh.
"Alright, lets get this over with…" he grumbled before getting out of the car. Castiel followed close behind and pretty much hid behind him as the door swung open. A woman in her late 40's answered the door, her eyes narrowing at them.
"Can I help you?" She asked with annoyance. Cas peaked around Michael to get a better look at the woman…Lily had the same hair color but there was no other similarities between mother and daughter. Everything he found adorable and endearing in his best friend must have come from her father.
"My name is Michael Novak, I'm Castiel's older brother. Your daughter Lily…"
"What did the little bitch do this time?" The woman snarled and Castiel bit down hard on his lip to keep from saying anything.
"She did nothing Ma'am…we're just here to get a few of her things…I've allowed her to come stay with us for a little while and she needs her school supplies and clothes," Michael explained. Her mother glared at him but let them in regardless. Castiel had expected the door to be slammed in their faces…he was relieved when they were able to walk inside. He glanced over to his left, where the living room was, and saw Brian getting up from the couch. Giving both him and Michael a hard look.
"You're that boy she's always with…" He stated getting a little to close. Michael stood between them and made Brian shrink a little.
"Would you mind showing or at least telling us where Lily's room is please?" Michael asked politely but Cas could hear the strain in his words.
"First room down the hall," Brian answered not taking his eyes away from Michael. His older brother nodded his thanks before pulling Cas quickly away, closing the door behind them. Castiel quickly glanced around the room; it was pretty bare for a teenager. He tried to not dwell on it as he yanked open the closet door. Sure enough in the back was a box labeled "Dad". He pulled it out and placed it on the bed. He found an empty flattened box in the closet as well. Once he got it opened he started to drop her clothes down into it. Everything was able to fit including her shoes.
Michael found her backpack on her desk chair, Castiel watched as he gingerly opened her desk drawers, glancing quickly through the top layer to see if she needed any of it. There was a small makeup bag that he pulled out and shoved into one of the pocket along with a slender pencil box. Cas stared at that box…he'd seen it before…it was the same thing he saw Lily pull out of her locker a couple of days ago.
When Michael moved away to go through something else Cas moved over and pulled the box out, slowly unlatching it. He let out a groan when he saw the razors and exacto knives. Before Michael could see, he shoved the box into his back pocket.
It took about 15 minutes but they managed to get most of her stuff, thank god she had kept boxes in her room. Michael had just left the room when Cas heard an aggravated sound from behind him. He looked over his shoulder and froze…her mother stood in the doorway glaring at him.
"So you're the one who turned my daughter into a whore…she thinks she's so smart…sneaking out of the house…to what? Be with you? My daughter never did have any taste…but you must have something make her such a wanton slut," She said through clenched teeth. He felt his blood go cold from her words…he swallowed thickly turning his body to face her.
"Lily is not a whore…or a slut. She's my best friend," Castiel said trying to calm down his breathing. Now he knew how Lily felt when people bullied him at school. He wanted to charge this woman and shut her mouth for her.
"That's what she would like you to believe sweetheart…why don't you ask her how many boys she's been with…We had to leave our last home because of that bitch…" She snarled taking a step closer to Castiel. Michael appeared behind her and cleared his throat, making her jerk to her left.
"Thank you for letting us come in, we'll be leaving now. Cassie…let's go," Michael ordered. Cas snatched up the duffel bag and hurried out of the room and damn near ran to Michael's car.
It was Sunday and Michael had finally ungrounded Castiel enough to let both of them go to the pond. It took nearly all weekend but they managed to get the office cleaned out and for the moment she had to sleep on an air mattress…it didn't matter because she always found her way back into Cas's room. Michael had promised that the next weekend they'd go Idea to get a few pieces of furniture. Lily had argued with him until he finally agreed to go to goodwill first.
Lily smiled when they finally got to the pond, claiming it as their spot from then on. She took her shoes off and even though it was a bit chilly, she dropped her feet into the water after sitting down on one of the rocks. Castiel sat down next to her and sighed.
"Lil…when…we got your stuff I found something…I didn't let Michael see it but…" Cas started. He pulled out the thin box from his back pocket; Lily gasped and stared at him with wide eyes.
"Cas…I…" tears pooled in her eyes and Cas quickly took her hand.
"Lily…I swear I know what it feels like…to not be able to handle everything that goes on inside. That this," he ran his finger up his own scarring, "feels like it's the only thing you can control…but you have me now. Let me be your outlet…don't do this anymore…please?" Castiel begged gripping her hand tighter. She closed her eyes and bit her lip, after a few moments she nodded.
He stood up and pulled her with him, putting the box in her hands. He gestured out to the water and waited. Her fingers clung onto the box as she fought to control her ragged breathing. She looked up into his face and let out a little smile before chucking the box, letting it soar and fall right into the middle of the pond.
"Mine is in there as well…Michael made me throw mine after I moved here. He had found it while I was unpacking. He didn't even try to force me to tell him why I did it…that's how I knew I could trust him and rely on him to help me when I felt the urge…" Castiel explained taking Lily's hand.
"I trust you too Cas…I promise I'll come to you first," she let out a deep breath and leaned against him, letting the soft autumn air surround them.