Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer

Penguin HQ, topside, FISH o'clock.

Rico was showing off the humans on a wintry day, spinning and sliding on the ice. Humans were so much fun, the way they 'ooh'ed and 'ah'ed when he did tricks, like a toy. There weren't that many of them today because of the cold, but Rico's disappointment about that was immediately forgotten when the fish were thrown into the dinner bowl. After eating some very good mackerel, he went back to performing, deciding to throw in some extra holiday cheer and hacking up a Santa hat when the few boys and girls at the fence were distracted by something. When he put it on and started dancing, the children giggled and pointed, making Rico smile.

In a sudden the kids all turned away, pointing at something else and squealing.

"Look! It's Rudolph!" a girl shouted. Rico followed her finger to a cardboard cutout of a reindeer with a blinking red light where its nose should be. A warmly dressed person was next to the reindeer on the cutout, with a hole where its head should be. The person must have played with a chainsaw too much, as Skipper always warned him not to do. Bad person.

All the kids left to poke their heads through and have adults take pictures. Rico indignantly crossed his flippers. Who was this 'Rudolph' that was taking away all his attention?

"Hello, Rico! How's it going up here?" Private asked, climbing out of the hatch.

"Blahgah menadeebobba!" Rico replied, gesturing towards the cardboard display.

"Oh! Seems you've lost your audience to Rudolph." Private giggled.

"Whodarudolph?"

"Only Santa's top reindeer!" Private explained. "Haven't you heard the song?" Rico shook his head. "Well then, it goes like this-" Private did a little dance as he sang:

Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer, had a very shiny nose. And if you ever saw it, you would even say it glows.

All of the other reindeer, used to laugh and call him names, they never let poor Rudolph, join in any reindeer games!

Rico made a sad face. "Hey, datnotnice."

"No, they were very mean. But…"

Then one foggy Christmas Eve, Santa came to say: 'Rudolph with your nose so bright, won't you guide my sleigh tonight?'

Then how the reindeer loved him, and they shouted out with glee: 'Rudolph, the red-nosed reindeer, you'll go down in History!'

"-and that's the story." Private smiled. "Remember when we met the reindeer in Madagascar? And… Cupid?" Private's face turned mushy for a moment, causing Rico to get annoyed.

"Yeah, yeah, blech," he muttered.

"Oh. Right. I wish Rudolph had been with them. I've always wanted to meet Rudolph!"

"Mennamenna BLAhgabedigga," Rico said, shrugging.

"What's so great about him? Well, without him, Santa couldn't see through all the fog! Rudolph's red nose made him like a Christmastime hero!" Private's sentence ended with a squeak, causing Rico to roll his eyes.

"Psh! Meh, gabadeeblehgah," he grumbled, giving an indifferent swipe of his flipper.

"Well, I think Rudolph is neat."

"Private! Opinion needed on glittery decorations!" Skipper called from HQ.

"Coming, Skipper! Bye Rico!" Private gave a little wave before jumping down the hatch. When he had gone, Rico kept staring at the kids, an idea forming in his mind. Rudolph got a lot of attention from that red nose.

A few minutes later, Rico was dancing to Christmas music with antlers on his head and a huge blinking red nose on his beak, his Santa hat abandoned. He started singing to himself: "Wico da wed-nosed penguin, blahdee gahbah dee ga dee! Wico da wed-nosed penguin, blah dee gahbah dee ga KABOOM!" Rico coughed up a bomb that exploded in red fireworks. The little children shrieked- he had attracted a large crowd of them.

"Rico? What is going on up there?!" Skipper flipped out of the fishbowl entrance with a stern look on his face. "Was that an unauthorized b- what on earth are you wearing?"

"Oh. Heh. Heh heh. Nothin'!" Rico gave a sheepish laugh, shrugging his flippers.

Private appeared out of the hatch, decorations in hand. "Skipper, I like this one with the gold- Rico?" he said. "Did you really dress up as Rudolph?" He started to snicker.

Rico quickly took off the antlers and nose and swallowed them. "Mah mah nah blehgahdayga!"

"You do know I saw that," Private smirked.

"Ooooo innit dee anyting," Rico said, circling his flippers in a very 'Skipper' way.

"Okay… um… I sense there's an inside joke to this that I cannot fully comprehend because I wasn't there, so who wants eggn-?" Skipper suggested.

"EGGNOG!" Rico rushed down into HQ before Skipper could even finish the word.

"Woah there, compadre! Save some for us!" Skipper laughed. The children 'aww'ed at their lost penguin-reindeer, beginning to meander to other habitats. "Private, what was that you were saying?"

"I like the ones with the gold better. They have more sparkle!"

"Perfect. Throw those ones out. We'll go with the others."

Private's beak dropped open. "But- I- uh!"

That night Rico went topside after the other penguins were asleep and put on his antlers and red nose. "Wico da wed-nosed penguin, blahdee gahbah dee ga dee! Wico da wed-nosed penguin, blahdee gahbah dee ga KABOOM!"

The explosion caused a far-off beeping.

"MY CAR!"

Rico promptly swallowed his antlers and nose again, whistling as he dropped back into HQ.